TSWPF – Chapter 23 Collapse

As soon as she heard those words, Li Qingling went pale and staggered; she would have fallen if Liu Zhimou hadn’t grabbed her in time.

Life and death in an instant…

Li Qingling steadied herself and then ran straight for home. When she reached the doorway she heard her younger brother Li Qingfeng crying.

“Qingling’s back! Hurry in and see Mother one last time!”

Her steps grew heavy; it felt like she took a century to reach the room.

The moment she entered, the choking stench of blood hit her. When she looked more closely she saw Madam Zhao lying on the bed as white as paper, and beside her a small, red, wrinkled newborn.

Tears burst from her eyes. “Mother…” she cried, throwing herself to the bedside and clutching Madam Zhao’s cold hand, choking on her sobs.

“Huang—Qingling’s back, Qingling’s back.” Aunt Huang wiped the tears from her eyes and shook Madam Zhao.

This family was already struggling; if Madam Zhao died, only a few children would be left — how could they possibly live?

Madam Zhao opened her eyes a little and, seeing Li Qingling’s tear-streaked face, forced a weak smile. “You’re back? Daughter… your mother can’t go on. This… this family… it’s… it’s up to you now…” Her child was still so small; she couldn’t rest easy, but she couldn’t hold on any longer. If not for one last glance at her daughter, she would already have gone.

“Mother, you’ll get better.” Li Qingling clutched Madam Zhao’s hand and stood to get a cup of water.

She had spirit water — it should save her mother.

But Madam Zhao held her back, not letting her go. “Listen… listen to your mother. I… I can’t hold on.” She drew a deep breath and weakly turned her head toward the premature baby; tears began to fall. “This… this is your… your little sister. Whether… whether she can grow up depends on her fate.” The baby was barely clinging to life — nobody could tell if she would live.

Li Qingling could see that Madam Zhao was holding on to her last breath. She sank down again and knelt, listening to her mother’s final words.

“I’ll raise her. Don’t worry.” This child had been born at such cost — no matter what, she would raise her sister.

Madam Zhao’s face softened into a grateful smile. She looked at the tear-red eyes of Li Qingfeng. “Qingfeng, from now on… from now on… listen to your sister, alright?”

“Mother…” Li Qingfeng cried, “Don’t leave me, I’ll be obedient—sob…”

If she could, Madam Zhao wouldn’t leave her children; she wanted to watch them grow, marry, and have children — but it wasn’t possible.

“Promise… promise me…” she gasped.

“I will listen to my sister,” Li Qingfeng nodded.

Closing her eyes briefly, Madam Zhao drew another breath — she was nearly spent, but she hadn’t finished yet. “Zhimou…”

Standing at the doorway, Liu Zhimou, eyes red, came forward. “Auntie…” He looked at Madam Zhao as if he were remembering the moment his own parents left him; it hurt him deeply.

“Zhimou…” Madam Zhao lifted her hand weakly. Liu Zhimou hurried to take it. She placed his hand together with Li Qingling’s. “Qing…ling…from now on… from now on I leave… I leave her… to you. Don’t… don’t fail her…”

He nodded heavily. “I will never fail her in my life.”

Madam Zhao pulled at the corner of her mouth with difficulty, lingeringly looking at her three children. At last, the last breath she’d been forcing out could no longer hold.

Her hand fell heavily, her eyes closed.

“Mother…”

“Mother…”

Li Qingling and Li Qingfeng cried out in pain. Even the newborn seemed to sense her mother was gone and began to wail.

Everyone in the courtyard had red-rimmed eyes; partings like this were the hardest to bear.

Fifth Grandmother wiped her eyes. Since there were no coffin or burial clothes prepared, she told her daughter-in-law to go home and fetch what she had prepared.

She also sent the village chief to Old Li’s house to notify them.

The village chief sent someone; not long after, they returned saying Old Li’s house was shut tight and no one answered.

“What wickedness! How can someone’s heart be so black?” Fifth Grandmother stamped her foot angrily. “Tell the villagers to help us get the funeral ready!”

The village chief nodded and ordered it done.

When the daughter-in-law brought the burial clothes, Fifth Grandmother went in and patted Li Qingling’s shoulder. “Good child, stop crying for now. Help your mother change — let her go in peace.”

Li Qingling took a breath, wiped her tears dry, and handed the wailing, hoarse-voiced baby to Liu Zhimou. “Take care of her for me.”

Liu Zhimou nodded and gently rocked the baby.

Fifth Grandmother had the others step out and left only Li Qingling and Aunt Huang; the three of them dressed Madam Zhao in her burial clothes.

