EMHTC -Chapter 57 These Peculiar Kids, Who Do They Take After?!

The national treasury issue was about to be resolved, and for the past two days, the emperor and his ministers of Da Xia had practically been walking on air. They smiled at everyone they met, their wide grins making their gums conspicuous.

Especially the Minister of Revenue…

“Minister, here is the document…”

“How did you know the treasury is about to have money?”

“Ah? I didn’t…”

“How did you know I’m about to shed the title of ‘Miser’?”

“I…”

“Guess why I’m so happy?”

Xu Yanmiao, tasked with delivering documents, placed the papers on the Minister of Personnel’s desk and gave a sympathetic glance to the Princess Wanshou (also a official in the Ministry of Revenue), who was being pestered by the Minister of Revenue.

And then…

【Heh heh!】

【Conquer Wa!】

【Heh heh!】

Humming a tune in his head, Xu Yanmiao saluted the Minister of Personnel and exited the temporary government office.

It was May now, and typhoon season was approaching, so Da Xia couldn’t deploy troops yet. But in a few months, when the treasure shipyards, the Ministry of Works, the Ministry of War, and the Ministry of Revenue completed all preparations, Marquis Yongchang would lead the troops to war.

As he turned a corner, he ran into the newly appointed judicial officer from the Ministry of Justice—the one recently promoted from the position of magistrate of Qingpu County.

The other party said, “You…”

Since the judicial officer’s rank was higher, Xu Yanmiao saluted him respectfully, “Greetings, sir.”

The other person didn’t speak, but Xu Yanmiao glanced at him, a question mark almost visibly popping up over his head.

【Why did this person look so… conflicted?】

Not far away, someone suddenly called out, “Master Xu!”

Xu Yanmiao turned his head and was surprised. He quickly stepped forward, “Your Grace, this is…”

The senior eunuch smiled, “His Majesty is looking for you. Follow me quickly.”

Inside the residence where the old emperor was staying, Xu Yanmiao was ushered into the emperor’s study after receiving a signal from the senior eunuch. He knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

Xu Yanmiao pushed the door open. “Your Maj—”

“Enough with the formalities. Come here and write something for me.”

Confused, Xu Yanmiao sat at the small desk and used a brush to write the character “恩” (gratitude).

The old emperor glanced at it and teased, “Not bad. I thought you couldn’t write with a brush since you always have scribes draft your documents.”

Xu Yanmiao paused and then explained, “I’ve been practicing.”

Ever since he found himself transmigrated into ancient times, he had deliberately practiced calligraphy. Though he couldn’t match the original owner’s skill, he could at least write legibly.

The old emperor chuckled, tapping a pile of memorials on the desk with the end of his brush. “Here, help me go through these. There are too many—over a thousand. I can’t handle them all alone.”

Xu Yanmiao was stunned. “Your Majesty, you mean… you want me to…”

The old emperor clarified, “Don’t overthink it. Just handle the ones you can. For instance…” He picked up a memorial. “This one asks, ‘Your Majesty, have you eaten? How’s your appetite lately?’ Just reply, ‘Yes, I’ve eaten, and my appetite is good.’ For similar trivial ones, reply however you like, just don’t scold anyone. As for the important matters, leave those for me—just place them on my left.”

Xu Yanmiao was dumbfounded.

As he moved the mountainous pile of memorials closer to himself, his expression was a mix of shock and disbelief.

【There… there are such pointless memorials?! Isn’t the emperor supposed to be handling serious state affairs?!】

He picked up the first memorial and read it.

“May Your Majesty live long and well.”

That was it.

Xu Yanmiao: “…”

Silently, he picked up the brush and neatly wrote, “朕安” (I am well).

He grabbed the second memorial.

“Your Majesty, the lychees in my region are ripe. Do you enjoy lychees? Should I send some to the palace annually via the courier service?”

Xu Yanmiao hesitated for a moment.

