EMHTC -Chapter 25 Hiss! Marquis Ji’an gave birth to nine sons, one after another…

Such drama demands a live audience!

As they reached the gates of Marquis Ji’an’s residence, Xu Yanmiao’s eyes widened, practically bulging out: 【Wait, wait, wait…】

【Who’s so malicious as to summon the head monk of Yulong Temple?!】

The Emperor: “….” What’s malicious about it? He thought indignantly. I simply want my loyal subject Marquis Ji’an to die knowing the truth. How could that be wrong?

When the doors swung open, the scene inside was jaw-dropping.

The entourages of the two Marquis households stood sharply divided, each side bolstered by hulking guards ready to fight. In the center, Marquis Ji’an was shouting curses at the top of his lungs: “You wretch! When did this start?!”

The noblewoman’s hair was disheveled, and her clothes hung loosely, clearly hastily put on. She retorted with equal sharpness, “Since the first time you broke your promise.”

Marquis Ji’an did some mental math…

—Thank goodness!

At least his eldest son was still his!

Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts: 【Wow! Does this mean all nine sons belong to someone else?!】

Marquis Ji’an: “…..???”

Marquis Ji’an: “!!!”

Marquis Ji’an nearly choked on his own rage: “You deceived me! My first concubine came three years after we wed, and our eldest son was born in the second year of our marriage. How could he not be my child?!”

The noblewoman sneered, “Oh, I thought you were asking about my lovers, but you mean my clients? Of course, since you were cheating on me, I cheated right back.”

Marquis Ji’an: “……” He staggered. “Wait… you mean… not just one? Are you saying all nine children have different fathers…?”

The civil and military officials in the room collectively gave him sympathetic looks.

Marquis Ji’an could hardly process it, but someone crueler forced him to face reality.

【Wow, incredible! Marquis Ji’an has nine sons, each from a different father!】

The officials: “Pfft…”

The Emperor: coughs “….”

Not that they wanted to laugh—it was just impossible to hold it in with Xu Yanmiao’s running commentary.

Marquis Ji’an turned red, then green, then white, and finally purple: “You’ve gone too far!”

Xu Yanmiao’s mind: 【Huh? What did he just say? Why is he suddenly so mad?】

Nearby, the Crown Prince, also snacking on the drama, shook his head: “Marquis Ji’an is too short-tempered.”

Indeed, unable to lash out at Xu Yanmiao, he could only rage impotently at his wife.

Marquis Ji’an pointed at the noblewoman and bellowed, “This is your fault! After childbirth, you couldn’t serve me, so I graciously took in one of your maids. I’ve been more than fair to you!”

The noblewoman wouldn’t back down, firing back like a string of firecrackers: “Hah! You couldn’t last a single incense stick’s time! Limp as noodles! Those concubines of yours still have to flatter you and pretend you’re great. Watching them makes me pity them. Don’t tell me you believed their words?!”

Marquis Ji’an’s face went from red to blue, to white, then purple again: “You—you—you… nonsense!”

【To be fair,】 Xu Yanmiao mused, 【an incense stick’s worth of time is enough for Marquis Ji’an to manage three rounds. She’s being awfully kind here!】

Marquis Ji’an: “Enough!!!” Lies! It’s two rounds at most!!!

The noblewoman’s burly brother stepped forward, his face dark: “You made an agreement. You broke it by taking in concubines. How dare you blame my sister! If she didn’t stop us, we’d have broken your legs long ago!”

Marquis Ji’an, from his well of anger, found a faint touch of bittersweet relief. At least his wife had defended him from her unreasonable brothers. Surely, she still cared for him.

Xu Yanmiao’s mind offered a somber confirmation.

【Oh, absolutely. She thinks you’re rare—a fool, easy to manipulate, and handsome to boot. Might as well keep you around.】

“Hahahahahaha—”

Some of the officials couldn’t hold it any longer. Many of them had suffered from Marquis Ji’an’s incessant bragging about his sons, often enduring veiled mockery of their own family situations. Now, they laughed so heartily they could barely stand straight.

【She’s right. When some noblewomen married later, they lamented not acting fast enough to snag someone foolish, gullible, and good-looking.】

The laughter cut off abruptly.

Silence.

“W-wife…”

A terrifying thought occurred to the officials: Wait… is Xu Yanmiao talking about MY wife?!

Meanwhile, the noblewoman’s brother continued ranting, “My sister is an incredible woman! A little headstrong, yes, but she’s pure at heart! She even lets those kids call you their father! Who else is going to perform the burial rites at your funeral? You’ve already gotten away with so much!”

“You—you—” Marquis Ji’an’s hand trembled violently, too enraged to speak.

His colleagues recovered faster than he did. Compared to baseless suspicions about their own marriages, there was more satisfaction in mocking this humiliated man in front of them.

