LOT – Chapter 35 I Was Just Reminding You to Take a Bath, No Need to Kneel and Thank Me

Since the Western Frontier envoy came to celebrate the Emperor’s birthday, they brought quite a number of gifts. Most of the items were local specialties from their region — everything glittered with gold and looked quite beautiful, and probably valuable too.

Lin Mo looked at the pile and commented in her mind: [If we sold all of this, we could probably make a pretty penny.]

System: [I think so too. Oh, and when your Emperor had his birthday before, he actually sold off most of the gifts his ministers gave him. The ones that couldn’t be sold were stored in his private collection, but everything else was turned into silver and handed over to the national treasury.]

[Gotta say, your Emperor is a really good one — just terribly broke.]

Emperor Xuande: …

All the ministers: …

No wonder the Emperor always looked so happy whenever he received expensive gifts for his birthday — turns out he was just imagining them all as piles of shining silver!

From the Emperor’s point of view, their gifts were probably just walking bags of silver.

Noticing the stares from his ministers, the Emperor cleared his throat awkwardly and said, “Second Prince, you’ve traveled a long way and must be tired. Why don’t you go rest first? Tonight, we’ll hold a welcoming banquet for you — a chance to experience our customs and culture.”

The Second Prince of the Western Frontier smiled. “Thank you for your thoughtfulness, Your Majesty. I’ve long heard of Great Yong’s vast lands and abundant resources, and how it has made great achievements in all areas. Although I’ve visited a few times before, those were quick trips. I’m finally getting the chance to truly experience the local culture today.”

“I’ve also heard that Your Majesty’s three princes are all extraordinary men. In our country, boys train in martial arts and archery from a young age. Since we place great importance on martial skills, I assume the princes here are also highly skilled. Why don’t we have a friendly match tonight, so I may witness their abilities firsthand?”

Everyone’s expressions instantly changed — so he was here to stir up trouble.

They had just been thinking that this Western Prince seemed rather polite and well-behaved… but here he was, throwing out challenges already.

Lin Mo, for once, sensed that something felt off. But before she could say anything, the system chimed in:

[We can have the Second Prince fight our Second Prince — Second vs. Second, perfect match-up!]

[But before the match, make sure the Western Prince takes a bath. We can’t have any stench-based psychological warfare going on!]

Lin Mo nodded in agreement: [Exactly, no matter what, he needs to wash up first. It’s been half a month — the guy must stink by now. If they fight like this, our princes won’t even want to land a blow on him. Hitting him would feel filthy!]

Everyone: …

All that tension that had been slowly building up just evaporated in an instant. Little Lord Lin really was getting skilled at this emotional pacing thing.

The Crown Prince and his two younger brothers were barely holding their expressions together. They weren’t afraid of fighting the man — but after hearing the system say he hadn’t bathed in two weeks, none of them wanted to touch him.

The Third Prince quietly muttered to his older brothers, “Big Brother, Second Brother… how about you two handle tonight’s match? You both know my martial skills aren’t as good. I could compete with him in talent, maybe, but when it comes to fighting… I’d rather not embarrass myself.”

The Crown Prince said helplessly, “You’ve got it backwards. Among the three of us, you’re actually the best at martial arts. As for your talents… I think only you can see them.”

Third Prince: …How could you say something so hurtful! Are we even real brothers anymore?

Emperor Xuande looked down at the Second Prince of the Western Frontier, who wore a self-satisfied expression. A hint of mockery appeared on the Emperor’s face.

“Since the Second Prince has made such a proposal, let’s proceed with it tonight. I just wonder — which of my sons do you wish to challenge?”

The system cheered: [Second vs. second! Let the Second Prince fight the Second Prince!]

Second Prince: …Why does that sound so wrong somehow?

Lin Mo also started chanting along in her head. Soon, the entire grand hall echoed with “Second Prince! Second Prince!”

Emperor Xuande’s temple twitched. He tried his best to ignore Lin Mo’s mental shouting.

Minister Lin, standing nearby, already looked pale as a ghost.

An official next to him noticed his awful expression and tried to comfort him, saying, “Minister Lin, don’t worry too much. His Majesty knows what kind of personality Little Lord Lin has. He won’t take her too seriously.”

Minister Lin forced a stiff smile. “Let’s hope so.”

Truth be told, he had already picked out burial plots for the whole family — in a location with excellent feng shui.

With a daughter who loved causing trouble and stirring drama this much, how could he not make future plans for the family’s survival?

The Emperor might be a wise ruler, but being close to a monarch is like living with a tiger. Just because he favored you today didn’t mean he would tomorrow. And this foolish girl — every single thing she did was enough to get her executed!

(Xuande Emperor: Don’t slander me, okay! I’m not the type to execute people on a whim! Especially not someone who’s basically the court jester!)

The Western Frontier’s Second Prince, oblivious to Lin Mo’s inner commentary, turned directly to the Crown Prince.

“I’ve long heard of the Crown Prince’s literary and martial excellence. Why don’t I challenge the Crown Prince this evening?”

Lin Mo had expected that. After all, he was clearly here to stir up trouble, so of course he’d go after the person with the highest status.

System: [Wait a sec! Weren’t we doing second vs. second? Why’s he suddenly picking the Crown Prince? He’s a Second Prince — shouldn’t he challenge his counterpart?]

Lin Mo: [How’s our Crown Prince’s martial arts?]

That was all Lin Mo cared about right now. Between her own country and a foreign one, she was naturally going to side with her own!

System: [Not bad. About even with that Second Prince from the West, though the Crown Prince might not be as strong physically. He’ll need to win with skill.]

Lin Mo thought for a moment, already planning her strategy. [System, tonight you help spot weaknesses and give advice, and I’ll shout out the tips to the Crown Prince. No one said outside assistance was forbidden!]

System: [Got it! Don’t worry, I’ll find every opening — your Crown Prince is going to wipe the floor with him!]

Lin Mo: …Let’s not go that far.

Suddenly, all the officials in the hall relaxed. With the system’s help, there shouldn’t be any major problems tonight.

Emperor Xuande stroked his chin with a faint smile. This Lin girl might be a bit wild and reckless, but at least she cared about the country — not bad, not bad.

As the Second Prince of the Western Frontier was about to leave, the system reminded: [Hey, how about you remind that Second Prince to take a bath before tonight? He’s evenly matched with your Crown Prince, but if he adds in the stench, it becomes a biological weapon. That boosts his combat power significantly.]

One nearby official was just wondering how Lin Mo would deliver that message, when — smack! — she rushed forward from the back of the hall and shouted at the top of her lungs:

“Hey, Second Prince! Make sure you take a bath before tonight’s banquet, okay? You kinda stink!”

Emperor: !!!

Everyone else: !!!

Minister Lin: …Just let the world end already…

The Second Prince had almost reached the door, but was so startled by her shout that he tripped right at the threshold.

From Lin Mo’s perspective, it looked like the man had knelt down and offered her a formal bow.

Lin Mo: “Oh, no need to kneel and thank me — I was just kindly reminding you, that’s all.”

[This guy’s really polite. He even knelt to thank me. Is that how they express gratitude in his country?]

Everyone was speechless. Even the system didn’t know what to say anymore.

System: [Uh… as long as you’re happy.]

That man’s eyes practically shot daggers at you! Your obliviousness is on another level!