TSWRLM -Chapter 5 This Life Is Impossible to Live

Clinging to someone powerful wasn’t something that could be rushed.

Exhausted, Chun Xi hastily washed up and went straight to sleep.

It wasn’t until the next day that she told Madam Wang and her sister-in-law about the spring outing.

Her sister-in-law was timid. Upon hearing that Wei Lingze had stabbed Ye Er with a sword, she immediately clutched her chest. “The young master has such a terrible temper. Little sister, these past three years in the Wei family must have been really hard for you.”

“The young master was only worried someone would sow discord and ruin the marriage,” Madam Wang retorted, then shot Chun Xi a reproachful look. “And you—you should’ve stayed home instead of running around. Now what if the young master misunderstands you as betraying him?”

Although Chun Xi explained that it was Young Master Ye who had forcibly taken her along, in Madam Wang’s eyes, the moment she stepped out of the house, she was already in the wrong.

Moreover, she had even said in front of Wei Lingze that she wanted to get married—wasn’t that cutting off her own path of retreat?

Madam Wang strongly disapproved of Chun Xi’s actions.

Chun Xi didn’t argue, only said, “The misunderstanding has already happened. I don’t know what trouble it may bring in the future. Mother, it would be better if you marry me off as soon as possible.”

This was the second time Chun Xi brought up marriage, and Madam Wang began to waver.

Chun Xi was already nearly nineteen. Before, when she rarely came home while working at the Wei household, the neighbors didn’t say much. But now that she had regained her free status, if they didn’t find her a husband soon, people would start saying their family was living off their daughter.

But Madam Qian was about to give birth, which meant more expenses. She would also need time to recover, and after Chun Xi got married, she wouldn’t be able to support the family financially as before. Life would become even tighter.

More importantly, most of the money Chun Xi had brought home over the years had already been spent. What if Chun Xi asked for a dowry?

And this girl no longer seemed to have her mother in her eyes.

Thinking of this, Madam Wang’s face hardened as she scolded, “A young girl talking about marriage all day—aren’t you afraid people will laugh at you?”

Sensing the tension, Madam Qian quickly changed the subject and asked Chun Xi how she had gotten home.

Chun Xi didn’t mention hitching a ride. She lied, saying she had rushed back before curfew but fainted from hunger on the way, which was why she only arrived home in the middle of the night.

Simple-minded, Madam Qian comforted her a few times and didn’t ask further.

After lunch, Chun Xi asked about the bolts of cloth and silk that the Wei family had previously sent over. Madam Wang immediately became alert. “I’ve already put those things away. Why are you asking?”

Although those items had been given to Chun Xi by Madam Wei, once they were brought home, they became family property. As the mother, Madam Wang believed she had absolute authority over them.

Madam Wang’s defensiveness was exactly what Chun Xi had expected. She didn’t care much about the cloth anyway—after all, she still had a one-thousand-tael banknote on her.

“I found a buyer willing to pay twice the market price for these fabrics. We could get nearly a thousand taels.”

“They’re worth that much?” Madam Wang’s eyes widened, then her face filled with suspicion. “You’re not being scammed, are you? Who would be such a fool to pay double?”

Why wouldn’t there be?

They were even eager to do it.

Ye Er had only given a verbal promise, so she needed to strike while the iron was hot.

Chun Xi persuaded Madam Wang and prepared to deliver the cloth to the Ye family. But while counting, she discovered that two bolts were missing.

“These things have been kept in my room the whole time. How could anything be missing? You must have remembered wrong.”

“One bolt was dark blue, the other lake green. Both were Shu brocade. The Wei family has records of them. Do you want me to report this to the authorities before you remember?”

Seeing Chun Xi’s firm attitude, Madam Wang knew she couldn’t hide it anymore. She shot Chun Xi an annoyed glance and said, “They were in my room. There are no outsiders in this house. If two bolts are missing, of course I gave them away. Why are you making such a fuss?”

“After Father died, our relatives stopped visiting. Who did you give them to?”

“Your sister-in-law’s mother came yesterday with eggs to visit her. When she heard you got many fine things from the Wei family, I gave her two bolts.”

After Chun Xi’s father died, Madam Wang felt inferior without a husband and often tried to keep up appearances. Back when arranging the marriage, she had already paid a hefty price, and afterward she frequently had her daughter-in-law support her natal family to maintain face.

Chun Xi thought of how Madam Wang would begrudge her even eating two extra buns, yet now casually gave away fine Shu brocade. Her heart couldn’t help but turn cold.

Moreover, when Chun Xi hadn’t returned all night, Madam Wang hadn’t reported her missing to the authorities, nor had she stayed up worrying. Even after learning the truth, she only blamed Chun Xi for going out, without a single word of concern.

Madam Wang felt uncomfortable under Chun Xi’s cold gaze and stiffly defended herself, “All these years you weren’t home, and the family relied a lot on your in-laws for help. Besides, your sister-in-law is about to give birth to your brother’s child. Since we’ve received so much cloth, giving them two bolts is only right. When you get married, won’t you think of your natal family too?”

By the end, Madam Wang sounded more confident.

She wanted Madam Qian to support her natal family as an example, so that Chun Xi would do the same in the future—bringing things back from her husband’s family.

“Mother, do you know what kind of life your daughter has lived these past three years? I haven’t had a single full night’s sleep. Even Madam Wei knows I’ve suffered and gave me compensation. But you? When you gave those things away, did you think of me at all?”

“How could I not think of you? I advised you to plan ahead, told you to stay close to the young master. If you had listened, would you be arguing with me over two bolts of cloth now? Everyone knows you’ve been serving people—handling their filth and urine—in the Wei household. Who would still want to marry you?”

Madam Wang didn’t dare admit she didn’t love her daughter, so she shifted all the blame onto Chun Xi.

Madam Qian, listening nearby, was terrified. She stepped forward and held Chun Xi’s hand. “Don’t be angry with Mother. It’s all my fault. I’ll go back later and get those two bolts back.”

Madam Qian had once cared for her bedridden grandmother for a time, even with others helping, it had been exhausting. Chun Xi had borne it alone for three years—who knew how much she had suffered?

Her eyes reddened with sympathy.

But when Chun Xi heard Madam Wang’s last sentence, all her anger suddenly dissipated, replaced by an eerie calm.

For three years, she had worked day and night, bringing nearly all her earnings home. Yet her mother felt no pity for her and even looked down on her like everyone else.

Because she had done such degrading work in the Wei household, no respectable family would marry her. So she was expected to lower herself, to climb into someone’s bed, to shamelessly cling to Wei Lingze and become his concubine.

So in the end, she was the real fool.

Chun Xi found it laughable—and indeed let out a laugh.

She didn’t take it out on her sister-in-law, only said calmly, “What’s given away can’t be taken back. Mother is right—it was I who was being petty.”

After saying that, she withdrew her hand and looked at Madam Wang. “Since these fabrics were brought home, how they’re handled is up to you. Sooner or later, I’ll become an outsider. I won’t interfere anymore.”

Madam Wang had no way to find a buyer willing to pay double the price, but seeing Chun Xi’s cold expression, as if treating her like an enemy, she couldn’t bring herself to apologize. Instead, she snapped angrily, “I think you’re just making things up to cause trouble. What buyer? You just think everything you brought back belongs only to you, and no one else can touch it. Fine—I won’t interfere. When you get married, just take it all as your dowry!”

Chun Xi’s expression didn’t change. “Sure. As long as someone comes to propose, I’ll leave immediately with these things.”

Madam Wang: “…”

This life really couldn’t go on anymore.