【Hmm! The old emperor doesn’t like wasteful spending. Reject it!】

He wrote, “No, I don’t like them. There’s no need.”

The old emperor paused mid-writing, raised an eyebrow, and couldn’t help but chuckle.

This kid…

Xu Yanmiao picked up the third memorial.

“Your Majesty, my enemy has fallen ill! I’m overjoyed and wanted to share this good news with you!”

【Oh hey! I like this one!】 Xu Yanmiao’s eyes lit up as he delved into the gossip. 【Ah, so it’s like this…】

The old emperor’s brush stopped mid-stroke, his ears perking up to listen.

【The grudge started because the other party, despite having a cold, was forced to go out but didn’t bring enough handkerchiefs. When they kept borrowing from others to wipe their runny nose, this person—while not a germaphobe—refused to lend their personal handkerchief, leaving the poor soul with snot all over their face in public!】

The old emperor clicked his tongue twice in his mind.

How could such a petty grudge exist?

【Pfft, now that the ‘enemy’ also has a cold, they’ve prepared fifty handkerchiefs to flaunt in front of them—using one and then tossing it away.】

The old emperor sipped his tea and judged silently: So petty.

【Oh! This one!】

The emperor, poised to address a serious matter, paused again. His gaze wandered, and his attention drifted back to Xu Yanmiao.

【Someone’s offering honey-soaked dried mangoes to the emperor. Sounds delicious.】

The emperor nodded.

Indeed.

【But maybe refuse it? It feels similar to the lychee proposal—both waste manpower.】

The old emperor widened his eyes.

No, don’t refuse! I want to eat them!

【Or, how about letting them bring it to the capital during the New Year when they’re already visiting?】

The emperor couldn’t help nodding again.

Half an hour later…

“Xu Yanmiao.”

Xu Yanmiao jolted upright. “Your Majesty?”

The emperor glanced at the two serious memorials he’d managed to review, feeling pained.

“Sort through these memorials and take some back with you to review.”

If this continued, he wouldn’t finish today’s work.

Why is it that when I read these frivolous memorials myself, they’re just annoying, but when Xu Yanmiao mutters them in his head, I can’t help but pay attention?

Xu Yanmiao blinked in confusion. “Understood… I obey, Your Majesty.”

He lowered his head and began gathering the memorials.

【Huh? Why is there a memorial from a prince consort? Aren’t they forbidden from holding official posts? Oh! It’s from the consort of the eldest princess, Princess Fangling. Impressive! He was the top scholar in the imperial examination, the first after the founding of the dynasty! At that time, the rule forbidding consorts from holding official positions hadn’t been established. That came later, around the seventh year of the Tian Tong era.】

【Let’s see what he wrote…】

【It’s about bandits ravaging several counties. After a long period of inaction, a woman took advantage of their drunkenness to kill them. He’s petitioning for her to be rewarded.】

【This seems like serious business.】

Xu Yanmiao placed the memorial beside the emperor. As soon as he handed it over, he watched the emperor glance at it, seemingly skimming it at lightning speed before writing something.

【Did he just write “Reviewed” and call it done?】

Peeking secretly, he discovered the emperor had actually read the content and wrote: “Confer the title of Lady Chongyi (Righteous Lady).”

【This is the legendary speed of an emperor’s eyes! Hundreds of characters in a single glance?!】

Hearing Xu Yanmiao’s astonished thoughts, the emperor felt as pleased as if he’d eaten ice cream on a sweltering summer day. Clearing his throat, he said, “Xu Yanmiao, I haven’t seen the eldest princess in a long time. She and her husband are in the Liaodong Commandery, though not in Fuzhou Guard—they’re about seven or eight hundred li away… What do you think?”

A modern student’s mind is still sharp: “This is a family matter, Your Majesty.”

【—If you want to see them, just go see them.】

The old emperor nodded in satisfaction, his mood light and cheerful.

He decided to set off the next day to visit his only daughter who had neither caused him trouble nor embarrassed the family.

