TPW – Chapter 47

Looking at lively, darting Little White, then at listless Bubble… the little guy suddenly stood up, picked up the basin, and carried it inside to blow an electric fan for the two little fish.

Click—he pressed the power button: “Are you guys feeling a little hot? Let’s turn on the fan, it won’t be hot anymore, it’ll be nice and cool. Once it’s cooler, try to move around, okay? Don’t make me worry.”

Because of what Tian Jianzhong had said, the little guy suddenly realized something seemed off with Bubble. It wasn’t lively anymore, didn’t like to move, and its belly was getting rounder and rounder, almost like it was pregnant… but they were both male fish…

So could it be that Bubble was sick?

Around ten o’clock, the couple returned home. Qiao An came up holding the washbasin: “Mom, did Bubble really eat too much?”

Qiao Lu and her husband were walking fast, and almost knocked the basin over. After steadying herself, she looked into the basin and saw the little fish with the red belly.

Qiao Lu reached in and poked it. Little White was very active, but Bubble didn’t react at all—sluggish to the point of looking half-dead. It used to love blowing bubbles, but hadn’t done that much these past few days.

She wasn’t a vet and had no idea what was going on with Bubble.

“Maybe it did eat too much. Look how fat it is.”

“Then I’ll feed it less from now on.”

Qiao An started closely monitoring the little goldfish every day, serving it like a noble guest.

Before, Bubble would eat however much feed was given. Now it barely ate, even when food was right in front of it.

Qiao An asked his little friends, and they said maybe the fish was sick of feed and wanted to eat grass. There’s lots of grass in the river, it probably missed food from its hometown.

So he plucked a handful of weeds from under the loquat tree and tossed them into the enamel basin.

“Why aren’t you eating? Is it not tasty?” But if you don’t eat, you’ll be hungry. Being hungry is uncomfortable.

Qiao An fretted, and after thinking it over, fed it a bit of raw rice. It didn’t eat. Then he broke off two corn kernels—still no interest. Finally, with no options left, he tossed in a small piece of pork. It was cooked. Meat is so tasty—it had to eat that, right?

But… still no reaction. Not only that, it started turning belly-up again.

Qiao Lu, seeing this, was exasperated and amused. She fished out the mess and changed the water again. “An’an, Bubble and Little White can only eat fish feed. They can’t eat other stuff.”

Qiao An scratched his head anxiously: “Then… then what do we do if Bubble won’t eat feed now?”

“It won’t eat? Then maybe it’ll eat when it gets hungry. You probably fed it too much before—it can’t handle it now.” Qiao Lu didn’t take it too seriously. She had work to do and couldn’t focus all her attention on the goldfish.

“Okay then. Bubble, you’ll have to go hungry for a bit. Once you’re hungry, you’ll eat.”

He sat distractedly in front of the fish, even during meals glancing over to see if Bubble moved.

“Mom, is Bubble unhappy?”

“I don’t know, sweetie. Let’s keep an eye on it. If it’s still like this tomorrow, we’ll take it to see the fish seller and check if it’s sick.”

“Okay.”

The next morning, after getting up and washing up, Qiao An went to feed Little White and Bubble.

“Mom! We’re out of fish feed!”

“Out of feed again?” Hiss—my good son, you’re a bit heavy-handed, aren’t you? Didn’t we just buy more not long ago?

“Yeah!”

“That fast? Don’t feed so much all at once.” At first, Qiao Lu helped him feed the fish, but gradually got busy and left it all to her son.

“Mhm! I’m only feeding Little White now. Not Bubble.”

“Alright then. Mommy will buy some more when I go out to the market later.”

“Don’t forget!”

“I won’t.”

The weather was a bit stuffy today. The noon sun was like melted malt sugar, making people sweat sticky all over.

Qiao Lu returned on her bicycle from the pet market. At the courtyard gate, she got off and lifted the bike over the threshold, then slowly pushed it toward the inner yard.

“Qiao Lu, where’ve you two been? Your son’s in there crying!” Tian Jianzhong pointed toward the Xu family’s small room, speechless.