Li Qingling stared at Madam Zhao seriously, as if she wanted to etch her mother’s face into her memory. “Mother, you’ve finally met Father, haven’t you?” She smoothed the sweat-damp hair on Madam Zhao’s head. “You be happy with Father. I’ll raise my brother and sister. Don’t worry.”

No matter how hard life became, she would raise her siblings to adulthood and watch them marry and have children.

The funeral was arranged by the villagers; not one person from Old Li’s household showed up.

Li Qingling was physically and mentally exhausted; she stood with swollen, red eyes and watched as Madam Zhao’s grave was covered with clods of yellow earth. She held back, then let the tears fall again.

A person dies and all that’s left is a mound of dirt.

After the tombstone was set, the villagers said a few words to comfort the siblings and then went down the mountain, sighing and pitying them — losing both parents, these children would have a hard life.

Li Qingfeng knelt, clutching Li Qingling’s hand, choking out, “Sister, we’ve even lost Mother now.” They would never see her again.

She reached over and rubbed his head. Her voice was hoarse. “Mother just went to find Father. She’s reunited with him.” She glanced at the little sister who’d cried herself to sleep. “From now on, your sister and I will stay with you.”

Li Qingfeng wiped his tears and nodded, saying he’d grow up and protect his sister and their little sister.

He was the only boy in the family, the household’s pillar; he vowed to grow quickly and protect them.

After burning the last of the paper money, Li Qingling helped Li Qingfeng to his feet and looked at Madam Zhao’s tombstone. “Mother, you didn’t have time to name your little one. I’ll name her Li Qingning. May you live in peace.” Then she took the small thing Liu Zhimou held and held her close. “Mother, we’ll come see you again.”

She knelt and bowed once more, then walked to Li Laigui’s grave and bowed again.

Only then did she take Li Qingfeng down the mountain.

Back home, she put some water in a bowl and secretly added a bit of spirit water, feeding it to Li Qingning.

The baby seemed to know her mother was gone and didn’t fuss; she opened her mouth and drank obediently.

When the baby finished, Li Qingling put her in her room and let her sleep on the kang. Then she came out, took Li Qingfeng’s hand, and asked in a serious voice why their mother had given birth prematurely — what had actually happened.

They’d been busy with the funeral and only now had time to ask Li Qingfeng. From what she’d heard, the matter had something to do with Old Li’s household; she needed Li Qingfeng to tell her the specifics.

Thinking of Madam Zhao, Li Qingfeng’s eyes reddened again. He threw himself into Li Qingling’s arms, sobbing. “The day before yesterday, Zhiyan, Zhirou and I went to feed the little rabbits. I heard arguing from home and rushed back. I saw Aunt Li push Mother to the ground. Aunt Li and Grandma were carrying off our grain.” At the image of their mother collapsed and bleeding he shuddered with guilt. “If only I… if I had been home, Mother… she wouldn’t have…” He blamed himself for not being there.

Li Qingling’s hands trembled as she patted his head. “It’s not your fault. Even if you’d been home, you couldn’t have fought them off.” She didn’t want him to carry any shadow in his heart. “Don’t blame yourself.”

From Li Qingfeng’s account, she pieced together the truth: Liu’s family and Lin’s family had come to steal their grain. Madam Zhao refused to let them, blocking their way. In anger they pushed her down, causing the premature birth; Mother bled heavily and died.

Li Qingling drew herself up and took a deep breath. She gently pushed Li Qingfeng back and told him to watch the baby at home while she went out.

She stood, grabbed a kitchen knife, and strode out the door.

Li Qingfeng panicked and chased after her for a moment, then thinking of the baby, stomped back to their room, picked up Li Qingning, and ran to Liu Zhimou’s house crying for help.

Hearing Li Qingfeng’s voice, Liu Zhimou jumped out of bed and opened the door to find Li Qingfeng panting and frantic. “What happened? Is your sister hurt?”

“Brother Zhimou, my sister ran out with a knife. I think she’s going to Old Li’s. Please stop her — don’t let her do something stupid.” Killing someone would cost her her life; he didn’t want to lose his sister after already losing his parents.

Liu Zhimou was frantic. “You go inside and stay with Zhiyan and the others. Take care of little Qingning. I’ll go see.” Saying that, he took off running.

Li Qingling, red-eyed and clutching the knife, ran toward Old Li’s house. Some villagers saw her and followed, and someone ran to fetch the village chief.

She gritted her teeth, arrived at Old Li’s closed courtyard gate, and heard voices inside.

Biting her lip, she struck the gate with the knife and shouted, “Liu Chunhua, Lin Cuilan, come out! You killed my mother and you still walk around free? Don’t think you can get away with it.”

She swore she would skin them alive if she had to.

“I know you’re in there. Come out now.” Li Qingling kicked at the gate, and hammered at the wooden boards with the knife. After a moment there was a pile of splinters on the ground.