The night before departure, at Villa No. 1 in Jinshui Bay.
Yu Xian was sprawled across a six-figure genuine leather sofa, his expression solemn as he carefully polished the pitch-black “Dragon-Subduing Whip” with a piece of deerskin over and over again.
The focused look on his face made it seem as though he were maintaining some legendary divine sword.
Su Wanyi held an S-rank variety show contract in her hands, took a deep breath, and cautiously began:
“Xiao Yu, there’s this show called Wild Life. They’re offering five hundred thousand per episode. But they’ll be filming in a primitive forest — no bathrooms, barely any civilization. Maybe we should… decline it?”
“Mhm, decline it.”
Yu Xian didn’t even lift his eyelids. His answer was immediate and decisive.
“I reincarnated to slack off, not to become neighbors with monkeys. Five hundred thousand? Who are they trying to fool?”
Su Wanyi sighed regretfully.
“What a pity. I just heard from Yang Wei that deep inside that primitive forest there’s a place called Moon Pool. It’s the only forbidden fishing zone in the country — nobody’s allowed anywhere near it.”
“They say there’s a hundred-year-old ‘Golden Grass Carp’ living in the pool. At least one hundred and fifty pounds! The pulling force is so strong it could drag an entire car into the water as bait!”
“Hiss—!”
A very clear gasp sounded.
Yu Xian’s hand froze mid-polish.
One hundred and fifty pounds?!
Golden grass carp?!
Strong enough to drag a car?!
He suddenly raised his head. Those dead-fish eyes instantly ignited with eerie flames, locking onto Su Wanyi’s face.
The nearly pathological fanaticism in his gaze even made Su Wanyi feel uneasy.
But outwardly, he still maintained the calm demeanor of a master.
“Wanyi, your thinking is shallow.”
He slowly stood up and walked toward Su Qian, speaking with grave sincerity.
“I, Yu Xian, am not the kind of man who would travel thousands of miles for some mere hundred-pound fish.”
“I’m worried about Qianqian’s future! Kids nowadays live too comfortably. They don’t work with their hands, can’t distinguish the five grains, and are losing their primal fighting spirit!”
“As a father, it is my duty to let her experience the cruelty of nature and temper her will into steel! Whether it’s five hundred thousand or not is irrelevant. Education is what truly matters!”
Before he even finished speaking, he snatched the contract and pen.
Scratch! Scratch! Scratch!
The two bold characters “Yu Xian” exploded across the paper like dragons dancing in flight.
After signing, he stuffed the contract back into Su Wanyi’s arms and strode away, his back grand and heroic like a mountain.
Su Wanyi stared at his “I shall descend into hell for the children” expression and twitched violently at the corners of her mouth.
If she hadn’t seen him secretly pulling out his phone and searching “What hook size is best for hundred-pound monster fish?” the instant he turned around, she might actually have believed him.
Three days later, southwestern borderlands. Primitive rainforest.
The livestream for Wild Life had already surpassed thirty million viewers. The barrage comments were so dense the screen was almost unreadable.
“Tough-guy Li Hao is still fighting that coconut! Quick, what’s Master Yu doing? Meditating?”
On screen, all the other guests were scrambling around searching for food and water in utter misery.
Only Yu Xian sat atop a large stone by the stream, holding the “Dragon-Subduing Whip” with an expression so solemn he looked like an immortal about to ascend to heaven.
He had maintained that exact posture…
For three straight hours.
Without moving an inch.
Like a statue.
“Uncle Yu… did the float move yet?” Su Qian squatted beside him, whispering softly like a mosquito.
“Silence.”
Yu Xian’s eyes remained half-closed, his voice full of grandmaster dignity.
“This is a psychological battle between a top-tier angler and the king of this stream. The water may appear calm on the surface, but beneath lies deadly danger! That cunning monster is testing my patience with its own!”
The livestream audience instantly exploded with excitement.
【Holy crap! Look at that aura! That presence! Master Yu definitely sensed a nuclear-submarine-level monster under the water!】
【That composure! Those eyes! As expected of the hardcore godfather who drove a watering truck across a river! Mount Tai could collapse before him and he wouldn’t even blink!】
But only Yu Xian himself knew the truth.
Forget a monster fish — not even a shrimp had touched the hook!
Were all the fish in this river cultivating immortality or something?!
“Tch. Troublesome.”
Immortal Yu finally couldn’t sit still anymore.
He slowly reeled in the rod. To maintain his image as a loving father teaching life lessons, he snorted coldly toward Su Qian and the camera.
“Qianqian, watch carefully. This is life. Sometimes you give one hundred percent effort and focus, and still end up with nothing.”
“Remember this feeling. This ‘getting skunked’ is an advanced realm of life. It smooths away your sharp edges and teaches you to let go of gains and losses.”