“What? An’an’s crying? Why?” Qiao Lu slowed her steps and hadn’t even had time to ask before—a small, tear-streaked figure came running toward her and crashed straight into her.

She looked down and came face to face with a tear-stained little face.

“What happened? Your eyes are all red—trying to look like a rabbit?” She thought, You didn’t miss me after just a short while, right? No… Qiao An had outgrown that clingy phase.

The little guy didn’t react to the joke at all. He was so sad he couldn’t speak, lips pale and trembling.

Seeing he didn’t respond, Qiao Lu held his little hand—it was icy cold.

His whole body was soaking wet, not a patch of dry skin. His little shirt clung pitifully to his chubby body. Whether it was sweat or something else that soaked him, it wasn’t clear.

His eyes were swollen like walnuts, his mouth tightly pressed shut. When he saw Qiao Lu, he suddenly bit his lower lip, clearly trying not to cry.

What on earth had happened?

Qiao Lu quickly tossed the fish feed aside, crouched down to feel his face—it was burning hot.

She softened her voice: “What’s wrong, An’an? Did someone bully you?”

An’an was usually so obedient and well-behaved—who would bully him? Qiao Lu was sweating with worry.

“Mama, I… I…” He was so heartbroken he could barely speak. After trying for a while, he finally choked out a sob and the tears poured down.

“My Bubble… died… it died… Mama, Little White doesn’t have a friend anymore… it died… Mama… Mama—Mama—”

As he spoke, he broke into full-on wailing, utterly devastated.

“What!” Qiao Lu was shocked and stood up in a rush.

“How could this happen? Where is it now? Take Mommy to see.”

The little guy pointed shakily toward the bedroom, too heartbroken to walk straight.

Qiao Lu quickly scooped up her son and rushed inside.

On the dining table in the main room, in the little enamel basin, Little White was swimming in circles around Bubble, who floated belly-up and completely motionless on the surface. No matter how you poked it, it didn’t move at all.

It was really dead…

“Oh no…” Qiao Lu was at a loss.

“What happened? It was fine before… How could this be?”

She anxiously asked Qiao An: “Where’s Dad? Wasn’t he cooking in the kitchen when Mommy left?”

Qiao An rubbed his eyes and choked out: “Daddy… Daddy went to the bathroom. He told me to wait nicely. Then I scooped Bubble up, but it didn’t move. Yesterday it still wagged its tail, but today even its tail won’t move. Big Brother Tian said… Bubble is dead… Waaa—Bubble is dead—”

The mother and son waited for five minutes before Xu Haizhou finally returned from the public bathroom. Qiao Lu hurriedly pulled him inside.

“Our son’s heartbroken—Bubble died!”

Our son’s heartbroken, Bubble died—who exactly died?

Xu Haizhou stood dazed for a couple seconds, then rushed forward to check.

He placed Bubble in his palm and examined it. It wasn’t sleeping or playing dead—it really was dead. No doubt about it.

“A while back when Bubble’s belly got big—was that the reason?” Xu Haizhou analyzed calmly.

“It got big? I thought it was just overeating. And we didn’t feed it that much afterward.”

“Bubble didn’t eat. It had already been starving for days. It wasn’t too full—it was hungry…” Realizing something, the little guy cried even harder: “Bubble starved to death! Bubble starved to death—waaaa—”

Seeing her son cry like that, Qiao Lu’s heart broke into pieces.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry. Mommy will take you to the flower and bird market. Let’s go ask some experienced uncles there, okay?”

The family of three made their way to the flower and bird market and found the same shop owner who had sold them the fish last time. In a hurry, they handed Bubble over to him.

The shop owner casually poked around a bit, took a few glances, and immediately figured out the cause of death.

“This fish died from overeating—it got enteritis. Died from the illness.”

That one sentence was like sealing Bubble’s fate for good. Qiao An burst into even louder sobs, gasping for breath, crying so hard that even both hands couldn’t stifle the sound.

He snatched Bubble’s body from the owner’s hands and rubbed the little fish against his cheek. No matter how hard he rubbed, there was no response.

