HDRDTH -Chapter 9 Stop Randomly Calling Me Mom and Dad — I Just Want to Catch Up on Sleep!

What’s more terrifying than getting no fish while fishing?

The entire city putting Invisible Wings on repeat.

Inside the villa, the ringing phones hadn’t stopped. In fact, they’d evolved into a duet.

“Miss Su! I’m a reporter from the Evening News! We want to interview that hidden master!”

“Two million! We want exclusive rights!”

“We’re planning a world tour for Su Qian!”

On the sofa, Yu Xian had stuffed cotton into both ears. The copy of One Hundred Tips for Fishing Masters in his hands was already wrinkled from being squeezed too hard.

Too noisy.

This life was impossible.

Snap!

Yu Xian stood up expressionlessly and yanked out the phone line.

The world became peaceful for exactly one second.

Su Wanyi floated over with a glowing face, still clutching a burning-hot pager phone.

“Why’d you unplug it?! That ringing isn’t noise—it’s raining money!”

“Can money be eaten?”

Yu Xian pointed at his stomach and looked at her like she was mentally challenged.

“I’m hungry.”

“Ah! President Yang’s calling again!”

Su Wanyi spun around and rushed toward the balcony to continue her billion-dollar business negotiations.

Nobody cared whether the actual hero lived or died.

Yu Xian dark-faced his way into the kitchen.

The fridge was emptier than his dignity. Only half a bowl of leftover rice and two eggs remained.

“Fine. Barely enough to survive.”

Pan on the stove.

Oil heating.

No flashy tricks—just brutal high heat.

The rice grains arced through the air like golden streaks. Egg liquid wrapped tightly around every grain of rice while chopped scallions were added at the perfect final second.

Three minutes.

Done.

An overwhelmingly tyrannical aroma of wok-char burst out like it had grown legs, kicking open the living room air and instantly scattering the stench of money.

Grrrr—

Su Wanyi’s stomach growled at the worst possible moment.

She immediately hung up a business call worth several million and teleported to the kitchen doorway.

Su Qian also threw down her pen and ran over like a puppy.

“So fragrant! Uncle Yu, what is this?”

Yu Xian shielded the plate protectively and raised an eyelid.

“You want some? Extra charge.”

Smack!

A bright red hundred-yuan bill slapped onto the table.

Su Wanyi radiated rich-person energy.

“One hundred yuan for one bowl of rice! Keep the change!”

Yu Xian accepted the money and pushed the plate over.

“Deal.”

Just as the family of three fought over the last bite of fried rice around the table, the doorbell exploded.

The moment the door opened, a mountain of flesh squeezed inside.

“Mom! Your son brought your grandson to pay respects!”

The spoon in Su Wanyi’s hand clattered back into the bowl.

At the doorway stood Wang Dafu, carrying premium bird’s nest gifts with a face full of smiles.

In his other hand, like carrying a baby chicken, he dragged along a chubby little boy with a deeply unwilling expression.

Su Qian shrank back.

It was Wang Xiaoming.

The class bully who’d mocked her for being poor just yesterday.

“President Wang…” Su Wanyi’s toes curled awkwardly. “I’m ten years younger than you. Calling me Mom will shorten my lifespan!”

“We each count our own generations! Since Dad acknowledged me, you’re naturally Mom!”

Wang Dafu suddenly smacked his son hard on the back of the head.

“What are you standing around for?! Greet them! This is your grandpa! This is your grandma!”

Wang Xiaoming stared at Su Wanyi, who looked younger than his own mother, then looked at Yu Xian in baggy shorts and flip-flops.

His worldview shattered.

“Dad… they’re not even older than my uncle…”

SMACK!

Another slap.

“Less nonsense! Call him Grandpa! Or I’m cutting off your allowance for a year!”

Tears welled up in Wang Xiaoming’s eyes as he bent into a humiliating ninety-degree bow.

“Gr-grandpa! Gr-grandma!”

“PFFFT—”

Yu Xian nearly sprayed tea from his mouth.

He became a grandfather just like that?

Wasn’t this grandson a little too old?

Before he could recover, Wang Dafu turned his son toward the shrinking Su Qian.

“And this one!”

Pointing at Su Qian with a loving expression, Wang Dafu announced:

“This is your biological aunt! From now on, if anyone dares bully your aunt at school, beat them to death for me! Understood?”

Wang Xiaoming’s tiny green-bean eyes widened.

The classmate he bullied yesterday had become his aunt today?

Was this some kind of ultra-level-up in seniority?!

“Call her!” Wang Dafu roared.

Under his father’s murderous stare, the school bully completely broke down.

With a trembling, tearful voice, he shouted the sentence that would haunt him forever:

“A-Auntie!”

Su Qian was so frightened she could barely hold her spoon.

