PCJ – Chapter 381 The Chicken Thief

“You should’ve come to me! The food at the teachers’ cafeteria is just as bad as the students’ cafeteria, like pig slop. I’m sick of it already. I didn’t realize that besides being good at studying, you’re also good at hunting,” Cai Kaiming said as he moved a chair close to Zhang Jiaohua and patted his shoulder.

“Teacher Cai, do you have a kitchen?” Zhang Jiaohua asked.

“Come on, I’ll take you to see it.” Cai Kaiming was even more enthusiastic than Zhang Jiaohua, clearly fed up with the school’s food.

Cai Kaiming was a young teacher, having graduated from the teacher’s college just two years ago. He was still single, living at the school, and eating at the cafeteria. At a school like Yidushui Middle School, there weren’t many single men. Some of the more impatient ones had already married local village girls nearby. But given their conditions, it wasn’t easy for them to marry city women, so the rural girls were easier to come by. Of course, those who were too plain or unattractive were excluded.

Cai Kaiming wasn’t too plain or unattractive, but his standards were high. This kind of person, who neither settled high nor low, found it hardest to find a wife.

Cai Kaiming led Zhang Jiaohua to his teacher’s dormitory. He lived alone in a room where a stove was set up in the corridor, and everything—pots and utensils—was ready. There was even a small cupboard in the room.

“The teacher who lived here before left all this when he transferred. I’m just too lazy to cook for myself, so I haven’t used any of it. I’ll give you a spare key to my room. If you ever want to cook something, feel free to come over. You can steam rice directly at the school cafeteria. If you need a coal stove, I’ll buy some coal balls. There’s also plenty of firewood. Just don’t set the place on fire,” Cai Kaiming said as he handed Zhang Jiaohua a key.

Zhang Jiaohua hesitated about accepting the key, but then Cai Kaiming added, “I only have one condition: no matter what you cook, I must get a share.”

Hearing this, Zhang Jiaohua readily accepted the key. He thought going out to cook in the wild was a hassle. Doing it occasionally wasn’t an issue, but frequent trips would surely attract attention. If other students followed suit, the school would eventually step in. Now that he had a better solution, Zhang Jiaohua was happy to accept.

“Teacher Cai, do you mind if I set up a little shelter in the corner? I’d like to bring my dog from home. Don’t worry, my dog doesn’t bite or bark at people,” Zhang Jiaohua asked after looking around.

“Sure, but why would you bring a dog to school?” Cai Kaiming was puzzled.

“My dog is a hunting dog. It can help me catch prey in the mountains every day,” Zhang Jiaohua explained.

“Really? Go ahead. If you need any materials, just ask me, and I’ll make sure to get everything you need,” Cai Kaiming eagerly agreed.

Zhang Jiaohua’s instincts were right. The day after their wild cooking adventure, someone else tried to imitate them. However, they didn’t have Zhang Jiaohua’s skills at catching pigeons. Pigeons are very alert, and any small movement will scare them away. The methods others tried weren’t successful, but as the saying goes, “Everyone has their own way.” The next day, a teacher’s wife at Yidushui Middle School caused quite the commotion.

“Who stole my chicken? May you get diarrhea and die, you thief! May your head be chopped off, and your mouth swell up from eating my chicken! May you be cursed with no descendants…” This woman had a vicious mouth, and her string of curses lasted a good half hour. If her words came true, the chicken thief’s ancestors would die a hundred times, their female relatives would meet unfortunate ends, and their lives would be cut short before they were even born.

Cai Kaiming rushed to find Zhang Jiaohua. “Jiaohua, didn’t we agree yesterday? How could you go out and steal chickens for your outdoor cooking? If you wanted to cook, you should’ve come to my place! And you didn’t even leave me a share, that’s just too much!”

Zhang Jiaohua was dumbfounded by Cai Kaiming’s righteous accusation. “It wasn’t us! We ate at the cafeteria yesterday.”

“Even if it was you, it wouldn’t matter. Every household here raises chickens, and they let them roam around, leaving chicken poop everywhere. I’ve stepped in it so many times. Don’t worry, no one will come looking for us here,” said Cai Kaiming, who had argued many times with the teachers and their families who raised chickens.

