HCT – Chapter 5 The Emperor’s Childhood Bedwetting

After laughing enough, Prince Zichu took a sip of honeyed water to catch his breath and calmed down. “It seems that the trusted aide left to her by Lu Buwei isn’t very smart, nor very loyal.”

The servant replied, “Yes. After that merchant probed the information we deliberately leaked to him, he no longer trusts Lu Buwei.”

“Lu Buwei is a merchant. His trusted aide is also a merchant. Merchants chase profit and slight loyalty—his aide is just like him,” Prince Zichu said indifferently. “Zheng’er is now being raised by Zhu Xiang, and Chunhua is even more foolish than I expected. That puts my mind at ease.”

The servant hesitated but still asked, “Master, given Lord Zhu Xiang’s intelligence, once he learns your identity, he will surely realize this was your scheme. Will he not be angry with you?”

This servant was named Bu. He had followed Prince Zichu from Qin to Zhao, and then back to Qin. He was one of Zichu’s very few close aides.

Before meeting Lu Buwei, Prince Zichu was destitute—he couldn’t even afford a carriage for travel. Bu often worked odd jobs to help with expenses.

To expand his experimental fields and farms, Zhu Xiang often set up hiring stands outside the gates of Handan. Bu went to work in Zhu Xiang’s household.

Despite his difficult situation, Prince Zichu remained ambitious. After hearing Bu talk about Zhu Xiang, he became curious. With slight disguise, he befriended Zhu Xiang under the identity of a fallen scholar fleeing to Handan.

Coincidentally, he was only a year older than Zhu Xiang. Their close ages helped them quickly become friends. He even took a bookkeeping job in Zhu Xiang’s household.

Due to poverty, Zichu had rarely gone out since arriving in Zhao. Everyone knew him as an abandoned prince, and no one visited him. Even when he dined with people like Lin Zhi, no one recognized him.

Who would expect a noble prince to work as a bookkeeper in a commoner’s home? If others found out, they would surely spit in disdain and mock the Qin royal family as uncultured barbarians.

Prince Zichu didn’t care.

He was truly poor at the time. Eating, drinking, and reading for free in Zhu Xiang’s home greatly eased his financial burden. He also discovered a rare talent—face was far less important than that.

Besides, if Lord Xinling of Wei could mingle with commoners in pursuit of talent, why couldn’t a prince of Qin?

Prince Zichu worked as Zhu Xiang’s bookkeeper for three years. After receiving financial backing from Lu Buwei, he cut ties with Zhu Xiang under the pretense of visiting relatives in Qin—worried their friendship might endanger Zhu Xiang.

Although Bu was technically Zichu’s servant, their relationship was closer than that of family, so he spoke freely.

Bu deeply admired Zhu Xiang.

At this time, etiquette and music had collapsed, and anyone with some reputation was respectfully addressed as “Gong” (Lord). Many wealthy merchants called themselves such.

Though Zhu Xiang had never been summoned by the Zhao King, he was well respected by the people. Many farmers called him “Lord Zhu Xiang.” Plus, he was now related by marriage to Zichu, so Bu’s respectful address came from the heart.

Feeling emotionally attached and knowing Zhu Xiang was his master’s only true friend for years, Bu couldn’t help but worry.

Prince Zichu patiently explained, “Bu, a gentleman may be deceived as long as it’s done with integrity. Zhu Xiang is a rare true gentleman. Even if he finds out I set him up, for Zheng’er’s sake, he won’t hold much of a grudge.”

Bu’s mouth twitched.

“To deceive a gentleman with honor”… Master, doesn’t your conscience hurt saying that?

After accepting Lu Buwei’s support, Lu Buwei quickly became demanding—treating Zichu like a rare commodity, even extending his ambitions to Zichu’s next generation. He wanted Zichu to have a child with a concubine Lu gifted him, hoping to secure the Lu family’s wealth and influence for two generations.

Naturally, Zichu refused. Unless he was at absolute rock bottom, he would never yield to such blackmail.

Bu knew his master well.

In another timeline, Zichu only accepted Lu Buwei’s concubine during the Battle of Changping (260 BCE) and fled Zhao before the siege of Handan.

In this timeline, while cautiously entertaining the beautiful women gifted by Lu Buwei, Zichu discovered that one of them was actually Zhu Xiang’s elder sister.

