LFHYB -Chapter 150 Hahaha, You’re Really Unlucky

When falling rocks blocked both ends of the mountain valley and Li Zhiyun led troops to cut off the Turkic rear, some panicked Turks abandoned the main force and fled toward Yanmen City.

When Li Xuanba deliberately opened a path to let Shibi Khagan escape, the one commanding the siege of Yanmen City in his stead—Shibi Khagan’s younger brother, the minor khagan Ashina Duobi—had already learned from the routed soldiers that Shibi Khagan had fallen into an ambush.

Duobi hesitated for a while and did not go to rescue Shibi Khagan.

It wasn’t because he intended to let Shibi Khagan die so that he himself could ascend the throne…

The minor khagan Duobi was the third younger brother of Shibi Khagan. Even if Shibi Khagan were to die, it should be their second brother—Ashina Silifu, the minor khagan currently staying behind at the Turkic royal encampment—who would inherit the position of Turkic Khagan.

Shibi Khagan’s son was still young, and his second brother Ashina Silifu was first in line to inherit. That was why he had remained behind to guard the Turkic royal tent—it wasn’t merely because Ashina Silifu was weaker in combat.

Duobi Minor Khagan did not send out troops simply because Shibi Khagan had taken away the bulk of the elite forces. Even if their retreat route was cut off, it was unlikely that the entire army would be wiped out.

If Shibi Khagan had truly fallen into an ambush by the Great Sui army, then Duobi should not rush over to die as well. Instead, he ought to consolidate his forces and return to the grasslands once news of Shibi Khagan arrived.

Duobi Minor Khagan’s judgment was correct.

However, when the second wave of routed Turkic soldiers came to report that Shibi Khagan had been surrounded by the Sui army and was having great difficulty breaking out, Duobi began to panic.

Should he go to the rescue or not? What if Shibi Khagan really died?

One of his trusted aides whispered, “Even if the Khagan meets with misfortune, the minor khagan is still the new khagan’s younger brother. Would the new khagan really blame you?”

Duobi Minor Khagan looked at the aide, his gaze intimidating, but he did not rebuke him.

He understood what the aide meant.

Whenever the Turks went to war, each tribal chief led his own troops, accepting the khagan’s unified command.

The elites Shibi Khagan had taken with him were all the finest warriors directly under the Turkic royal court. Of the troops currently attacking Yanmen City, half were warriors personally under Duobi’s command. If he did not rescue Shibi Khagan and instead withdrew to the grasslands, his own tribe’s strength could be preserved.

But if Shibi Khagan did not die, and Duobi failed to rescue him, then Duobi might well be killed by Shibi Khagan.

In the end, cowed by Shibi Khagan’s authority, Duobi neither dared to flee first nor wanted to suffer losses to his own tribe. He chose to remain at Yanmen City and wait for news.

He ordered his tribal warriors to launch a fierce assault on Yanmen Commandery. That way, even if Shibi Khagan blamed him for failing to provide aid, he could claim that the Sui forces inside Yanmen City were too formidable and that he feared the Sui emperor might escape, making it impossible for him to leave.

Moreover, since Shibi Khagan had not sent anyone to issue new orders, continuing to carry out the previous commands was the safest option.

Just as Duobi Minor Khagan issued the order for a fierce attack on Yanmen City, and as the defending troops inside the city—personally encouraged by Yang Guang—were swearing to fight to the death, Shibi Khagan himself returned, leading his routed army.

Right behind Shibi Khagan came the mighty Sui army in overwhelming force.

Li Zhiyun had already joined up with Luo Shixin and the others. The fierce Sui troops charged at the front, driving the routed Turkic soldiers toward Yanmen City.

Countless Turkic soldiers were killed or wounded in the chaos. Especially when they exited the mountain valley—the escape route was narrow. Not to mention those who died from trampling each other, no one knew how many were knocked down and trampled to death in the crush.

After leaving the valley, some of the Turks, in their panic, failed to follow the commands of their nobles and scattered like headless flies. Shibi Khagan was unable to regroup all the remnants; fewer than thirty thousand Turks managed to flee back toward Yanmen City.

Yet the impact of fewer than thirty thousand routed soldiers was already enough to throw the Turkic forces outside Yanmen City into disorder.