Ah, his Fangling! For half a lifetime, she had never given him cause for concern. Compared to the Second, Fifth, and Eighteenth Princes, she was the one daughter who was truly poised, reliable, and presentable.

She was, after all, the child who resembled him the most!

This pleasant mood lasted until the next day.

“Someone is trying to kill us! Please, sir, seek justice for us!”

A woman, accompanied by her son, seized an opportunity to rush forward. Stopped by the Imperial Guards, she knelt down immediately.

Apparently, she didn’t realize the man before her was the emperor. She only saw them leaving the yamen (government office) and decided to take a gamble.

“Sir! I wish to file a complaint against the imperial prince consort! He abandoned his wife and child! He even sought to eliminate us!”

The old emperor hadn’t cleared the area near the yamen of civilians, so the woman’s piercing cries were clearly heard several streets away. Moreover, the explosive nature of her accusation—touching upon family ethics—shocked everyone. Onlookers stood agape, craning their necks to see.

“Is that true? The prince consort? Abandoning his wife and child?”

“Remember that popular opera from a few years ago? It was about a prince consort who had married in his hometown but lied to the emperor, claiming he was single so he could marry the princess. Later, when his wife and child came to find him, he drove them away and even tried to have them killed to erase the evidence.”

“Could it be that the story wasn’t entirely baseless?”

“That’s vicious!”

“But look at this woman; she’s no spring chicken. And her son looks to be in his thirties. How old would the prince consort be? Wasn’t the prince consort in the opera supposed to be in his twenties?”

“If this happened decades ago, the timeline might match!”

The woman was in a pitiful state, her body battered, and her appearance disheveled. Kneeling, she kowtowed repeatedly, her lips trembling as she spoke in a jumbled, frightened manner:

“Please, sir, deliver justice! My husband is the imperial prince consort. He abandoned my son and me to marry the princess. I never dared to compete with the princess. I stayed quietly in the countryside with my son, never leaving. Thirty years have passed without incident, but a few days ago, someone suddenly set fire to my house. If my son and I hadn’t been in the county at the time, we would’ve died there! Today, when we were eating, we accidentally dropped our food bowl, and a neighbor’s dog ate from it and immediately died! He sent people to set the fire! He poisoned us! It must have been him! I’ve always been timid—I don’t dare quarrel with people, let alone offend anyone. My son is simple-minded and has no enemies either!”

Her son, equally disheveled, knelt behind her, kowtowing incessantly and crying out, “Please deliver justice! Please deliver justice!”

The old emperor’s face darkened with anger.

Thirty years ago, only two of his daughters had married prince consorts. Qinghe and Jisui’s marriages were fake, so this couldn’t involve them. That left Fangling…

“Summon the prince consort!” the emperor commanded after listening to the woman’s account. Though he didn’t believe it outright, he said, “Bring him here, but do not disturb Princess Fangling.”

With a sweep of his sleeve, the emperor turned and entered the yamen. Behind him, the woman offered profuse thanks, kowtowing until she was led inside by the Imperial Guards.

The prince consort arrived hastily on horseback. It was evident that the guards had briefed him on the situation during the journey. As soon as he entered the yamen, he lifted his robes and knelt without sparing the woman a glance.

“Your Majesty! I have never had a wife or child. I implore Your Majesty to investigate thoroughly!”

Hearing the term “Your Majesty,” the woman froze as if a duck’s neck had been stepped on. Her eyes widened as she looked toward the man at the center of the hall.

“Your Majesty?! The official I appealed to is the emperor himself?!”

Then, realizing what the prince consort had said, she wailed heart-wrenchingly, “Yan Lang! Even if you deny me, you cannot deny your child! The year he was born, you were preparing for the imperial examination. You barely held him a few times! Now you deny him entirely and even try to kill him!”

The commoners outside, who hadn’t been dispersed, craned their necks to catch a glimpse of the drama unfolding in the hall.