Bu thought his master would reject her or perhaps make her a servant to avenge Zhu Xiang. Unexpectedly, Zichu agreed to Lu Buwei’s terms, accepted her as a concubine, told his household to call her “Lady,” and promised Lu that if she bore a son, he would name the child his heir.

The lady proved fertile—she gave birth to a son a year later. After the child turned one, Lu Buwei confidently handed both the mother and the baby to a trusted aide to impersonate Zichu’s hostage identity. Then, he bribed Zhao officials heavily and smuggled Zichu back to Qin.

And so, without anyone knowing, Zichu became related by marriage to Lord Zhu Xiang, and even arranged for Zhu Xiang to raise the child. Bu was completely at a loss for words.

He couldn’t help recalling one of Zhu Xiang’s favorite phrases: “Are you bullying an honest man?!”

“It’s fine even if he resents me,” Prince Zichu, seeing Bu’s speechlessness, said with a smile.

“Zhu Xiang’s talents are as vast as the galaxy. If I can persuade him to come to Qin, it’s worth it even if he never sees me as a friend again.”

Zichu set the bamboo slip aside and got up, pacing with hands behind his back.

“Zhu Xiang was already clever as a child—he discovered papermaking on his own. In his destitution, he sought refuge with Lord Lin Xiangru, showing his courage. In just five or six years of study, he became knowledgeable in history, astronomy, geography—almost as if Heaven itself had taught him. His future is limitless!”

“He’s of noble character—only wishes to help people, never harm them. He devotes himself to farming and increases crop yields year after year. With him, it’s like having the help of the divine farmer Shennong. No wonder he dares call himself ‘Zhu Xiang!’”

“And yet, despite all this talent, he’s overly modest—he thinks himself ordinary! He has no ambition and is bad at scheming. Without a wise king to protect him, such a gem would surely be wasted by the world!”

“Besides me, who else in this world can understand him and protect him?”

“The Lin family? The Zhao King is foolish—he won’t even confer a title on Lin Xiangru. They can’t protect him!”

“When the world changes, a great ruler must have wise counsel—like Yi Yin for King Tang, or Lu Shang for King Wen of Zhou.”

“I am the only one who can let Zhu Xiang fully display his talents!”

Prince Zichu’s smile grew brighter. A flush of excitement colored his pale cheeks.

“Achoo!”

Zhu Xiang sneezed loudly and sat up in a daze, realizing his blanket was gone.

Looking down, he saw that the domineering little future emperor had wrapped himself up like a cocoon, leaving his poor uncle out in the cold.

Just how much strength could be hidden in that tiny body—to steal an adult’s entire blanket?

With a mischievous grin, Zhu Xiang grabbed the blanket and gave it a shake, tumbling little Ying Zheng out of it.

As the blanket lifted, Zhu Xiang saw a very obvious wet spot underneath.

He burst out laughing, “Zheng’er, you wet the bed!”

The groggy little Ying Zheng snapped awake at once: “I didn’t! I didn’t do it!”

Zhu Xiang: “Hahahahahaha! Xue! Come look! Zheng’er wet the bed!”

Hearing Zhu Xiang’s sudden shout, Xue rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened.

Then, seeing the scene, she sighed in exasperation. “My lord, it’s perfectly normal for young children to wet the bed. Stop shouting and just clean it up, would you?”

Ying Xiaozheng was still hugging his head, trying to escape reality. I didn’t, I didn’t wet the bed. I’m the dignified First Emperor! How could I wet the bed?

Wuwuwu, this never happened before, not in the past, and not even in the future memories! His simple little mind didn’t understand that normal people wouldn’t preserve the shameful memory of bedwetting — he thought he had once again “changed the future.”

Could it be… even for something this small, I have to ‘change the future’?

Noooo! So embarrassing!

Zhu Xiang was still laughing heartily. He hadn’t expected the First Emperor to have such thin skin as a child — so ashamed he started referring to himself as “Zhen” (an imperial pronoun). So he already liked calling himself “Zhen” from a young age. No wonder he made it the emperor’s exclusive title when he grew up.

Enraged and humiliated, little Ying Xiaozheng burst out in anger and bit hard into Zhu Xiang’s firm arm, nearly chipping one of his baby teeth.

The moment he bit down, his mind snapped awake. When he used to kick and bite others, he always got beaten for it. He’d already gotten rid of that bad habit. Now, just after being adopted by a new relative, he bit someone again — he was definitely going to get beaten.

