EMHTC -Chapter 46 Oh my God! Officials and thieves collude, and…

“You…” The county magistrate’s wife took a deep breath and scolded, “Still dreaming of having two wives? Why not dream of ascending to heaven while you’re at it? Look at yourself! Are you worthy? Even the locksmith at the village entrance is a better match than you!”

And if the truth came out about this fraud, who would the family estate go to? Who would be buried in the ancestral tomb? Let alone the fact that this man was a fraud!

The county magistrate was utterly bewildered by her words. “My lady, you…” Was this still his frail and gentle wife?

Noticing the astonished looks from several officials, the magistrate’s wife paused. Then, like a delicate willow swaying in the wind, she knelt down dramatically, bursting into tears. She sobbed so heart-wrenchingly that it seemed she could not even take care of herself.

But her words were articulate and precise: “Your Majesty, though my late husband passed away from illness, his body was discarded who knows where by this man. What identity was he buried under? For five years, he may have wandered as a lonely ghost, unrecognized and without offerings. No wonder I’ve had restless nights and shallow sleep all these years—surely it was my late husband appearing in my dreams to deliver a message I couldn’t understand…”

Translation: Your Majesty, he may not have killed anyone, but he stole another man’s identity, leaving that man without a proper burial or offerings. I have no part in his crimes. I’ve even lost sleep over this matter!

She couldn’t allow this criminal to drag her or her children down with him.

Though her complexion was radiant and her eyes lacked dark circles, suggesting her claim of sleepless nights might be false, the Emperor—a stubbornly traditional man—was moved by her performance.

What was this? A frail official’s wife, taken advantage of, still prioritizing her betrothed husband over five years of shared life with the fraudster?

Good! Faithful and virtuous!

The Emperor turned to the senior censor. “What is the punishment for fraudulent officials?”

The senior censor responded promptly, “Such an individual, falsely claiming an official post and stealing another’s identity, not only deceives people but undermines justice. According to precedent, he should be exiled to a remote region and serve as a laborer.”

After a brief pause, the censor added, “His wife, unaware of his crimes, and their children, are not culpable and should not be punished.”

The magistrate’s wife gently pressed a hand to her forehead, sighing delicately. Her eyes shimmered like dewy lychees as she murmured, “Many thanks to this honorable official for speaking up for justice.”

I’m so delicate. Truly, I’m incredibly delicate!

In contrast, the fraudulent magistrate, kneeling nearby, appeared as robust as a mountain bandit, drawing no sympathy at all.

He kowtowed frantically. “Your Majesty, please have mercy! I acted impulsively. The deceased man’s features bore some resemblance to mine, down to the same mole on our faces—though he was plumper, and I thinner. After his death, I became possessed and stole his credentials to take office…”

If questioned about discrepancies, he could always claim that losing weight had altered his appearance. Most people wouldn’t overthink it.

“But in all these years, I’ve lived in constant fear of exposure. I have never engaged in corruption, nor have I abused my authority. I worked diligently, if not treating the people as my own children, at least avoiding oppressive governance. I beg Your Majesty for clemency!”

The senior censor interjected sternly, his expression full of righteous anger. “Does this mean that after a magistrate dies, his successor must inevitably be a tyrant?

“When the former magistrate of Xingyang County passed, it was the Ministry of Appointments’ duty to assign a replacement. That replacement could have been a hardworking middle-aged scholar or an elder waiting years for an official post. But because this man usurped the position, they were left waiting indefinitely!”

He stepped forward, his tone sharp. “If this man is spared, what’s to stop others from lying in ambush, murdering officials, and stealing their credentials to claim their positions?”

Suddenly, a voice chimed in—disruptive and brimming with mischief. It was Xu Yanmiao: 【Why not just organize a deathmatch every three years? Whoever survives gets to hold office!】

The censor: “….”

He struggled to suppress the digression and continued. “We must ensure that such frauds are punished according to the law, so as to deter others from similar schemes!”

The fraudulent magistrate trembled on the ground, awaiting the Emperor’s judgment.