“It really wasn’t us. We saw you at the cafeteria during dinner yesterday, remember?” Zhang Jiaohua said, feeling exasperated by Cai Kaiming’s poor memory.

“Oh, right. Then who was the scoundrel that stole a teacher’s chicken? These students are getting out of hand, even daring to steal chickens from teachers’ families!” Cai Kaiming slammed the table in anger.

Zhang Jiaohua suspected that Cai Kaiming’s anger was mainly because he hadn’t gotten to eat any of the chicken.

“When are you going to bring your hunting dog to school?” Cai Kaiming quickly shifted the topic.

“What?” Zhang Jiaohua asked, confused.

“Can your hunting dog catch wild chickens?” Cai Kaiming’s thoughts jumped again.

Zhang Jiaohua couldn’t help but feel sympathy for Teacher Cai. How long had it been since he last had meat? His life had driven him to the point where he couldn’t even speak straight anymore.

That evening, Zhang Jiaohua didn’t eat in the cafeteria. The five-member group steamed their rice and left it in Teacher Cai’s room before heading out. Zhang Jiaohua went into the mountains alone, placing a few stones on the ground.

“I invite the spirit of Master Zhang Wulang to descend from the altar… At every altar, there are names, at every hall, there are flags and spears. The iron-armored golden body appears in the clouds, riding swiftly with the wind and horses. Disciple calls upon you to descend now, Master of the Altar!”

After chanting the incantation for a while, a muntjac appeared in front of the stones Zhang Jiaohua had placed, looking bewildered.

Zhang Jiaohua whispered, “Muntjac, I’m borrowing a bit of your meat today.”

The muntjac didn’t run, nor could it. Without removing the stones, it wouldn’t be able to find its way. Zhang Jiaohua walked over and gently tapped the muntjac on the head, causing it to fall to the ground silently, dead. He hoisted the animal onto his shoulder and kicked the stones aside, breaking the spell.

Zhang Yuanbao and the others were waiting outside. While Zhang Yuanbao and the mute weren’t worried, Qi Xia and Nie Tong were quite anxious.

“Do you think Jiaohua will be okay, going into the mountains alone?” Qi Xia asked, concerned.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be out soon,” Zhang Yuanbao reassured her.

Nie Tong, puzzled, asked, “What did Jiaohua go to the mountains for? Why didn’t he let us go with him?”

“Some things can’t be explained. Just make sure you don’t spread it around at school, got it?” Zhang Yuanbao warned, forgetting who the real blabbermouth was.

“Relax, as long as you don’t go around boasting, no one will know,” Zhang Jiaohua said as he emerged from the woods.

Qi Xia and Nie Tong’s eyes widened in surprise when they saw the muntjac on Zhang Jiaohua’s shoulder. Qi Xia walked over and touched the animal. “Wow, it’s still warm. Did you just catch it?”

Nie Tong was also curious. “How did you catch a muntjac so quickly? Those things are cunning and run fast. Even most hunting dogs can’t catch up.”

“How could ordinary hunting dogs compare to Jiaohua?” Zhang Yuanbao had barely finished speaking when he was kicked by Zhang Jiaohua.

Zhang Yuanbao chuckled sheepishly, realizing his words had a double meaning.

Zhang Jiaohua wasn’t about to carry the muntjac openly into Yidushui Middle School. He didn’t want to attract attention, so he sneaked in by climbing over the wall near the teachers’ dormitory.

Cai Kaiming, who was preparing lessons, was shocked to see the muntjac Zhang Jiaohua had brought back. “Jiaohua, where did you get this muntjac?”

“From the mountains, of course. It’s not like it would walk to school on its own,” Zhang Jiaohua joked.

“I mean, how did you catch it?” Cai Kaiming put down his pen, ready to help with the muntjac.

“Teacher Cai, you better not get in the way. For us mountain kids, dealing with this is a piece of cake,” Qi Xia laughed.

Cai Kaiming, seeing how skillful Zhang Jiaohua was, chuckled and stepped aside. He didn’t have Zhang Jiaohua’s expertise. Zhang Jiaohua drained the blood from the muntjac, knowing that the gamey taste was mainly in the blood. Without draining it properly, the meat would have a strong odor, though draining it well would reduce the flavor too. Zhang Jiaohua had done this many times before and had mastered the balance.