LFHYB -Chapter 136 Zhuniang, am I still alive?

Li Xuanba thought the dream was collapsing and that he would never wake up.

But he opened his eyes—and saw Yuwen Zhu.

Even though he could barely feel the existence of his own body, he still forced a smile at her.

“When I see Zhuniang, I know I’m still alive. I’m still alive… right?”

Yuwen Zhu covered her mouth, sobbing, and could only keep nodding.

Reassured, Li Xuanba closed his eyes.

After an unknown stretch of hazy time, he woke again.

Looking at Yuwen Zhu, who was keeping vigil beside the bed, he asked once more, “I’m definitely still alive, aren’t I?”

As she fed him some porridge, Yuwen Zhu replied, “Yes. Third Young Master is still alive.”

Li Xuanba drank the porridge and sank back into sleep.

Gradually, he realized that even when he slept, his consciousness remained.

The surroundings seemed covered by a thick fog, blurred and indistinct. He could only see his own body lying on the bed.

It felt like being in a dream—his awareness drifting in midair, as though it might leave his body at any moment and drift off to some unknown place.

But Li Xuanba did not want to leave.

He used every ounce of his strength to move closer to his body, trying to return to it.

His consciousness touched his body—then was repelled.

It was as if that body was no longer his, but some rotting flesh found who‑knows‑where, no longer able to contain him.

With each attempt and rejection, his awareness grew more and more blurred, more and more drowsy.

Just as his consciousness was about to sink into sleep, the gray, lifeless color of his body became vivid again, allowing his nearly vanished awareness to enter.

He opened his eyes once more.

Before he could speak, Yuwen Zhu hurriedly said, “Third Young Master, you’re still alive.”

Li Xuanba smiled faintly and complained, “What kind of medicine is this? It tastes so strange.”

Yuwen Zhu helped him sit up. “Good medicine tastes bitter. Hold on a little longer—Third Young Master will soon get better.”

“Alright,” Li Xuanba said with a smile.

He drank the medicine, then some meat broth, and fell asleep again.

After some time, his consciousness was pushed out of his body once more.

This time, when he awoke, his awareness was much clearer. So again he stubbornly forced himself toward his gray, dim body—rejected again and again, until his consciousness grew dull from the repeated impacts.

Until he opened his eyes yet again.

“Third Young Master, you’re alive—very much alive!” Yuwen Zhu said.

This time, when Li Xuanba opened his eyes, he saw someone unexpected.

“Physician Sun?”

Sun Simiao said, “Hold on. You could endure it when you were young—now you can endure it again.”

“Mm,” Li Xuanba replied.

He could no longer tell whether this was reality or a dream.

How could Physician Sun suddenly appear by his side? It was too strange.

But he firmly believed that if he could see Zhuniang, then this must be real. Dreams were born of imagination—and even though he dared to dream of becoming sworn brothers with Qin Shi Huang, Han Wudi, Tang Taizong, and Ming Taizu, he had never dared to imagine marrying a wonderful woman.

Because that kind of happiness was too real.

Physician Sun told him to hold on, but Li Xuanba did not know what “holding on” was supposed to mean.

Perhaps it meant lingering around his own body like a resentful spirit, refusing to leave?

He felt his consciousness growing weaker and weaker. Even the moment of leaving his body now exhausted him.

Consciousness was not supposed to feel pain—yet gradually, he began to feel stabbing agony.

It was as though he had used up all his strength and had begun to consume his very awareness itself.

The sensation was like needles piercing him, then a comb tearing his body apart.

Ah… he was about to fall apart.

Li Xuanba imagined curling himself into a ball, crying out in pain.

It hurts so much… maybe I should just give up.

“Third Brother, you’re still alive… still alive,” Yuwen Zhu wept. “Open your eyes and look at me… look at me!”

Li Xuanba didn’t know how many times he had opened his eyes.

His vision was blurry, his throat burned like fire, and his chest felt as though a huge stone pressed down on it. Even moving a finger was difficult.

This time, even speaking was hard, but he could finally feel the strange sensations in his body.

Better to feel pain… better to feel pain.

If he could feel it, he knew he was truly alive—not dreaming.

Li Xuanba forced himself to blink at Yuwen Zhu and even managed a faint smile.

