LOT – Chapter 40 The Irresistible Butt That Captivated the Flower-Thief General

Lin Mo knew she’d gone a bit overboard after getting drunk last night, so she’d spent the entire day avoiding Minister Lin, mastering the art of vanishing into thin air.

Lin Ran couldn’t stand watching her sister sneaking around like a petty thief. “You’re a proper court official now—can you act a little less shady?”

Lin Mo poked her head out from behind a wall, hunched over like a spy, and whispered, “I’m just scared Father might show up. If he finds out I’ve sobered up, he’ll definitely beat me!”

Lin Ran cringed at the memory of all the noble ladies tugging at her sleeves, bombarding her with questions about what had happened last night. It was beyond embarrassing.

The events of the banquet had spread like wildfire, and everyone was laughing about it.

Even Minister Lin hadn’t been spared when he went out on official business—someone actually teased him: “Minister Lin, how come you didn’t carry your daughter on your back today? That little Lord Lin must be bored at home—why not bring her out for some fun?”

Minister Lin stormed off with a dark expression and a dramatic sleeve flick.

Carry her? What was he—a donkey?

Meanwhile, the Second Prince of Xijiang had fallen ill since returning home that night. No one dared mention Lin Mo’s name in front of him—he’d go into a mad fit the moment he heard it.

The system reported this to Lin Mo: [Look at what you’ve done to the poor guy. Just hearing your name sends him into hysterics.]

Lin Mo sucked in a sharp breath. [He reacts that strongly to my name? That must mean I made a really deep impression. In storybooks, this usually means he’ll start thinking I’m different from other women. Then he’ll slowly grow more and more interested in me, and eventually fall head over heels, unable to help himself!]

The more she thought about it, the more plausible it sounded. Lin Mo had always been confident in her looks—her mother was a beauty, and her father was handsome. She hadn’t fully grown into her features yet, but she was definitely a budding beauty.

The system was speechless at her mix of narcissism and worry.

Seriously, how could anyone be this self-obsessed? How had she made it through life before they were even bonded? Was she this delusional back in the modern world too?

The system finally asked, half in disbelief: [Were you this narcissistic in your first life?]

Lin Mo replied confidently: [Of course not! But that first life was so full of repression—this life is my rebellion! I’ve realized that nothing feels as good as going full gremlin mode!]

[Look how carefree and happy I am now! I don’t care what anyone thinks!]

The system: …Yeah, okay. There’s no reasoning with someone this far gone.

When Lin Mo arrived for morning court, all eyes turned to her. Everyone greeted her warmly, calling her “Little Lord Lin” one after another. She was basking in it.

The system couldn’t help but comment, baffled: [You’re just an eighth-rank official in the Patrol Division. Why is everyone being so nice and respectful to you?]

Lin Mo beamed smugly: [Clearly, they’ve been won over by my magnetic personality! I’m the one red flower among a sea of green!]

The officials all nodded internally: Yes, yes, Little Lord Lin’s charisma is truly overpowering—we’ve all been completely conquered.

During court, the discussion turned to the Second Prince’s condition.

“Your Majesty, the Second Prince of Xijiang’s condition has worsened. He refuses to see anyone with the surname Lin. Even the imperial physician you sent—Lin Taiyi—was immediately thrown out.”

“Your Majesty, regardless of what happens, we can’t have him dying inside our borders.”

The officials were all conflicted. This prince’s mental resilience was just… fragile. Was this level of drama really necessary?

Lin Mo: [Tsk tsk tsk, talk about a fragile ego.]

System: [Host, I think it’s more likely because you’re just too unhinged.]

Emperor Xuande nearly burst out laughing at that, but quickly coughed to cover it up. “Then send a different physician. If that doesn’t work, escort him back to Xijiang.”

He wasn’t even a biological prince, after all. The system had already said the Crown Prince was on his way. Sooner or later, this Second Prince would be shipped back to deal with.

Lin Mo had been thinking the same thing. She asked the system, puzzled: [His Majesty’s birthday is in just over half a month. Will that Xijiang Crown Prince be able to make it in time?]