The Emperor listened quietly to the censor’s words, nodding slightly. At that very moment, the fraudulent magistrate’s vision darkened, and just before fainting, he heard the Emperor declare, “What you say is correct. Let justice prevail.”

The fraudulent magistrate collapsed, but his cook-turned-wife remained upright, her face full of complicated emotions.

The Emperor issued follow-up orders: “Locate the original Xingyang County magistrate, return him to his ancestral land, and give him a proper burial. If he has living relatives, allocate funds to assist them. The Ministry of Appointments will send a new magistrate to Xingyang County.”

What the Emperor didn’t reveal was his intention to leave part of the secret police to observe the new magistrate. If they oppressed the people, they would be replaced again—there was no shortage of aspiring officials in the empire.

The officials all bowed deeply. “Your Majesty is wise!”

The magistrate’s wife then summoned her courage. “Your Majesty, if I may ask, where will this man be sent for exile?”

The Emperor named a location, and her expression lit up.

Three months later, the fraudulent magistrate and his “wife” reunited in a small frontier town.

Her uncle, a local commander, brought her before the fraudulent magistrate. “Niece, take it easy—don’t kill him. Though if you do, I’ll find an excuse to cover it up.”

The magistrate’s wife bowed slightly. “Thank you, Uncle.”

She was the daughter of a military officer. Her father, though of modest rank, could easily handle minor adversaries. Her uncle, a trusted family ally, had promptly invited her to settle scores upon learning her fraudulent husband had been sent to his territory.

The fraudulent magistrate shivered. “You… What do you want to do?”

Before she could reply, the dozen robust servants accompanying her pounced like wolves, raining heavy blows upon him.

The magistrate’s wife exclaimed, “What are you doing? Stop immediately!”

The fraudulent magistrate’s eyes gleamed with hope.

But under his hopeful gaze, she daintily dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief and turned away, tears falling as she said, “Just drag him out and continue beating him. I have a kind heart and can’t bear to watch this.”

Soon, a man with a face swollen like a pig’s head was dragged back.

The magistrate’s wife crouched down, patted his face, and smiled. “Do you remember Yun Niang, Qin Jie’er, and Su Ge’er?”

Yun Niang was his original wife; Qin Jie’er and Su Ge’er were the children she bore him.

His heart sank. “What do you intend to do to them?”

The magistrate’s wife smiled faintly, patting his face again. “Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to comfort Yun Niang. I told her that since you were once a cook, you could still cook for me if she doesn’t mind. Four taels of silver per year, with food and lodging included. Now that she keeps all four taels for herself instead of giving you two, she’s quite cheerful. As for your children, they hardly remember you since you rarely came home for five years. They’re happily playing with windmills and dolls their mother bought them.”

The fraudulent magistrate spat out blood. “I don’t believe you!”

She straightened her sleeves and replied nonchalantly, “Believe it or not, it’s the truth.”

Her marriage to him had originally been to honor an old betrothal agreement—a drunken promise between families. After this ordeal, her father had spent three days slapping himself, swearing never to interfere in her remarriage again.

In the Daxia Empire, widows were free to remarry, even multiple times. Some had remarried six times, with the sixth marriage as an official’s wife. Others, having borne children in their first marriage, became concubines to princes in their second.

The magistrate’s wife glanced down at the beaten man. She idly wiped her hands with a handkerchief. If anything, she owed this revelation her thanks.

Back to the moment right after punishing the magistrate of Xingyang County.

After the matter was resolved, the Zhengzhou Governor came to see the old emperor, his face full of guilt. “Your Majesty, I…”

His mind was racing with terrifying speculations, from “Is someone trying to set me up?” to “What kind of grudge do I have with that fake magistrate?” Ultimately, his thoughts shifted to: Could His Majesty have a problem with me?

The old emperor sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed, sensing something was amiss. He turned his head slightly and asked, “Why are you so flustered? Am I the kind of person who takes out their anger on others?”

