EMHTC -Chapter 26 Get lost! Chatting is not cheating…

The Crown Prince paced over, patted the Minister of Justice on the shoulder, and said, “My condolences?”

After all, he’d heard that the Minister’s wife had married beneath her station. She was strong-willed, not one to be bullied, and doted on by her family. The Minister of Justice had no choice but to swallow this bitter pill.

Tsk, tsk. No wonder Xu Yanmiao was so impressed—these monks really knew how to pick their clients.

【And there’s more! The wife didn’t just go herself; she even recommended it to her closest friends, who then recommended it to their friends, and so on.】

【I’m dying! So that’s how the temple’s reputation spread by word of mouth!】

Only a few could still laugh at this point—mostly Xu Yanmiao. Several ministers, however, began to recall that their wives were friends with the Minister’s wife—or friends of her friends—or friends of her friend’s friends…

Xu Yanmiao continued flipping through gossip, then suddenly had an epiphany.

【Yulong Temple… Hahaha, I get it now. Yulong! Hahaha! What a ‘Yulong’ Temple indeed!】

“Pfft—cough, cough, cough—”

The old emperor choked on his tea, coughing uncontrollably.

Yulong…

His face twisted in discomfort.

No! I don’t want to understand this!

The court erupted in uproar.

“This…”

“How could it be that kind of ‘Yulong’…?” “This is disgraceful! Absolutely disgraceful!”

“This temple must be shut down immediately! I’ll submit a memorial to His Majesty as soon as I return!”

Officials with loving relationships didn’t worry about their wives’ fidelity, but those who were cold or unfaithful themselves—or who were less than skilled in certain areas—turned green with anxiety. They frantically racked their brains, trying to recall whether there had been any clues suggesting their wives’ loyalty was questionable.

But they didn’t dare voice their suspicions. After all, many of their fathers-in-law were also present in court, glaring at them with an air that said, If any of you dare slander my precious daughter, I’ll crush you first.

Meanwhile, the Minister of Justice was trapped. His wife’s father and brothers surrounded him.

“Son-in-law, don’t worry. No matter what she does outside, we’ll always see you as our one and only son-in-law!”

“Brother-in-law, women are playful by nature. As long as you take care of the household, she’ll come around eventually.”

The Minister of Justice fumed inwardly. Nonsense! Why don’t you let your wives go out and ‘play,’ then?!

Every word they said mirrored things he or his parents had told his wife in the past. But seeing their imposing official robes and their authority outweighing his, he had no choice but to bow and say, “Indeed. My wife… she’s still young…”

“Hahahahahaha—”

A burst of laughter rang out.

Everyone instinctively thought: Was that Xu Yanmiao laughing?

Their second thought: Oh no! How do we cover this up? Should we claim he ate poisonous mushrooms and hallucinated?

But upon closer inspection, it wasn’t Xu Yanmiao. It was Marquis Ji’an.

The old emperor blurted, “Finally, someone’s been driven mad?”

The ministers: “…”

Your Majesty, why do you sound so entertained?

The emperor cleared his throat. “Why are you all staring at me?”

To enjoy the spectacle, of course!

After his laughter, Marquis Ji’an pointed angrily at a beautiful woman, his voice sharp and fierce. “Just wait! Especially you, vile monk! Your indecent deeds at this vile temple are known to His Majesty and the court. Your temple will be shut down, and you corrupt monks will be sent to do hard labor!”

The beautiful woman’s expression shifted subtly, but she said nothing.

At that moment, the handsome abbot of Yulong Temple appeared.

He first greeted the emperor. As he bowed, his flawless physique caught everyone’s attention. The men in the court had complicated expressions—equal parts shock, admiration, and begrudging disdain that barely masked their jealousy.

Only Xu Yanmiao was unashamedly gushing:

【Wow! Look at that physique. No wonder he’s in this line of work! He must train every day—so professional!】

The ministers’ emotions surged: Traitor!!!

Meanwhile, in a corner of the hall, several noblewomen, drawn by the commotion, stared unblinkingly at the abbot, reluctant to look away. Some who had never visited Yulong Temple before were filled with indignation.

This kind of amazing place! Why didn’t anyone tell me about it? Do I look like I can’t afford it?!

The culture of Da Xia, influenced by the Hu people, was open and liberal. The concept of female chastity was generally not emphasized. Historical records like the Zhou Chronicles even described empress dowagers bored with palace life selecting handsome and talented male companions—several times, in fact.

One of the most shocking cases involved Empress Dowager Ling, who openly summoned officials into her chambers and even castrated handsome young men to serve in the palace. When her son, Emperor Jing, grew dissatisfied with her behavior, he conspired with court officials to execute her male companions. In retaliation, she poisoned him to death.

Such scandals involving dowagers, concubines, and court officials, or even princesses with male companions, were so common that they no longer shocked society.

It wasn’t until the middle to late periods of the dynasty that this trend subsided somewhat.

But the newly founded Daxia Dynasty, only 32 years into its reign, was still heavily influenced by the previous dynasty. While such behaviors were no longer open, it wasn’t uncommon for noblewomen to keep male companions in secret.

