SBCEJM -Chapter 67 If My Dad Were Half As Crazy As Him, I’d Already Be Lying Flat!

【Zhao Dequan, outside the household, has secretly raised a biological daughter!】

The system’s voice rang out like a hammer striking stone.

The entire court—whether officials secretly relieved their sons hadn’t married into the Zhao family, or those quietly pondering “the art of controlling husbands”—all perked up instantly.

What?!

An illegitimate daughter?

Countless gazes whooshed toward Minister of Revenue Zhao Dequan, filled with suspicion and curiosity.

So this old man really hid a concubine-born daughter in secret?

Feng Zexuan curled her lips into a cold smile.

【An illegitimate daughter? How boring. This kind of gossip is bland and not up to my standards.】

【No!】the system immediately corrected her, excitedly，【Host! Broaden your perspective! It’s not an illegitimate child—it’s his biological daughter with his wife Wen Shi!】

Feng Zexuan’s mind buzzed.

【What the hell?!】

【A biological daughter… raised outside… and his wife doesn’t know? What is this, an annual suspense drama?!】

【This story goes back fifteen years…】

【At that time, Madam Zhao Wen Shi, already forty, unexpectedly became pregnant. Zhao Dequan was overjoyed. But the imperial physician diagnosed the fetus as extremely weak—likely to miscarry, and even if born, would be a frail child who wouldn’t live long.】

【The couple couldn’t bear it and decided to take the risk anyway.】

【At that moment, Zhao Dequan met a wandering Taoist on the street who insisted on reading his fortune.】

【The Taoist spoke mysteriously, saying the child was destined, noble beyond measure—but because of a special fate, must not meet her family before age fifteen and had to be raised in isolation to survive.】

On the court floor, Chancellor Lin Zhengyan frowned tightly.

Superstitious nonsense! Ridiculous!

【When Wen Shi went into labor, she suffered massive hemorrhaging and endured three days and nights of agony. The baby girl was born bluish-purple, crying like a kitten, barely alive.】

【Zhao Dequan immediately remembered the Taoist’s words. Holding the life-or-death talisman, his palms drenched in cold sweat, he gritted his teeth and declared the child stillborn.】

【Then he secretly sent the baby to a secluded estate outside the capital, hiring the tightest-lipped wet nurse to raise her in secrecy.】

Feng Zexuan was stunned.

【Other people secretly raise mistresses, and he secretly raises his own daughter?!】

【Exactly. And he raised her like this for fifteen years.】

【Every rest day, he sneaks out of the capital to visit her. Aside from him and a few servants, no one knows.】

【The girl was raised too well—innocent, lively, running around chasing chickens and dogs like a wild little spirit. Not long ago, Zhao Dequan asked her what kind of husband she wanted in the future.】

【Guess what she said?】

【She shook her head like a rattle drum, clinging to his arm: ‘Father, I don’t want to marry! What’s so good about marriage? I just want to stay with you forever!’】

Feng Zexuan: 【And what did Zhao Dequan say? He can’t exactly force her to marry, right?】

【Of course he tried to fulfill her wishes!】

【But what did he do?】

The system paused.

【Host, Zhao Dequan treasures this daughter—this child he nearly lost at birth. His protective instincts are extreme.】

【And recently, his wife has fallen seriously ill. The imperial physicians say she doesn’t have much time left…】

【So, an insane idea began to take root in his mind!】

Feng Zexuan tensed.

【He… what is he planning?】

The system went silent for a moment, gathering strength for the next bombshell.

【He plans to… marry her.】

Silence.

Then—

【After his wife passes away, he intends to fabricate a perfect identity, and then—bring her into the Zhao household with full bridal ceremony, eight-carriage procession, and officially marry his biological daughter as his… secondary wife!】

BOOM—!

It was as if a black lightning bolt tore through the Golden Palace, striking every single official on the head.

Dead silence.

A silence so heavy it felt like time itself had frozen.

Crack!

On the dragon throne, Emperor Xiao Juechen snapped the jade brush in his hand clean in two.

The fracture looked like his shattered worldview.

He had seen court corruption, imperial scandals, moral decay—but this… this complete violation of human ethics—

He had never seen anything like it.

Minister Zhang Jing, who had just been devastated moments ago, suddenly straightened as if injected with adrenaline.

His hollow body somehow found strength again, eyes wide like bells.

Father… compared to you, my problems are nothing!

Grand Secretary Wang Wenchang’s eyes rolled back as he collapsed backward, only to be caught by panicked colleagues.

The entire court—civil and military—froze.

Face control?

Gone.

All that remained was one expression: absolute mental breakdown.

Even Feng Zexuan was completely stunned.

【HOLY—WHAT THE—!!!】

【He’s insane! That old man is completely insane!】

【Marrying your own daughter?! What kind of forbidden relationship is this? Father-daughter romance PLUS edition?!】

【I can’t digest this! This gossip is too hot!】

The system chuckled darkly.

【Host, have you heard the saying: ‘A parent’s love is far-reaching’? Zhao Shangshu has already transcended mortal romance.】

Some officials actually sighed in relief.

Good. Not that kind of relationship…

But then they realized—

This was somehow even worse.

The system continued calmly:

【Zhao Dequan’s logic is simple.】

【He believes all men in the world are untrustworthy.】

【He can’t allow his precious daughter to marry anyone else.】

【So the only solution is—she becomes his wife in name, staying under his protection forever.】

【After his death, she will become the legitimate matriarch of the Zhao family, holding the highest generational authority.】

【His sons, daughters, grandchildren—all must respectfully bow and call her ‘Mother’ or ‘Grandmother’.】

【Who would dare harm her then? Who could touch her?】

【She would control the entire Zhao family fortune, live freely, unrestrained for life.】

Feng Zexuan had nothing left to say.

【I… wow.】

【What kind of god-tier operation is this?!】

【His children and sons-in-law… would they have to call their own sister ‘mother’?!】

【This is too beautiful, I don’t even want to imagine it!】

The system burst into laughter.

The entire court erupted into chaotic mental turmoil.

They cursed inwardly—but strangely, beneath the disgust was a bizarre sense of awe.

They didn’t understand Zhao Dequan.

Was it worth it to ruin his reputation for a daughter?

Was it worth becoming the laughingstock of history?

Or… was this what true protection looked like?

Emperor Xiao Juechen frowned.

If everyone acted this selfishly, wouldn’t the nation collapse?

In the ranks, Feng Huai’an’s back was soaked in cold sweat.

He thought he was already a good father.

But compared to Zhao Dequan…

He was nothing.

That wasn’t parenting.

That was building a private palace for his daughter—and planning to turn himself into the mortar sealing it forever.

Feng Zexuan suddenly sighed.

【So this is what it feels like to have someone backing you up no matter what…】

【A father like this—crazy or not, he makes sure everything is arranged for you.】

【Wow. Ultimate dad meta. Terrifying.】

Then she suddenly remembered something.

【Oh right, system!】

【Didn’t the emperor want to test that forced marriage policy on the Zhao family?】

【Let’s see how this mad old fox plans to respond to imperial decree!】