YWTGU -Chapter 4 What Kind of Smart Person Does the Dirty Work Themselves?!

After the court was dismissed, the bustle inside the Golden Throne Hall had only just faded.

But the harem immediately fell into unrest.

Inside Cining Palace, the Empress Dowager sat upon her resplendent golden throne, her face dark with fury.

In her hand was a delicate blue-and-white porcelain teacup. She hurled it viciously to the ground. The fragments scattered in all directions, just like her exploding anger.

“Preposterous! Absolutely preposterous!”

Dressed in bright and luxurious robes, meticulously maintained despite her years, the Empress Dowager’s dignified face was now filled with sharp severity.

After dismissing the male attendants at her sides, she no longer concealed her temper. Pointing directly at Zhao Ling’er standing before her, she angrily rebuked:

“Zhao Ling’er! You enchantress! I allowed you to temporarily assume the throne so you could safeguard Great Qi’s realm for your imperial brother—not so you could treat our ancestral foundation as a joke! Look at the so-called top scholar you selected! Publicly insulting the ruler and the entire court—that is a crime punishable by extermination of nine clans! Not only did you spare him, you even named him the top scholar?”

The more she spoke, the more agitated she became. The wrinkles she had painstakingly smoothed out twisted back together as she scolded mercilessly:

“And that absurd scheme of selling official posts! You actually approved it? Once word spreads, where will Great Qi’s dignity be? When your imperial brother returns from cultivating in Zhongnan Mountain, this throne must be returned to him! What kind of mess will you expect him to inherit then?”

Faced with such thunderous rage, Zhao Ling’er did not respond with her usual meek submission and apologies.

Instead, in her mind echoed Li An’s impassioned reading yesterday in court of his Petition Urging His Majesty to Surrender. Those shocking and audacious words had somehow given her the courage and confidence to calmly face the Empress Dowager’s fury.

“Mother Empress, have you forgotten something?”

Zhao Ling’er smiled as she adjusted the sleeve of her dragon robe, then flicked it sharply and let out a cold snort. “Back then, it was you and the Imperial Uncle who forced me into this dragon robe, making me impersonate my imperial brother, Zhao Xuanji, so you could control the court. I never wanted this throne in the first place.”

“You—”

The Empress Dowager choked on her words, staring wide-eyed. She had not expected the normally obedient Zhao Ling’er to dare speak to her like this.

But Zhao Ling’er stepped forward instead, her gaze blazing.

“And another thing—my imperial brother has been cultivating in Zhongnan Mountain for three years now. In those three years, not a single message. Is he alive or dead? Or has he already turned to dust? Do you truly know, Mother Empress? Can he even return?”

“Insolence! You dare curse your brother!” the Empress Dowager snapped, her face pale with rage.

“I am not cursing him. I am stating facts.”

Zhao Ling’er straightened her back, lifting her chin slightly. A glimmer shone in her eyes as she finally spoke without restraint:

“If Great Qi did not have this ‘Emperor’ sitting on the throne, could you still be the Empress Dowager? Could you still stabilize the realm? It would have collapsed long ago!”

At this, she took a deep breath. The image of that seemingly rebellious yet truly loyal figure in court flashed through her mind. A faintly proud smile curved her lips.

“As for Li An, I think his proposal is excellent. Look at this entire court—who among them does not harbor ulterior motives? Who is not merely occupying a position without contributing anything? If they are all useless parasites anyway, we might as well sell the offices! At least the nouveau riche fools will pay. At least we can raise military funds to relieve the frontier!”

“This is using poison to fight poison!”

Zhao Ling’er smiled smugly.

The Empress Dowager trembled in fury, pointing at her for a long while without managing to say a word.

She had never imagined that this female-bodied “puppet emperor,” whom she had always kept firmly in hand, would dare defy her so openly today.

“Fine… fine! Then deal with the consequences yourself!”

Grinding her teeth, she could only storm off, sleeves flung behind her. “If Great Qi’s ancestral foundation perishes in your hands, let’s see how you face the imperial ancestors in the afterlife!”

Watching the Empress Dowager’s furious retreating figure, Zhao Ling’er felt that the suffocating resentment she had borne for three years had finally dispersed by more than half.

Exhilarating! Truly exhilarating!

Since being forced onto the throne, this was the first time she had felt such satisfaction.

She turned around and let out a long breath.

