LOT -Chapter 287 Your Majesty, Stir-Fry a Dish for Us

The Third Prince huffed angrily. “Who would want to eat this stuff? Why are you sneaking around inside the palace?”

Seeing the two of them skulking about like thieves, they probably thought no one had noticed them. Their father and mother likely knew exactly where they were.

Lin Mo grinned and whispered, “We snuck in, but don’t worry—we already told the Empress beforehand. We’re just here to pick some vegetables and grab a bite to eat. Do you two want to join us?”

Pick vegetables and eat? The Second and Third Prince exchanged a look.

Vegetables inside the inner palace weren’t something just anyone could touch—they were treasured by the consorts.

As expected, everything becomes an exception when it involves Lord Xiao Lin.

As for joining… well, since they’d been invited, refusing would be rude. The two answered without hesitation.

After all, they were following to get some good food. Every time they came to the palace, the meals were somehow worse than what they had at home. Their father clearly wasn’t poor anymore, yet still pinched pennies over meals.

“We’re in! So what are you doing now?”

Bai Xiao: “Stealing vegetables!”

Before long, two little thieves became four little thieves. Whatever tasty food the imperial kitchen had prepared, they grabbed one of everything. As they stuffed things into their arms, they exclaimed:

“There’s so much delicious stuff! Looks like His Majesty really does put effort into eating well!”

“Grab that roast chicken! And that roasted pig’s trotter! And that plate of ribs!”

The four of them swept through the place like raiders pillaging a village, emptying out all the good dishes. Then they snuck back to the palace hall they had chosen.

It was the first time the Second and Third Prince had experienced something like this—they were actually a little excited.

Even though they knew that being with these two meant there was no risk of being caught, the thrill was still… very thrilling.

Meanwhile, on the Empress’s side, she received the report. Regarding her two silly sons, she simply thought:

“Let them be. The second and third child know their limits.”

But when the four troublemakers returned to the hall, they discovered an unexpected guest.

The Emperor was crouched by their pot, happily eating—but he had his back to them, and he wasn’t wearing his dragon robe.

After picking the vegetables, Lin Mo and Bai Xiao had immediately started cooking. They’d brought spices from home because they’d originally planned to have hotpot. Hotpot required no skill—just pour the fried seasoning into the pot and toss everything in.

Seeing her pot scraped clean, Lin Mo froze, then exploded.

“My vegetables! Who are you?! Why are you stealing my food?!”

She lunged forward, ready to attack. The Second and Third Prince panicked and grabbed her.

“Calm down! Calm down! Even if you’re angry, don’t start hitting people!”

They recognized their father’s silhouette instantly. How could their imperial father be stealing a girl’s food? Truly shameful.

Lin Mo raged, “Why shouldn’t I hit him! I worked so hard picking those vegetables—washed every single leaf—and he stole them!”

Bai Xiao held her back and reminded her in her mind, 【Calm down, calm down—that person is the Emperor, not some random guy.】

Lin Mo stared at him: !!! THE EMPEROR?! Why is the Emperor stealing my food?!

There were so many good things in the imperial kitchen—why didn’t he go there?

【Wuwuwu who’s ever heard of an Emperor stealing food from a young lady?! Too much!】

Xuan De Emperor was a little embarrassed. He had asked around and came over, but didn’t see anyone—only a pot of fragrant food. He couldn’t resist.

And honestly, once the vegetables simmered, they tasted unexpectedly delicious.

Looking at Lin Mo’s heartbroken expression, then at his two sons’ meaningful looks, the Emperor coughed awkwardly and stood up.

“You’re back. You can’t leave a fire unattended like that. What if something caught fire?”

“I was just taking a walk and happened to pass by. Saw the fire, so I stayed to keep watch.”

Lin Mo: 【…Why do I feel like His Majesty’s skin is rather thick? Watching the fire? He was watching the FOOD!】

They had even dug a trench and poured water around the fire to prevent accidents. Nothing was going to catch fire.

