TFWYH – Chapter 868 Refreshes My Worldview

The Emperor raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? Tell me the details.”

Come on now, make up a good story.

I’ve been bored to death every day. It’s rare to get such an entertaining storyteller.

Poor Ling Cangshun thought he had actually convinced the Emperor and immediately began fabricating his tale.

“Ling Yu was born in Huanshan Village. It was the second year after Jiang Shi married my second brother. He was born on the seventh day of the eighth lunar month in the Year of Renxu. Since he was weak and sickly from childhood, Jiang Shi consulted a fortune-teller, and together they decided to change his birth date and Eight Characters.”

The Emperor stroked his beard.

“So according to you, Ling Yu should be eighteen years old this year, not twenty-one?”

“Yes, yes!” Ling Cangshun nodded vigorously.

“He’s my nephew. There’s no way I’d remember it wrong.”

“Nonsense! That’s a pack of lies!” Xu Xi cried out indignantly. “Your Majesty, my younger brother-in-law has been a thief and scoundrel since childhood. He stole chickens, stole dogs—even pigs weren’t spared! You absolutely mustn’t believe a word he says!”

The moment he heard her mention pigs, Ling Cangshun became both furious and embarrassed, exploding like a dog whose tail had been stepped on.

That incident was the one memory he least wanted to revisit.

Yet this wretched woman had deliberately brought it up.

The real Jiang Shi was timid. Ling Cangshun had assumed that if he shouted loudly enough, she’d stop talking.

But this Jiang Shi was not the real Jiang Shi.

Xu Xi wasn’t afraid of him in the slightest.

Instead of stopping, she twisted the knife even deeper.

“Your Majesty, every word I speak is true. My younger brother-in-law was originally a scholar preparing for the imperial examinations. The reason both his legs became crippled and he was thrown out of the examination hall was because he… committed indecent acts… with a pig. Not only does everyone in Huanshan Village know about it—even the Prefect of Weng City knows. How can such a man’s testimony possibly be trusted?”

Committed indecent acts… with a pig?

Dear heavens…

The civil and military officials were utterly thunderstruck.

They all stared at Ling Cangshun as though he were some kind of monster.

Th-this…

What a legend!

Not only were the officials stunned—even Gu Hengcang was dumbfounded.

He had never imagined that the witness he had painstakingly found would have… such an unusual… preference.

“Jiang Shi, you bitch! I’ll kill you!” Ling Cangshun roared, his eyes bloodshot as he struggled to get up and attack her.

But he was crippled.

There was no way he could stand.

All he could do was glare at her viciously with bloodshot eyes.

Xu Xi blushed with both embarrassment and anger, looking at him as though he were something filthy.

“You dared to do it, yet you’re afraid of people talking about it? I swear before Heaven that every word I’ve said is true. If I’m lying, may I be struck dead by lightning. Do you dare swear the same?”

Ancient people regarded oaths as sacred.

Naturally, Ling Cangshun didn’t dare.

All he could do was keep shouting,

“Lies! You wretched woman!”

Compared to him, the righteous and indignant “Jiang Shi” was obviously far more convincing.

The gathered officials were speechless.

What the hell is this…

Gu Hengcang silently covered his face.

How utterly humiliating.

At that moment, Ling Cangshun truly came to hate Jiang Shi.

Even if Gu Hengcang hadn’t promised him a thousand taels of gold, he still wouldn’t have wanted to let her off.

Giving up on arguing with Jiang Shi, he turned toward the Emperor.

“Your Majesty, this poisonous woman is spouting complete nonsense. You absolutely cannot trust her words!”

The Emperor fell silent.

Meanwhile, the little version of himself inside was laughing so hard he was about to split his sides.

Oh, Gu Hengcang…

You’ve really outdone yourself this time.

To deceive Me, you actually found someone who… slept with a pig… to be your witness.

Hahahaha…

Every year brings strange things, but this year truly takes the prize.

Still… how exactly does that even work between a person and a pig?

If I weren’t trying to maintain the dignity of an emperor, I’d almost want someone to bring in a pig and let Ling Cangshun reenact it on the spot, just so I could broaden my horizons.

Gu Hengcang knew that this witness was finished.

Fortunately…

He still had another witness.