MLMD -Chapter 378 Do You Dare Lay a Hand on Me?

In the feudal era, the morning court session was the place where the emperor and his ministers discussed affairs of state. It was an extremely important meeting—but at the same time, an utterly miserable one. Especially in the Ming dynasty, being a capital official qualified to attend morning court was a truly thankless job.

Officials attending morning court had to rise at midnight and cross half the capital to reach the Meridian Gate. By three in the morning, they were required to arrive outside the gate and wait for it to open. At five o’clock, the palace gates would open, and the officials would line up to enter the palace. After crossing the Golden Water Bridge, they would line up in the square like elementary school students of later generations. While standing in line, they were forbidden to cough, talk, or spit; even an unsteady walking posture could get them impeached by the censorial officials in charge of discipline. From this perspective, the role of the censors was remarkably similar to that of neighborhood aunties in later times who wore red armbands.

Inside the Hall of Supreme Harmony, Zhu Youjian sat upon the dragon throne at the center, watching the ministers file in, his expression rather displeased. As the ruler of a nation, he had naturally learned long ago of what had happened the previous day at Qianmen. When the Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard, Luo Yangxing, reported the massacre at Qianmen to him, even though Chongzhen had already been on the throne for ten years and believed his mental fortitude to be strong enough, he was still left dumbfounded. But after the shock came anger—such a large-scale battle had taken place right under the Son of Heaven’s feet, with over a hundred people dead. This could already be called the largest public security incident in the capital since the mid-Ming period and would surely go down in history.

Looking at the neatly lined ministers below, Zhu Youjian knew this morning court would certainly be lively. Sure enough, after the officials had shouted “Long live the Emperor” three times, a loud-voiced eunuch called out, “If any of you, my lords, have matters to report, speak now; if not, court is dismissed!”

The eunuch’s words had barely fallen when someone immediately stepped forward—and this person held no low position. It was Shang Zhouzha, who had just succeeded Tang Shiji as Left Censor-in-Chief.

Shang Zhouzha’s appointment had nothing to do with integrity or uprightness; after all, in the Chongzhen era, truly upright officials were practically extinct. In truth, he had become Left Censor-in-Chief simply because he had good relations with certain people.

Tall and thin, with a small goatee on his chin, his gaunt face made his eyes appear even narrower, giving him an overall sinister air.

Shang Zhouzha stepped forward, bowed to Zhu Youjian, then straightened up. With an indignant expression, he said loudly, “Your Majesty, this humble servant has heard that a sagely Son of Heaven governs the realm with benevolence and filial piety, wishing all under Heaven to know the Emperor’s glorious name. Yet yesterday, someone brazenly slaughtered over a hundred soldiers of the capital garrison in the bustling marketplace. Such monstrous deeds are truly outrageous. What shocks us even more is that the Prefect of Shuntian has done absolutely nothing, openly allowing this murderous villain to roam free. Where is Heaven’s justice? Where are the laws of the Great Ming? I humbly beg Your Majesty to issue an edict to arrest this criminal and behead him publicly, so as to uphold the law of the state!”

Zhu Youjian was no longer the hot-blooded youth he had been when he first ascended the throne. Years of ruling had given him considerable depth. Looking at Shang Zhouzha below, his face full of grief and indignation, Zhu Youjian calmly asked, “Minister Shang, who is this villain you speak of?”

“Your Majesty, this man is none other than Tang Hu, who has styled himself Deputy Director of the Shanxi Finance Bureau!” Shang Zhouzha replied with a voice full of sorrow, as though this Tang Hu had committed some unspeakable outrage against his own female relatives.

Watching Shang Zhouzha below, looking as though he were mourning a parent, Zhu Youjian curled his lips in faint mockery and continued, “And have you investigated the cause of the incident?”