Frozen in fear, Ying Xiaozheng didn’t move a muscle, awaiting the inevitable punishment.

Zhu Xiang looked at the little one still latched onto his arm and burst into even louder laughter:  “Hahahaha! Xue! Look! Zheng’er’s mad! He’s even biting me with his little baby teeth! Doesn’t he look just like a little angry puppy?”

Xue had originally felt uneasy toward Ying Xiaozheng — partly due to her disgust toward Chunhua, and partly because the child’s identity might bring trouble to Zhu Xiang. Her feelings toward him were complicated.

But now, seeing this scene, Xue couldn’t help but feel sympathy for the child and found herself starting to side with him.

“Liangren! You know you made Zheng’er mad, and you’re still laughing? Hurry up and help him get cleaned up before he catches a cold!” she said in a sharp voice, obviously displeased. “Didn’t you say the child would be your responsibility? This is how you’re taking care of him?!”

“Oh, oh, oh! I’m not laughing anymore!” Zhu Xiang quickly pulled little Ying Xiaozheng off his arm, tucked him under his armpit, threw on an outer robe, and dashed toward the bath, carrying the wet-bottomed child. “Your aunt’s mad! Run!”

Ying Xiaozheng: “?”

Aunt is mad… but I didn’t get hit. But it looks like Aunt is going to hit Uncle?

Bounced around in Zhu Xiang’s armpit, Ying Xiaozheng hugged his head again, his tiny brows tightly furrowed.

So strange. I don’t understand. But… as long as I’m not the one getting hit, it’s fine.

Zhu Xiang had a habit of running laps and doing exercises in the courtyard every morning, followed by a bath before heading out to work. The household servants always heated the water before he got up. So when Zhu Xiang rushed into the bath with the little emperor-in-the-making under his arm, he could start bathing immediately.

While helping Ying Xiaozheng wash up, Zhu Xiang started laughing again, which made the little one clench his fists in frustration.

“Is it really that funny?” Ying Xiaozheng pouted.

Zhu Xiang patted his little bum and smiled, “No, no, not funny. Uncle’s not laughing anymore.”  Hahahaha, even the great First Emperor wet the bed as a kid! I want to carve this on a bronze tablet and wait for future archaeologists to dig it up!

Zhu Xiang made up his mind — starting today, he would record a “Chronicle of Raising the First Emperor” and bury it in secret for future generations to discover. Who could resist recording the embarrassing childhood stories of a future historical giant? Zhu Xiang definitely couldn’t. Even if he was courting disaster, he couldn’t resist the temptation!

Ying Xiaozheng said bitterly, “But Uncle… you’re still laughing now.”

Zhu Xiang wiped his face downward, turning the corners of his mouth down dramatically: “Look, not laughing anymore.”

Ying Xiaozheng: “…”

Why do I feel like even though he’s not laughing, my little fists want to clench even tighter!?

Just from that earlier biting incident, Zhu Xiang could tell this kid had a bit of a temper. Since they weren’t that close yet, he didn’t want to ruin the tiny bond of trust they’d just started building. So when he said he’d stop teasing, he really did stop.

Xue brought over a fresh set of clothes and couldn’t help but grumble, “Kids really go through clothes so fast.”

Ying Xiaozheng froze as he was getting dressed with Zhu Xiang’s help.

Zhu Xiang tied his belt and said, “You told me not to stay up late, but I bet you stayed up cutting this set, didn’t you? Kids do go through clothes quickly. You could’ve just altered one of mine to get by for now. No need to cut something new.”

Ying Xiaozheng: “!”

I’m wearing clothes that my aunt — who doesn’t even like me — stayed up late to make?!

He looked down to inspect himself. The sleeves and pants legs fit perfectly — they really didn’t seem like altered adult clothes.

Xue blushed a bit when Zhu Xiang exposed her effort. “Since we’ve decided to raise him, we should do it properly. I just altered one of your robes — it’s not new, really didn’t take much effort.”

She turned up Ying Xiaozheng’s sleeve and added, “Just roughly stitched it a bit so he can wear it for now. I’ve already asked around for some noble households with children. I’ll buy a few sets of used clothes from them. I heard from the other women that kids grow better when they wear hand-me-downs.”

