SBCEJM -Chapter 14 An Egg-Hatching Vice Minister? No — A Breeding Tycoon!

“Your Majesty! My egg… it shattered!”

Liu Hong’s wail was utterly miserable, echoing throughout the entire Golden Throne Hall.

Like a wild dog that had slipped its leash, he threw himself at the puddle of sticky egg yolk on the floor, mourning as though he had lost his parents, crying so hard his heart seemed ready to break apart.

The way he screamed in grief, one would think the shattered object was not a tiny bird egg, but the very foundation of his bloodline.

All the officials in the hall stood there dumbfounded.

They had seen men cry after losing office. They had seen men howl after having their homes confiscated.

But this was the first time in their lives they had ever seen a third-rank court official cry like this over a broken egg.

This Lord Liu truly was… refreshingly unconventional. A once-in-a-century oddity.

Feng Zexuan’s mouth twitched.

【Good lord, he’s crying so hard… when his actual parents die, he probably won’t even be this sad!】

【Anyone who didn’t know better would think he smashed some dragon egg or phoenix offspring. The devotion! The grief! Someone owes this man an Oscar!】

【Bro, the emperor already caught you secretly hatching eggs and is literally roaring at you in court — why are you still here holding a funeral for your egg? Respect. Truly respect.】

Liu Hong’s heartbroken sobbing came to an abrupt halt after hearing those thoughts.

Right!

Swapping out sacrificial offerings and deceiving the emperor — that was a crime punishable by extermination of the nine clans!

It suddenly dawned on him…

He himself was also about to die!

The moment he realized he might soon be accompanying that shattered egg into the afterlife, his expression instantly shifted from grief to terror, his face turning deathly pale.

Upon the dragon throne, Xiao Juechen’s face was as dark as the bottom of a pot.

What he hated most was being treated like a fool.

Using an ordinary white-feathered chicken as a heavenly sacrifice was beyond ridiculous. It was tantamount to throwing the dignity of the Son of Heaven — and the authority of the entire imperial family — onto the ground and trampling all over it!

“Liu Hong!”

Xiao Juechen’s voice was ice-cold, devoid of even a trace of warmth.

“I have received a secret memorial accusing you of negligence, replacing sacrificial offerings, and desecrating the heavens! …Do you admit your guilt?”

Liu Hong knew perfectly well that this “secret memorial” was merely the emperor’s excuse. The real truth had already been exposed completely by Little Lord Feng’s inner thoughts…

He could only kneel and resign himself to fate.

“This humble subject deserves death a thousand times over. I await Your Majesty’s punishment.”

The emperor already had the words “Drag him out and execute him” at the tip of his tongue.

Liu Hong’s death sentence was mere moments away from being finalized.

Yet Feng Zexuan’s inner voice rang out again at the worst possible timing.

【Sigh. Sure, this guy’s brain works in ways no normal human can comprehend, but death seems a bit excessive, doesn’t it? He didn’t embezzle money or hurt anyone. His hobbies are just… unusually specific.】

The thunderous sentence Xiao Juechen was about to pronounce was forcibly swallowed back down.

He wanted to hear what kind of outrageous nonsense this Feng Zekai would come up with next.

The system spoke up:

【Host, don’t underestimate him! Sure, he stole that auspicious white pheasant, but his egg-hatching achievements over the past few years have been phenomenal!】

【Not only did he successfully breed that white pheasant, he also raised seven lively baby white pheasants from it! And those flamingos the Western Regions once presented as tribute? He successfully hatched over a dozen more of them too!】

【Strictly speaking, this isn’t theft. It’s more like… borrowing breeding stock to produce eggs? And he even exceeded his KPI targets! This counts as technical poverty alleviation!】

Feng Zexuan’s eyes instantly lit up.

【Holy crap! A hidden breeding magnate! This guy is a national treasure-level technical expert!】

【Trade one auspicious bird for seven more, plus over a dozen flamingos? Your Majesty made a killing on this deal!】

The officials in the hall exchanged glances, their expressions turning increasingly strange.

Because…

When you thought about it carefully…

It actually made sense?

One chicken exchanged for an entire flock of auspicious birds — no matter how you calculated it, the court had profited immensely.

