SBCEJM -Chapter 253 Social Death Scene! The Eldest Princess and the Naked Sprinting Man’s “Ground Pin” Romance!

The roar faded, its echo still rippling across the lake.

Fang Ziqin’s legs went weak. Cold sweat whooshed out of him, instantly soaking through his thin inner robe.

A lion?

In the outskirts of the capital—how could there be such a ferocious beast?

The reeds were in complete chaos.

Prime Minister Lin shoved his head straight into the mud; his goatee came out smeared with dirt.

Yongchang Marquis was even worse off—half his body was wedged in a rock crevice, stuck between advancing and retreating.

Only Xiao Juechen remained composed.

The Emperor of Great Xia had one hand locked tightly around a tree bark.

Afraid?

Not at all.

Those dragon-like eyes of his were full of excited “watching a show” energy.

It looked like Fang Ziqin was about to be devoured by the lion at any moment.

Then, from the pavilion above, a sharp shout cut through the air.

“Beast! How dare you harm people!”

Several black shadows shot out from the darkness. Cold blades were drawn, flashing with chilling light, instantly surrounding the two “lions.”

Xiao Mingxi held a long sword, her robes fluttering as she rushed down the pavilion steps.

Moonlight spilled like water, illuminating her breathtakingly cold and beautiful face. Her sword pointed straight at the lion’s brow.

Her valiant, heroic aura made it impossible to look away.

【Wow! Is this the legendary “damsel saving the hero”?】

【My delicate, can’t-take-care-of-himself Lord Fang… paired with the bright and generous Eldest Princess…】

【This is way too shippable! Locked in! I’m swallowing the key!】

The two “surrounded lions” didn’t panic at all. Instead, they exchanged a very human-like glance.

Especially the slightly smaller one on the left—its amber glass-like eyes rolled, then it suddenly shook its head.

Its enormous maw, large enough to swallow a child’s head, slowly opened—

The surrounding assassins tightened their grip on their blades, palms drenched in sweat.

The entire scene fell dead silent.

Even the wind seemed to stop, as if waiting for the earth-shattering roar.

And then—

From that majestic lion throat came a sound:

“GA—!!”

Clear.

Loud.

And somehow outrageously like a village goose.

The other “lion” immediately followed, lifting its head with great seriousness:

“GA!”

Fang Ziqin: “……”

Assassins: “……”

The murderous atmosphere shattered instantly.

Those two “gag” sounds echoed across the empty lakeside.

Absurd. Surreal.

Xiao Mingxi’s sword hand froze mid-air. Even she, usually composed, couldn’t help twitching her lips.

Lions… barking like geese?

Was she dreaming?

【Oh no!】

【We messed up! I panicked and used the wrong script!】

Feng Zexuan’s frustrated voice exploded in everyone’s minds.

【It’s over, the lion’s dignity is gone—now it’s just a village idiot!】

System: 【Hahahahaha! Host, don’t say it, your brother’s “ga” just now was even more standard than yours!】

The “lion” standing nearby looked utterly dazed.

Fang Ziqin’s nearly-fled soul slowly returned to his body.

These lions… were the Crown Prince’s doing?

Pfft—

Somewhere in the reeds, someone couldn’t hold it in and let out a short burst of laughter.

Then, muffled snickers erupted everywhere.

Prime Minister Lin buried his face in the mud, shoulders shaking like he had epilepsy.

Yongchang Marquis pinched his own thigh hard, tears almost spilling out from the pain.

Even Xiao Juechen, leaning against the tree, was red-faced from suppressing laughter. The entire tree shook as leaves rustled down.

Those two royal troublemakers!

Are they trying to make me laugh to death so they can inherit the throne?!

Just as everyone was struggling not to die from laughter, Feng Zexuan suddenly had an idea.

If intimidation didn’t work, then something more direct!

The “goose-lion” kicked off its hind legs—

A small, inconspicuous pebble shot out like lightning, striking Fang Ziqin’s ankle precisely.

“Ah!” Fang Ziqin, still dazed, suddenly lost balance and lunged forward.

And the direction was—

Straight toward Xiao Mingxi, who had just sheathed her sword and was still questioning reality.

“Careful!”

Xiao Mingxi instinctively reached out, arms open to catch him.