Most of the Great Sui’s officers and soldiers were veterans hardened by countless battles. Their combat strength and ability to judge the situation needed no questioning.

The Sui defenders on the city walls immediately noticed the chaos among the Turkic troops as soon as the routed soldiers arrived. They decisively ordered a general counterattack while simultaneously reporting to Yuwen Shu.

Though Yuwen Shu was a treacherous official and a corrupt official, he was also an experienced and courageous old general.

After ascending the city tower and seeing the banner embroidered with Li Xuanba’s name, he burst into loud laughter. “I thought Dade only wanted to scare the Turks away—this truly exceeds my expectations!”

Yuwen Shu personally donned armor and mounted his horse. “Reinforcements have arrived! Follow me out of the city gates to meet the enemy!”

Not only did Yuwen Shu personally go into battle, but every old general in the city who had once been on the battlefield also armored up, mounted their horses, and led their personal guards and retainers out of the city.

Although Pei Shiju had never fought on the battlefield, he was skilled in mounted archery from his time managing the Western Regions, so he too donned armor and rode out.

Yang Guang, protected by Yu Shiji, Pei Yun, and Su Wei, waited anxiously inside the city for news.

“The Sui army has arrived! Shibi Khagan, surrender at once!”

Guided by Chen Tieniu, Luo Shixin wielded a long spear in one hand and a horse-lance in the other, swinging both weapons at once as he relentlessly pursued Shibi Khagan.

Li Zhiyun, protected by Xiang Gu, focused his bow and arrows on sniping the Turkic command banners.

Although he lacked the strength to shoot through the banner poles with a single arrow, repeated precision shots still managed to kill several soldiers guarding the banners, delaying the transmission of Turkic commands.

“If my second brother were here, he’d shoot the pole in half with one arrow,” Li Zhiyun muttered as he fired.

“If my second brother were here, he could split you all to death with a bow even without arrows…”

Xiang Gu, holding a horse-lance and protecting Li Zhiyun, didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Fifth Young Master had been muttering nonstop along the way—was this his way of relieving battlefield tension?

At the very rear of the formation, Li Xuanba raised the commander’s banner and directed the civilians temporarily conscripted from Yanmen Commandery to act as the “atmosphere squad.”

The civilians formed neat square formations, shouting and killing with convincing flair.

The gathered Sui routed soldiers, holding real spears, stood at the very front of each small formation to provide a proper façade. The other civilians held wooden poles tied with discarded spearheads or broken swords, pretending to fight valiantly.

Their movements were slow, and Li Xuanba had only one requirement for them: keep the formation neat.

Under the ferocious fighting of Luo Shixin and the others, tens of thousands of civilians padding out the numbers advanced slowly toward the Turks in orderly formations. At first glance, it looked as though a disciplined Sui infantry battle formation was truly pressing forward.

If the Turks had come closer—and understood the local dialect—they would have heard the battle cries shouted by the crowd:
“Feet with shoes, step forward! Feet without shoes, step forward! Feet with shoes, step forward! Feet without shoes, step forward!”

And if they had looked even more closely, they would have noticed that these tens of thousands of people were all wearing straw sandals on only one foot.

For common folk scraping by, going barefoot while working and walking was nothing unusual. Their soles were thick with calluses—so much so that even walking barefoot across a battlefield would not slow them down.

Li Xuanba sat in his wheelchair, vigorously fanning himself twice with a feather fan to disperse the heat around him.

He let out a sigh, lamenting how difficult it had been to come up with the “rapid troop-training method” on the spur of the moment.

The sky had already darkened. Although torches burned along the walls of Yanmen, visibility on the battlefield was steadily worsening.

Mounted on a tall horse, Shibi Khagan could only see that he was being attacked from both sides by the valiant Sui cavalry. Beyond the cavalry melee, ranks of orderly Sui infantry were methodically harvesting the remaining Turkic troops.

Were the Sui infantry getting more and more numerous as they fought?! Had new reinforcements arrived?!

“Khagan, we must retreat!” the young khagan Duobi said, on the verge of tears.

He had failed to rush to Shibi Khagan’s aid in time because he could not bear to abandon the warriors of his own tribe. Who would have thought that Shibi Khagan, crashing in with routed troops, would cause his warriors to suffer heavy casualties—he did not even know how to gather the remnants now.

