LOT – Chapter 105 Third Prince: How am I anything like a rake!

Noticing his imperial father’s gaze, the Third Prince suddenly felt aggrieved.

Was it his fault that he got fat? Gaining a few pounds during the New Year holidays was perfectly normal, wasn’t it? He just happened to gain a few more “three pounds” than others, that’s all.

At home, his wife disliked him for it. At court, even his father disliked him. How was he supposed to live like this!

Lin Mo stared at the Third Prince’s double chin, brimming with curiosity.

【Xiaobai, what do you think the Third Prince’s double chin feels like? I really want to pinch it!】

Lin Mo’s words caused a moment of silence around him, while the Third Prince silently shuffled a few steps away.

The Crown Prince and the Second Prince couldn’t hold back any longer. Looking at their younger brother’s chubby face and protruding belly, they reached out and touched it.

Hmm, the feel was excellent—soft and squishy to the touch.

The Third Prince looked at his two elder brothers with utterly speechless expression. Their faces were solemn, but their hands were still on his stomach.

What was wrong with them! Didn’t they have stomachs of their own? If they wanted to touch one so badly, couldn’t they just get fat themselves and touch their own?

The other ministers inwardly gave thanks that they hadn’t eaten too much over the holidays. Otherwise, ending up like the Third Prince would make losing weight incredibly difficult.

Bai Xiao, brimming with interest, started chatting with Lin Mo about how the Third Prince’s consort disliked him.

【Momo, you don’t even know how much the Third Prince’s consort disdains him. You know she’s from a military family, right? She maintains her figure beautifully. Originally, this marriage only happened because the Third Prince shamelessly pestered her for it. And yet he doesn’t even bother to take care of his face or his body.】

【I think he should learn from your father. Look at him—he’s kept up both his looks and his figure for decades. Practically ageless!】

Minister Lin, eavesdropping from the sidelines: …What does this have to do with me? How did the conversation end up on me again?

Emperor Xuande, sitting above, also cast a look at Minister Lin, filled with envy.

Just what was Lin Huan’s secret to maintaining himself? Over the decades, apart from becoming a little more mature, he hadn’t changed much at all. Could he ask him for some advice?

The Emperor touched his own face and sighed. Recently, he’d gotten a few more wrinkles.

Hearing the system praise her father, Lin Mo felt smug. 【But of course! My father was the number one beauty of the capital back in the day! The Third Prince really ought to lose some weight. What if, when he gets older, his consort is still young and beautiful, while he’s turned into a fat-headed fish? Ugh, just the thought of it is such an eyesore!】

Bai Xiao chimed in enthusiastically: 【Exactly! Just look at the Prime Minister and his wife. The Prime Minister’s wife is still young and beautiful, while the Prime Minister’s face is so wrinkled it looks just like a chrysanthemum.】

The inexplicably dragged-into-it Prime Minister: … What is wrong with the two of you! Why do you keep bringing me into this?!

The Third Prince was starting to feel a real psychological crisis after hearing the two of them talk. He touched his own face, and the image instantly popped into his mind.

No, no, no! He absolutely could not become like that!

The entire morning, the Third Prince was basically in a daze.

While others were lively and engaged in heated discussions about state affairs, he stood there blank-faced, with a faint look of guilt.

Watching from above, Emperor Xuande thought: … What are you daydreaming for in court?!

He was already this fat, and yet still put on such a silly, absent-minded expression—it made him look both foolish and dumb.

Luckily, he was already married. If he weren’t, who would be willing to marry someone like this!

While the others were busy discussing national matters, Bai Xiao and Lin Mo were already devising a grand weight-loss plan.

The Third Prince perked up his ears and listened intently. This was about his handsome face, so he had to study carefully!

Bai Xiao: 【At every meal, eat some coarse grains, exercise more, and cut down on snacks. And those fried treats you like—like fried glutinous rice cakes—stop eating them.】

The Third Prince nearly took out a pen to write it down. Lately, he had been eating fried food the most, so this was something he absolutely had to quit!

Lin Mo, on the other hand, felt extremely troubled listening to the system’s words: 【No way. You can tell me to eat less food, fine, but you can’t possibly forbid me from snacks! Snacks are my life—fried glutinous rice cakes, candied hawthorns, they’re all my favorites.】

At most, she had just gained a few pounds. There was no need to be this exaggeratedly harsh on herself.

But Bai Xiao firmly said: 【No! For the sake of your health, you have to quit all of them during this time!】

Minister Lin and Lin Qi both found it very amusing. Who would have thought that once the system turned into a person, it would actually be useful for managing this little rascal of theirs?

Although, whether it could actually control her was another matter entirely.

After court, Lin Mo immediately rode her pig-pig mount and went out onto the streets in search of food.

Bai Xiao wore out her lips lecturing, but it was no use. As Lin Mo said herself: “My legs are my own. A little extra fat is a blessing.”

At first Bai Xiao was quite angry, but after being given a candied hawthorn skewer, he wasn’t angry anymore.

Nothing in the world was more important than eating. What was a few extra pounds anyway—it wasn’t some huge deal.

The Lin father and son, watching the two of them from behind: …

Forget it. They had overthought it. They thought someone had finally come who could rein in that little rascal, but instead, someone had come to join her in mischief.

Bai Xiao: 【That, that one! That looks delicious! Hurry, go eat that one!】

Lin Mo: 【I’m coming, I’m coming!】

It had to be said, there was one benefit to becoming small: she only needed a tiny bit of food to be satisfied.

In stark contrast to their sweet little life was the Third Prince.

As soon as he went back, he was dragged into exercise by his princess consort. Even Emperor Xuande issued a decree, demanding that he lose the excess flesh and properly uphold the dignity of the royal family.

“I can’t… I can’t! I really can’t run anymore! Can’t we take it step by step? I just heard Lin Mo and the system talking about a weight-loss method—it’s to eat more coarse grains and exercise more. I haven’t even started eating yet!”

The Third Prince looked at his noodle-thin legs, tears almost falling. He had practiced martial arts since childhood, but he still couldn’t compare to his consort, who came from a military family.

The Third Princess Consort snorted coldly and said mercilessly: “If you don’t lose this fat, then don’t bother coming into my courtyard. The bed isn’t big to begin with—when you flop that body of yours on it, where am I supposed to sleep?”

The Third Prince: “Then… can’t we just make the bed bigger?”

The Third Princess Consort: “…No! If you don’t lose weight, I’ll feel embarrassed to take you out. When Eldest Sister-in-law and Second Sister-in-law go out with the Eldest and Second Princes, they look so dignified. But if I go out with you, it’s like Lord Lin going out with his pig plow—it’s utterly mortifying.”

Hearing this, the Third Prince was so angry he actually laughed.

How was he anything like a pig plow! That was a pig! He was the dignified Third Prince!