The prince consort, Yan Chun, was already in his fifties. With a long, elegant beard and upright posture, he retained the demeanor of the top scholar he once was. Decades of life in the harsh Liaodong region had not diminished his noble bearing; in fact, it added to his composed and regal demeanor.

This only made the contrast starker between him and the barefoot, ragged woman beside him, whose appearance was utterly pitiful.

Several officials were beginning to sympathize with the woman.

Despite the pressure, the prince consort remained unflustered. “Madam, I do not know you,” he stated calmly.

The woman’s face turned deathly pale. “Bo Ye County, North Yang Village, in Baoding Prefecture! Yan Lang, have you truly forgotten?”

The prince consort spoke neither hurriedly nor slowly, and his words were well-organized: “My household registration is not a secret; anyone with intent can investigate it. If that alone is enough to claim I’m her husband, wouldn’t that mean I could be married to anyone?”

How crafty!

Scattered coughs broke out among those present, attempting to stifle their laughter.

The woman froze momentarily, then sobbed, “The child can undergo a blood test to confirm parentage!”

The prince consort calmly replied, “His Majesty has already decreed to the world that blood tests for parentage are unscientific and unreliable. Even unrelated individuals can have their blood mix together.”

The woman’s eyes were blank with confusion.

An official, dissatisfied, voiced his discontent: “How would a rural woman know such matters? The prince consort seems to be bullying her.”

Yan Chun, the prince consort, chuckled, “Minister Liu, what integrity! Why not lead by example and do a blood test with your son first?”

Minister Liu: “…” He was caught off guard and, after being speechless for a while, said no more.

It had been too long since they had seen the prince consort; they had nearly forgotten that both the princess and he were famed for their competitiveness and sharp tongues. Annoying!

The woman stared blankly for a long moment, then suddenly grew agitated. “Your Majesty! I have evidence!”

Her confidence made the prince consort’s heart skip a beat for no apparent reason.

Then they heard the woman shout, “Yan Lang has a birthmark on his back that looks like a three-petal plum blossom! It’s more delicate than embroidery! If I don’t know him, if I’ve never shared a bed with him, how could I know this?!”

The prince consort: “…”

Everyone could clearly see that the prince consort, who had been unflappable and at ease since he entered the room, now had a change in expression.

On the Emperor’s signal, the imperial guards prepared to escort the prince consort to the back to check.

The prince consort walked a few steps in silence before suddenly stopping. He turned, knelt, and bowed to the Emperor.

“There’s no need to check,” the prince consort said decisively. “Your Majesty, it’s true—I did it.”

…

From afar, Xu Yanmiao saw a crowd gathered around the courthouse. Amid the whispers, he caught snippets:

“He confessed.”

“Can you believe it’s actually him?”

“Wow, the **on the court was so furious.”

“Some official’s daughter—any family’s daughter would be enraged if it were her.”

“That prince consort is heartless.”

Although some words were unclear, the gist was audible.

“!!!”

Xu Yanmiao was immediately intrigued. Grabbing the hand of the Ministry of War official beside her, he nearly dragged him along. “It involves some big official! No idea what’s going on! Let’s go, let’s go! We need to see this!”

The Ministry of War official’s eyes lit up. “No clue what big official this is either…”

By the time they squeezed in and then out of the dense crowd at the courthouse door, both of them were left dumbfounded.

This… getting involved in royal affairs probably wasn’t a good idea, was it?

Xu Yanmiao and the Ministry of War official exchanged glances.

“Maybe we should…”

“Leave…”

Suddenly, a familiar voice rang out from the crowd: “Make way! Make way! Please, move aside! I’m an officer! Let me through! Thanks!”

Then…

“I wonder what’s going on!”

Although the voice was subdued, a trace of excitement could still be heard. Xu Yanmiao recognized it instantly.

【Could it be… maybe…】

…Xu Yanmiao?

The Crown Prince’s voice betrayed a hint of surprise before he was pushed forward by the crowd and stumbled right to the front.