But she clearly overestimated her strength—and underestimated the weight of a grown man falling at full force.

Thud!

A dull impact.

The two crashed together and fell into the grass behind them.

No expected pain came.

Fang Ziqin only felt softness beneath him. His nose brushed against smooth skin.

A faint cold fragrance entered his breath—Xiao Mingxi’s scent.

Worst of all—

His face was, by pure coincidence, buried in the crook of her neck.

Their lips even brushed against a patch of warm, delicate skin.

Fang Ziqin’s breathing instantly went chaotic. Hot breath spilled onto her sensitive skin, sending subtle tremors through her body.

Xiao Mingxi froze completely.

Her mind went blank.

Only her heart thundered in her chest.

It was impossible to tell whose heartbeat it was anymore.

【System, screenshot this! This is a legendary scene!】

【Cold Eldest Princess VS Pure Scholar, grass “ground pin”!】

【Where’s the “force them to kiss” squad?! Do it already!】

The officials lying in the grass had their eyes wide open like copper bells, practically wishing they could pull their eyeballs out to watch more closely.

Xiao Mingxi’s face flushed crimson instantly, spreading from her neck to her ears.

Flustered and embarrassed, she pushed the man on top of her hard.

“Get… get off!”

Fang Ziqin finally snapped back to reality. He scrambled up in panic.

Then thud—he dropped straight to his knees, banging his head repeatedly on the ground.

“This… this minister deserves ten thousand deaths! I have offended Your Highness! Please punish me!”

The two “lions” had already slipped away into the reeds, shaking their tails as they vanished without a trace.

A dignified cough broke the awkward silence.

Xiao Juechen stepped out from behind the tree, hands behind his back, walking slowly forward.

Behind him, a whole group of court officials emerged noisily.

Prime Minister Lin brushed mud off himself while pretending to admire the stars.

Yongchang Marquis held his sore waist, grimacing, yet still forcing a look of exaggerated surprise.

“Oh? The Eldest Princess?”

“What a coincidence, I was just stargazing and somehow ended up here.”

“And Lord Fang is here too? Performing… formal courtesies?”

Xiao Mingxi looked at this group of people who should have been at home asleep—but were now neatly gathered here.

She suddenly felt like dying.

Father… and all the ministers…

You all saw it?

Xiao Juechen’s gaze swept across his daughter’s disheveled clothes and Fang Ziqin kneeling on the ground.

No imperial anger appeared.

Instead, there was a fox-like sharpness and satisfaction.

“Mingxi.”

His tone was unreadable.

“Fang Ziqin trespassed into your residence at night, acted disrespectfully, and even had physical contact with you. What do you intend to do?”

Fang Ziqin buried his head in the mud, trembling like a drenched quail.

It’s over.

This time, it really is over.

【Argh, this is so frustrating!】

【Why even ask? Just take this perfect pure scholar home, wash him up, and—well—you know!】

【Host, you’re doomed~】

Hearing the familiar inner voice, Xiao Mingxi’s face grew even hotter.

She took a deep breath, suppressing her embarrassment.

“Father, Lord Fang only entered by mistake. And… the incident just now was accidental. He did not intend to offend me.”

“I ask to investigate the matter before making a decision.”

Well spoken.

Seemingly neutral, but clearly protecting him.

If handed over to official judgment, just the charge of “insulting the Eldest Princess” alone could cost Fang Ziqin his life.

Xiao Juechen raised a brow.

He knew his daughter well.

So she’s protecting him, huh?

After a brief pause, he deliberately put on a stern face.

“Accident? I think he came prepared!”

Fang Ziqin’s heart stopped.

Before Xiao Mingxi could plead—

The Emperor suddenly changed tone, eyes glinting with mischief.

“However, death can be avoided, but punishment cannot.”

“Fang Ziqin, from today onward, you belong to the Eldest Princess. I hereby command you to enter her residence and serve her—until the day she allows you to leave!”

The imperial decree fell.

Silence filled the air.

All officials stood frozen, jaws nearly dropping to the ground.

Serve her?

Enter the princess’s residence?

Isn’t this basically… an arranged marriage?!

Directly awarding Fang Ziqin to the Eldest Princess as a live-in attendant?!