Yuwen Zhu brushed the loose strands of hair behind his ears and lowered her head to lightly kiss his eyes.

“Third Brother, I’m here. You’re still alive,” Yuwen Zhu also forced a smile. “See? You’re awake longer now. You’ll get better soon.”

Li Xuanba felt slightly embarrassed and looked away, then returned his gaze to Yuwen Zhu’s face.

“Third Brother is shy!”

An untimely voice piped up.

Li Xuanba glimpsed, out of the corner of his eye, Li Zhiyun, whose eyes were swollen from crying.

Li Zhiyun said to Luo Shixin, “Third Brother will glare at me again. He’s really getting better!”

Luo Shixin wiped his own tears and nodded.

Li Xuanba sighed helplessly.

Why was Xiao Wu still so unreliable? Sigh… there was no helping it. Xiao Wu was still young and couldn’t handle things well.

Li Xuanba closed his eyes and gathered his courage once more.

Though the pain in his consciousness intensified, he could still endure it. He would endure it.

Brother, I’m not dead yet. I’m still fighting. You must stay calm.

…

Li Shimin woke up from his dream.

Changsun Kangning was covering him with a blanket. Seeing him awake, she asked, “Another nightmare?”

Li Shimin sat up. “No. I didn’t dream, that’s why I woke up.”

Changsun Kangning’s lips moved, unsure what to say, and she could only bow her head.

Li Shimin turned to comfort his wife: “Don’t worry. I’m fine. A-Xuan will definitely be fine too.”

Changsun Kangning nodded vigorously.

Li Shimin said, “You should rest now. I’ll keep watch.”

If any thief dared to harm A-Xuan, they might also target him, so Li Shimin had his subordinates take turns keeping watch.

He could have skipped the night watch, but if he couldn’t sleep, sitting in vigil and staring quietly was better than lying down and dreaming through a black void.

Saying he hadn’t dreamed wasn’t true; his dream had been pitch black.

The feeling of knowing you’re dreaming but being unable to dream anything was truly miserable.

Though Changsun Kangning wanted to stay with him, she had to ride with Li Shimin during the day. If she lacked energy, she’d slow them down, so she forced herself to sleep.

Li Shimin walked to the campfire where Qin Qiong was roasting hardtack.

“Share half with me,” Li Shimin said.

Qin Qiong broke off a piece of the charred biscuit. “Coarse wheat cake… can you eat this, my lord?”

Li Shimin replied, “Isn’t this common food on a march or in battle?”

He gnawed at the hardtack with ease; his teeth were strong enough that he didn’t need to soften it with water.

Seeing Li Shimin act so normally, Qin Qiong opened and closed his mouth several times, hesitating before swallowing his words.

Li Shimin finished half a piece and took a sip of water to moisten his throat.

Wiping the water from his mouth, he said, “Say whatever’s on your mind. Don’t hem and haw—it makes it uncomfortable to watch.”

Qin Qiong shook his head. “I don’t know what to say.”

Even though he had only recently met Li Shimin and Li Xuanba, he understood the pain of losing a beloved brother.

When Qin Qiong’s childhood cousins passed away, he had been grief-stricken for days, unable to sleep. How much more so for a lord whose third brother was in danger.

It wasn’t just Qin Qiong; many wanted to console Li Shimin. But he behaved so normally that it made it difficult for anyone to speak.

Li Shimin smiled. “Don’t know what to say… probably words like ‘my condolences’ or ‘Third Brother will be fine’.”

Qin Qiong was silent for a moment, then nodded. “I know it’s useless to say, but not saying anything feels wrong too. My lord, if it’s hard, you don’t have to pretend to be calm.”

Li Shimin shook his head. “I’m not pretending. I firmly believe A-Xuan will be fine. Besides, we’re in chaos right now; everyone is unsettled. I must remain calm.”

He took another sip of cold water, his eyes a little dazed as he stared at the fire.

“I once discussed with A-Xuan while studying history what qualities a lord should have.”

“We concluded, simply, that a lord must be the backbone. If he stays calm, his subordinates won’t panic.”

“Liu Bang was shot in the chest on the battlefield but covered his foot and shouted, ‘The enemy hit my toe!’ That’s probably why.”

The fire flickered, blurring his vision. Li Shimin rubbed his eyes.