Zhu Xiang said, “No need to look. I already asked Lin Li — he’ll help us find some. We just need to pay him.”

Xue hesitated, “But won’t Lord Lin refuse the money? That wouldn’t be proper…”

After settling the little emperor nephew, Zhu Xiang grabbed a dry cloth to wrap his hair to avoid catching a chill. “He’ll definitely refuse,” he said, “but I gave him something he can’t turn down.”

He winked at Xue, clearly keeping it a surprise.

Xue played along, asking, “What was it?”

Zhu Xiang grinned, “A recipe for brewing wine.”

Xue was momentarily stunned, then sighed, “You know how to make wine too?”

Zhu Xiang replied, “Yup. But grains and fruits are precious. I don’t really like drinking, so I never bothered trying to brew it.”

In ancient times, even a single recipe could be considered a family heirloom. Recipes for things like wine or sauce-making were typically monopolized by large households. Trying to obtain them could lead to bloody conflict.

The Lin family rose from humble beginnings. Although Lin Xiangru had been appointed as a high-ranking official, their family’s foundation was weak, and their wealth naturally couldn’t compare to the aristocrats who had been rich for generations. This rice wine brewing recipe that Zhu Xiang gave them could very well become a legacy item for the Lin family.

Zhu Xiang was a retainer, not a servant, and also a close friend of Lin Zhi. The Lin family wouldn’t steal his achievement. But Zhu Xiang knew that “a man with a treasure is a man in danger.” Even with the Lin family as backing, he rarely revealed anything that might draw attention. Even when it came to cooking, he stuck to simple boiling, steaming, and grilling—never anything complicated. If he occasionally indulged, it was something he’d secretly cook up with Xue behind closed doors, unknown even to the household servants.

Now Zhu Xiang had taken the risk to give Lin Zhi the wine recipe, and its value was more than enough to cover several years of clothing for Ying Xiaozheng.

Lin Zhi couldn’t refuse. His whole family loved wine. When he accepted the recipe, he looked at Zhu Xiang with a rather aggrieved expression.

Zhu Xiang apologized silently in his heart but kept playing dumb.

He already owed the Lin family too much—he couldn’t take more from them without giving something back.

Zhu Xiang always had some made-up excuse to explain the source of his knowledge, but Xue, who grew up with him, knew they were all lies. Her “liangren” (virtuous husband) likely had some mystical origin.

She knew that while he had always been smarter than other kids, sticking close to merchants to learn to read and even coming up with clever ideas to help the family, his behavior still matched his age.

But after the tragedy where his family was destroyed and his elder sister abandoned him, he suddenly became incredibly mature and capable—as if his skills had appeared out of nowhere.

Xue had heard from villagers that some people experience sudden insight after great suffering. Some even claimed they were saved by invisible immortals and blessed with divine fortune.

Xue thought: maybe her husband was really taught by some god.

But she didn’t care. She never dug deeper, nor was she afraid. As long as her husband lived well, that was enough.

Now that Zhu Xiang had resolved the matter, Xue didn’t worry further and said, “Then I’ll tell the others not to look anymore. But we still need to make the shoes ourselves—second-hand ones won’t fit right. You’ll have to wear straw sandals for now, Liangren. I’ll use your shoe soles to make a pair for Zheng’er.”

Zhu Xiang pulled a shocked expression. “Xue, now that Zheng’er’s joined our household, my status has already dropped this much?”

“Ah?!” Ying Xiaozheng, who was trying hard to understand the conversation, instinctively felt there was hidden meaning but couldn’t figure it out. He looked up blankly.

Xue laughed and played along with Zhu Xiang’s joke: “Yes, yes, your status has fallen. I made you a good pair of shoes, and you wore them out in just a few days. Better wear straw sandals. I’ll make you a strong pair with good leather for winter.”

Zhu Xiang reached out, lifted Ying Xiaozheng by the armpits, and held him up in front of Xue: “Zheng’er, your uncle is so pitiful.”

Ying Xiaozheng kicked his little legs a couple of times, tilted his head, and mentally crashed.

What are Uncle and Auntie doing? I don’t understand any of this.

Xue chuckled again, took Ying Xiaozheng into her arms, and said, “I’m taking Zheng’er. You can continue being dramatic—I’m ignoring you now.”

With that, she walked away with Ying Xiaozheng, leaving behind Zhu Xiang and the bed linens soaked with pee.