Shibi Khagan’s other two younger brothers also said, “The loot we seized has already been packed and sent ahead. Retreating now means we still come out ahead!”

Though unwilling, Shibi Khagan still let out a heavy sigh and said, “Withdraw north. I will personally bring up the rear!”

The Turkic warriors’ morale rose. “Yes!”

Li Xuanba held up his spyglass and watched for a long time. As the sky grew darker, even this ordinary spyglass was becoming hard to use.

“They’re finally retreating.” Li Xuanba raised his hand and waved it. The signal flags changed, and the Sui army deliberately left Shibi Khagan a path of escape.

Shibi Khagan keenly noticed the Sui army’s change in formation.

He turned his head and glanced toward where Li Xuanba was.

Shibi Khagan’s eyes were as sharp as an eagle’s. Even with the sun about to set, he clearly saw a frail youth who was actually sitting on a chair—right there on the battlefield.

With just one look, he realized this was the sickly weakling he had once underestimated.

Shibi Khagan ground his teeth. “‘Leaves Nothing Unaccounted For’—Li Xuanba.”

He sharply sensed that he might have been deceived, that the Sui main army might not have arrived at all. If he had held on a little longer, perhaps it would have been the Sui army that retreated in defeat.

But realizing this now was meaningless.

He had already ordered a retreat. He could only continue retreating—if he suddenly rescinded the order, the Turkic army would fall into chaos, and then his losses would truly be catastrophic.

“So the Han people’s so-called strategists actually have the real thing.” Shibi Khagan snorted with a laugh, spurred his horse, and turned away. “I’ll remember you.”

The sun set, but the fiery clouds on the horizon had not yet faded, and it was not fully dark.

The night wind howled. Li Xuanba set down his feather fan and smiled at the veteran general galloping toward him.

Li Xuanba did not stand. Sitting in his wheelchair, he cupped his hands in salute. “I have not failed my mission.”

Pei Shiju cracked his whip and overtook Yuwen Shu. Before his horse had even fully stopped, he flipped down from the saddle. “Third Young Master Li! Well done!”

Yuwen Shu dismounted with a smile. “Dade, you’ve worked hard.”

Yu Shinan hurried over. “Third Young Master, is your body all right?”

Li Xuanba’s smile stiffened. Huh? Even Teacher Yu was carrying a blade and wearing armor? The histories never said Teacher Yu could do that! He was nearly sixty! Take it easy!

Li Xuanba hastily stood up from the wheelchair. After only two steps, his body swayed, and he was caught on either side by Pei Shiju and Yu Shinan. Yuwen Shu was squeezed off to the side.

This treacherous, corrupt minister—who would wipe out an entire clan if someone owed him a bribe—awkwardly rubbed his nose and good-naturedly stepped aside.

“How have you grown so thin?” Yu Shinan burst into tears the moment he grasped Li Xuanba’s wrist. “Quick, sit down, sit down.”

Pei Shiju scolded, “In this condition, what battlefield are you going to? You should have stayed obediently in the rear.”

Li Xuanba wanted to smile and reassure the two elders who truly cared for him, but the moment he opened his mouth, a string of coughs spilled out.

Behind Li Xuanba, Physician Sun immediately took out a large pill and stuffed it into Li Xuanba’s mouth.

Li Xuanba frowned slightly and swallowed it.

“Don’t speak. We’ve already won—you can take a short nap,” Yuwen Shu said gently. “I’ll speak to His Majesty. Sleep without worry.”

Li Xuanba was just about to give thanks when Yu Shinan took the water skin from Physician Sun, blocked Li Xuanba’s mouth, and poured two mouthfuls of warm water into him.

Li Xuanba nearly choked.

“The Duke of Xu told you not to speak—didn’t you hear?” Yu Shinan frowned.

Li Xuanba shrank his neck and shut his mouth.

Yuwen Shu laughed loudly. “You really do deserve a good scolding from your teacher.”

Li Zhiyun did not pursue the Turkic forces. He rode back to boast of his achievements to his third brother. Seeing his third brother surrounded by a crowd of senior ministers, he obediently stood to one side and waited.

Armored veteran generals came over one after another, clicking their tongues in amazement as they looked at Li Xuanba.