He kissed it, pecked at it, pressed his cheek against it. His tears dripped onto the little fish’s belly.

But Bubble was gone forever. It looked so peaceful in sleep, but it would never wag its tail in response to him again…

“It’s okay, even if this fish didn’t die now, it would’ve died in another six or seven years anyway. Don’t cry, kid,” the shop owner said carelessly.

That only made Qiao An cry even harder. Qiao Lu tried to calm him down in a flurry, but the more she tried, the harder he cried.

“Mama—Mama—I don’t want it—I don’t want it—I don’t want Bubble to die, Mama—”

He buried his face into Qiao Lu’s arms, crying as though he wanted to cough up his heart, liver, and lungs. His tears soaked the fabric on her abdomen, and the scalding heat made her heart ache.

Qiao Lu watched, anxious and pained, both heartbroken and helpless.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry. Mommy will buy you another little fish, okay? Two even. Then you’ll have three goldfish. How about that?”

Qiao An shook his head wildly and wailed, “No, no! I want Bubble, my Bubble! It’s my friend, Mama—”

Qiao Lu sighed in resignation and looked at Xu Haizhou.

The couple exchanged a glance. Xu Haizhou pointed at the market and said, “Let’s walk around a bit inside.”

The father carried the boy through a few rows of the flower and bird market. Qiao Lu pointed out pretty little fish, small turtles, birds, even marigolds.

It somewhat distracted the child. He wasn’t crying as fiercely, but tears still streamed silently down his cheeks as he sobbed.

“Do you like turtles? How about we get a turtle? These don’t die easily no matter how you care for them.” (This time, she would make sure to ask about the care instructions!)

“Mama, I don’t want it.” His voice was hoarse from crying.

“Why not? Bubble is gone, wouldn’t it be nice to have another companion?”

Qiao An hesitated for a long time, then still shook his head. More tears welled up. “Mama, I don’t want to raise Bubble or Little White ever again.”

Qiao Lu’s heart skipped a beat. She gently wiped his tears. “Why not? Didn’t you love them so much?”

With his eyes swollen like lightbulbs, Qiao An said, “Mama, they’ll still die…”

“They won’t. Now you know how to take care of them. If we feed them less and take them to the uncle here at the first sign of trouble, they’ll live a long time.”

“But the uncle said goldfish only live for six years. After six years, they’ll die.”

The little guy even understood what life span meant. Qiao Lu swore she’d never taught him that word.

Because he respected life, Qiao An didn’t want to see his beloved Bubble and Little White die again. So he chose to give up the hobby altogether—he’d rather go without than suffer the pain again.

Qiao Lu understood her son and gave up the idea of buying more turtles or fish.

On the way out of the flower and bird market, Qiao Lu held her son and comforted him, “It’s okay. All living things die—Bubble and Little White, Mommy, even An’an. We should accept that calmly.”

Qiao An was instantly frightened. He hugged her neck tightly and shouted, “I don’t want you to die!”

Children don’t really understand death. In their bright little world, everyone should live happily—especially their parents, who should live forever.

Qiao Lu sighed and patted his back to calm him. “It’ll be a long time from now. If nothing happens, Mommy will be with you for seventy or eighty more years.”

“I don’t want that—I want Mommy to live forever!”

Qiao Lu chuckled despite herself. “Silly child, no one can live forever.”

“Mama can,” he said very seriously.

Pfft—

“Mama’s not a fairy or a monster, so I can’t.”

“You can…” On this point, the little one was terrifyingly stubborn.

Qiao Lu brushed aside the hair stuck to his forehead and gently kissed his cheek. “Are you sad because Bubble died, or because you thought of Mommy dying?”

Qiao An’s expression dimmed. His mouth opened and closed: “I’m sad about both. I don’t want Bubble to die, and I really don’t want Mama to die…”

If Bubble died, he would be sad for a long time. But if Mama died… he’d be sad for a whole lifetime.