The system checked his route… then fell silent for a solid five seconds before replying, extremely exasperated: [Highly unlikely. He’s heading in the opposite direction. He’s almost at Xirong by now!]

Would you like me to continue with the next chapter?

Lin Mo’s eyes widened in shock. [Wait—what? The Crown Prince doesn’t even know how to follow a road?!]

Pfft—hahaha! The officials all ducked their heads, trying to hide their laughter. A vivid image formed in everyone’s mind: this Xijiang royal family really had… talent.

Lin Mo was utterly speechless. [Doesn’t the Crown Prince have anyone in his retinue who can navigate properly?]

System: [Uh, technically yes, but they’re all just a bunch of sycophants. Oh, and also—he poisoned all of them yesterday.]

Lin Mo: ???

Everyone else: ???

System: [So, they’ve been roughing it in the wilderness, right? Well, the Crown Prince decided to show some “care” for his men and personally cooked a mushroom stew. Every single one of them got poisoned. A hunter found them this morning. If he’d arrived any later, they might’ve all died.]

Lin Mo and the entire court: …

Between a Second Prince who isn’t even biologically royal, and a Crown Prince like this, it really seemed like Xijiang was doomed.

Morning court continued, just as dull as ever. The seeds brought from Xijiang had already been handed over to the Ministry of Agriculture, but Lin Mo wasn’t interested in that stuff, so she tuned it out.

[System, quick, give me some juicy gossip—I’m bored out of my mind.]

System: [I’ve been waiting for you to say that! Would you prefer domestic gossip or international gossip?]

All the officials (mentally): International, please! International!

Lin Mo: [Domestic, I guess. I don’t even know those foreigners. We can wait until they arrive before gossiping about them.]

Everyone’s smiles drooped instantly. Another one bites the scandalous dust.

System: [I’ve gathered dirt on a bunch of top officials over the past few days. Let’s start with the Grand Commandant!]

Standing up front, the Grand Commandant’s butt clenched in instinctive terror. Crap. The little gremlin’s got her eyes on me!

The room’s atmosphere dropped three notches. Even the Emperor leaned slightly forward in his seat.

The happiest man in the room was the Assistant Minister of the Court of Judicial Review. Finally! Someone else’s turn!

[Guess what? Someone’s got their eyes on the Grand Commandant’s butt!]

Lin Mo: !!!

Everyone else: !!!

Lin Mo could feel this was no ordinary piece of gossip.

[System! Spill—everything!]

The Grand Commandant discreetly touched his own backside, feeling a cold shiver run down his spine.

Which pervert would be interested in the butt of an aging man like him?! Have they no shame?!

System: [You remember that flower thief who caused a stir in the capital not long ago? Well, that thief accidentally snuck into the Grand Commandant’s residence—but got the wrong courtyard and ended up in his room instead. At the time, the Grand Commandant had just taken a bath and was bent over, drying off. The thief couldn’t tell if he was a man or a woman… but he did get a good look at his butt.]

Would you like the next part of this absolutely cursed story?

[That moment changed everything for him—it was love at first sight… with a dreamlike pair of buttocks. Fair, smooth, delicate, and perfectly round. But just as he was admiring the view, the Grand Commandant’s guards started their patrol, so the thief had to flee. He thought he’d stumbled into the boudoir of some young lady from the Commandant’s household. Right now, he’s busy trying to figure out which ‘miss’ it was.]

Lin Mo felt dizzy just listening to it, and everyone present had their minds blown—completely dazed and confused.

Everyone began sneaking glances at the Grand Commandant’s butt. Just how stunning must it be for a flower thief to become so obsessed with it?!

The Grand Commandant looked like he was about to die from sheer humiliation. No wonder his window had been open that night—he’d assumed it was the wind!

Up on the throne, Emperor Xuande could only see the Grand Commandant’s beet-red face, not the infamous butt in question. Tsk! Why won’t this man just turn around already?