The Zhengzhou Governor coughed awkwardly and carefully chose his words while stealing glances at the emperor’s expression. “Thank you, Your Majesty. It is this official’s own anxiety.”

The old emperor was accustomed to his cautious demeanor but still fell silent as memories of playing in the mud together as children surfaced in his mind.

After about two or three seconds, the old emperor changed the subject. “How’s the revenue from the Han Classics Press?”

The Han Classics Press was an imperial printing house responsible for engraving and printing Buddhist scriptures, Confucian classics, government documents, and popular books like The Hundred Family Surnames.

The main press was in the capital, with branches scattered across the empire, including one in Zhengzhou.

To generate revenue, the old emperor had opened the Han Classics Press to the public—essentially, anyone could pay to have things printed.

Zhengzhou Governor: “Reporting to Your Majesty, last year’s revenue was 37,500 taels.”

The old emperor was overjoyed.

Zhengzhou Governor: “…But, Your Majesty, about the Xiangyang bandits…”

The old emperor waved his hand, unconcerned: “They’re just rebels acting under the guise of the Xiangyang bandits. They can’t cause any real trouble.”

The magistrate bowed and timidly complied.

The imperial entourage traveled to Zhengzhou. The city’s most famous landmark was the Han Classics Press.

“I’ve heard the place has strong backing. As long as you pay, they’ll print anything!”

This time, they could visit openly. Xu Yanmiao dragged along a friend from the Ministry of War to tour the Han Classics Press. Along the way, they bumped into several officials.

The Minister of Personnel strolled over, his plump face radiating friendliness. “Young Master Xu, are you here to print books or just to explore?”

Xu Yanmiao replied honestly, “Just exploring.”

The minister, known for his approachable demeanor, nodded repeatedly. “Exploring is good, very good. Take advantage of this inspection tour to experience the local customs. As the saying goes, ‘Reading ten thousand books is not as good as traveling ten thousand miles.’”

Xu Yanmiao agreed politely, and the two struck up a pleasant conversation. They even toured the Han Classics Press together. As they were leaving, they planned to have a meal, but suddenly, a few mysterious individuals stopped them and handed each of them a small slip of paper.

“Gentlemen, would you like to hear the great Baiyang Cult Leader explain the truths of the world?”

The Minister of Personnel, dressed as a commoner: “?”

Xu Yanmiao and his friend from the Ministry of War, also in plain clothes: “?”

Xu Yanmiao glanced at the paper and read aloud, “The summer sun fades; the white sun rises again…”

Before he could react, his friend from the Ministry of War gasped, “You’re rebels!”

But before he could finish shouting, his voice abruptly cut off. He began scanning the area for escape routes.

【Recruiting people for rebellion right at the gates of the Han Classics Press?! How brazen! There must be someone backing them. Could it be a prince or noble?!

【No, I can’t expose them now. They’ve probably deceived many commoners, and if they get desperate… But if I just walk away, it might be too late. Several strangers are already circling us.】

Xu Yanmiao frowned deeply. The Minister of Personnel, aware of the hidden guards protecting them, lightly patted the back of Xu Yanmiao’s hand.

“Don’t worry; you have the Jinyiwei nearby.”

But Xu Yanmiao misunderstood immediately.

【He wants me to scout the situation!】

The Minister of Personnel’s pupils widened in shock: No! Wait! That’s not what I meant!

Seeing their hesitation, the rebel recruiter quickly added, “We’re giving out free eggs!”

Minister of Personnel: “We…” aren’t interested.

Xu Yanmiao: “I’ll go!”

【If scouting is what’s needed, I’ll do it!】

The Minister of Personnel looked at Xu Yanmiao in despair. Truly, his courage knew no bounds.

“Let’s go together!”

The friend from the Ministry of War gritted his teeth and joined in. “I’ll go too!”

“Where are you all going?!”

Before they got far, a commanding voice boomed behind them.

The rebel recruiter immediately took a step back.

The Minister of Personnel quickly turned around and yelled, “Qin Qier! Come here! Listen, these people are so kind! They’re sharing wisdom and even giving out free eggs!”