Shang Zhouzha replied sorrowfully, “Reporting to Your Majesty, the matter has already been thoroughly investigated. When Duke Chengguo, Zhu Chuncen, was leading the capital garrison past Qianmen, they were suddenly attacked by a gang of bandits led by Tang Hu. What’s more, these villains actually used firearms. Such insane acts committed in broad daylight are exceedingly rare in the Great Ming’s hundred-year history. I believe the matter brooks no delay and beg Your Majesty to swiftly issue an edict to arrest this brute!” Having finished speaking, Shang Zhouzha knelt and remained prostrate.

Seeing him kneel, a group of censors beside him also knelt in unison, shouting, “We beg Your Majesty to swiftly issue an edict to arrest this brute!”

Looking at the kneeling officials, Zhu Youjian took a deep breath and slowly nodded. “Since all my ministers speak with one voice, then I shall order Tang Hu and Duke Chengguo to be brought before the hall. I will personally question them about the matter.”

As soon as Chongzhen finished speaking, a quick-tongued censor immediately said, “Your Majesty… such a heinous criminal needs no interrogation. Would it not be better to arrest him at once and hand him over to the Three Judicial Offices for joint trial before disposing of him?”

The moment these words left his mouth, Shang Zhouzha knew this fool had ruined everything. The Emperor wanted to interrogate Tang Hu, and you dared to block it—wasn’t that tantamount to shouting “there’s no silver buried here”?

The censor himself soon realized his stupidity. Feeling the knife-like gazes around him, he nearly wanted to bury his head in his trousers. Then, a cold voice rang out in the great hall: “I said—bring Tang Hu and Duke Chengguo before me!”

“This servant obeys the edict!”

No one dared to speak further. Palace guards quickly went to carry out the order. When the Emperor wanted to see someone, efficiency was naturally high. Half an hour later, Tang Hu and Zhu Chuncen were brought into the hall.

Both knelt together. “This subject, Tang Hu, Deputy Director of the Shanxi Finance Bureau (Duke Chengguo Zhu Chuncen), kowtows to Your Majesty. Long live the Emperor, long live, long live!”

Looking at the two men of very different builds before him, Chongzhen took a deep breath and asked, “Tang Hu! I have heard that you led men yesterday to slaughter over a hundred soldiers of the capital garrison. Is this true?”

“Your Majesty, it is indeed true,” Tang Hu admitted bluntly.

Chongzhen continued, “Then why did you refuse to admit it when the Prefect of Shuntian questioned you yesterday?”

Tang Hu replied, “Because if this subject had admitted it, I would have been taken away by the Shuntian authorities, and my life would not have been spared.”

“Heh…”

Including Chongzhen, the ministers in the hall were both amused and angered by Tang Hu’s answer. This fellow was far too candid.

But after the laughter came anger. Chongzhen sneered, “So today you speak the truth because you have decided that I would not dare kill you?”

Tang Hu, still kneeling, glanced at Zhu Chuncen beside him. Zhu Chuncen was staring at him with hatred—this was the man who had nearly beaten him to death in the street the day before. If this grudge were not avenged, the dignity of the Duke Chengguo’s household would be utterly lost.

Sensing the venom in Zhu Chuncen’s eyes, Tang Hu paid it no mind and said indifferently, “This subject may die today, but even if I am to die, I must accuse Duke Chengguo Zhu Chuncen here beside me. I was peacefully selling grain in the capital when Duke Chengguo first sent people to forcibly purchase my grain at a low price. When I refused, on the opening day of my rice shop, he instructed over a hundred capital garrison soldiers to seal it up. After my men drove them off, Duke Chengguo, in his fury, personally led over a thousand soldiers to seek revenge. For self-preservation, this subject had no choice but to order a counterattack, killing and wounding over a hundred garrison soldiers. That is the entire course of events. I beg Your Majesty to see clearly!”

“Duke Chengguo, is this so?” Zhu Youjian’s voice was as cold as his expression.

“Your Majesty… this… this…” Cold sweat poured down Zhu Chuncen’s forehead. He wanted to deny it, but he knew that with minimal investigation, the truth would be clear. Denial was useless.

Chongzhen said flatly, “What is it? My Duke Chengguo—do you not dare admit it?”