Li Xuanba felt extremely awkward, as if he were some kind of monkey on display.

Under the dual gazes of Pei Shiju and Yu Shinan, he could only close his eyes and pretend to faint. Physician Sun carried him onto a carriage, and only then did the onlooking veteran generals disperse.

“No wonder he’s the youngest xiucai of the Great Sui—His Majesty’s eye for talent this time was indeed good.”

“I used to hear about his reputation of ‘leaving nothing unaccounted for’ and thought he was just like those aristocratic youths chasing fame. After this battle, I’m convinced.”

“It’s a pity his elder brother, ‘Never Defeated in Battle,’ isn’t here. When ‘Never Defeated in Battle’ and ‘Leaves Nothing Unaccounted For’ are together—that’s truly formidable.”

“They’re the ones who captured the Tuyuhun khagan, right? What a pity. If his elder brother were here too, Shibi Khagan definitely wouldn’t have escaped.” …

Li Zhiyun stood to the side, nodding silently again and again.

Exactly—this time, Shibi Khagan getting away was entirely Second Brother’s fault!

Second Brother, you were way too slow! Where did you run off to? Don’t tell me you got lost?

“Achoo—” Li Shimin rubbed his nose and pointed at the Turkic convoy ahead. “Transporting so much stuff, yet the guard is this lax—are they letting me loot it?”

Changsun Wuji panted as he said, “Second Young Master Li! We’ve already been marching at full speed for two days! You still want to fight?!”

Li Shimin looked puzzled. “Only two days—and we slept at night. How is that a forced march? Sigh, forget it. You rest here; the rest of you, charge with me!”

Changsun Wuji watched Li Shimin’s cheerful retreating figure and cursed loudly, “Charge your head! This is obviously Shibi Khagan transporting his wealth—hey! Wait for me!”

Changsun Wuji was so furious that he drew his bow to the fullest, deliberately snatching the heads Li Shimin had already lined up.

Li Shimin turned back and shouted angrily, “Changsun Wuji, get the hell away from me!”

Changsun Wuji sneered. “You’re just slow.”

Pei Xingyan, who had gone ahead with a light cavalry unit to scout, rushed back in a hurry. “I saw Shibi Qaghan’s main army—this is only the vanguard… Damn it! My scouts haven’t even finished reporting, and you’ve already started fighting?!”

Li Shimin said, “I didn’t start fighting. I’m scouting too.”

Pei Xingyan cursed, “Your ancestors! You call this scouting?! Shibi Qaghan’s army is here!”

Li Shimin shouted, “All troops, form up in square formation! Infantry, don’t dismount—keep your armor on and ride straight through them!”

Pei Xingyan: “Huh?!”

Charging forward as he spoke, Li Shimin continued, “From the expressions and wounds of these people transporting valuables, you can tell Shibi Qaghan retreated in great haste. He must’ve just suffered a crushing defeat and hasn’t had time to rest. This is our chance!”

Pei Xingyan: “…That’s true.”

He had actually scouted the same thing and was just about to report it to Li Shimin and suggest ambushing Shibi Qaghan, but…

Ahhh, forget it—charge!

Just as Li Shimin had expected, the moment he raised the commander’s banner, the Turkic vanguard transporting the goods scattered in panic, as if they’d seen a ghost.

“The Sui General Li is catching up!”

The Turks fled in utter chaos.

Li Shimin: “Hm?”

He captured a Turk and asked curiously, “What do you mean, ‘catching up’? Were you defeated by some other Sui general surnamed Li?”

The Turkic noble, giving up entirely, cursed, “I’m a Turkic aristocrat—do you think I can’t read?! Such huge characters saying ‘Pacification Commissioner of Longyou Circuit’ and ‘Grand Master for Court Discussion’! If you’re going to chase us down, then chase us—why mock us like this?!”

Li Shimin turned to look at his own banner—‘Pacification Commissioner of Longyou Circuit, Grand Master for Court Discussion, Li Shimin’—and rubbed his chin.

He said, “Look more carefully.”

The captured Turkic noble squinted again. “No matter how carefully I look, it’s still… huh? Li Shimin? Not Li Xuanba?”

Li Shimin laughed. “My younger brother’s title has a ‘Deputy’ in front of it. You really did misread it.”

