EMHTC -Chapter 11 Damn! There is gold hidden in Butthole!

The little eunuchs huffed and puffed as they carried the boxes, their arms stiff and sore, crying and complaining all along the way.

They served people, sure, but generally, eunuchs weren’t asked to carry heavy objects!

“Shut up! Shut up!”

The head eunuch, in a fit of rage, shouted, “I haven’t complained yet!”

Wasn’t he tired too? He was about to collapse!

Looking up at the seemingly endless road, carrying the box, the head eunuch could almost hear his well-maintained arms, legs, and spine groaning in pain.

Master, instead of copper coins and cloth, could you give Xu Yanmiao a house instead!

＊

There was another knock at the door, and Xu Yanmiao sighed, “…”

【Who could it be this time? Can’t I just eat my hotpot in peace?】

The Ministry of War official swiftly grabbed the remaining fish meatballs from the red broth, his movements quicker than lightning. The air still carried the tempting scent of fish.

“Sounds like there are a lot of people outside. Xu Lang, since you don’t remember inviting anyone, could they be your enemies? Did someone send thugs?”

“How could that be! I’ve always been cautious and never had any disputes with anyone! How could I have enemies!”

Xu Yanmiao thought for a moment; it seemed like the original owner hadn’t offended anyone. Then… who could it be outside?

When Xu Yanmiao said he was cautious, he didn’t notice the complicated expression on the Ministry of War official’s face.

—Quick, eat some beef to calm yourself down!

The Ministry of War official shoved beef into his mouth while keeping an eye on the door. Seeing something was off, he quickly grabbed the small pot and splashed the scalding red broth out.

Xu Yanmiao opened the door.

He saw a man dressed as a eunuch standing at the doorstep, the soles of his shoes covered with mud and sewage, probably from stepping in a low-lying area.

The man greeted him warmly, “Xu Lang.”

Then he added, “The emperor has issued a decree, please accept it.”

“Oh, oh!”

Xu Yanmiao hurriedly followed the etiquette from his memory, awkwardly accepting the decree. The Ministry of War official also hurriedly came out of the house to pay his respects. The chief eunuch read the decree quickly, and as soon as Xu Yanmiao took it, the little eunuchs eagerly carried the boxes inside.

“Where should we put these gifts, official?”

Xu Yanmiao replied, “Just find a corner.”

The boxes quickly collided with the floor, and for some reason, the sound seemed to convey a sense of relief—”finally freed!”

The head eunuch suddenly said, “Xu Lang… this decree was personally written by the Emperor.”

“Ah, okay!” Xu Yanmiao quickly responded, sensing the surprise in the man’s expression, and hesitated, “Thank you, Your Majesty… thank you, Noble Eunuch?”

—Noble Eunuch is a respectful term for an emperor’s favored eunuch.

The head eunuch smiled kindly, “Xu Lang’s thanks will be reported to the Emperor.”

Then he led the little eunuchs away.

＊

The Ministry of War official craned his neck, waiting for them to disappear from sight. Once they were out of view, he quickly stood up and stretched. “Finally, they’re gone!”

Xu Yanmiao had already dashed into the house like a rabbit, his voice cheerful, “Wuhu! I have money now!”

What followed was the joyful sound of his thoughts.

【Did the old emperor reward me for helping him deal with that Lui prince consort?】

【Sorry, I won’t secretly call you stingy again!】

【Three hundred thousand coins!!!】 【I can rent a better house now!】

The Ministry of War official looked at Xu Yanmiao’s back with a thoughtful expression. Given the Emperor’s nature, it was unlikely that he would reward him with so much money for something so trivial—there must be another reason.

It must be that Xu Yanmiao solved some problem for the Emperor with his thoughts.

And the emperor’s close eunuch had shown such respect to Xu Yanmiao, calling him “Xu Lang” and referring to himself as a servant—this subtle display of closeness suggested that…

The Ministry of War official squinted and smiled, seemingly quite pleased.

Xu Lang must be winning the Emperor’s favor.

Xu Yanmiao picked up his chopsticks for the third time, just about to dip the food into the hot red oil…

“Dong, dong, dong.”

The door was knocked on for the third time.

The Ministry of War official: “…”

Xu Yanmiao: “…”

Xu Yanmiao threw down his chopsticks.

【Dammit! This is too much!】

【Can’t I just have a peaceful meal?】

But still, he had to go open the door.

Xu Yanmiao, with the Ministry of War official’s sympathetic gaze upon him, opened the door for the third time. This time, it was a stranger, dressed in the last rays of sunset, his posture humble.

“Xu Lang, I am the steward of the Dou family. The master has specially invited you to a feast. Please come.”

Xu Yanmiao was stunned. “Dou family?”

Minister Dou?

＊

“Did you find him?”

“Report, Master, we didn’t find him!”

“Have you all confessed?”

“Report, Master! The servants all say they are innocent. No one admits to stealing the young master’s betrothal gift.”

Minister Dou silently stared at the warehouse door, covering his ears.

The door was painted in gold and adorned with a beast face, with three layers and three locks.

The first lock is a puzzle lock, shaped like a fish’s head, with the keyhole hidden in the fish’s eye. It is designed with the idea that fish are thought to keep their eyes open at night, symbolizing alertness.

The second lock is a silver lock shaped like a shrimp’s tail, also known as the “God of Money.” The lock resembles a curled shrimp, with the body formed into a long cylinder, held together by three iron hoops with intricate patterns.

