LOT – Chapter 74 A Trade for a Trade—Fair and Square!

Lin Mo was now in full awe of the Princess Consort of Prince Xin.

But she was still curious about one thing. 【”System, how much can the Emperor’s underpants fetch on the market? They must be more expensive than a prince’s, right?”】

Everyone perked up at this question, just as curious.

Even Emperor Xuande himself was intrigued. He figured his would definitely go for more—he was the Emperor, after all.

System: 【”No, no, no. The Emperor’s underpants actually sell for less than the princes’. His are just a piece of cloth with three holes in them. No one knows how he even made that happen.”】

“Pfft!” Someone in the audience almost failed to stifle their laughter.

Lin Mo’s face twitched wildly. A piece of cloth with three holes? She definitely wasn’t thinking anything weird! Definitely not!

The Crown Prince unconsciously reached back to touch his own butt. Even if your pants rub against the sides, you’d only get two holes max. Where’d the third one come from?

After court, Lin Mo happily put the matter out of her mind along with the system. Meanwhile, the Emperor and Prince Xin both went to look for their wives.

“His Majesty’s down to his last few pairs of underpants. We need to find a way to replenish them,” the Empress held a meeting with the concubines in Fengyi Palace. To outsiders, it might’ve seemed like they were discussing national affairs.

Concubine De sighed. “But I really can’t bear to part with my good fabric. You all know His Majesty’s personality—once something goes into his hands, it rarely comes back out. All the rewards I get from him are just his calligraphy. It takes up space and isn’t worth much.”

All the concubines sighed in agreement.

They’d never imagined that being a consort could be like this. Outsiders might think they lived in luxury and were waited on hand and foot, but that was all surface-level glamour.

Just as Emperor Xuande walked in, he overheard his wives earnestly discussing how to make the underpants trade a sustainable business.

Emperor Xuande: …You’re seriously talking about this? And you can’t even spare me a piece of fabric? So you’re all just trying to ship things out, not bring anything in, huh?

“My dear consorts seem to be quite… spirited. I was wondering why my clothes have been vanishing. Turns out they’ve all been taken by you ladies.”

His sudden voice scared the women out of their wits.

In an instant, the whole room dropped to their knees.

“Forgive us, Your Majesty. We were only trying to make ends meet,” the Empress knelt at the front.

Emperor Xuande slapped the table and shouted angrily: “Then why didn’t you tell me?! How could you do such a profitable thing without me?!”

The concubines: ???

So that’s what you’re angry about? Wait—Your Majesty, do you even remember who you are?!

Eunuch Li bent over and subtly covered his face with his sleeve: Oh my, His Majesty is becoming more and more shameless!

Meanwhile, Prince Xin returned home to find his wife working on her accounts.

She simply glanced at him and told him to go play somewhere else.

Prince Xin: …Why do I feel like you’re looking down on me? We’re married, you know!

“I heard you’re helping the palace ladies sell my royal brother’s underpants,” Prince Xin finally worked up the nerve to say it after a long pause.

Princess Consort Xin didn’t even look up as she said, “Yes, is there a problem?”

Prince Xin cautiously looked at his wife’s face and said, “Well, aren’t you afraid that His Majesty might hold it against you?”

The princess consort directly pushed away his big head and replied calmly, “Don’t worry, he won’t. Her Majesty the Empress already said she’ll take full responsibility.”

“If you have nothing better to do, take your son and daughter out for a stroll. Don’t bother me here—I still have accounts to settle.”

Prince Xin was promptly pushed out of the room, and the door slammed shut right in his face.

Prince Xin: …Do I even have any status left in this household?

Ever since his leg had healed, his status had steadily declined. The princess consort used to treat him quite gently, but after his recovery, she had become much fiercer.

Sigh, life was just too difficult!

Meanwhile, Lin Mo and the system were blissfully unaware of what was happening in the palace and the prince’s residence, because they were out on the streets “eating melons” (gossiping).

“Ahhhh! Stop chasing me! I didn’t mean to step on your bone!”

Lin Mo lifted her skirts and ran frantically, with a big yellow dog chasing right behind her.

This was how things unfolded: On her way home, Lin Mo saw two aunties arguing on the street. Naturally, she squeezed into the crowd to get the latest gossip.

But because she was small, she got shoved aside and ended up flying forward. At the very moment she fell, she accidentally kicked the dog’s bone that was lying nearby.

And that’s how this whole mess began.

As for her two pigs? Well, they had already abandoned her without hesitation, frolicking lovingly with each other.

The system, never missing a chance to stir things up, shouted: 【Run! Run! It’s about to catch up! It’s going to bite your butt!】

Lin Mo, uncharacteristically agile, scrambled up a nearby tree just as the dog was about to nip her backside.

【Oh my god! Who would’ve thought gossiping could be so dangerous! That rake (nickname for one of the pigs) is totally disloyal!】

Clinging to the trunk and panting, Lin Mo felt like she had just used up every ounce of strength in her body—she had never run so fast in her life.

The dog below kept barking non-stop, and Lin Mo instinctively pulled her legs up higher.

System: 【Actually, you don’t need to be this scared. I could activate the protection mechanism for you. That way, no matter how much the dog bites you, it won’t hurt.】

Lin Mo: 【And then everyone will see me being blank-faced while a dog savagely bites me—is that normal?!】

So the girl and the system started chatting in the tree, while the dog stubbornly stood guard below, refusing to leave.

Half an hour later, Lin Mo was lying on the branch with a ghastly expression: 【System! I need to poop, what do I do! I really can’t hold it anymore! Can’t you do something to make this dog leave?!】

The system thought about it for a second and then seriously suggested: 【How about you just pull your pants down and go right here? Didn’t you say dogs eat poop? You kicked its bone, now give it something in return—fair trade.】

Lin Mo was silent for three seconds before she broke down and shouted at the system: 【Are you serious?! You want me to poop here in broad daylight?! What about my dignity?!】

Just then, Wei Zheng’an and Qin Zheng passed by: …

So that familiar voice really was the little devil on the tree.

But, uh… maybe this wasn’t the best time to show up. Should we take a different route?