The fury in Xiao Juechen’s heart from being deceived also subtly shifted direction under this bizarre “merits offset crimes” logic.

Seven white pheasants?

Those were auspicious omens. The more, the better.

Over a dozen flamingos?

Those were rare exotic birds that displayed the strength and prosperity of the empire.

If Liu Hong truly could consistently breed rare birds and exotic beasts, then his value was far greater than being a ceremonial Vice Minister of Rites who merely recited old regulations.

Feng Zexuan’s inner thoughts continued pouring forth, now ascending to philosophical heights.

【Besides, these heaven-worship ceremonies are basically just elaborate rituals for emotional comfort anyway.】

【Last year’s floods and plagues had absolutely nothing to do with what kind of chicken was used for the sacrifice! The real problem was scum like Zhang Tai hollowing out the river embankments through corruption! If they don’t hurry up and focus on flood control and epidemic prevention, what can one white pheasant possibly accomplish?】

【If a country wants to prosper, it relies on practical governance — not vague feudal superstition. An emperor who governs wisely, officials who diligently serve the people, and citizens living in peace and prosperity — isn’t that worth ten thousand times more than any so-called auspicious omen?】

Boom!

Those words struck Xiao Juechen’s heart like a great bell ringing at dawn.

Could it be…

That heaven-worship rituals were truly useless?

For a moment, he found it difficult to accept.

If that were true, then all these years of fasting, ritual purification, and devout prayers…

Had they all been meaningless?

But when he thought about it carefully, it really did seem that way.

Over the years, natural disasters and calamities had never decreased in the slightest, regardless of how grand the rituals were or how precious the offerings became.

So ever since ascending the throne, he had worked tirelessly, governed diligently, and devoted himself wholeheartedly to the people…

Why, then, did he always attribute every uncontrollable disaster to vague notions like “the will of heaven” and “moral virtue”?

Rely on practical action, not superstition.

Though Feng Zekai’s words were crude and outrageous, they had struck directly at the core of his heart.

Xiao Juechen drew a deep breath, suppressing the stormy waves in his mind, then swept his sharp gaze over the trembling Liu Hong on the floor.

Death could be spared.

Punishment could not.

“Liu Hong,” Xiao Juechen said coldly, though there was now a trace of complicated emotion in his tone.

“Though you have merits in breeding rare birds, replacing sacrificial offerings remains a grave act of disrespect.”

“However, considering that your original intentions were not for personal profit, and that your results are indeed significant, I hereby demote you by two ranks and transfer you to the Court of Imperial Agriculture. A new ‘Rare Aviary Garden’ shall be established, and you shall serve as its superintendent, specializing in the breeding of all royal birds and fowl.”

“And from this day forward, if you dare bring eggs into court again… I’ll turn you into an egg.”

Saved from disaster!

Liu Hong could scarcely believe his ears.

Ignoring the broken egg and all his grief, he kowtowed frantically toward the dragon throne, shouting his thanks at the top of his lungs: “Thank you for Your Majesty’s boundless grace! Thank you for sparing this subject’s life! This subject obeys! I shall never dare again!”

As long as he could continue hatching eggs, forget demotion and reassignment — even if the emperor ordered him castrated to become a eunuch, he would gladly accept!

Thus, an utterly absurd farce came to an end in an even more absurd fashion.

In a single day, the Ministry of Works lost two massively corrupt officials — one pervert and one beast.

Meanwhile, the Ministry of Rites produced an egg-hatching lunatic obsessed with bird breeding.

Today’s morning court session had simply contained too much information. Every official felt as though their brains had been repeatedly scrubbed inside a filthy latrine — chaotic, foul, and completely overloaded.

“Court dismissed—”

Following the eunuch attendant’s long, drawn-out announcement, the officials felt as though they had been granted amnesty. One after another, they bowed hurriedly before fleeing the Golden Throne Hall as though escaping for their lives.

Feng Huai’an wiped the endless cold sweat from his forehead and immediately grabbed Feng Zexuan by the sleeve, desperate to leave as quickly as possible.

Today, his “son” had dropped too many explosive revelations. His poor old heart was already reaching its limit.

“Minister Feng. Stay a moment.”