Looking toward the endless palace walls outside—stretching like a prison—her eyes reflected the image of a wild and unrestrained figure. Smiling faintly, she murmured:

“Li An, oh Li An… you truly are a fine blade in my hand. I hope you’ll bring me even more surprises.”

…

Meanwhile, outside the palace gates—

The civil and military officials dispersed in small groups. Yet the true core of power, after court had ended, quietly gathered together with unspoken understanding.

Ordinarily, the court was a tangled mess of factions.

Prime Minister Wang Fu represented the traditional civil officials. Grand Commandant Sun Qian represented the military nobility. And Imperial Uncle Liu served as leader of the imperial relatives. On normal days, these factions fought viciously to divide Great Qi’s interests—each wishing to devour the other whole.

But today, because of Li An’s absurd “sell-offices” proposal, the major forces felt, for the first time, a shared threat.

If Li An truly managed to sell the posts, and the court became filled with nouveau riche who bought their way in, where would that leave the noble clans’ dignity? Where would they place their disciples and protégés?

Thus, after court, a strange “united front” rapidly formed.

“Gentlemen, that brat may be arrogant, but the wager of two million taels has indeed been set.”

Prime Minister Wang Fu stroked his beard, a sinister gleam in his eyes. “If he truly raises the silver, we’ll not only have to pay one million taels—we may also lose our voice in court entirely.”

“Your Excellency need not worry,” Grand Commandant Sun Qian sneered. “Once I return, I’ll make arrangements. By tomorrow morning, rumors will spread throughout the capital. We’ll say that selling offices was merely a joke from His Majesty—never meant to be taken seriously. Anyone foolish enough to pay silver will be like throwing meat buns at a dog—gone forever.”

“Not only that,” a representative of one of the noble families added darkly. “We’ll also spread word that the Six Ministries and Nine Courts have already reached a consensus: any official who buys his post will be deemed a ‘base official.’ Once inside, he’ll never be promoted, and will be ostracized at every turn! Let them pay money only to suffer!”

“All of you are merely scratching an itch through your boots—minor tricks at best.”

The previously silent Imperial Uncle Liu finally spoke with a sinister chuckle.

His slightly murky yet ruthless old eyes narrowed. “I have a plan that will ensure Li An can never recover.”

The others immediately leaned in with interest. “What insight does Your Grace have?”

Liu De smiled coldly. “He wants to sell offices? Fine. The moment he opens for business, I’ll send one of my household servants to buy a post—not too big, not too small.”

“And then?”

“And then? Hahaha…”

Liu De laughed loudly. “I’ll have that servant cry everywhere that the purchased office is useless—not only bullied by colleagues, but unable to recoup his investment, and constantly at risk of dismissal and punishment! With a living example in front of them, who would dare waste money on such a foolish venture?”

Hearing this, the others were momentarily stunned. Then they collectively drew sharp breaths—and soon burst into applause and praise.

“Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant!”

“His Excellency the Imperial Uncle’s move is like pulling the firewood from beneath the cauldron—simply masterful!”

“With this, forget ten days—even if you gave him a hundred, he wouldn’t be able to sell more than a handful of official posts! Trying to scrape together two million taels of silver? Pure wishful thinking!”

Several old foxes exchanged knowing smiles, as if they could already see the once-arrogant Li An kneeling in the Golden Hall ten days later, kowtowing and begging for mercy before being dragged out without pity and beheaded.

…

Meanwhile, the so-called “dead man walking” in the mouths of the ministers—Li An—was currently reclining comfortably on a grand armchair in his own residence.

But he wasn’t idle.

The deadly maid who also happened to be his superior from the Blackwater Terrace, Hongmei, was sitting stiffly with her beautiful and delicate face set in seriousness. Holding brush, ink, paper, and inkstone, she was making him faithfully recount everything that had happened in court.

“…That’s about it. None of the civil and military officials had a clue what to do. The prime minister—that scheming bastard—wanted to shove the job onto me. Then I thought about it—well! Wasn’t that like someone handing me a pillow just when I was feeling sleepy? So I didn’t stand on ceremony. After refusing once, I made a wager with them: sell official posts for ten days and raise two million taels of silver…”

Li An sipped his tea leisurely and spread his hands helplessly. “They forced me into this! So don’t blame me for thoroughly wrecking Great Qi’s court…”

As he spoke, he sneaked a glance at the system panel only he could see—

【National Fortune System】

【Current Great Qi National Fortune Value: 87,956】

【Current Cycle Identity: Northern Yan Undercover Agent (Sabotage Great Qi’s national fortune)】

【National Fortune Change This Cycle: -44】

【Estimated Settlement Reward: 4,400 taels of gold】

【Time Remaining: 28 days】

Four thousand four hundred taels of gold!