Su Qian nodded vaguely, not fully understanding.
Uncle Yu is so philosophical.
Yu Xian darkened his face and walked to the stream bank, planning to dig for worms at least so they’d have something extra for dinner.
He casually slammed an entrenching shovel into the dirt, trying to pry aside a rock.
CLANG!
A crisp metallic sound rang out, numbing his tiger’s mouth.
Yu Xian froze.
Using the shovel, he brushed away the wet soil.
A rusty iron box engraved with complicated patterns appeared before the camera.
Under the gaze of thirty million viewers holding their breath…
He opened the box.
The next second, the livestream servers crashed.
Blinding golden light burst out from inside!
The box contained dozens of perfectly preserved Republic-era Yuan Datou gold coins, along with an emerald dragon-pattern jade pendant so exquisite it was obviously priceless!
“Holy crap! He dug up treasure?!”
Director Zhang, watching backstage, jumped three feet into the air and nearly flipped over the monitors.
The tough-guy contestant Li Hao and actress Lin Feifei rushed over after hearing the commotion. Their eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at the sight of the glittering treasure.
But the center of everyone’s attention — Yu Xian himself — stared at the box of gold coins and suddenly let out a heart-wrenching howl like his father had just died.
“Again?! THIS AGAIN?!”
“I wanted fish! Fish, damn it! I would’ve accepted even a tiny little minnow! What the hell am I supposed to do with this pile of scrap metal?! Can it be braised? Can it be steamed?!”
Furious, he grabbed a handful of gold coins and smashed them back onto the ground before collapsing onto the rock with hollow eyes and utter despair.
“Skunked again… another complete skunk…”
“Am I, Yu Xian, cursed for life to remain a fisherman who never catches fish?!”
After three seconds of silence, the livestream exploded.
【HAHAHAHA! “Pile of scrap metal”? I’d trade ten years of my lifespan for this kind of bad luck!】
【Master Yu’s mentality has collapsed: I wanted one fish, but the universe handed me a mountain of treasure. What cruel fate!】
【This is the absolute ceiling of flexing! Please, let me get skunked just once! I don’t even want the gold — just give me that jade pendant!】
Su Qian hurriedly stuffed the gold coins and jade into her pockets while comforting him in a childish voice:
“Don’t be sad, Uncle Yu. Even though we didn’t catch fish, we can trade this to the production crew for a big roast chicken!”
“No trade!”
Yu Xian stubbornly roared, neck stiff.
“That is the greatest insult imaginable to a fisherman’s dignity!”
Half an hour later.
An overwhelmingly rich aroma of roasted meat drifted through the entire campsite.
Yu Xian stood by the grill with a gloomy face, turning over not fish, but two wild mountain chickens that he had knocked unconscious from afar using the “Dragon-Subduing Whip.” They were roasted golden-brown, sizzling with oil.
“Uncle Yu, this chicken smells amazing,” Su Qian said happily, her mouth full of grease.
“Shut up and eat.”
Yu Xian viciously bit into a chicken leg, his eyes filled with the loneliness of a master fisherman.
“Remember this. This is called neglecting one’s true profession. It’s the beginning of corruption! A true fisherman would rather starve to death, die of thirst, or jump off a cliff than feel even a shred of happiness over a piece of chicken!”
…It really was delicious.
Just as Yu Xian was drowning in both the sorrow of being skunked and the deliciousness of grilled chicken—
A shrill scream suddenly echoed from deep within the forest.
“AHHHH—! HELP! SNAKE! THERE’S A SNAKE!!”
Yu Xian shot to his feet instantly, still clutching the “Dragon-Subduing Whip” that had failed to catch a single fish. All the rage from getting skunked suddenly found a target.
Terrifying killing intent burst from his eyes.
“Why the hell are you screaming?! Can’t you see I’m reviewing why I got skunked?!”
“Where’s the snake?! If I can’t catch fish today, I’ll catch you instead, you long worm!”
Before his words even finished, his figure blurred and shot toward the scream like lightning.
At the other side of camp, tough-guy Li Hao and the cameraman had already gone pale with terror.
A massive black snake as thick as an adult’s arm had raised itself high off the ground. Its triangular head swayed menacingly as it hissed at the collapsed Lin Feifei.
“King cobra!!” Li Hao’s scalp went numb, his voice trembling.
“Don’t move! Absolutely don’t move! It’s a protected species — highly venomous! One bite and even gods can’t save you!”
Every viewer in the livestream held their breath.
And right at that critical moment—
A black shadow burst from the forest like a ghost, completely ignoring Li Hao’s warning and charging straight at the king cobra!
SHIIING—!
A shrill tearing sound split the air!
The “Dragon-Subduing Whip,” mocked across the entire internet, carved a viciously precise arc through the air and struck directly toward the snake’s vital point with unbelievable accuracy!
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