“This subject… this subject deserves death!” Zhu Chuncen could only say this. Then he gritted his teeth and added, “But Your Majesty, even if this subject was at fault, Tang Hu privately maintained death warriors and openly killed capital garrison soldiers. This alone, under the Great Ming Code, is enough to warrant death by lingchi. I beg Your Majesty to judge wisely!”

Though matters had come to this, Zhu Chuncen was not overly worried. He was a noble whose family shared the state’s fortunes; surely the Emperor would not punish him too severely. As for Tang Hu—having brazenly killed over a hundred soldiers—he must be executed to quell his rage.

“Treason?” Chongzhen smiled faintly. “Zhu Chuncen, you say Tang Hu’s killing of garrison soldiers amounts to treason, yet you privately led capital garrison troops out of their barracks. Did you have my imperial edict or an order from the Ministry of War? Do you not know the ancestral regulations of the Great Ming—that mobilizing more than fifty capital garrison soldiers requires an imperial edict or Ministry order? Otherwise, it too constitutes treason.”

“This…” Zhu Chuncen was struck dumb. Such ancestral regulations did exist, but they dated from time immemorial—who remembered them now? After scratching his head for a while, he stammered, “Your Majesty… this subject… this subject admits I acted impulsively. But I only intended to reason with Tang Hu; I never meant to kill anyone. Yet Tang Hu brazenly used firearms and killed over a hundred garrison soldiers—should he not be punished?”

Hearing this, Tang Hu was almost laughing in anger. He sneered, “Duke Chengguo truly is impressive. So when ancestral law applies to you, it’s merely a moment of impulse; when it applies to me, it’s a crime deserving death. Could it be that the laws of the Great Ming were written for your family alone?”

Seeing the two arguing, most officials—led by Yang Sichang—remained silent, eyes lowered as though a flower had suddenly sprouted at their feet. Only a dozen or so censors and imperial inspectors, led by Shang Zhouzha, continued speaking in Zhu Chuncen’s defense.

“Your Majesty, Duke Chengguo’s fault was unintentional, but Tang Hu openly killed people in public—these two cannot be equated.”

“Your Majesty… Tang Hu’s crimes are monstrous. He deserves death by lingchi at the very least!”

Watching this group aggressively gloss over key points while focusing their fire on Tang Hu, Chongzhen asked him, “Tang Hu, do you have anything else to say?”

“This subject has nothing more to say,” Tang Hu replied. “I only lament that the same ‘heinous crime’ can sound so different when spoken by these censors who read the sages’ books—one becomes an unintentional mistake, the other a crime deserving lingchi. It reminds me of something Lord Yue once said in Shanxi. At the time, I didn’t think much of it. Only today do I marvel at how incisive his words truly were.”

“Oh? What did he say?” Not only Chongzhen, but the ministers in the hall grew curious. They all wanted to hear what the now-famous Loyal and Brave Marquis had said.

Tang Hu looked around at the ministers and Chongzhen. “Your Majesty… may this subject rise to speak?”

Chongzhen nodded. “You may rise and speak.”

Tang Hu stood up, brushed the dust from his clothes, and cast a contemptuous glance at the censors before saying, “Your Majesty, Lord Yue once said: People of the world all think prostitutes are the most shameless, yet they do not know that there is another kind of person even filthier. These people appear dignified and moral, constantly quoting the classics, but inside they are full of theft and lust. They brazenly occupy the halls of government, denouncing this person and cursing that one all day long. If you were to cut them open, you would find their hearts pitch-black. Such people are the filthiest of all. After all, prostitutes are only sullied in body—these people are filthy inside and out, dripping with blood and filth.”

The moment Tang Hu finished speaking, the hall fell silent. Every official’s face darkened—his words had insulted everyone present.

Shang Zhouzha was the first to jump up, pointing and shouting almost hysterically, “Tang Hu! How dare you! With all civil and military officials present, you dare—how dare you slander us all? What crime do you deserve?!”