And a lifetime was so long—so long he couldn’t even see the end. A lifetime meant he’d grow up to be as tall and strong as Daddy. That’s a really, really long time.

Thinking that, he hugged Qiao Lu tightly and began crying again—this time silently, tears falling dryly.

Qiao Lu’s heart ached, twitching with pain. She fought the urge to cry herself. “Mama’s not going to die—it’s still early. Mama will be with you for a long, long time.”

“Then… then what if Mama does die? What will I do…”

That question made Qiao Lu want to cry.

Yeah. If she really died, what would An’an do?

If he were grown up, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. But if she died suddenly before he was even an adult… she couldn’t bear to think about it.

“No, don’t think like that, little man. It’s just a hypothetical—it’s not real. Let’s be optimistic. Isn’t life good right now?”

“I like it now. But I’m scared.” That’s why he didn’t want Mommy to die.

Children start forming a concept of death around age four. It’s important to guide them gently but accurately—otherwise, they can easily develop misunderstandings and potentially suffer lifelong emotional effects.

This wasn’t a joke.

Qiao Lu felt immense pressure, racking her brains for what to say next.

“Haizhou, let’s not cook today. Let’s eat out.”

“Alright.”

After saying this, the little guy didn’t react at all. Normally, he’d be jumping for joy. Today, he just stayed quiet, burying his face in Qiao Lu’s arms and wiping his tears.

The family of three left the flower and bird market and rode their bicycle to the state-run restaurant.

Qiao Lu held her son with one arm and wrapped the other around Xu Haizhou’s waist. She murmured, “It’s nothing to be afraid of. No one escapes death—we should face it head-on.”

“No matter how long the dream, there comes a time to wake up.”

“No matter how cold winter is, spring will always come.”

“When Mama’s gone, someone else will love you in my place.”

“No! No!” The tears that had finally been swallowed down burst out again. “Mama loves me the most—no one loves me more than Mama—waaah!”

“There will be others. Our An’an is such a great kid. So many people will love you.” Qiao Lu rubbed her eyes. She hadn’t expected to be moved to tears by her own son. “An’an, how about Mama tells you a story?”

The little guy didn’t say anything but nodded gently.

“Once upon a time, there was a cute little duck. One day, it met the God of Death. The little duck knew what the God of Death did—he would make things die. But the God of Death said, ‘I’ve been following you since the day you were born.’ He said, ‘I want to be your friend,’ and smiled kindly at the little duck.

The little duck was a bit scared, but when he saw the Death God smile, he thought maybe he wasn’t a bad guy after all. So he chose to become friends with him.

The next morning when the little duck woke up, he realized that the Death God hadn’t made him die. From then on, they became good friends—they talked, ate, and took walks together… Slowly, the little duck grew into a middle-aged duck, and eventually into an old duck. The Death God always stayed by his side, always his good friend, never once leaving him.

Then one day, the little duck died. The Death God gently smoothed the old duck’s feathers and carefully placed his old friend into the water, giving him a gentle push to send him on his way.”

“Mommy, where did the Death God send the old duck?” the little one sniffled and asked in a muffled voice.

Qiao Lu patted his back. “To the path of death.”

Qiao An whimpered sadly. “Why? Weren’t they good friends? Why did he have to send him to die?”

Qiao Lu sighed and explained, “Don’t you remember? The Death God said he had been following the little duck since the day it was born. One day, he would have to send it on its way. But during that time, we can be friends with him—until we can’t live anymore, then he’ll take us away.”

Qiao An’s eyes were still red, tears welling up again, but thankfully, he held them back.

“Then if I can keep living, will the Death God still take me away?”

“No, he won’t.”

“What about Mommy?”

“Mommy can keep living too. The Death God won’t take Mommy away for no reason.”

“Then when will he take you away?”

“That, I don’t know. But before he does, shouldn’t we happily be his friend? He wouldn’t hurt us for no reason, right?”

“Hmm… I think that makes sense.” He seemed to be listening and thinking carefully.

