Feng Zeyuan chuckled and shifted into a more comfortable position on the tree trunk.
“Why panic?”
“Look at those three bears—their bellies are round. They’re clearly full and just messing around. They’re toying with them.”
“As long as they don’t do anything stupid, they won’t die anytime soon.”
【Besides, within ten meters, I can pull them into my space anytime. What’s there to fear?】
【System, give a crash course. What should you do when you encounter a bear?】
The system’s field survival class immediately went online.
【Ding! Wilderness Survival Guide is now in session!】
【First—playing dead does NOT work on brown bears! They can sense heartbeat and breathing, and they’re not picky eaters. Even rotten meat is fine! So the Crown Prince is basically a can of food waiting to be opened!】
The Crown Prince Xiao Mingxuan on the ground felt his scalp go numb.
【Second—never turn and run! It triggers predatory instincts!】
【Correct method: make loud noises! Appear fierce! Face it while slowly backing away!】
【If you have food, throw it far away immediately to divert attention!】
A spark of inspiration flashed through the Crown Prince’s mind.
Noise? Look fierce?
He suddenly sprang up from the ground, spreading his wide python robe. His whole body instantly looked “larger.”
“ROAAAR—!!”
A non-human roar erupted from the heir apparent of the Great Xia, echoing through the forest.
The guards quickly joined in, clapping, stomping, shouting in chaotic rhythm.
“OH! HA! HEY! HOO!”
“WO—WO—WO—”
“YO! CHECK IT OUT!”
“煎饼果子来一套!”
No one even knew who shouted the last one, but no one cared anymore.
The male brown bear took a step back, its massive body swaying slightly.
It tilted its head, its tiny eyes full of big confusion.
These creatures… are they insane?
Is it contagious?
Should I stay away?
The bear fell into deep thought and even retreated a few more steps to maintain a safe distance.
【Hahaha! That actually worked!】
【Look at the bear’s confused face—it’s probably never seen such crazy humans in its life!】
On the other side, Princess Xiao Mingyue also remembered the instructions.
Throw food!
She quickly thought of the wild rabbit in her quiver, hurriedly untied it, and hurled it with all her strength into the distance.
“Take this!”
The rabbit flew through the air in a perfect arc and landed in the bushes more than ten meters away.
The bear sniffed the air, catching the scent of fresh blood.
Compared to these lunatics in front of it, fresh rabbit meat was far more appealing.
It growled, called its cubs, and lumbered off toward the rabbit.
The crisis temporarily resolved.
The Crown Prince and the Third Princess collapsed onto the ground, gasping for breath, exchanging relieved glances.
“Third sister… we… survived…” the Crown Prince stammered.
“Yes… thanks to the Northern Duke…” Xiao Mingyue wiped her sweat.
Only Xiao Mingrui in the tree was about to cry.
He also wanted to shout, wanted to throw something.
But he had nothing at all!
His quiver had been lost during the escape, and aside from his torn pants—he had nothing!
The mother bear was still staring up at him, claws already scratching at the tree trunk!
Xiao Mingrui steeled himself.
If that trick worked for the Crown Prince, I’ll do it too!
He hugged the tree trunk, gathered his strength, and roared with all his might.
“GET AWAY—AH!!”
But he used too much force.
The dry branch beneath him snapped with a mournful creak.
Crack!
His body went weightless and dropped straight down.
“HELP!!!”
But he didn’t hit the ground.
His waistband, by sheer bad luck, caught perfectly on a horizontal branch.
And thus, an astonishing scene appeared in the forest.
The Third Prince of Great Xia hung in midair like cured meat drying in the wind, swaying back and forth in an utterly humiliating posture.
His already tattered pants finally gave up on life.
RIPPPP—
The fabric tore with a crisp sound.
From crotch to hem, the entire pair of pants split open.
Two pale legs—and that flamboyant pink underwear—were fully exposed to the mother bear.
【Oh my god! Hahahahahaha!】
Feng Zeyuan nearly fell off the tree laughing.
【So this is the legendary… “ball-tearing” moment?】
【And it’s pink! That color scheme, that design, that hanging pose…】
【Amazing. The Third Prince has single-handedly raised the fashion standard of the Great Xia court!】
【System, tell Liu Si to write a novel. Put this on the cover illustration—it’ll sell like crazy!】
【I already named it: “That Day, the Third Prince’s Pink Underwear Shocked the Entire Hunting Grounds!”】
Feng Zeyuan’s elder brother turned his head away, shoulders shaking violently in the wind.
Do not look. Do not look.
But… it was impossible not to.
The visual impact was too strong.
Even the mother bear was stunned by this sudden “sky-drop delicacy.”
It looked up at the swinging pink object, confusion flashing in its eyes.
What is this?
A new kind of fruit?
Can it be eaten?
Looks… tender.
It pushed off the ground and leapt upward, its massive jaws aiming straight for Xiao Mingrui’s vulnerable rear.
The Third Prince only felt a gust of foul wind rush toward him.
Looking down, he saw sharp teeth just three inches away from his most critical area.
He screamed in terror:
“AAAAAH! DON’T COME ANY CLOSER! DON’T BITE! MY BUTT! MY HONOR!”
“HELP ME, BROTHER! HELP ME, NORTHERN DUKE! I DON’T WANT TO BECOME A EUNUCH!!”
“I HAVEN’T EVEN HAD A SON YET!!!”
Just as the fangs were about to land, despair filled the air.
Feng Zeyuan’s gaze sharpened.
Enough fun.
Don’t joke with a prince’s life.
【Tch. So embarrassing.】
【Get in here.】
With a single thought—
Just before the bear’s teeth touched the pink silk—
Whoosh!
Xiao Mingrui, along with his shredded pants, vanished into thin air.
The bear snapped its jaws shut on empty space.
Clack!
Its teeth collided violently, sparks almost flying.
It fell to the ground, staring blankly at the empty branch.
Where is it?
Where did my big swinging meat go?
How did it disappear in a blink?
The Crown Prince and Third Princess froze in shock.
Their third brother… was gone?
Just like that?
At that moment, a whistle came from the tree.
Two tiger roars shook the forest.
“ROAAAR—!!”
Big Orange and Little Jiao appeared, descending with the majesty of kings.
Thud!
The two giant tigers landed heavily.
Just their presence made the mother bear’s legs weaken.
It let out a miserable howl, completely abandoning its prey, and fled into the forest with its companions.
The crisis was fully resolved.
Crown Prince Xiao Mingxuan collapsed to the ground, drenched in cold sweat.
Princess Xiao Mingyue leaned against the tree, exhausted.
Before she could speak—
A soft sound rang out.
They looked up and saw Feng Zeyuan and her brother descend gracefully from the tree.
Feng Zeyuan brushed off the bark dust from her hands and smiled at them.
“So, Your Highnesses… did you enjoy your wilderness adventure?”
That smile made both of them shiver.
The Crown Prince swallowed.
“Lord Northern Duke… my third brother… he—”
“Oh, him.”
Feng Zeyuan waved casually.
“He’s gone to a good place. He’s already sitting there drinking hot tea, waiting for you to join him.”
The Crown Prince looked blank.
“W-what place?”
Feng Zeyuan grinned.
“A labor reform training camp.”
“You’re the only ones left.”
Before they could react—
With a wave of her hand.
The Crown Prince felt the world spin.
Whoosh!
Whoosh!
Along with several stunned guards, everyone vanished again.
The forest fell silent.
Only the rustling of leaves remained.
Feng Zeyuan stretched lazily.
“Work done!”
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