The Turkic noble: “……”

Li Shimin handed the captive to a nearby guard and ordered, “Ignore the valuables for now. If we chew up Shibi Qaghan, there’ll be far more treasure. If we don’t defeat him, we won’t be able to take these goods away anyway. Xue Rengao, you’re wounded—take a thousand men to guard the valuables and prisoners. The rest of you, follow me.”

Xue Ming forced a bitter smile, looking as if his parents had just died. “Yes, sir.”

Xue Ju shot his son a disdainful glance. The unfilial brat still wanted to steal his father’s merit—look at yourself, are you worthy?

Li Shimin re-formed the ranks and shouted loudly, “Shibi Qaghan has already been crushed by my younger brother, A-Xuan. Raise A-Xuan’s banner too—let’s give them a scare. Heh.”

Qin Qiong and Zhou Da excitedly raised Li Xuanba’s banner.

Whenever forces split, each commanding general raised his own banner. All officers under Li Shimin had their own flags.

Although Li Xuanba’s fate had long been uncertain, the moment Li Shimin returned to Zhangye he had had a banner made for him as well, and carried it wherever he went on campaign.

“Li Er, Shibi Qaghan is less than twenty li away from us. Are we really just going to roll straight over him? No ambush?” Pei Xingyan asked. “Don’t be so reckless—be a bit more cautious.”

Qin Qiong silently glanced at Pei Xingyan. To think he’d hear words like “don’t be reckless” and “be cautious” coming from General Pei’s mouth.

Li Shimin said, “This is the grasslands—there’s no terrain to defend. When we spotted them, they spotted us too. On a narrow road, the brave prevail. Whoever flinches first loses.”

Li Shimin tied his younger brother’s banner to his own horse, stroked the character ‘Xuan’ on it, and his eyes shone.

“The Turks must have only just withdrawn from the battlefield—there’s still blood on them that hasn’t dried. I don’t know what method A-Xuan used to crush them, but they’re still trembling in fear.”

“We haven’t encountered an enemy for days. Our morale is high, and our weapons are untouched. They’re only a bit over a hundred thousand—could it be that each of our warriors can’t kill two or three panic-stricken deserters frightened out of their wits by my A-Xuan?”

Li Shimin raised his powerful bow. “Warriors! Can you do it?!”

The warriors roared, shaking the sky. “We can!”

Li Shimin laughed. “I’ll lead as the vanguard. Qin Shubao and Xue Shaoxuan will cover me. Pei Shoujing commands the left wing, Changsun Wuji the right wing. Zong Luohe and Zhou Da take the rear. Once I tear open their lines, split the enemy apart. Come—this general will lead you to kill the Eastern Turkic Qaghan! Kill!!”

Changsun Wuji and the others shouted helplessly along, “Kill!”

The soldiers’ morale surged like a rainbow. “Kill!!!”

The Western Turkic cavalry mixed among them nearly shouted their throats raw. “Kill, kill, kill!!!!!”

Li Shimin cracked his whip. “Charge!”

Hoofbeats thundered as the neatly formed cavalry squares galloped forward like rolling waves.

Shibi Qaghan also discovered the Sui army’s presence. As he was shouting angrily at the demoralized Turkic rout, struggling to reorganize his troops, the Sui army actually charged straight at him.

At the front, a young general in silver armor drew his bow with both hands. His horse thundered like lightning, and his arrows streaked like shooting stars—three arrows fired in rapid succession.

Shibi Qaghan dodged in panic. Two personal guards stepped up to block and cried out as they were struck, while the third arrow was deflected by Shibi Qaghan’s chest armor.

Shibi Qaghan clutched his chest and bared his teeth. The force of that arrow was insane—damn it, that really hurt!

Li Shimin drew and loosed again. “I am the Great Sui General Li Xuanba! I’ve caught up with you! Surrender at once!”

Changsun Wuji, Pei Xingyan: “……”

Xue Ju, Qin Qiong: “?”

Zong Luohe, Zhou Da: “Pfft.”

The Turkic formation fell into chaos at Li Shimin’s thunderous shout.

Shibi Qaghan’s three younger brothers rushed around him in panic. “Li Xuanba has caught up?! That fast?! He even got ahead of us?!”

Shibi Qaghan cursed furiously, “Your mother—stop pretending to be Li Xuanba! You’re Li Shimin!”