“Everyone knows I should be grieving and in pain right now. So I mustn’t lose my composure. If I only focus on crying, who will lead you? I’m the lord—I can’t expect my subordinates to lead me, the lord.”

Li Shimin smiled and tossed the water gourd to Qin Qiong. “Don’t you agree?”

Qin Qiong bowed his head and remained silent for a long moment, then drank half the gourd in one go. The heroic way he did it looked as if he were drinking strong wine.

Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, Qin Qiong said solemnly, “My lord speaks wisely.”

Li Shimin stood, patted Qin Qiong’s shoulder, and stretched. “I’ll stand in for you. Go rest now. You need energy to guard me if we encounter bandits on the road.”

Qin Qiong said, “Yes, my lord.”

He left the fire. Just as he was about to enter the tent, he glanced back.

Li Shimin stood by the fire, staring into the flames, lost in thought, seemingly unaware of anything else.

Two days later, Li Shimin met Yu Shinan, who had come to deliver an imperial edict, on the official road.

Yu Shinan asked in surprise, “Erlang, why are you here?”

Li Shimin cupped his hands and said, “Li Yuanji falsely accused me and A-Xuan. I’m heading to Zhuo County to clarify matters before His Majesty.”

Yu Shinan let out a sigh of relief. He had feared that Li Erlang had been so angered by the false accusation that he might rebel.

“And Sanlang? Is he with you? Or still in Hedong?” Yu Shinan glanced behind Li Shimin.

Lowering his head, Li Shimin said, “When A-Xuan was placed under house arrest by Prefect Ding, bandits set fire. His fate is unknown.”

Yu Shinan’s body swayed; his vision darkened, and he almost fell.

Li Shimin quickly steadied him. “Teacher Yu, A-Xuan is surely safe. He will be fine!”

Yu Shinan murmured, still dazed: “Yes, yes… that child Sanlang is clever and resourceful. He must have planned everything thoroughly. Nothing will happen… Erlang…”

Yu Shinan’s gaze fell on Li Shimin’s face.

The icy look in Li Shimin’s eyes made his heart ache.

Words of comfort caught in Yu Shinan’s throat and turned into a long sigh: “I’ll go back with you. Sanlang will surely be fine.”

Li Shimin said, “I want to see His Majesty as soon as possible.”

Yu Shinan said, “We’ll ride back together. The others can come at a slower pace.”

He calmed down, and his eyes fell on a young woman in the group.

Yu Shinan said, “Your wife isn’t used to forced marches yet. Let her travel slowly with my men. I know you worry about her safety. Although the world is in chaos, no one dares to seize an imperial edict.”

At present, the Sui dynasty still held its power, and its army remained strong. If Yang Guang decided to crush a rebel general, it would be easy with a large army. Seizing an edict would openly challenge Yang Guang’s authority and make the offender a target.

Li Shimin also noticed that Changsun Kangning was unwell.

He had previously been unwilling to leave her in Taiyuan, which was why he had insisted on traveling together. Now, with Sui soldiers protecting them and knowing that, as his brother predicted, Yang Guang would not punish them, there was no need to rush.

Li Shimin said to Qin Qiong, “You stay behind. I leave Guanyin’s safety in your hands.”

Qin Qiong clasped his fists and said solemnly, “Rest assured, my lord.”

Li Shimin said, “I trust you completely.”

He then approached Changsun Kangning. “Guanyin, you’ve worked hard. From here, take your time. I’ll wait for you in Zhuo County.”

Changsun Kangning didn’t insist on continuing with Li Shimin. She only said reluctantly, “When we reach Zhangye, I want to practice riding. Lord, teach me!”

Li Shimin smiled and nodded. “Very well. I’ll pick the most beautiful horse for you. Hangu.”

A golden eagle descended from the sky.

Li Shimin patted Hangu’s head. “Stay close to Guanyin.”

Hangu nodded miserably.

Wu Di also landed from the sky, perching on Li Shimin’s shoulder and calling out a few times.

Li Shimin said, “A-Xuan has other matters. He’ll meet us in Zhangye. Behave.”

Wu Di didn’t seem to fully understand the complex words but flew back into the sky without fuss.

Li Shimin turned to Yu Shinan. “Teacher, let’s go.”

Yu Shinan looked at Li Shimin, unchanged from before, and sighed: “Very well.”