Watch if you want, but don’t steal the food! What, was the food the payment for his ‘services’?

The Second Prince whispered to the Third Prince, “Father’s skin is too thick. He ate everything and made up an excuse.”

The Third Prince nodded vigorously. “Exactly.”

The Emperor: …Could you speak any louder? Do you think I can’t hear you?!

Lin Mo looked at her empty pot, then at the vegetable patch. Fortunately, there were still plenty left.

Fine. If the Emperor ate it, he ate it. Could she beat up the Emperor? Probably not…

“Your Majesty, since you’re here, then join us for the meal. But if you want to eat, you have to work—someone needs to wash and pick vegetables. And you’re the elder here, so you can’t just sit around.”

She shoved a spatula into the Emperor’s hand.

“Your Majesty, do you know how to stir-fry? Why don’t you make two dishes?”

The Emperor: …Give you an inch and you climb a mountain. You really dare ask the Emperor to cook for you?

He paused for two seconds, then said, “I don’t know how to cook. I only know how to eat.”

Even when he had been poor in the past, he had never cooked. There were always servants—even back then. And what Emperor ever personally stir-fried a dish?

Lin Mo grumbled inwardly: 【Then what use is he? Is he really just waiting to eat?】

Bai Xiao reminded her, 【Mo Mo, be careful. This is the Emperor, not a random uncle.】

Lin Mo answered, 【What’s there to be afraid of? He’s not some villain. And look at his outfit—he clearly snuck over. He’s the elder, we’re the juniors—elders should take care of their juniors. That’s perfectly reasonable.】

The Second and Third Prince mentally applauded. Yes. A senior taking care of a junior—no problem at all.

The Emperor: …You really can justify anything. Just because I’m kind, huh?

But indeed—he was kind. Still, he truly could not cook.

Chapter 288 Why Go Through a Dog Hole When There’s a Perfectly Good Gate

In the end, the emperor still didn’t get to take action—he was sent off to pick vegetables.

Bai Xiao was in charge of cooking. After all, his performance depended on fate; maybe today he’d get lucky.

The Second and Third Princes went to wash the vegetables, and Lin Mo went to fetch firewood—everyone had something to do.

The vegetables brought from the imperial kitchen were set aside; after all, there was a large stone table in the palace, big enough for all of them.

While everyone was bustling about, Xin Wang—still panicking after stealing two ducks under the emperor’s orders—was frantically looking for someone.

“Your Highness, where are you?!” He had just been here a moment ago; how could he disappear so quickly? Was the emperor’s lightness skill really that good?

Xin Wang was almost at his wit’s end, having to dodge palace maids and eunuchs while searching for him.

After searching for nearly half an hour without finding him—and almost getting caught—Xin Wang could only return home with the two ducks. He couldn’t be blamed; his elder brother had disappeared in an instant.

Who dares linger so long in the palace, and as a duck thief, no less? If caught, he’d be laughed at endlessly.

Meanwhile, while picking vegetables, the emperor felt like he was forgetting something, but he couldn’t quite remember what.

He probably hadn’t forgotten anything; after all, his memory was pretty good. Oh well, better just focus on the vegetables—there would be delicious food soon, and he wouldn’t have to think about other messy things.

(Xin Wang: “…So apparently, I’m the ‘messy thing’.”)

Today, Xiao Bai’s performance in cooking was excellent—frying, stewing, steaming—everything went perfectly. Lin Mo stood beside him, showering him with endless praise.

“Xiao Bai, your skills are getting better and better! I feel like you’ve already surpassed my father!”

“Xiao Bai, a man who cooks is the handsomest! You’re the most handsome in my heart!”

“A man who works is the most useful! You’re the most useful man! I give you a thumbs-up!”

Listening to this stream of compliments, the three royal men were utterly dumbfounded.

Compliments don’t cost anything, do they? It’s just cooking—why so much praise? And Xiao Bai… can you control that smile? Your grin is practically reaching the heavens.

