LOT – Chapter 34 Do Those Stepmothers of His Like It When He Doesn’t Bathe? Like That He’s So Hairy?

Early the next morning, Lin Mo was dragged out of bed by her old man to go welcome the Second Prince of the Western Frontier.

“Dad, this is your job. You can go by yourself. Why do you have to drag me along? I finally get a day off from court, can’t you just let me rest for once?”

Lin Mo was being literally hauled along like luggage. Her expression was utterly dead inside, and she had massive dark circles under her eyes.

Last night, she’d stayed up carving some random thing until the middle of the night. When inspiration hits, there’s just no stopping it, so she had to strike while the creative iron was hot.

Minister Lin used his other hand to straighten her hat and grumbled, “You think I want to bring you? The emperor told me to! Lord Li has to be there to record everything, and since you’re his assistant, obviously you have to go with him!”

“I’m warning you, you’d better behave yourself later, or just wait till we get home—see how I deal with you then!”

Lin Mo: …

How have I not behaved?! I’m always perfectly behaved, okay?!

She barely even says a word at court, just quietly stands off to the side every day—how’s that not well-behaved?

(Everyone else: Sure, your mouth stays shut, but your inner monologue? That’s a whole drama show.)

The system tried to comfort her seeing how miserable she looked: [No worries, no worries. Once I start spilling some gossip, you’ll perk right up!]

Minister Lin’s hand twitched—he almost flung Lin Mo away.

Lin Mo clung to his leg in terror, hugging it with all four limbs as she quivered, “Dad~ Even if you’re annoyed with me, don’t throw me away! I’m your biological daughter!”

Minister Lin: …If you weren’t my biological daughter, you’d already be airborne.

Seriously, even now you’re thinking about gossip? Sure, he was curious too, but could they not take a break for one second?

Receiving envoys from a small country didn’t require the emperor to attend personally, so the Ministry of Rites was in charge, with the historians there to record the event.

Lin Mo followed behind her father expressionlessly, waiting for the Second Prince to show up.

System: [They’re coming, they’re coming!]

With the system’s excited call, everyone looked off into the distance.

Sure enough, the envoys from the Western Frontier were approaching. The man riding at the front on horseback had to be the Second Prince.

Lin Mo narrowed her eyes to get a better look, then said disdainfully: [Are foreigners always this hairy? This Second Prince is only 28, right? Just a bit older than our Crown Prince—but why does he look like he’s in his late 30s?!]

[And with that giant beard… he looks like he smells.]

The system chimed in cheerfully: [Your instincts are right! The Second Prince hasn’t bathed in half a month. He really does smell, but he’s masked it with spices.]

Everyone’s expressions instantly shifted, eyes full of disgust.

Minister Lin’s face fell dramatically. He could only pray that the Second Prince hadn’t heard his brat’s outrageous commentary—or else, there goes peace between nations.

Eunuch Li, who had disguised himself to accompany them, was specifically there to find out whether the foreigner could hear Lin Mo and the system talking.

“U’er greets the honored officials,” said the Second Prince, giving a respectful bow in his nation’s customary manner. He actually seemed rather polite.

As Minister of Rites, Lin Lin stepped forward to handle the official reception, engaging in back-and-forth diplomatic exchanges with the prince—both of them politely probing each other.

Lin Mo stood off to the side, having no clue what they were saying. But weren’t they standing a bit too close? And the way they were talking felt… weirdly intimate?

[System? Why are my dad and the Second Prince making eyes at each other like that? They’re standing so close—doesn’t Dad think this guy stinks? Just wait till I tell Mom he’s out here flirting with other men!]

Lord Li, standing beside her, choked on his own saliva and nearly rolled his eyes back.

Little Lin! You can’t just go around saying stuff like that! That’s your father, for crying out loud!

The system, a total airhead with zero filter, just said whatever it saw.

[I don’t think that’s it. Your dad loves your mom very much. Besides, the Second Prince prefers beautiful women, not handsome uncles. They’re probably just being diplomatic.]

The officials standing behind them had their heads down, trying hard not to laugh—or explode. Their emotions were a chaotic mess.

On one hand, they were terrified the prince might actually hear Lin Mo and the system’s chatter.

On the other, they were losing their minds over how this little troublemaker could be so into gossip at such a sensitive moment!

Judging by the envoy’s expression though, it seemed like he couldn’t hear what Lin Mo and the system were saying.

Eunuch Li even pretended to mishear and asked someone nearby if they’d heard a girl’s voice.

That person looked confused and shook his head—what girl? Aside from that short person in the back whose gender was a mystery, everyone else here was clearly a man.

The shorty — Lin Mo.

Once Eunuch Li got a firm confirmation, he finally relaxed. Looks like only people from their own country could hear this little ancestor’s inner voice.

After the formalities were done, everyone present was to head to the imperial palace to pay respects to the Emperor.

Eunuch Li went on ahead — after all, this had to be reported to the Emperor in advance.

“If they really can’t hear her, then good, very good. That gives us the upper hand. From now on, anytime foreign envoys show up, drag that little Lin girl along. Even if she’s not useful for anything else, at least we’ll get to hear some jokes about people from other countries!”

Eunuch Li: …

Great. The Emperor was becoming more and more unserious these days. Back when money was tight, he used to restrain himself. But now that the treasury had a little cushion, the man was completely letting himself go.

Especially with that chaos-loving gossip gremlin around, always hungry for drama.

“U’er greets His Majesty the Emperor. Long live the Emperor!”

The Second Prince of the Western Frontier respectfully bowed to Emperor Xuande. Honestly, the contrast between this Second Prince and their own nation’s Second Prince was like night and day.

Their own Second Prince was handsome and refined, with elegant manners. This guy? He looked like a bear.

No one could understand how he managed to attract all those stepmothers. Was it a difference in aesthetic standards over in the Western Frontier?

Lin Mo: [System, explain to me how a guy like that managed to win over 122 stepmothers? Is it because he’s good in bed? Or do those stepmothers like men who don’t bathe and are super hairy?]

“Pfft!” The Third Prince couldn’t hold it in and accidentally spat his tea everywhere.

Everyone turned to look at the Third Prince. He awkwardly smiled and said, “The tea was too hot.”

Tea too hot? Yeah right. Clearly, he was just shocked by what Lin Mo had said. Everyone present was utterly stunned, all secretly sneaking glances at the Western Prince.

Yup. Hairy, for sure. And if he really didn’t like bathing… all that hair and no hygiene? No wonder their region produced so many spices — probably to mask the body odor!

The Second Prince of the Western Frontier suddenly felt like a bunch of eyes were staring at him. But every time he turned his head, he saw nothing — all the officials were looking elsewhere, no one was looking at him.

Something felt off… Was he imagining it?

Officials: Phew! That was close! We almost got caught!

Up on the throne, the Emperor watched his ministers sneakily eyeballing the envoy like thieves. He couldn’t help but feel exasperated.

Every time the Second Prince turned around, all those guys would whip their heads back like synchronized swimmers. Watching that many people move like that at once was seriously ridiculous.

Even though they tried to keep their movements small, sitting up on the throne, the Emperor could see everything clear as day.

Emperor Xuande exchanged a look with Eunuch Li — both of them wore matching expressions of helpless disbelief.

Couldn’t these people at least try to be less obvious?