“W-Wang Xiaoming… please don’t do this…”

“That’s enough.”

Yu Xian finally couldn’t take it anymore and rubbed his temples.

“If you keep randomly calling people family, I’ll cut out your tongue and use it as fish bait.”

“Understood, Dad! We’ll listen to you!”

Wang Dafu instantly stood at attention and shoved his still-sniffling son toward the door.

“Go! Buy your aunt a limited-edition Barbie doll! Don’t come back unless it’s solid gold!”

After handling the “family matters,” Wang Dafu stepped aside to reveal an elderly man in a Zhongshan suit.

“Dad, Mom, let me introduce him. This is Elder Cai from the provincial capital, a director of the Chinese Culinary Association! He specifically came to visit a true master!”

Elder Cai stood with his hands behind his back, face stern.

He looked down greatly upon Wang Dafu’s nonstop nonsense.

Hidden master?

Most likely just another fraud.

But the moment he entered the room, his picky old nose twitched twice sharply.

His cloudy eyes instantly locked onto the empty plate on the dining table.

There were no mixed odors—only an unbelievably pure egg fragrance!

Elder Cai’s expression changed drastically. In three quick steps, he rushed over without caring about appearances, dipped a finger into the leftover residue, and tasted it.

The next second—

His pupils shook violently.

“Loose without scattering! Moist without greasiness!”

Elder Cai turned and stared at Yu Xian.

“Young man! This is the lost imperial culinary technique Golden Wrapped Silver?! Such control of heat—who is your master?!”

Wang Dafu puffed out his chest proudly like a victorious rooster.

“See that? That’s my real dad! Our family’s inherited technique!”

Yu Xian swallowed the last mouthful of rice and let out a satisfied burp.

Then he looked at them like idiots.

“What Golden Wrapped Silver? It’s just leftover rice fried with egg.”

He pushed the bowl aside.

“Outside food tastes terrible, so I messed around and made this myself. What, you people never ate leftovers before?”

Peak humblebragging.

Absolute top-tier humblebragging.

Elder Cai inhaled deeply and solemnly took out a golden plaque.

“Great skill appears simple! Young man, next month there’s a state-banquet-level culinary exchange conference. On behalf of the association, I would like to invite you—”

“Not going.”

Yu Xian rejected him instantly without even lifting his eyelids.

The golden plaque froze awkwardly in midair.

“Th-this is a state banquet! Countless master chefs would beg for such an opportunity…”

“No time.”

Yu Xian stood up and dusted off his pants.

“I need to take care of the kid, and I still have to study how to stop getting no catches while fishing. Who has time to play house with a bunch of old men?”

Dead silence filled the room.

Wang Dafu stomped his feet anxiously.

“My dear father! That’s a state banquet! If you go, you’ll become an imperial chef! Ancestors rising from the grave-level glory!”

“If your ancestors catch fire, go put it out yourself. What’s that got to do with me?”

Yu Xian rolled his eyes and yawned as he walked toward the bedroom.

“I’m going to catch up on sleep. Those phone calls last night gave me a headache.”

Halfway there, he suddenly stopped and pointed at the mess on the table.

“Since you’re already here, wash the dishes while you’re at it.”

“My house doesn’t support freeloaders.”

BANG!

The bedroom door slammed shut.

Leaving Elder Cai standing there with the golden plaque in hand, utterly lost in the wind.

A director of the Culinary Association…

Being told to wash dishes?!

Wang Dafu’s legs nearly gave out.

“Elder Cai, my dad has a weird temper. Don’t take it personally, I’ll wash them instead—”

“Excellent! Truly excellent! ‘My house doesn’t support freeloaders!’”

Elder Cai suddenly burst into laughter, eyes full of fanaticism.

“To treat fame and fortune like dirt! A true recluse hidden among the common people! This is the bearing of a real master!”

He shoved Wang Dafu aside and rolled up his sleeves.

“I’m washing these dishes! Anyone who fights me for them is my enemy!”

And so, a scene shocking enough to stun the entire city occurred.

Elder Cai—the culinary god who even provincial governors had to invite depending on his mood—was now standing in the kitchen of a nouveau riche villa, happily humming Invisible Wings while washing dishes with pure enjoyment!

Inside the bedroom, Yu Xian buried his face into the pillow and let out a cry of despair.

“Why does the entire world want to come to my house just to wash dishes…”

“I only want to sleep quietly for once! Is that really so hard?!”

But he had no idea—

The real trouble had only just begun.

Meanwhile, outside Yucai Elementary School—

Cameras and microphones were already set up everywhere. Flashlights blazed like hungry wolves.

The reporters blocked the school gate completely, targeting only one person—

The genius little girl whose singing had taken half the nation by storm!