Xiao Bai outwardly remained modest, but inside he was bursting with excitement.

[Keep praising me, keep praising me! I’ve been practicing my cooking hard lately. Though I still cook according to fate, Heaven has been kind to me.]

Lin Mo: [Yes, yes! You’re really charming now, truly my Xiao Bai!]

Bai Xiao: [Of course!]

The three royal men standing nearby: …I feel like we don’t belong here.

The Third Prince looked at Bai Xiao, feeling extremely frustrated. He had never been praised like this by a princess consort before. She would only call him cute.

Others would always complain that he was clingy, that he was too sticky and bothersome.

He’s not sticky or bothersome! He’s clingy because he likes her. He also wished he could be praised like this by a princess consort.

This meal turned out to be surprisingly impressive. Bai Xiao was sweating profusely, yet his smile never faded.

“Come, come! Time to eat! Hurry and taste my skills!”

Master Xiao Bai wiped his face with a handkerchief, striking an effortlessly elegant pose.

Today’s cooking was truly his best yet—perfect in color, aroma, and taste. The fragrance could probably be smelled outside the palace.

The emperor took the first bite, and his eyes lit up. Delicious!

Seeing the emperor start eating, the others quickly followed, especially the Second and Third Princes.

They were starving, having only eaten a white jade bun and a coarse-grain steamed bun earlier, and after all the hard work and waiting, their stomachs were practically growling.

Lin Mo ate with a face full of enjoyment. Seeing the Second and Third Princes gobbling food, she calmly said, “Don’t eat so fast; it’s not good for your stomach.”

[Sigh, the Second and Third Princes look like they haven’t eaten in 800 years.]

Bai Xiao: [Maybe it’s because they were really hungry.]

This meal was thoroughly satisfying. After finishing, everyone sat on the floor, completely disregarding decorum. Plenty of food remained on the table. Lin Mo wanted to pack some to take home, but the emperor stopped her.

“Minister Lin, how could you take leftovers home? After the bumpy journey, the food would be inedible.”

Lin Mo looked at the remaining food and considered the journey they had taken. Indeed, they couldn’t carry that much. Mixing it together would ruin the flavors, so it was better left behind.

Seeing Lin Mo hesitate, the emperor suggested, “Leave it here. Reward the palace maids and eunuchs with it—then it won’t be wasted.”

Lin Mo thought that made sense. As long as it wasn’t wasted, it was fine. After all, it was a lot of good food, and it would be a shame to throw it all away.

“Alright then. Emperor, please reward the palace maids and eunuchs with these dishes. It’s getting late; we should head back. We’ll come again next time.”

The emperor and the Second and Third Princes smiled and nodded. Just when they thought Lin Mo and Bai Xiao would exit through the palace’s main gate, the two lifted their skirts, crouched down, and went through the dog hole.

The three men’s smiles instantly froze: …Is this really how you came in?

A perfectly good gate, and they had to go through this hole?

After Lin Mo went out, she even poked her head back in and said, “Emperor, don’t block this dog hole yet. You could have more guards stationed here, in case an assassin sneaks in. Next time I come, I’ll use this dog hole again; the palace gate is just too far—it’s more convenient this way.”

The Xuande Emperor twitched his mouth, at a loss for words. Just a few extra steps, and this hole… who uses this? Only dogs!

He waved helplessly, signaling that he understood. This little rascal’s thoughts were impossible to predict.

It had truly been a wonderful day. On the way home, Bai Xiao even helped some people read their fortunes, earning a little extra money.

“Hahaha, life is just too beautiful like this!”

Bai Xiao: “Absolutely! Come on, let’s buy some pastries—we should bring snacks back when we go out.”

The two happily went off to buy pastries, while the three royal men in the palace were left pondering over the leftover food.

The Third Prince thoughtfully said, “Why don’t I take these leftovers home? They’re really delicious. I don’t mind if they’re leftovers.”

The Second Prince gave him a sharp look, thinking, Nice dream.