One after another, they pretended Marquis Ji’an was deaf, speaking louder for effect.

“Impressive. Just wow. Imagine fathering nine sons without lifting a finger.”

“Hiss! He’s worn this green hat for nearly thirty years—since he was a teenager! Incredible!”

“I didn’t expect this, I really didn’t expect this!”

“I just remembered! My wife has seen the Marquis Ji’an’s wife at Yulong Temple more than once!”

“Huh? Then doesn’t that mean your wife also frequents Yulong Temple?” The question came from one of the officials who had accompanied the Emperor to the temple days ago. The official who volunteered this information about his wife looked confused. “Yeah, so what? Yulong Temple is famous for its prayers for children being very effective…”

The questioning official gave him a sympathetic look.

It wasn’t just this outspoken official who felt a chill run down his spine—many of the officials who hadn’t gone to the temple two days earlier felt a sudden pang of dread.

And then, they heard Xu Yanmiao’s shameless commentary:

【The monks at Yulong Temple are all so handsome, sweet-talking, and skilled in… bedroom techniques. Of course noblewomen and official wives are drawn to them—it’s completely normal!】

【Haha, no wonder the temple is so effective at granting children! These monks have even ranked themselves based on their “fertility effectiveness,” and the more likely they are to help someone conceive, the higher their service fees. Hahaha!】

【Oh, and they’re clever, too! They deliberately approach strong-willed noblewomen, especially those with wealth and power equal to their husbands. Once these women get a taste of their service, they won’t expose the monks—instead, they’ll return for more and even protect them if the secret comes out.】

This time, many of the officials staggered in their seats.

What?! Eating gossip only to realize the scandal might involve them was too much!

They couldn’t help but imagine their own wives in Xu Yanmiao’s scenarios. In that moment, every man felt like an invisible green hat had landed squarely on his head.

A deathly silence fell over the room.

Well, almost silent.

The Crown Prince glanced left, then right, and couldn’t hold back: “Wow…”

His exclamation jolted many back to reality. Even the Emperor glared at him. “What are you chiming in for?!”

But the Crown Prince didn’t regret it.

Because…

It really was thrilling!

【Holy crap! The Minister of Justice!】

The Minister of Justice cursed under his breath. The others turned sympathetic eyes toward him.

Of all people, he was the first to be implicated—how unlucky could he get? But after a moment of pity, curiosity took over.

What about the Minister of Justice? Could it be a scandal about a lonely wife sneaking around with a handsome monk?!—They weren’t in trouble (yet), so they might as well enjoy someone else’s misfortune! Hurry up, spill the tea!

【Turns out, the Minister of Justice has been secretly keeping a pair of mistresses—sisters!】

The officials were immediately disappointed.

What? That’s it? That’s hardly…

【Oh, but the sisters are the younger siblings of a monk at Yulong Temple. They told the monks that the Minister of Justice is terrible in bed—painful, clumsy, and over far too quickly.】

【Just like Marquis Ji’an!】

The Minister of Justice: “!!!”

How dare they?! Not true! His whole family isn’t like that!

He wasn’t like Marquis Ji’an at all! His mistresses always said he was so vigorous they couldn’t get out of bed for half a day afterward!

【The monks knew this, so while the Minister secretly visited his mistresses, they sent their most skilled and handsome monk to secretly seduce his wife while she was praying at the temple.】

【And then? Hahaha, wow—】

And then what?!

Some officials stared eagerly, while others licked their lips in anticipation. Was this about using his exposed infidelity as leverage?

Once again, they breathed a collective sigh of relief. “Thank goodness this has nothing to do with us.”

The Minister of Justice, however, couldn’t muster a smile. He clenched his jaw tightly as memories flooded back.

His wife used to be domineering, jealous, and fiercely opposed to him taking concubines. Once, when he dallied with a maid in broad daylight, she stormed in with a massive blade, chasing the two of them—still half-naked—through the courtyard.

That’s why he kept the sisters outside the household. But recently, his wife had stopped monitoring him. She seemed to have mellowed out overnight.

Just the other day, he had tentatively mentioned taking a concubine. His wife had calmly replied, “I understand. You like gentle, attentive women who flatter you. That kind of person is indeed wonderful.”

He had assumed she’d finally learned the virtues of a dutiful wife.

But now!

【Oh, it must have been love at first sight—gentle attentiveness is irresistible! She’s been thoroughly satisfied and even asked to try someone wilder next time!】

【And can you blame her? You’re short on time and lacking in skill. If you can seek satisfaction outside, why can’t she?】

【And those monks really know how to set the mood—sweet talk, delicate touches, even using only their hands, tongues, or sterilized tools like polished jade rods, all while bathing and burning incense beforehand. Who wouldn’t enjoy that?】

The Minister of Justice’s eyes nearly popped out of his head.

Me!

I wouldn’t enjoy that!!!