_{A massive thank youuu to Girl Cherry’s for commissioning this chaotic masterpiece — Let All the Officials Hear My Thoughts; I’m Just Going to Slack Off and Watch the Drama!}
_{Because of your amazing support, we now get to watch Lin Mo slack off in style while spilling royal tea in court. 🍵👑
She just wanted to nap… and accidentally became the empire’s most dangerous melon-eater! 😂}
_{So thank you again, Girl Cherry’s — you’re the real MVP behind the scenes! 💖🍉
Let the drama (and slacking) begin~!}

“What?! You got me a government post?!”

Lin Mo was so shocked by her father’s announcement, she almost spat blood.

She was perfectly happy staying at home—why on earth did she have to go to work?! Yes, attending court was work to her, and she absolutely did not want to go.

“I’m not going! I’m not going! Why isn’t Brother going? Why isn’t Sister going? Why me?!” Lin Mo clung to the doorframe, wailing like someone had died.

Lin Mo was transmigrated into this world as a fetus. In her past life, she was just an ordinary college student. One day, while out shopping, she got caught up in a robbery.

It had nothing to do with her—the robber wasn’t even targeting her. But when she followed the fleeing crowd, she accidentally made eye contact with the robber. Just one look!

Maybe it really was love at first sight—in a deadly way. The robber locked onto her, chased her down, and stabbed her to death.

Talk about an unfair death. The robber was efficient though—one clean stab and she didn’t even feel much pain before she was gone.

Then she reincarnated into this world. At first, she thought it was just ancient times, but she soon realized this was a fictional setting. It had an ancient flavor, but this dynasty never existed in real history.

Most importantly, in this era, women could become officials! It was said that the current emperor was particularly progressive and had opened the civil service exam to women.

There weren’t many female officials yet, but it was a good start. Over time, their numbers would surely grow.

Right now, female officials were mostly treated like mascots at court. In fact, there was only one left—most of the others had resigned after getting married.

After all, this was still a male-dominated society. Once women married, their in-laws didn’t want them showing their faces in public. However, women who had held office gained better reputations and were more understanding of politics, which made them attractive marriage candidates.

Still, after marriage, those same husbands would prefer them to stay home. It was a contradictory mindset that would take time to change.

The last remaining female official was basically an assistant to the court historian—basically a glorified note-taker. But she was about to get married too, so her position was about to be vacated.

As soon as that job opened up, Minister Lin immediately thought of his youngest daughter.

This daughter—he had no idea what went wrong raising her—was nothing like anyone else. Minister Lin had never met someone so shameless in his entire life.

This girl’s greatest hobby was dragging a stool into the maids’ quarters to listen to them gossip about household drama. She did it every single day!

She never did anything proper. Always up to mischief. Driving her parents and siblings crazy was routine. Crying, whining, and rolling on the floor? Daily occurrences.

What kind of noble daughter spent her days listening to gossip and rolling around on the floor?!

Minister Lin truly feared that if he didn’t do something, his daughter would end up a total wreck. With that personality, no one would want to marry her. So he figured it was better to secure her an official post. At least she’d have a future. Plus, she’d never resign, even if she didn’t marry.

And once she was older and couldn’t work anymore, maybe the emperor would give her some kind of honorary retirement for her service.

Most importantly, this job was really easy. She barely had to do anything. Even though she was technically an assistant, the historian was super competent. All Lin Mo had to do was show up and look pretty—like a mascot.

Honestly, Minister Lin had racked his brains for her future.

“Wuwuwuwu, Dad, you’re so biased! Why do I have to work?!”

Lin Mo cried with snot and tears running down her face. She was really happy with her current lifestyle: loving parents who were childhood sweethearts, no concubines or stepmothers, and doting siblings from the same mother.

She just wanted to be a lazy salted fish who ate melon seeds and read gossip novels all day! Live off her parents now, her siblings later, and eventually her nephews and nieces in old age. Perfection!

You could say that transmigrating into this world was like arriving in paradise for Lin Mo!

Sure, there were no computers or smartphones, but life was still carefree and fabulous. For the past decade or so, she had genuinely been having a great time—and had every intention of continuing that way.

But now her old man actually wanted to force her to go to work? That was basically a death sentence!

Minister Lin looked at his shameless daughter rolling around on the floor and couldn’t help but shut his eyes in frustration. He silently repeated to himself: She’s my biological daughter… biological daughter… I can’t beat her to death…

“You little rascal! Your brother will most likely pass the civil service exam this year if nothing goes wrong. Your sister is talented in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting—she’s already well known in the capital and won’t have to worry about marriage at all. But you? Can you pass the exam? Can you even get married?!”

“I can!“ Lin Mo responded without hesitation. “I can get married! Just pick someone for me, Father, and I’ll get married right away!”

Marriage? Not a big deal. Her father had decent taste. As long as the man had good character, she’d marry and go right back to her salted fish lifestyle.

Minister Lin: “…”

You want to get married, but who would you even marry? Minister Lin couldn’t bear to send this little gremlin of a daughter to ruin a decent man’s life. But he also couldn’t bear to throw her into a pit by picking someone subpar.

“Sigh, forget it. You’d better start preparing for your government post. Work hard, and hopefully you’ll have the job for life. That way, even after your mother and I are gone, your brother, sister, nephews, and nieces will have a reason to look after you.”

[System, why am I the only one who has to work? Why don’t my brother and sister have to? Are they targeting me or something?]

This system had only bonded with Lin Mo a few days ago. Ever since then, she’d been dragging it everywhere to chase gossip.

System: [I have no idea either. Maybe your parents just care about you more. Or maybe you’re so lazy they’re afraid you’ll starve to death.]

[That doesn’t make me feel better!]

System: [Relax, the reason I chose you is because you’re lazy. Otherwise, why would I have picked you out of the countless people in the world? You’re the chosen one—the legendary gossip-eating melon spirit!]

[…Why do I feel like that wasn’t a compliment? Are you targeting me too?]

The system gave a cheeky little chuckle and didn’t answer.

By now, everyone was already used to hearing this girl talking to her system. They’d first discovered its existence seven days ago.

At first, they thought they were losing their minds, but then they realized—everyone could hear this girl’s inner thoughts and her conversations with the so-called “system.”

When Minister Lin was arranging for her government post, he had also explained everything about the system to Emperor Xuande in great detail. Surprisingly, the Emperor was quite curious about Lin Mo and her system—and so, without hesitation, he approved this lazy girl’s appointment.