LOT – Chapter 13 The Third Prince’s Many Embarrassments — Shamelessness Is Key to Chasing a Wife!

Lin Mo didn’t notice the expressions of the others. Right now, she was just curious about how exactly the third prince’s “lack of intelligence” manifested.

[System, how do you know the third prince isn’t very smart? What exactly has he done?]

System: [It’s not like he’s done anything major. When he was a kid, he didn’t want to go to school, so he copied one of the concubines in the harem and pretended to be sick. But the thing is, that concubine was faking a pregnancy. So when she vomited, he vomited too. When she felt unwell, he acted the same. The concubine went to the emperor and claimed the baby in her belly was kicking her—so the third prince also went to his father and said the baby in his belly was kicking him. The emperor just stared at him in silence… and the next second, the boy got his butt whipped. He was five at the time.]

Lin Mo’s facial muscles trembled violently. [Hahahaha! What kind of comedic genius is this?! There are so many ways to pretend to be sick—why did he choose to fake a pregnancy?! Hahahaha!]

“Pfft!”

The civil and military officials were all pinching their thighs hard, doing their best not to burst out laughing.

The third prince’s face turned crimson, even his neck was red. He looked just like a boiled crawfish.

It was the first time the crown prince and the second prince had heard about this too. The two of them were struggling to hold back their laughter, nostrils flaring from the effort.

They always knew their younger brother wasn’t the sharpest, but they hadn’t realized he was this dense.

Emperor Xuande’s mouth was twitching wildly. He still remembered this incident clearly. The concubine involved had eventually been banished to the Cold Palace, but this foolish little son of his really had pulled off something utterly absurd.

I mean, couldn’t he have just faked a cold or something? Why pregnancy, of all things?

He remembered that at the time, he’d been reviewing memorials when the tiny third prince had rushed in and said in a weak voice, “Father, feel my belly—is the baby in there kicking me?”

Xuande had been drinking tea then and had immediately spat it out. Eunuch Li’s jaw nearly hit the floor.

But thanks to the third prince’s antics, the emperor ended up paying more attention to that “pregnant” concubine and ultimately discovered that she’d been faking it to gain favor.

Now, Lin Mo suddenly found herself very intrigued by the third prince. She wanted to know what other hilarious things he’d done.

[System, has the third prince done anything else that shows his… lack of smarts? I bet there’s plenty.]

The emperor and all the officials immediately perked up their ears, ready to listen. Only the third prince looked like he wanted to dig a hole and disappear into it.

Why are you all so obsessed with my embarrassing stories?! Out of all these people, why me?! If I’d known this would happen, I never would’ve opened my mouth earlier!

The third prince was full of regret now. If only he’d stayed quiet…

But the system had no idea what the third prince was thinking—it was already digging up more of his legendary “great deeds.”

[Oh, the third prince has tons of dumb moments. When he was six, he started learning how to draw. One day, the teacher was teaching them to draw turtles, and he ended up drawing a wangba (a slang term for turtle, also a curse meaning “bastard”). He got obsessed with it. From then on, he stopped signing his name on his homework and just drew a wangba instead. The crown prince and second prince would always sign their names properly, but he’d just doodle a turtle in the name field every time.]

Lin Mo immediately pictured the scene in her mind. [Hahahaha! So he basically saw himself as a turtle?]

The civil and military officials were already tearing up from holding in their laughter. But even so, they had to keep up appearances and pretend they were seriously discussing national affairs. It wasn’t easy—truly, it wasn’t easy!

Third Prince: ##&\

[And there’s more! When he was seven, he wet the bed one night, but he was afraid of being found out. So he swapped bedding with the Second Prince and then ran off to accuse him of wetting the bed first. But he didn’t bother changing his own clothes, so everyone saw him standing there in wet pants while pointing fingers at the Second Prince.]

Emperor Xuande covered his face and wiped away the tears that had leaked from laughing so hard.

He hadn’t known about this particular incident—but his silly youngest son really had gotten up to all kinds of ridiculous things.

The Second Prince also remembered that scene from childhood. At the time, when his younger brother accused him, he’d even doubted himself for a moment—Did I really wet the bed? But then he saw his idiot brother turning away, exposing a completely soaked backside. That feeling in his heart—ugh.

If you’re going to frame me, can’t you at least cover your own tracks properly?!

Look at your soaked pants! The evidence is all over your butt!

Lin Mo glanced at the third prince’s back and suddenly felt that even his silhouette gave off an aura of stupidity.

She had originally thought he was a sly fox hiding behind a smile.

The system was already hyped up and continued: [And there’s more! The way he met the Third Princess Consort was also super unique. She’s the daughter of a genera l—straightforward and a bit scatterbrained. The Third Prince took one look and fell for her, but she liked strong, manly men with a bold and rugged presence. The Third Prince’s looks were way too delicate for her taste.]

[So to prove he was manly, he started showing up in front of her every day doing martial arts routines. But the Princess Consort mistook it as him picking a fight, so every time they met, they ended up actually fighting.]

Lin Mo was losing it. [I’ve never seen anyone try to woo someone like this throughout all of history! What kind of logic does this guy even have?!]

Almost no one knew about this particular love story—not even the emperor, crown prince, or second prince.

Emperor Xuande glanced at his blushing son, feeling the same urge to ask aloud: Is this really how you chase a woman?! No wonder she thought you were there to start a fight!

The Crown Prince and Second Prince exchanged a look of helplessness.

Having such an oblivious younger brother was honestly kind of exhausting. But how had this guy actually won her over?

Lin Mo was wondering the same thing: [So how did the Third Prince manage to get her in the end? Considering they fought every time they saw each other, the way he won her heart must’ve been something else too, right?]

Everyone immediately leaned in to listen. The father of the Third Princess Consort was especially curious. He also remembered that his daughter used to brawl with the Third Prince every time they met—then suddenly one day, the two of them were just… together.

System: [It wasn’t anything that special. The Third Princess Consort accidentally broke one of the Third Prince’s bones during a fight. So the Third Prince took the opportunity to cling to her, insisting she take responsibility. He grabbed her leg while crying his eyes out, saying that now that he was disabled, no one would want him.]

[The Princess Consort thought he looked genuinely pitiful and agreed to take responsibility. And that’s how he got the girl.]

Lin Mo: …

The emperor, crown prince, and second prince: …

The ministers: …

At that moment, everyone had just one thought:

Truly, when one is shameless, one is unbeatable.

Even though the Third Prince was mentally collapsing inside, he still stood by his strategy—It worked, didn’t it? He got the girl! As long as the result is good, who cares about the process?

_{Right, who cares about process when you already have the awesome results.}