Tang Hu gently brushed aside Shang Zhouzha’s finger and sneered, “My lord, watch your words. When did I ever say I was speaking of all officials? Why are you so eager to jump out—could it be that you are one of those people?”

“You… you…” Shang Zhouzha’s hand trembled uncontrollably, his face turning purple as if he were about to collapse. Two censors beside him hurried to support him. The rest of the officials looked equally unhappy—Tang Hu’s words were vicious. Was he trying to carpet-bomb everyone and cut off his own retreat?

Seeing this, even Chongzhen had to admire Tang Hu’s nerve. This man’s courage truly knew no bounds. To speak like this—was he not afraid the assembled officials would tear him apart and eat him alive? Even Chongzhen himself would not dare openly curse all the court officials like this. He could not allow Tang Hu to continue, or the solemn court session would devolve into a fishwife’s street brawl.

“Enough!” Chongzhen interrupted sharply. Staring at Tang Hu, he said in a deep voice, “Tang Hu, although I find some truth in your words, they are no justification for wantonly killing others. Therefore, I must still deal with you!” As he spoke, he fixed his gaze on Tang Hu’s face, hoping to see fear.

Yet Tang Hu remained calm. “This subject was prepared long ago. I anticipated this before entering the palace.”

Chongzhen asked curiously, “Oh? You are not afraid of death? Know that killing openly in the capital is a capital crime.”

“This subject will not die,” Tang Hu said with certainty.

“You mean I would not dare kill you?” Chongzhen’s expression turned cold. Though he had already decided that Tang Hu must die—after all, publicly killing soldiers was far too severe—Tang Hu’s confidence still ignited his anger. Chongzhen was famously impatient and hot-tempered; any emperor would feel murderous when a subject openly claimed the emperor dared not kill him.

Seeing the killing intent in Chongzhen’s eyes, Tang Hu said calmly, “Before coming, Lord Yue instructed this subject that if anyone in the capital dared openly harm me, he would order a halt to all tax payments to the court—not a single tael of silver, not a single grain of rice, would enter the capital.”

Silence… deathly silence filled the hall.

Chongzhen’s face turned iron-blue. His hands on the armrests began to tremble slightly. This was an unbearable insult—a subject openly threatening the Emperor before the entire court. Such a thing was exceedingly rare throughout all dynasties.

“Traitor! You dare—dare openly threaten the Emperor! What crime do you deserve?!” a voice suddenly shouted.

Tang Hu turned to look—it was Yang Sichang. The Grand Secretary was livid, his beard bristling, glaring as though he wanted to devour Tang Hu.

“Grand Secretary Yang, so it’s you,” Tang Hu sneered. “You played the mediator not long ago—today you accuse me again?”

“You… you are still a subject of the Great Ming, eating the Emperor’s salary. How can you utter such treasonous words? You… are you not afraid of having your nine clans exterminated?” Yang Sichang was furious. To threaten the Emperor in open court—this audacity was beyond belief.

“Grand Secretary Yang, you are mistaken,” Tang Hu said earnestly. “This subject’s title of Deputy Director of the Shanxi Finance Bureau was not granted by the court—indeed, the court has no such office. My salary is paid by Lord Yue. Yet now, for the sake of a villain, the Emperor would take my head. Should I not say a few words?”

At this, the hall fell silent. Only then did everyone recall that Tang Hu indeed held no official post from the court—and that the salaries of officials throughout Shanxi were all paid out of Yue Yang’s own pocket. Strictly speaking, aside from nominal titles, the court had no real authority over them.

Looking at the silent crowd, Tang Hu said seriously, “Everything this subject has said is true. If the court executes me today, then from this day onward, Shanxi will pay no taxes to the court whatsoever. And afterward, Lord Yue will avenge me. These are Lord Yue’s words.”

Tang Hu’s statement was naked blackmail—and it carried another message as well: whoever dared touch him must be prepared to face Yue Yang’s retaliation.

Now—do you dare lay a hand on me?