Lin Zhengyan was the first to step forward.
He clutched his carefully maintained beard—nurtured for thirty years—his face flushed red, even his voice trembling:
“Body, hair, and skin are gifts from one’s parents. One must not damage them! This… this is unfilial! It is utterly outrageous!”
“Your Highness, this absolutely cannot be done!”
The other officials quickly echoed him, and the scene descended into chaos.
“Yes! Shaving the hair is a great disrespect!”
“I’ve kept this beard for forty years—how can it just be shaved off like that!”
“Your Highness, please reconsider!”
Lord Marquis Zhenbei, Fang Huai’an, stood among the crowd with a tightly furrowed brow.
This girl is absolutely insane!
She’s trying to rip the dignity off all civil and military officials and stomp it into the ground!
But…
Looking at his daughter’s confident expression, he faintly felt that she must have a backup plan.
【Host, they look like they’re about to rebel!】
The system’s voice carried a tone of gleeful schadenfreude.
“Rebel?”
Feng Zeyan sneered inwardly.
【They’ve never seen real technological cruelty.】
【If reasoning doesn’t work, then we use force.】
She snapped her fingers crisply.
“Bring it out!”
Space distorted, followed by the roar of grinding metal.
Eight mechanical arms rose from the ground like spider legs, slowly unfolding, their tips glinting coldly.
Clippers, scissors, razors, hot towels, spray bottles, hairdryers…
They buzzed ominously, like a killing machine.
“Automatic Grooming Machine.”
Feng Zeyan patted its sleek metal body with a “clang clang” sound.
“It specializes in dealing with all kinds of stubbornness.”
【Hehe, 3,000 contribution points to rent for half a day—totally worth it!】
【This thing is a five-star, zero-complaint item in the system store!】
【Host, you’re such a money-saving genius~】
“Who’s first?”
The officials stared at the waving mechanical arms, faces pale as they all instinctively stepped back.
Some even hid behind others.
“No one?”
Feng Zeyan raised an eyebrow, her gaze sweeping across the crowd—finally landing on a figure desperately trying to shrink into the group, wearing pink underpants.
“Xiao Mingrui, your clothes are the most tattered. You go first.”
“No! I won’t! Those claws are going to eat me!” Xiao Mingrui screamed, backing away frantically.
Two straw puppets immediately grabbed him without a word and pressed him toward the machine.
Click!
Metal restraints locked his limbs.
“Aaaahhh—! Father save me! Sister save me! It’s going to eat my brain!”
He screamed with eyes shut tight, tears and snot flowing.
The mechanical arms descended.
But there was no imagined pain.
A warm towel was placed on his face, carrying a fresh mint scent.
Then the clippers touched his scalp, vibrating with a strange tingling sensation.
His scream got stuck in his throat, turning into a weird whimper.
“…Huh… kinda comfortable?”
Three minutes later.
The mechanical arms retracted, and the restraints unlocked.
A large mirror slid in front of him.
“Open your eyes.”
Xiao Mingrui slowly opened one eye.
The person in the mirror—fair-skinned, sharp-featured, with neat short hair—who was that?
His original long hair had made him look somewhat delicate and feminine. Now with a buzz cut, his features suddenly became sharp and defined, carrying a youthful, spirited energy he had never had before.
He touched his bristly scalp, then looked left and right in the mirror, even raising an eyebrow dramatically.
“This… this is really me?”
“I… actually look pretty handsome?”
With the first “guinea pig” stepping forward, fear turned into curiosity.
Princess Xiao Mingyue’s eyes lit up:
“Can that moving claw do braids? I want something… something really cool and sharp!”
At that moment, the crowd parted.
Xiao Juechen stepped forward with a dark expression.
He looked at the machine, his gaze briefly lingering on the “hair regrowth serum” reward.
For his hair.
For not going bald again.
He would gamble it all.
“I will go.”
He strode forward and sat down, his posture as if he were sitting on a dragon throne.
The mechanical arms danced.
His crown fell, long hair scattered.
Five minutes later.
When Xiao Juechen stood up again, the entire hall sucked in a breath.
The imperial majesty that had once been hidden beneath ceremonial tassels was now fully revealed.
Temples shaved clean, top hair trimmed into a crisp short style. Sword-like brows, sharp eyes, a jawline like a blade.
His long-time aura of authority, combined with this modern haircut, created an uncanny and striking transformation.
【Holy crap!】
Feng Zeyan almost dropped her teaching baton.
【Old Xiao’s face… this is literally the domineering CEO from novels!!】
【If he were in modern times, he’d be a Forbes cover model!】
【That aura is insane!】
Xiao Juechen, hearing her thoughts, tilted his head slightly toward the mirror, touching his short bristly hair.
Domineering CEO?
Though he didn’t know what official rank that was, it sounded… extremely high.
A barely noticeable smile tugged at his lips.
Somehow, his mood improved.
But not everyone was happy.
When it was Lin Zhengyan’s turn, the old prime minister looked like he was heading to execution.
The moment the cold blade shaved off his meticulously kept mustache—proudly maintained for thirty years—
Tears streamed down his face.
“My dignity… my image… it’s all gone…”
In the mirror, the clean-shaven chin made him feel like a naked chick.
After the grooming was finished, Feng Zeyan waved her hand.
A set of blue-and-white clothes appeared out of thin air.
“All of you, change!”
“These are the academy uniforms. Wear them and you’ll all be the coolest people alive!”
Fifteen minutes later.
The door of the changing room opened.
A group of top dignitaries of the Great Xia Dynasty awkwardly stepped out.
Loose sports pants, zip-up jackets pulled all the way to the collar.
And most eye-catching of all—the five bright red characters on the chest:
“Serve the People”
Minister of Rites Lu Wenbin’s belly was too big; the zipper got stuck halfway, squeezing his stomach into a round “swimming ring.”
The Crown Prince stuffed his pant legs into his socks, looking like a farmer about to transplant rice.
Xiao Mingrui was the most outrageous—he had somehow stuck a wildflower onto his zipper pull and walked with a swaying gait, acting like a flirtatious noble son.
Only Xiao Juechen stood out.
Hands in his pockets, back straight. That plain sportswear somehow looked like a custom-tailored suit on him.
Feng Zeyan looked at this group of completely transformed ancient officials and nodded in satisfaction.
She turned to her brother.
Wearing the same uniform, he looked like a cool campus heartthrob—clean and refreshing like a breeze.
“Brother, you look great!” she gave a thumbs-up.
Feng Zeyang sighed helplessly, but affectionately ruffled her newly cut short hair.
“You really are going to turn the world upside down.”
Feng Zeyan grinned, then turned to the crowd and raised her baton.
“Very good. Now you finally look somewhat human.”
“This makeover was just a warm-up.”
She pointed toward the endless barren fields in the distance.
“Next comes the real soul transformation.”
“All units!”
“Turn right!”
“Target: First Farm!”
“Run—forward march!”
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