Yulong Temple had capitalized on this “business opportunity.”

The handsome abbot stepped forward to face Marquis Ji’an. Seeing the Marquis’s murderous glare—and the eight sons and several male relatives standing behind him—the abbot carefully weighed the odds. Calmly, he stepped back two or three paces, then another three or four, before speaking.

“Your Grace, what do you mean by calling this a vile temple and slandering us?”

He subtly straightened his chest. “Our Yulong Temple is nothing like what you claim! Our monks are merely handsome and strong, skilled in music and dance, physically fit, and empathetic. That’s all!”

Seeing the clear interest on the faces of the surrounding madams, the abbot contentedly withdrew his gaze and turned to righteously glare at the Marquis of Ji’an. “Your Grace! Though you may be of noble rank and we are but humble monks, we cannot allow you to slander us so!”

He spoke with conviction, “We are merely too compassionate and kind-hearted. Seeing the furrowed brows of madams who come here to offer incense, we help alleviate their worries and troubles, nothing more!” The cloudless sky and radiant sunlight reflected off his cleanly shaven head, nearly blinding the Marquis of Ji’an. Even so, Xu Yanmiao could vouch for him.

【What he says… isn’t entirely wrong. Many of the noble ladies who come to Jade Dragon Temple are indeed looking for someone to lend a sympathetic ear… or perhaps a sympathetic shoulder.】

Several officials whose faces had already turned green thought: Do we look like we’re happy about this? So what? Just talking doesn’t count as cheating now? Who exactly is involved—someone, tell us! We want to know!

The unbothered officials discreetly glanced toward Xu Yanmiao as well.

We… we want to hear it!

The Marquis of Ji’an didn’t want to hear it!!!

The Marquis snapped.

“Beat them! Beat this pair of adulterers!”

The noblewoman’s clan seemed to be low on male offspring, with only a sparse few relatives present. Meanwhile, the Marquis of Ji’an had brought thirteen sturdy men. Seeing the imbalance in numbers, tension escalated.

—There were also bodyguards on both sides, but their strength appeared evenly matched. The Marquis’ eight sons, however, looked visibly torn, hesitant to act—after all, the woman in question was their mother!

Xu Yanmiao curiously wondered, 【Why are these eight fools just standing there? The Marquis isn’t even their biological father.】

The eight “fools”: Oh!

Suddenly enlightened, they thundered across the scene like a herd of iron bulls, running over to stand protectively in front of their mother and glaring furiously at the Marquis. 【Very good,】 Xu Yanmiao commented thoughtfully. 【The bloodline is questionable, and now the offense-defense dynamic has shifted.】

The emperor and his officials: “…”

At this point, shouting for a fight might have seemed too undignified. The Crown Prince slapped his thigh and exclaimed, “Hey! Why is no one acting yet?”

The emperor coughed, “Ahem!”

The Crown Prince continued, “Ah, they’re fighting now! Wow, they’re really going at it! But why are only the bodyguards fighting? What about the main participants? Shouldn’t they do something too? Or are they planning to hide behind soldiers on the battlefield as well?”

The emperor coughed louder, “Ahem, ahem!”

【They’re probably afraid, considering it’s ten versus five now.】

The emperor: “Cough-cough-cough!”

The Crown Prince: “Look at that guard! He’s using ‘Monkey Steals the Peach!’ That’s outrageous! The man on the receiving end looks so young—what if he can’t have children after this? That’d be tragic… Oh! That eye-poke counterattack was vicious! Ah! But he dodged it!”

The emperor began hacking violently, “Cough-cough-cough-cough!”

Xu Yanmiao perked up: 【‘Monkey Steals the Peach’? Where? Where?!】

The emperor, now nearly choking: “Cough-cough-cough-cough!”

The Crown Prince, about to point: “It’s right—”

“Cough-cough-cough-cough-cough!”

The emperor’s tuberculosis-like coughing finally caught the attention of the onlookers. Both the Crown Prince and Xu Yanmiao turned their heads. The Crown Prince hesitated for a moment before reluctantly pulling a handful of melon seeds from his sleeve and offering them. “Want some?”

The emperor glared.

Is this what I’m trying to say?

Taking the seeds anyway, the emperor cracked one open. “Ptui!” Spitting out the shell, he began critiquing the fight. “They’re not fighting nearly as well as I did in my day. Look at that one in gray—if I were in his position, I would…”

—

The Marquis of Ji’an roared angrily, “You bastards! Do you think I’ll fear you just because you’ve brought eight illegitimate brats?!”

“Attack—”

Something felt off. He turned his head and looked around.

Huh???

Where is everyone? Why is the area around him so empty?

Turning back, he saw that the brothers and cousins he had brought had all quietly stepped back, leaving a wide circle around him. The Marquis’ face turned dark. “What are you doing?! Attack!”

The brothers and cousins exchanged glances, then silently stepped back a few more paces.

Are you joking? There are way too many strong men on the other side!

The Marquis turned to his eldest brother, the only one who hadn’t moved, and cried out in dismay, “Big Brother! You’re my real brother!”

His eldest brother replied coldly, “Yes, I’m your real brother—not an idiot willing to die for you.”