Zhu Xiang looked down at the urine-soaked blankets and sheets from the little future emperor, then obediently squatted down and began scrubbing them hard.

As he scrubbed, he started daydreaming. He’d heard that people believed a child’s urine had medicinal properties. Then Emperor Qin’s childhood pee should be even more miraculous, right? Maybe he could sell it…

Uh, no one knew this kid would become the First Emperor unless he stored it for twenty or thirty years and turned it into “aged imperial pee.”

Amused by his own thoughts, Zhu Xiang burst out laughing while continuing to scrub.

Meanwhile, Xue was standing just outside the window that ventilated the bathroom, watching quietly. She was waiting for Zhu Xiang to call her back in so she could help wash the bedding.

Who would’ve thought—her husband actually started washing them himself.

Now she didn’t know whether to go in or not. She didn’t want him doing too much housework, but she was also too embarrassed to say she had been joking.

“Uncle’s laughing again—why?” Ying Xiaozheng asked nervously from her arms.

Xue patted his bare little head, sighed, and said, “Who knows? He often laughs to himself while working. Maybe he just thought of something funny.”

Since Zhu Xiang was already washing the bedding, Xue decided to make a hat for Zheng’er instead. A child’s head shouldn’t be exposed to too much wind. She recalled some gossip among women saying that kids grow stronger when wearing tiger hats—so she resolved to make him one.

Ying Xiaozheng thought that since Auntie didn’t like him, she would soon set him down. But unexpectedly, she carried him all the way to the room and sat him on her lap to measure his head for the hat.

His neck shrank back, and his fingers and toes curled up.

His own mother hadn’t held him in a long time. None of the young servants at home liked being near him. Only the old servant who’d abandoned him at his uncle’s door occasionally picked him up.

He wasn’t used to this kind of motherly tenderness. His lips pressed tightly together in anxiety.

“Are you afraid of me?” Xue noticed his tension and asked in confusion. “You’re not afraid of your uncle, but afraid of me. Why?”

Ying Xiaozheng shook his head quickly, voice trembling: “Not afraid!”

Xue thought for a moment but didn’t pursue the question. She just got back to work.

She never liked overthinking. As long as she handled her tasks properly, that was enough.

After measuring his head, she laid Ying Xiaozheng on the bed and gave him a little carved wooden puppy Zhu Xiang had made out of boredom, letting him entertain himself.

She selected some brightly colored silk pieces gifted by the Lin family to make the hat.

The Lin family had always treated Zhu Xiang very well. Over the years, he’d diligently helped them manage their lands and had saved up some money—enough to afford silk.

Still, Zhu Xiang was a commoner. He never dared act ostentatiously. He and Xue usually wore fine hemp garments—simple enough to show restraint, but not so poor as to invite pity.

When they received silk gifts from friends, Xue would stash the pieces away to use as linings for winter clothes—warm, yet not flashy.

She’d already started making winter clothes, so there were plenty of silk scraps in the room. With her skillful hands, she quickly fashioned them into a beautiful little hat—just needed to reinforce the stitching and add some decorations.

Meanwhile, Ying Xiaozheng clutched the wooden puppy, looking confused.

Why did Auntie give me this block of wood? What am I supposed to do now?

Since he could remember, he’d never had a toy. He didn’t know what a toy was, and naturally didn’t understand what Xue intended.

But children are born to play. Even though Ying Xiaozheng was confused, he soon began pushing the puppy across the bed and—beyond his control—started making little “woof woof woof” sounds.

By the time Zhu Xiang had finished washing the sheets and came to find them for breakfast, he stopped by the storeroom where he kept gifts from friends. He took out a beast-patterned jade pendant to give Ying Xiaozheng as a present.

That jade pendant had been a farewell gift from a longtime friend—said to be a protective charm his family had prepared for their child. That child had grasped it during their “Zhua Zhou” (first birthday grab ritual), and the jade had supposedly helped them survive hardship. Now he was passing that luck on to Zhu Xiang.

Zhu Xiang had remembered this while doing laundry and thought it was perfect for a child of Ying Xiaozheng’s age. The symbolism was auspicious—ideal as a protective charm for his nephew.

When he arrived with the box, he just happened to witness the scene—and nearly burst out laughing again.

Look! There’s the little future emperor pretending to be a dog!