The general, now aware of the situation, brightened and played along. He pulled out a worn, battered bowl from his robes and scratched his head sheepishly. “Uh… free eggs? But I still need to beg for food…”

The Minister of Personnel stomped his foot. “How foolish! Can you even get a single coin in a day? These are real eggs!”

Turning to the rebel, he smiled ingratiatingly. “Brother, you see…”

The rebel glanced at the battered bowl and relaxed, slapping his chest. “No problem! Everyone will get eggs! But you’ll need to wait a bit while I recruit more people.”

Xu Yanmiao asked curiously, “You have quotas? I mean, are you required to recruit a certain number of people each day?”

The rebel sighed, “Yes, but it’s monthly. Recruiting one person earns ten copper coins. We need to recruit at least thirty a month.”

Xu Yanmiao nodded thoughtfully.

【This rebel group seems poorly run. Others rely on ideology and belief to manipulate people, but they rely on money… and eggs. Are they really a rebel group or just a shady MLM disguised as one?】

The Minister of Personnel ignored the strange modern terminology and focused on the rebel group’s weakness. This was no surprise. After all, the emperor had governed so well that the people had food and drink. Why would anyone rebel?

The recruiter returned with a crowd, looking ecstatic. “Today’s a great day! So many people joined!”

Xu Yanmiao scanned the new arrivals:

The Minister of Revenue, the High Priest of the Imperial Ancestral Temple, Marquis Yongchang, a Criminal Ministry official, a Censorate official… and several Jinyiwei officers.

“Well… isn’t this something…”

After all, they had arrived in Zhengzhou alongside the emperor, and many officials came to see the local landmarks.

The recruiter cheerfully led them to their meeting place, handed them each a small bag of copper coins, and said, “You’ll get your eggs first, but you must listen to the Cult Leader’s sermon carefully. Afterward, there will be a quiz. Only if you pass can you take the eggs home.”

The officials nodded in unison.

Holding their eggs, they sat among the commoners, behaving like model citizens. The Baiyang Cult Leader handed out not only eggs but also booklets containing the cult’s teachings.

【The printing is surprisingly high-quality…】

Xu Yanmiao curiously flipped through the booklet.

Even as a modern person, he couldn’t help but admire the beautiful printing: clean white paper, neat black text, and decorative designs of the sun, moon, and stars, with the sun prominently featured, likely symbolizing the cult.

【What the—?!】

Xu Yanmiao’s expression changed abruptly.

All the officials heard his loud inner voice, clearly shocked.

【This was printed at the Han Classics Press?!】

“Wha—?!”

The Minister of Personnel dropped his egg, its contents splattering on his shoe.

【That recruitment flyer was also printed at the Han Classics Press?!】

【Does the emperor know about this?!】

The gathered officials stared blankly.

Your Majesty… did you approve this?

【Strange! Why would he be so short on money—ah?! The rewards the emperor gives to officials don’t come from the national treasury but from his personal stash?!】

【Oh, I see! The old emperor had asked the Minister of Revenue, suggesting he consider it as borrowing from the national treasury, but the minister refused. He even resorted to dramatic crying, shouting, and threatening suicide—tsk, System, at least show me an image of how he pretended to hang himself!】

The Minister of Revenue lowered his head and used his index finger to trace the patterns on the cane chair beneath him.

Well… after all, the funds in the national treasury were reserved for national purposes—disaster relief, building bridges and roads, monthly salaries for officials, and so on. If he wasn’t firm about it, what would happen if the treasury ran out of money?

【No wonder. If the emperor’s personal stash ran dry, he couldn’t exactly tell an official who had earned a reward or caught his favor: “I’m broke; how about I reward you with a meal with me?】

【—Wouldn’t that be the emperor essentially “selling himself”?!】

The phrase “selling himself” was enunciated clearly and loudly.

The officials present all simultaneously imagined the old emperor’s face and, just as simultaneously, covered their eyes in distress.