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Chapter 201

SBCEJM -Chapter 201 The Imperial Censor’s Shocking Side Job!

Substituting for My Brother at Court, the Entire Civil and Military Court Joined Me in Gossiping6 min read201 of 367

My father is actually a master of mousetrap engineering?

【System, what did my father do after that?】

Cen Zeyan couldn’t wait to ask.

【Oh, him…】

The system dragged out its tone, sounding mischievous.

【He started setting up “mechanisms” inside his room!】

【Mechanisms?】

Cen Zeyan froze.

【Don’t tell me my father was trying to imitate wuxia novels—poisoned needles, barbed iron traps, all that stuff?】

【You’re thinking too small.】

The system sneered.

【Your father’s weapon was—mousetraps!】

【……Mousetraps???】

Cen Zeyan’s brain short-circuited for three seconds.

【That’s right. The exact ones collecting dust in your kitchen corner.】

【My father… used mousetraps as mechanisms?】

She questioned her entire existence.

【Isn’t that… kind of wrong?】

The system replied seriously.

【Back then your father thought: no matter how skilled an assassin is, they still have to enter through doors or windows, right?】

【As long as I set up “sound alarm devices,” wouldn’t that solve everything?】

【He thought hard for several days, then had a flash of inspiration—mousetraps!】

【Cheap! Hidden! And they make a loud “snap!”】

【If an assassin steps on one, it’ll definitely wake them up from their dreams!】

Cen Zeyan’s mouth twitched wildly, trying not to laugh.

【So my father basically treated top-tier assassins like rats stealing oil?】

She silently complained.

【What if the assassin knows light-foot techniques and comes in through the roof tiles instead?】


On the court, the ministers all had wonderfully complex expressions.

The Minister of Revenue suddenly trembled and wiped the cold sweat from his forehead.

He suddenly remembered something embarrassing from his youth—

Back then, he had also tried something equally stupid.

To guard against thieves, he placed a bronze gong under his bed and tied a string to his hand.

The next morning, he rolled over—

CLANG!

The sound didn’t scare any thief, but nearly scared him into the afterlife.

The Ministry of Works official silently shook his head.

Who didn’t do foolish things when they were young?

Cen Huai’an’s face burned red like it had been scorched by fire.

Those memories… were truly unbearable to recall.


【However—】

The system’s tone suddenly brightened.

【Your father enthusiastically bought over a dozen iron mousetraps from the market and set up a “heavenly net” around his bed, windows, door seams… everywhere.】

【But the capital’s rats were smarter than him.】

【They smelled the iron and the mechanical traps from afar and simply avoided them.】

【Some even deliberately pooped next to the traps in mockery.】

【Your father was furious!】

The system laughed.

【Spent over a tael of silver, and didn’t even catch a single rat hair, let alone an assassin!】

【The more he thought about it, the angrier he got.】

【Eventually he made a decision that defied his ancestors—】

【He would build a stronger one himself!】


Cen Zeyan laughed like a goose.

【Hahahaha! My father got into a feud with rats???】

【Exactly!】

The system sounded proud.

【So a frail scholar began his hardcore R&D journey.】

【“Nong Sang Ji Yao”, “Tiangong Kaiwu”, “Qi Min Yao Shu”…】

It listed book after book.

【Anything related to carpentry, mechanisms, bamboo weaving—he devoured them all!】

The entire court fell silent.

A future Imperial Censor—famous “court critic”—

Ended up diving into crafts just to build a mousetrap?

That level of obsession was… absurd.


【At the time, your father’s position was low and his workload light.】

【After finishing a few official documents, he had nothing else to do.】

【So he started visiting a bamboo craftsman in the west of the city named Master Wang.】

【Master Wang was the best artisan in the capital.】

【His bamboo baskets were so durable that even after the person died, the basket would still be intact.】

【At first, Master Wang thought your father was just another bored noble playing at hobbies.】

But—

【Your father showed up every day after work like clockwork.】

【He started from the basics—peeling bamboo, splitting strips.】

【His hands were cut all over by bamboo shards. He simply wrapped them in cloth and kept working.】

【If he failed, he redid it. Over and over again.】

【Never once complained.】

Master Wang was stunned.

“Wow! It’s rare to see a scholar this hardworking!”


Cen Zeyan thought quietly.

【So this persistence…】

【No wonder my brother is also so serious about everything.】

【It runs in the family.】

Cen Huan’an’s lips tightened slightly.

A faint warmth flashed in his usually cold eyes.

So his father… had once been like this.


【For three full years, your father practically lived in Master Wang’s workshop.】

【His wounds healed and reopened again and again.】

【Calluses on his fingertips became thick enough to use as thimbles.】

【Master Wang eventually admitted defeat and said: “In 30 years of craftsmanship, I’ve never seen a scholar with this level of talent!”】

【“Your hands are born for this!”】


【After three years, his “graduation project” was finally completed—】

【A fully handmade, high-precision, extremely powerful… bamboo mousetrap!】

The system’s tone was full of admiration.

【The spring mechanism used specially treated phoenix-tail bamboo, repeatedly baked and compressed for extreme elasticity.】

【The trigger system was woven from bamboo fibers as thin as hair—so sensitive that even a breeze had to be careful.】

【If a rat’s whisker touched it—】

【SNAP!】

【Instant lock. No chance to even squeak.】

【Ten times more powerful than iron traps on the market.】

Cen Zeyan silently gave a thumbs-up.

【My father is actually amazing…】

【This could’ve been patented.】


The ministers’ expressions became even more complicated.

Some looked impressed.

Turning a trivial thing into perfection required real character.

Even the Minister of Revenue nodded slightly.

No wonder he became Imperial Censor.

That level of obsession wasn’t something ordinary people had.


【After finishing the first batch, your father was so excited he didn’t sleep all night.】

【He immediately made dozens more.】

【Then he went completely overboard—turning the entire Cen residence (then just a small courtyard) into a giant mousetrap maze.】

【Under beds, behind cabinets, corners, trees in the yard… everywhere.】

【Even in front of the toilet—two traps.】

【Your mother had to walk carefully just to avoid triggering anything.】

【She was furious and shouted: “Cen Huai’an! Are you insane?! Even the toilet isn’t safe?!”】

Cen Zeyan imagined her mother’s rage and nearly burst out laughing.

【My mother must’ve wanted to hit him, right?】

【Of course!】

The system laughed wickedly.

【Your father just chuckled and marked every trap with three white stones arranged in a triangle so family members wouldn’t step on them.】

【He even drew a ridiculously detailed “Cen Residence Defense Map.”】

【It listed every trap location, model, and trigger mechanism.】

【He posted it on the wall and checked it daily like a military commander.】

Cen Zeyan was completely convinced.

【This is full-blown paranoid genius behavior…】

【And my mother actually endured all of this? Respect.】

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