“So,” she continued, “didn’t the Death God say? ‘From the moment you’re born, I’m always by your side. But people don’t notice me. They’re scared of me, afraid to be my friend, and so they live their whole lives in fear.’ Life and death go hand in hand. Death is just a part of life, so we should face it calmly. Right, An’an?”

A teardrop clung to his nose, and as he nodded, it dropped softly into their shared embrace.

“Yeah… that’s right.”

“Then are you still sad?” Qiao Lu poked his red, tear-streaked cheek.

“I’m still sad…” But it seemed, just a little, that he’d been comforted.

“Even if Bubble didn’t die now, it would die eventually. But you’re still here, An’an. If you keep crying and won’t eat or sleep because of Bubble, Daddy and Mommy would be so sad. And Bubble wouldn’t want to see its little owner like this, right?”

“Mm…”

Seeing his expression finally begin to settle, Qiao Lu let out a breath of relief.

She stroked his head gently and said, “If one day Mommy is no longer here, even if you can’t see me or hear my voice, you’ll still feel me quietly staying with you in another room, still loving you.”

Qiao An’s eyes went wide in wonder. It seemed almost unbelievable.

“Mommy, are you dead or not?”

Up front, Xu Haizhou couldn’t hold back a chuckle. “An’an, that’s quite a question…”

A bit cute, and a bit funny.

At some point, the tears on Qiao An’s face had slowly dried. His wet lashes clumped together into thick strands, blinking gently.

Qiao Lu laughed and pinched his cheek. “Silly baby, what Mommy means is—I’ll become something else and stay by your side.”

His little mouth opened into a surprised “O” and he nodded earnestly, as if determined to remember her words forever.

Thanks to Qiao Lu’s gentle and subtle guidance, Qiao An was finally beginning to let go of the fear and helplessness brought by Bubble’s death.

“Mommy, if you die, you’ll become something else to stay with me too?”

“Yes. Mommy will become anything to stay with you. I’ll always be by your side.”

“Then… what will Mommy become?”

“What do you want Mommy to become?”

“I want… I want Mommy to become a blanket, so I can snuggle with you every night when I sleep.”

“Alright, then I’ll become a blanket. I’ll not only be with you, I’ll keep you warm too, okay?”

“Okay…”

Qiao An’s tear-filled eyes finally turned into crescent moons. The fear of death that had gripped him was slowly fading away.

The bad news of Bubble’s death was gradually forgotten by others. No one thought much of such a tiny goldfish.

But they didn’t realize—its disappearance left a deeply emotional mark on Qiao An’s heart.

Under Qiao Lu’s guidance, the family of three worked together to bury Bubble under the loquat tree in their courtyard.

As Qiao Lu put it, sitting under that tree would let them feel Bubble’s “spirit.” Bubble wasn’t truly gone—it had just taken on a new form to stay with them.

Whenever they missed it, they could sit under the tree. Bubble would feel their love.

Up in the sky, Bubble would be happy and content. It would say: “Thank you, old friend. Thank you for coming to see me.”

Afraid of triggering more sadness, they didn’t dare keep Little White either. With Qiao An’s agreement, Qiao Lu gave Little White to Qiao Yan.

After Little White left, Qiao An started having a bit of trouble sleeping. Late at night, he’d sit under the eaves watching the stars, refusing to go back inside.

“Mommy, can I sit a little longer? I haven’t found Bubble’s star yet.”

“But it’s really late now. Your little pillow misses you—it hasn’t seen you all day. It’s feeling sad and asking if you don’t like it anymore, why you haven’t come to find it.”

Qiao An opened his mouth and said, “Mommy, pillows aren’t people. They don’t get sad.”

Qiao Lu rubbed his head. “Son, don’t you know? Everything has a spirit.”

“What does that mean, Mommy?” His curiosity was piqued.

“It means…”

Taking advantage of a child’s natural animism—the belief that everything has life and human traits—Qiao Lu explained the pillow as a “spiritual being,” using a mix of humor and gentle coaxing. Unexpectedly, her little fib worked—he believed her and went back to the room to hug his pillow and sleep.

Sigh, children are better off being simple. So much easier to comfort.