The third lock is a poetry lock, with pre-carved characters on it. There are seven characters in total, and the lock can only be opened when the characters are aligned correctly.

Moreover, the estate is heavily patrolled day and night. Between every two large gates, there is a small gap where five people can stand. The steward has arranged two guards to watch each gap, and every morning and evening, servants enter to count the valuables. Afterward, the servants are also searched…

Prime Minister Dou was completely baffled—how had a few items from the betrothal gifts gone missing?

The family’s in-law, minister of Rites, rushed to the Prime Minister Dou’s residence upon hearing the news, not even stopping for water, and immediately asked, “What’s missing?”

“A pair of silver-gilt bridal tassels, a pair of white jade dragon-shaped hairpins, a pair of gold and jade earrings, a set of jade double-headed phoenix hairpins, and a gold crown with fifty-five gems—twenty of which are missing, quite obviously. And there are still some other small items missing that haven’t been counted yet.”

Although the items were few, they were all listed on the betrothal list! According to custom, these gifts should be moved outside the bride’s door, displayed, and then called out by the family’s steward.

At this point, various guests, male relatives, and female relatives should be able to admire them.

This was supposed to be an honor for the bride’s family, showcasing how much the groom’s family valued her. But now, it had turned into a disaster for both families.

If it were discovered in public that the betrothal gifts were incomplete, it would bring shame not only to the bride’s family but also to the Dou family’s reputation.

—Especially since this time, the betrothal was for his eldest son’s second marriage, and the Dou family couldn’t afford to make it seem like they were neglecting the second wife.

As Prime Minister Dou, already advanced in age, had many wrinkles on his face, each crease now reflected his anxiety and exhaustion. “The naming ceremony is in half an hour; it’s too late to make up for it now. Even rewriting the gift list would take too long.”

The thief was very careful, only stealing small items, leaving the larger ones untouched. Otherwise, the loss would have been discovered sooner. But the small items were difficult to replace, as it was hard to know exactly which piece was missing or which jewelry had its gems removed.

The minister of Rites roared angrily, “If I find out who did this, I’ll skin them alive!”

Prime Minister Dou’s family was lucky—it was for a new wife. His family was marrying off a daughter! Marrying off a daughter!!!

The two exchanged a glance and then politely turned away to avoid showing the other their own troubled expression.

“Why not send for the City Patrol Magistrate?”

“In half an hour it will be the time, it’s too late.”

“That’s true. Although the City Patrol Magistrate is responsible for investigating and arresting cases in the capital, even the best detective can’t solve a case in such a short time.”

“Only a deity could do that…”

Hmm?!

They suddenly looked at each other, both seeing determination and excitement in the other’s eyes.

In unison, they said, “Xu Yanmiao!!!”

＊

“Achoo!”

Xu Yanmiao rubbed his nose, glaring at the warehouse door with deep frustration.

【Dammit, they said I was invited to a banquet! But they didn’t mention I’d have to work before eating!】

【But! Who would ask the Ministry of Personnel Official to investigate a case!!!】

When he arrived, Xu Yanmiao discovered that Prime Minister Dou hadn’t only invited him—Dou’s residence had sent invitations to every official in the Ministry of Personnel, asking them all to come to the banquet.

However, before that, they needed to help Prime Minister Dou find the missing betrothal gifts. Only half an hour…

Of course, everyone in the Ministry of Personnel knew they were just there to pretend to investigate.

One by one, they feigned examining the situation while secretly eyeing Xu Yanmiao.

Xu Yanmiao, meanwhile, was half-heartedly working while grumbling.

【Why is the Ministry of Personnel looking for things? Isn’t the City Patrol Magistrate supposed to handle this? If it really is too hard, they could have asked the Ministry of Works to check for secret passages or mechanisms!】

【Ministry of Personnel solving a case? Ridiculous!】

【And it’s already after hours, and they still have to work overtime, so unfair! They don’t even get overtime pay!】

【But with such tight security, how did they manage to steal anything?】

Xu Yanmiao glanced around and noticed that no one was paying attention to him. So, he quietly changed his position, leaning against a pillar and focusing on the system interface, his eyes gleaming with excitement.

Here it comes!!!

The City Patrol Magistrate and others held their breath, not wanting to disturb Xu Yanmiao. Many of them even stretched their necks to look toward him.

Dammit, I really want to know who the mastermind is, what an audacious thief! It’s said the betrothal gifts were lost overnight, and during the last six months when the inventory was checked, no problems were noticed.

Finally, they were about to catch the thief.

Prime Minister Dou was bending down to inspect the lock when he suddenly stood up, stepping on some copper coins scattered on the ground. The anger in his step caused them to crack loudly.

The minister of the Court of Rites took a deep breath, then exhaled. The cold air turned to vapor in the winter air.

The prepared torture could now be put to use.

【Found it!】

Xu Yanmiao eagerly opened the next page of the interface.

【Wait…】

He froze.

His eyes widened in shock.

【This—this—】

The others: What happened, what happened?!

One by one, they craned their necks even further.

And Xu Yanmiao, in a tone of shock, admiration, and awe, exclaimed—

【This is how you steal?!】

【They stuffed the small jewels into… but those night pearls aren’t small, did they not hurt?】

Everyone perked up, halting their movements, eager to hear more.

What? Who stuffed them? Where did they stuff them? Hurt? Hurt where? Hurry up and tell us!

Xu Yanmiao: 【Too clever! Hiding gold in the ass!!!】