LOT – Chapter 24 The Grand Preceptor’s Scandal, Deputy Minister of Justice Steps Up to Carry the Burden

The system noticed that Minister Lin and Lin Qi had arrived and quickly gave Lin Mo a heads-up.

System: [Sit up quickly—your dad and your brother are here.]

Lin Mo lazily got up and casually shoved the book she was reading under her butt.

The two men at the door walked in. Minister Lin took one look at her slouchy posture—standing improperly, sitting even worse—and let out a long sigh.

Lin Qi, on the other hand, was already used to his little sister’s usual antics.

“Next month is the Longevity Banquet—it’s His Majesty’s birthday. All the civil and military officials will be presenting gifts to the Emperor. You should start preparing something during this time.”

Lin Mo thought for a moment, then turned to the system.

Lin Mo: [Doesn’t the emperor already have everything? No matter what I give him, it won’t measure up. I’ll just give him a big melon (juicy gossip)!]

Minister Lin and Lin Qi nearly choked on their own saliva when they heard that—mostly because her tone made it sound like she was dead serious.

Minister Lin gave her a small glare and said with a touch of exasperation, “You’re a young lady. The best gifts are ones that show sincerity. They don’t need to be expensive—just meaningful.”

Lin Mo scratched her head. Sincerity, huh? That sounded even harder to her. Other noble ladies could write poetry, paint, embroider… She couldn’t do any of that!

System: [Host, I remember you know how to do wood carving, right? Why don’t you make a wooden sculpture? That should definitely show your sincerity.]

Lin Mo’s eyes lit up instantly.

Lin Mo: [That’s right! My carving skills are top-notch! Thanks for the reminder!]

Minister Lin and Lin Qi exchanged a look, both with the same puzzled expression.

Since when did this girl know how to carve wood? Why didn’t we know about this?

With the gift idea locked in, Lin Mo started hunting around for the right type of wood for carving.

But with a month to go, there was no rush—if she carved a little each day, she’d finish in time.

The next morning at court, Lin Mo’s inner thoughts betrayed her, and the emperor ended up knowing what gift she was preparing.

A wooden carving, huh? Indeed, that was a heartfelt and meaningful gift. He hadn’t expected this little girl from the Lin family to have such a skill.

Unaware of what others were thinking, Lin Mo was nodding off again. Watching her wobble back and forth, the system genuinely worried she might face-plant at any second, so it decided to drop a juicy new piece of gossip to wake her up.

System: [Don’t sleep! Don’t sleep! I’ve got a new melon for you—a big one! But fair warning, this one’s got a bit of a smell.]

Lin Mo instantly snapped awake.

Lin Mo: [What melon? What melon? Spill it now!]

Everyone else, now familiar with this routine, instinctively lowered their voices and tilted their heads ever so slightly, ears perked. They’d thought for sure the girl would sleep through the whole morning—but who would’ve guessed the system would deliver a melon on its own initiative!

The system spoke in a mischievous tone: [Today’s melon is about the Grand Preceptor!]

The Grand Preceptor? At once, everyone turned their attention to the white-bearded old man at the front.

Grand Preceptor: …I don’t recall ever offending you two. Why are you dragging out my dirty laundry?!

Yes, the officials in court now feared nothing more than being called out by Lin Mo. While they were happy to feast on other people’s scandals, they absolutely didn’t want to be involved in any themselves.

Not everyone in court was a spotless official. Some walked the line between virtue and corruption—they’d done both good and bad things.

So, they were quite afraid Lin Mo would suddenly call them out. Thanks to Lin Mo and the system’s existence, many petty schemes had been curbed in secret.

Then came the system’s cheerful announcement:

[Did you know? Last night, the Grand Preceptor wet his pants!]

Wet his pants… pants… ts…

The words echoed like a hammer, striking directly into the Grand Preceptor’s heart. His eyes rolled back, and he nearly fainted on the spot.

The imperial physician, who was always on standby, immediately pulled out a long needle and jabbed it into one of the Grand Preceptor’s pressure points. This time, though, he was much gentler than when he treated the General.

“Milord, stay calm. It’s normal to have incontinence at your age,” the physician whispered reassuringly. Only… that “comfort” really didn’t feel all that comforting.

Up on the throne, the emperor exhaled in relief. Phew, thank heavens the Grand Preceptor didn’t pass out.

He discreetly signaled the Crown Prince and the two other princes. All three quickly moved to support the Grand Preceptor—one on the left, one on the right, and one behind. He was now held up more securely than a porcelain vase.

Grand Preceptor: …Honestly, just let me faint already.

Lin Mo, meanwhile, was already cracking up inside:

[The Grand Preceptor is only in his 60s, right? How did he end up wetting his pants? Could there be something wrong with his health?]

System: [Old age is part of it, but it was probably a dream. I did a scan and found he was sleep-talking last night—he spent the whole dream looking for a toilet… and then he found one.]

Lin Mo: …

Everyone else: …

Grand Preceptor (internally collapsing): Why can this system even know what I say in my dreams?! And why does it care whether I wet my pants or not?!

There are so many people in this court—why me?!

Unaware of the Grand Preceptor’s inner turmoil, Lin Mo gave her own insightful commentary:

[The worst thing about dreams is looking for a toilet. And worse than that… is actually finding one.]

The other officials all silently nodded in agreement. So true.

Who hadn’t had a dream like that? Desperately looking for a bathroom in the dream, only to find one—and regret it instantly in the real world.

The Third Prince frowned, somewhat unconvinced.

“When I was little, I had a dream like that too. I found a toilet in the dream, but when I woke up, I didn’t wet the bed.”

Hearing this, the Crown Prince sighed.

“That’s because I got up in the middle of the night, changed your pants, and had someone change the sheets.”

Oh, the memories…

That night, he’d been sleeping soundly when he suddenly felt a wave of warmth. Opened his eyes, and lo and behold—his little brother was peeing on him.

Upon hearing his big brother’s response, the Third Prince shut up immediately. So it wasn’t that I didn’t wet the bed… it’s that my brother silently carried that burden for me.

When he was younger, the Third Prince used to cling tightly to his two older brothers—he even insisted on sleeping with them at night, often draped over one of them. Most of his accidents, in fact, had ended up on his brothers rather than the bed.

The system didn’t stop there, gleefully continuing:

[Let me tell you something else—not only did the Grand Preceptor wet the bed, but the Deputy Minister of Justice once even pooped himself!]

The Deputy Minister of Justice’s eyes went wide: !!!

Why am I being dragged into this now?!

Everyone’s eyes quietly shifted toward the Deputy Minister. At that moment, the Grand Preceptor felt immense gratitude toward him.

They even exchanged a look.

Grand Preceptor (silently): Thank you… for taking over this burden for me! I owe you one!

Deputy Minister: …But I didn’t ask for this! Can’t you carry your own shame? I don’t want to be your scapegoat!

The emperor stared down at his ministers, his expression completely numb.

These are supposed to be the pillars of the state? The very backbone of the empire? And they can’t even control their own bowels?

Suddenly, he couldn’t help but feel like… the country might be doomed.