Before his vision cleared, a phrase reached his ears—

【Your family’s business?】

“?!”

The Crown Prince snapped his head up and saw his brother-in-law, the prince consort, kneeling in the hall. His clothes and hair seemed damp with sweat.

The Crown Prince’s eyes widened in shock.

Whose house is falling apart?!

Oh, turns out it’s my house falling apart!

From inside the courthouse came his father’s voice: “Get in here!” And when the Crown Prince focused, he saw his father grinning darkly, baring an unsettlingly gleaming set of white teeth.

Here to watch the commotion, are you?

Pretending to be an officer to make way, eh?

Get in here!

“Xu Yanmiao! And you too!”

Half-hidden, Xu Yanmiao slowly re-emerged, his head lowered, and walked into the courthouse. Beside him was the equally crestfallen Crown Prince.

“And you…” The Emperor glanced at the Ministry of War official and thought for a moment. “What’s your name… Lian Hang? You too, get in.”

The Ministry of War official: “…”

He swore that if not for Xu Yanmiao, the Emperor would never have even known who he was!

Normally, being remembered by His Majesty was a good thing, but right now…

The Ministry of War official shot a resentful look at Xu Yanmiao’s back as they walked ahead of him. With each step, it felt as though he was treading on explosive fireballs, ready to detonate at any moment.

He would rather the Emperor forget his name altogether!

In the courtroom, the Crown Prince forced a sheepish smile. “Father, what’s going on with my brother-in-law? What crime has he committed?”

The Emperor’s anger flared. “What crime?! Your brother-in-law lied to both your sister and me! When I questioned him during the Qionglin Banquet before granting the marriage, he swore he was unmarried! Now, thirty years later, his original wife has come forward! Not only did he abandon his wife and child, but he even sent people to hunt them down! The mother and child had to come report it to the authorities themselves!”

“I will chop off his head! No one is allowed to plead for him!”

The Crown Prince’s face froze in shock at this sudden revelation, which quickly morphed into deep-seated anger.

Normally, a prince consort couldn’t hold office, but when his brother-in-law became one, this law hadn’t been established yet—it was decreed in the seventh year of the Tian Tong era, while Yan Chun had topped the imperial exam in the fourth year of the same era.

The Crown Prince shared a deep bond with his elder sister, his only sibling of similar age. He knew well how proud and strong-willed she was.

As a child, the Crown Prince once bought food and, seeing him as a likable boy, the vendor gave him an extra steamed bun. The next day, his sister went to buy food and insisted on working as a helper for the street performers for half a day to earn money. She bought two extra buns and brought them home.

Recalling these moments with his ever-competitive sister from their childhood, the Crown Prince momentarily wore a pained expression before dragging his thoughts back to the present.

This Yan fellow dared to figuratively slap his proud sister in the face—

The Crown Prince strode over with a grimace and raised his hand, delivering a slap toward the prince consort.

【Abandoning wife and child?!】

Xu Yanmiao was so shocked that she metaphorically dropped her melon seeds.

【But she’s a female prince consort!】

【Even if abandoning her wife is plausible, how could she abandon a child?!】

The Crown Prince’s slap narrowly grazed the prince consort’s nose.

Having swung too hard, the Crown Prince hissed in pain and clutched his own waist.

Ow… it seems I pulled something…

Yan Chun, unable to hear their thoughts, assumed the Crown Prince was being considerate of the Princess’s dignity. Lowering his gaze, he remained silent for a moment before calmly speaking: “Yes, I did it. I did abandon my wife and child. She identified me by the birthmark on my back… and indeed, it is there. There’s no need to verify it.”

“The Princess is the most exceptional woman I have ever met in my life—peerlessly beautiful, immensely talented, like a celestial being from the heavens. To win her hand, I was willing to risk my life!”

The Crown Prince: “…What.”

Hearing the murmur of discussions among the crowd, many began speculating about how remarkable the Princess must be.

The Crown Prince glanced at his “brother-in-law” with a complex expression.

