LOT -Chapter 150 Dad, Your Head Looks Like a Big Watermelon

Next came the part where the ministers presented their birthday gifts.

And honestly, the Empress’s birthday gifts were far more lavish than those the Emperor received on his own birthday.

The Emperor’s envious gaze was almost enough to make people die laughing. Looking at those glittering, golden treasures, he nearly forgot his royal dignity and lunged toward them.

Eunuch Li, standing beside him, kept whispering nonstop, “Your Majesty, Your Majesty, please mind your image!”

Could we not act so uncultured? The national treasury isn’t that empty anymore!

Emperor Xuande took a deep breath, forcing down his excitement. Calm down, calm down. Whatever goes into the Empress’s pockets is still in mine.

We’re husband and wife—what’s hers is mine. If I ever need money, I’ll just ask her for it later.

(Empress: Heh. Keep dreaming, you wishful fool.)

When the Lin family’s turn came to offer their gift, everyone’s eyes quietly shifted toward Lin Mo.

Minister Lin and his family’s gifts all looked fairly proper—except for one particularly eye-catching item among them: a large, jet-black chicken.

“Your Majesty the Empress,” said Minister Lin, bowing. “This phoenix was personally carved by this humble minister. I hope it pleases Your Majesty.”

Lin Mo stared at the black chicken—no, the “phoenix”—and the more she looked, the more she liked it. At first, she thought it looked a little… off. But over time, it had really grown on her.

All in all, her “phoenix” wasn’t the kind that dazzled people at first glance—but it was definitely the kind that was pleasing the more you looked at it.

Bai Xiao: Your black chicken really stands out among all these gifts!

And not just any chicken—it was so black and so plump. No one even knew what kind of pigment had been used. The color was so deep that nothing could cover it up.

They had even tried to paint over it with colorful shades afterward, but no matter what they did, the black always showed through.

Looking at the black chicken, the Empress forced a smile. “Not bad, not bad. Young Lord Lin’s craftsmanship is exquisite. I like it very much.”

The Empress truly deserved to be the Empress—her expression management was flawless. She looked so genuinely happy, as if the chicken truly delighted her heart.

The Crown Prince and the two princes were full of admiration for their mother’s performance.

As expected of Mother. Truly the mother of the nation. If it were us, we’d never be this calm.

In truth, the Empress was giving herself constant pep talks.

Stay calm, stay calm. It’s just a black chicken. It’s carved from jade, after all—worth some money at least!

After that little bit of self-convincing, her smile became even more sincere.

Seeing the Empress’s warm smile, Lin Mo was practically bursting with pride.

Lin Mo (to Bai Xiao): Didn’t I tell you the Empress would love my phoenix? Bai Xiao, you just don’t understand women as well as I do. Admit it—you lost this one!

Bai Xiao had been convinced that the Empress would not like that black chicken, so they had made a bet—this month’s pocket money was on the line.

But now, looking at the Empress’s apparently sincere smile and the black chicken in her hands, Bai Xiao began to doubt himself.

Bai Xiao: That can’t be right… Does the Empress really have such a unique taste?

Empress (internally): This isn’t about taste! I’m smiling because it’s expensive!

The birthday banquet was incredibly lively. After all the gifts were presented, night fell—and the evening festivities were even grander.

Those with talent performed; those without simply drank. In this dynasty, banquets weren’t so strict. Whether it was the Emperor’s or the Empress’s birthday, by the end everyone was relaxed and having fun.

As long as no one caused trouble, anything went.

“This isn’t fair! Why can you all drink but I can’t? Who are you fooling with this fruit juice?”

Lin Mo was holding her cup, arguing righteously with her father.

She had assumed her cup was filled with wine, but it turned out to be juice! At the very least, couldn’t they have given her fruit wine?

Minister Lin let out a cold snort, sounding utterly unimpressed. “You don’t need anyone else to look down on you—you’re doing fine yourself. With your drinking capacity, you still dare to drink? Have you forgotten what happened last time you got drunk?”

This girl really had no self-awareness whatsoever. Where did her confidence even come from?

Lin Mo stiffened her neck and retorted, “People change, Father! You should look at me with new eyes. I’m not the same as I was before. That was ages ago! My tolerance now is amazing! I could even outdrink Bai Xiao!”

Bai Xiao, who was stuffing his face beside them: …Excuse me, why am I even being compared here? I just turned into a human recently! Of course, I can’t drink!

Minister Lin was left speechless by her shameless boasting. He glanced at Bai Xiao—whose mouth was full—and then turned away, unable to bear looking at either of them.

Neither of these two are reliable.

Just then, Eunuch Li approached with a wine pot in hand.

“Minister Lin, Young Lord Lin,” he said with a bow, “this is a special wine Her Majesty the Empress personally brewed for Young Lord Lin. It’s a floral wine—not strong at all. Her Majesty knows the young lady can’t hold her liquor, so she had me bring this over especially.”

Hearing that, Lin Mo beamed. “Then please thank the Empress for me! My father won’t let me drink, but now he has no excuse!”

Bai Xiao curiously leaned in for a sniff—it really did smell quite lovely.

Minister Lin sighed, too tired to argue anymore.

He just hoped the wine truly wasn’t strong. If his daughter made a drunken scene at the Empress’s birthday banquet, he didn’t even want to imagine what would happen.

“Oh my, oh my! She’s drinking it already!” The Empress watched Lin Mo like she was watching a comedy show. “Do you think she’ll get drunk?”

Emperor Xuande was just as focused. “She will. You’ve no idea how entertaining she gets when she’s drunk.”

The Empress frowned slightly. “This wine isn’t strong, right? I remember your brew being deceptively potent.”

“It really isn’t,” she said. “It’s a light floral wine—something for young ladies. Surely she can handle this much.”

As it turned out, Lin Mo’s alcohol tolerance had improved. At least this time, she didn’t go on a drunken rampage.

Instead, she had a poetry frenzy.

“Dad, I wrote a poem! Listen to this:

‘Big night sky, big bright moon,
My dad’s big head shines like a balloon.
Hahaha—what does it look like, you say?
A watermelon, big and round all day!’”

“Dad, your head looks like a big watermelon!”

Minister Lin: …

Madam Lin beside him was already laughing herself silly.

Those who were secretly watching nearby were about to burst, too—they had never seen anyone compose poetry like this before.

When her father didn’t respond, Lin Mo leaned forward and pushed him playfully. “Hey, Watermelon Dad, why aren’t you saying anything? You’re supposed to praise me!”

Bai Xiao, tipsy and giggling nearby, chimed in, “Praise you? You just called him a watermelon! He should be hitting you, not praising you! Uncle Lin, hit her!”