Li Shimin burst out laughing. “No—I am Li Xuanba. Look at me, don’t I look exactly like Li Xuanba? Shibi Qaghan, come and meet your death!”

Shibi Qaghan was so furious that he bent his bow as well, aiming at Li Shimin, and the two shot arrows at each other.

After finally managing to trap and nearly kill the Sui emperor, his victory had been ruined out of nowhere by that sickly wretch Li Xuanba.

After finally shaking off the pursuing Sui army and returning to the steppe with the plunder, he hadn’t gone far before he just happened to run into Li Xuanba’s elder brother—Li Shimin.

Had he offended these two brothers in some past life?!

Shibi Qaghan was so angry that he fired off the few arrows he had left. Only then did he force himself to calm down, cold sweat pouring from his forehead.

What if this wasn’t a coincidence at all—but something the brothers had planned?

By the time that thought occurred to him, the other Turks had already come to the same conclusion.

How could this not have been calculated by those two brothers?!

“Qaghan, abandon the loot and flee!” Little Qaghan Duobi urged anxiously. “When Li Shimin blocks us here, Li Xuanba will definitely lead the Sui army to chase us down! If we’re attacked from both sides, we won’t be able to escape!”

The other two younger brothers, Little Qaghan Buli She and Little Qaghan Chiji She, also tried to persuade him. “The grasslands are vast. If we really want to run, they won’t be able to stop us!”

Shibi Qaghan hesitated. Seeing signs that the Turks were preparing to flee, Li Shimin’s expression darkened.

He put away his smile and said coldly, “Qin Shubao. Xue Shaoxuan. Kill your way in.”

Qin Qiong and Xue Ju kicked their horses forward, charging out from Li Shimin’s side.

Qin Qiong’s warhorse let out a shrill neigh and suddenly leapt high into the air. Then its hooves came crashing down, splitting the Turk general blocking the way—man and horse alike—cleanly in two.

“Ahhh!!” Xue Ju roared. The horse-lance in his hands swung like a massive staff, sweeping left and right, smashing two Turk generals straight off their horses.

The ferocity of Qin Qiong and Xue Ju startled the Turks, allowing the two men to break smoothly into the Turk formation and gallop straight toward Shibi Qaghan.

Li Shimin followed close behind. Together with the cavalry at his back, whose arrows never missed, he covered the two fierce generals.

“Shibi Qaghan, prepare to die!!!”

“Die!!!”

Qin Qiong and Xue Ju thrust their horse-lances in a crossing attack—one aimed straight at Shibi Qaghan’s face, the other directly at the unarmored head of Shibi Qaghan’s horse.

Shibi Qaghan’s three brothers and the warriors beside him rushed forward to block, but they were forced back by the rain of arrows.

Gripping his bow, Shibi Qaghan barely managed to block Qin Qiong’s thrust toward his face. At the same moment, Xue Ju smashed his lance down hard onto the head of Shibi Qaghan’s warhorse.

The horse’s skull caved in, and it collapsed with a miserable scream.

Shibi Qaghan’s body lurched, and he fell to the ground together with his horse.

That thrust from Qin Qiong aimed at his face had turned out to be a feint. Qin Qiong lightly extended his lance, withdrew it in an instant, then thrust again just as swiftly—this time bracing the lance against Shibi Qaghan’s neck.

Eyes bulging, Shibi Qaghan shouted, “Run!”

His three brothers immediately spurred their horses and fled without hesitation. The Turk troops scattered in all directions, each running for their lives.

Li Shimin paid no attention to the fleeing Turks. He ordered his troops to kill the routed soldiers nearby and not to pursue those who escaped.

He dismounted, drew his long blade, and rested it against Shibi Qaghan’s neck. With a cheerful grin, he said, “Did you see my younger brother, A-Xuan? Is he doing well?”

Shibi Qaghan glared at Li Shimin, grinding his teeth. “Pah!”

Li Shimin laughed. “Hey, don’t spit. Did you see him or not?”

Shibi Qaghan spat again. “Pah!!”

Li Shimin burst into laughter. “Looks like you did meet my A-Xuan. Hahahaha—running into both brothers one after the other, you’re really unlucky.”

Shibi Qaghan spat furiously. “Pah!!!!!!”