Even on the brink of death, he wouldn’t miss an opportunity to heap praise on the Princess. Great. Now the Crown Prince understood how his exceptionally proud sister had managed to maintain such a harmonious relationship with her husband over the decades.

The Emperor also quickly pieced things together.

No wonder Yan Chun confessed to “abandoning his wife and child.” If forced to undress, his true identity as a woman would be exposed.

The Emperor: “…”

His eldest daughter was not the type to endure a thirty-year platonic marriage, so…

A wild and absurd thought from Xu Yanmiao’s usual morning distractions flashed in the Emperor’s mind.

Could she have secretly kept a guard around to pose as her, sneaking into the Princess’s chambers after lights out?!

The Emperor was both shocked and enraged!

The Emperor was furious!

The Emperor was utterly livid!

Xu Yanmiao: 【How odd. If you’re doomed to die anyway, why admit to such a crime… Ah, I see. She must have decided beforehand that if she couldn’t avoid punishment, she’d choose the method that least tarnishes the Princess’s reputation. Being deceived into marriage is far better than admitting you married a woman.】

The old emperor: “…?” Why did it sound like his daughter was in on this?

Could it be…

The old emperor painfully followed the train of thought to its conclusion: Could his daughter have known all along that the prince consort was a woman and willingly helped her conceal it?!

Slowly, very slowly, he raised a hand to his forehead.

His eldest daughter had married a female prince consort.

His second daughter enjoyed role-playing games and entered into a contractual marriage.

His fifth daughter, before coming to her senses, let her prince consort abuse and mistreat her, and somehow, their twisted relationship became deeply romantic.

His youngest daughter was so spoiled that she dared to challenge even her emperor father just to become an official.

…Did he still have any gentle, obedient, understanding, virtuous daughters left???

How had his children all turned out so… peculiar?!

“Father!!!”

The old emperor blurted out, “Nonsense!”

As if they could have inherited it from him!

Then he realized he was being watched with strange and questioning eyes.

“…”

Snapping back to his senses, the old emperor saw that another figure had entered the hall. Kneeling in front of the prince consort, the person saluted. Though she appeared no older than forty, her sharp features exuded cold beauty and an imposing presence.

“Father! The prince consort has never deceived the throne. This accusation is slander!”

The prince consort exclaimed in shock, “Princess!”

Ah, it was his eldest daughter. The old emperor ground his teeth in frustration. Judging by her disheveled hair and uneven breathing, it was clear she had ridden here in a rush. She was this anxious?!

The old emperor: “Never deceived the throne?”

The eldest princess replied firmly, “Never!”

The old emperor: “Heh.”

So cross-dressing doesn’t count as deceiving the throne? What a ridiculous claim.

Since he couldn’t address this matter openly with his daughter in public, the old emperor pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you have any evidence?”

Surely, she wasn’t going to have the prince cons—uh, the Yan fellow—strip in public, right?

“I do!” The Princess of Fangling declared decisively. “When you asked me how I would select a prince consort, I told you I wanted the best. At the time, Yan Chun was the top scholar of the imperial exam, making him the best—”

“Mm…” The old emperor nodded.

The Princess of Fangling continued, “But I worried he might have done something shameful in the past that could embarrass me, so I sent people to investigate him thoroughly in his hometown.”

“Mm???” The old emperor was stunned. “When did this happen?”

Even the prince consort froze, nearly blurting out, “What?”

The Princess of Fangling calmly explained, “The day after the Qionglin Banquet.”

Still calm, she added, “The findings of that investigation are stored in the palace, in my personal quarters. The scroll is thirty years old and probably yellowed by now, but it details his life from childhood. It should prove that thirty years ago, he was never married. I am here now, so I could not have fabricated it in advance. I ask His Majesty to review it!”

The old emperor opened his mouth.

Xu Yanmiao helped him voice his thoughts—

【What the…】

【No wonder the system referred to her as “the fiercely strong-willed Princess of Fangling.】