…

“Physician Sun, why are you here?”

After waking countless times, Li Xuanba could finally speak again.

His throat was hoarse from swallowing so many strange, pungent medicines, turning his originally clear voice into one rough as during a voice change.

Sun Simiao said, “I had originally planned to attend your and Zhuniang’s wedding, but a patient detained me. So I went to Luoyang to visit the Yuwen family and deliver a gift in advance.”

Yuwen Bi’s native place was Luoyang. Although the family had moved to Daxing, relatives still watched over the ancestral home in Luoyang.

Sun Simiao had thought about going to Taiyuan but feared he would arrive too late, after Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu had returned to Zhangye.

So he went to Luoyang, handed the gift to those guarding the Yu ancestral home, asking them to pass it to Yuwen Bi, then forward it to Yuwen Zhu.

With the empire in chaos, Sun Simiao, though traveling, dared not stray too far, moving only between the two capitals.

The Yu family knew he was Zhuniang’s teacher and warmly invited him to stay temporarily.

Seeing there was nothing amiss, he stayed at the Yu ancestral home, waiting for a reply from Yuwen Zhu.

He thought that wherever he went could be called seclusion, so he might as well follow his disciple and help Li Xuanba recuperate.

Witnessing the increasingly chaotic world, Sun Simiao felt some despair, thinking his medical skills were useless. Perhaps by staying close to Li Erlang and Sanlang, he could still contribute to the ambitions of these two boys.

After briefly recounting his journey, he said, “After I arrived in Luoyang, I had a few encounters with Wei Xuancheng. As soon as you got here, he sent someone to invite me. Luckily, I came in time.”

Li Xuanba asked, puzzled, “Why did Wei Xuancheng go to Luoyang?”

Wei Zheng said, “It’s close to Luoyang. I would disguise myself to buy supplies and gather intelligence. Both Physician Sun and I are Taoists, so I went to pay my respects.”

The Wagang Camp was very close to Luoyang, causing trouble right under the Sui army’s nose.

Although Wei Zheng now followed Wang Bo, he would eventually return to his true lord. Knowing that Physician Sun was familiar with Li Erlang and Sanlang, he naturally sought a cordial visit to establish good relations for the future.

Luckily, he knew in advance that Physician Sun was in Luoyang.

Sun Simiao said, “Fortunately, Zhuniang fed you the medicine I previously prepared with glycerin. I don’t know which component saved your life. Otherwise, even I would have been powerless.”

What Sun Simiao didn’t mention was that even he didn’t fully understand how he had dragged Li Xuanba back from death’s door. Li Xuanba’s heart had stopped at one point, and by all conventional knowledge, he should have been beyond saving.

He and Yuwen Zhu had used entirely untested formulas, pouring into Li Xuanba’s mouth anything the medical texts said was good for the heart, disregarding all else.

He didn’t even fully understand the effects of the medicine he was using. The fact that Li Xuanba could actually be saved by them was nothing short of a miracle.

Li Xuanba frowned in confusion. “Glycerin?”

He recalled that Yuwen Zhu had once mentioned how it seemed that Doctor Sun had used glycerin to “refine elixirs,” and had even blown up the alchemy furnace a few times.

But all experienced alchemists had ample experience with furnace explosions, so Doctor Sun had emerged completely unharmed, leaving only Yuwen Zhu terrified out of her wits.

Glycerin… heart…

Cold sweat broke out on Li Xuanba’s forehead.

Could it be that Doctor Sun had accidentally produced nitroglycerin?!

Although he suspected he had myocarditis, without a detailed hospital diagnosis, he couldn’t be sure.

Nitroglycerin was not only a powerful explosive—it was also a highly effective medicine for relieving angina and heart failure. Many heart conditions come with angina or heart failure, and nitroglycerin could keep someone alive temporarily, allowing further treatment afterward.

So… Li Xuanba looked at the perfectly unharmed Sun Simiao, his gaze filled with complexity.

Sun Simiao, puzzled, asked, “What’s wrong? Not feeling well? Let me take a look.”

He checked Li Xuanba’s pulse.

Li Xuanba closed his eyes, both admiring and feeling deep trepidation.

To think someone could produce nitroglycerin in an alchemy furnace…

Doctor Sun, you’re incredible.

You nearly blew yourself—and my wife—sky-high.