Even though this was only the beginning, the number already made Li An beam with delight.

And this was just the warm-up!

Once the plan to sell official posts was fully implemented and Great Qi’s court was thrown into chaos by incompetent upstarts, wouldn’t the national fortune plummet?

When that happened… hehe…

Hongmei’s brush flew across the paper, recording every word Li An said.

When he finished, she paused—but instead of putting the booklet away, she took out another densely written dossier from her robes and began comparing the two line by line in front of him.

Li An’s eyes widened, his eyelids twitching.

The other record was clearly intelligence reports sent back by other Blackwater Terrace agents planted in the palace!

Hah! And not just one version?

It even recorded precisely how many times he blinked at specific moments in court.

After a while, Hongmei nodded in satisfaction, put away the dossier, and revealed a meaningful yet pleased smile.

“Very good, Lone Wolf. You didn’t conceal anything. It seems you’re a smart man—you understand the consequences of deceiving the organization. The organization also has great trust in you…”

Li An let out a dry laugh.

Trust? This was naked intimidation and a warning!

This beautiful, venomous vixen was telling him: Don’t think becoming the top scholar frees you from control. Every move you make is under Blackwater Terrace’s watchful eyes!

“Since we’re done with court matters, let’s talk about your next plan.”

Hongmei wiped the faint sheen of sweat from her forehead, set down her brush, and resumed her cold, elegant demeanor—though a trace of admiration flickered in her eyes.

“I must say, your proposal to sell official posts is excellent. If successfully carried out, it will completely collapse Great Qi’s administrative system and rot it from the roots. Those above are very satisfied with your first piece of advice in Great Qi’s court.”

“So, what do you need?”

As she spoke, she leaned forward slightly, her faint fragrance once again drifting to Li An’s nose.

“These ten days are crucial. How do you plan to sell the posts? What preparations will you make? Blackwater Terrace still has quite a few hidden operatives and financial resources in the capital. If necessary, I can apply to mobilize them to fully cooperate with you.”

In Hongmei’s view, selling official posts and raising two million taels within ten days—while also undermining Great Qi’s political foundation—would be a tough battle.

Those old foxes in court would certainly join forces to obstruct him. If Li An wanted to break through, he would need thunderous measures—perhaps even the Blackwater Terrace secretly using intimidation and bribery to secure the first batch of buyers.

However, upon hearing this, Li An merely shrugged confidently.

Then he shifted into an even more comfortable position, slumping into the chair. He casually grabbed a grape, tossed it into his mouth, and spoke vaguely as he chewed:

“Cooperation? Mobilize resources?”

He waved his hand dismissively.

“We’re selling official posts to make money, not going to war. Why make such a big fuss?”

“Hongmei, remember this. The most profitable businesses in the world are never about begging others to buy.”

“Besides, I never planned to go shouting about it in the streets myself.”

Hongmei frowned. “Then who do you plan to send? That’s two million taels! How many posts would you need to sell? You only have ten days! If you don’t go around promoting it, will the money grow legs and walk into the treasury on its own? Li An! Don’t be arrogant! This isn’t child’s play…”

“Run around? How exhausting. I’ve only got two legs. Even if I ran them off, how many places could I cover?”

Stretching lazily, Li An stood up with a yawn, leaving Hongmei with a carefree, languid silhouette as he ambled slowly toward his bedchamber.

“Relax. No need for Blackwater Terrace’s support this time. I’ll let you see what real money-making looks like.”

“A truly top-tier wealth-harvesting scheme is one where people fight to hand you their money.”

“And for this kind of dirty, exhausting work—what smart person would do it themselves?!”

Hongmei opened her mouth to say something more, but Li An didn’t even turn around. He merely waved a hand dismissively.

“As for what I’m going to do? Of course I’m going to get a good night’s sleep and recharge.”

“Oh right! There’s one very important thing I need your cooperation on. Tonight, you’re not allowed to use the chamber pot in the room anymore, got it…”

Hongmei: “…”