RPS – Chapter 1 A Thunderstruck Transmigration

_{I kicked off this translation alongside Let All the Officials Hear My Thoughts; I’m Just Going to Slack off and Watch the Drama—yep, I totally picked this one on a whim! 😎 It kinda gives off vibes similar to Through the Farming Fields Full of Spring 🌸🌾 If you like chaos, comedy, and the occasional cosmic slap, you’re in for a ride. Hope you enjoy it! 💕📖}

Li Feng was a reporter at a small magazine. The company wasn’t big, so he had to handle all sorts of trivial chores. Why, you ask? Because he was the easiest to push around. To put it nicely, he had a good temper. To put it bluntly, he was mild, slow to anger, and too honest for his own good.

Don’t be fooled by his name, which sounded bold and masculine—Li Feng was actually the kind of man who loved comfort to death. All he ever dreamed of was making enough money so he could hole up at home for the rest of his life. He had no grand ambitions, wasn’t particularly good at making money, and certainly wasn’t the type to sweet-talk women. So, despite having worked for several years, he still didn’t have a girlfriend. In fact, he had never even held a girl’s hand!

He wasn’t worried, either. Day after day, he’d just sit in front of his beloved computer, tapping away. He once told a coworker: “Just give me a computer with internet access, a small room, and some daily necessities—and I can spend my entire life indoors.” See? That’s how much of a shut-in he was.

But reality doesn’t always go the way one wants. The more he wanted to stay in, the more his job forced him out. As a small-time reporter—even if it was just for an unknown food magazine—he still had to go out and do interviews.

One day, he had scheduled an interview with a country woman who specialized in traditional dishes. He figured he could use the food prep steps to pad out one of those filler articles his magazine loved so much.

But fate is unpredictable. As he was zipping down the road on his battered electric scooter, a typhoon struck. He had known there was a typhoon warning today, but his stingy, bald boss still forced him to go out, saying, “The typhoon won’t hit until tonight! The weather forecast said so!”—as if believing the weather forecast made more sense than believing in a train collision.

Li Feng had replied, “That’s exactly why I don’t trust the weather forecast. We could do the interview tomorrow after the typhoon passes.” But that bald old man insisted, “Believe it or not, I believe it,” and with that, he sent Li Feng and a few other coworkers off to interview people in the middle of a storm!

And what happened? As expected—never trust the weather forecast. Not only did the typhoon arrive, but it brought heavy rain with it. And where there’s rain, there’s lightning. Just as he was looking for a roof to shelter under, a loud boom cracked right in his ears. Before he could even react, a blinding bolt of lightning struck him dead-on. He could even smell the scent of roast meat—that was his own skin burning. The pain hit him for a split second before his senses cut out completely. Everything went dark.

Li Feng woke up from the pain—yes, he was literally jolted awake by agony. Still dazed, he actually felt a bit grateful. “Wow,” he thought. “I survived a lightning strike? I should totally buy a lottery ticket. Who knows? I might win a few million and finally live the life of a professional shut-in.” Ah yes, the ultimate dream.

All of that flashed through his mind in an instant. But the pain was too overwhelming to let him think straight. God, it hurts! Where exactly was it hurting? His stomach and… uh… his butthole? Wait, was he getting surgery without anesthesia? Or did the drugs already wear off? Damn it, what kind of irresponsible hospital would operate without proper pain relief? It felt like someone was flipping his intestines inside out…

With great effort, he pried his heavy eyelids open. Sweat blurred his vision, and he couldn’t see clearly. But he could hear someone nearby shouting with joy: “He’s awake! Thank God, he’s finally awake!”

The mixed sounds of surprise, joy, and sobbing left him completely confused. He didn’t have any family left—he had always been on his own. After leaving the orphanage, his relationships with coworkers were lukewarm at best. No close friends. So… who was crying for him?

Before he could figure that out, someone began pressing hard on his stomach, saying as they worked, “Push! Push harder! We can see the head already! Come on, push!”

The constant urging made him instinctively push along. He had no idea what was happening, but something in him said that if he didn’t push, it would only get worse. The pain in his belly surged again like a tsunami, and the feeling in his butt—ugh, it was like he’d completely lost control down there. Something was definitely wrong. Gritting his teeth, he gave one last push, and felt… something slide out from his rear. Then his whole body relaxed, and so did his mind. Before he could understand what had just happened, he passed out again.

Which was actually very fortunate—because he missed the newborn baby’s first loud wails. If he had heard it, he wouldn’t have just fainted—he might’ve just wished he were dead all over again…

_{Wait, hold up… was that a transmigration and childbirth at the same time?! 😳⚡👶 Man got struck by lightning and delivered a baby through the backdoor—legendary behavior 😂🔥}