After My Unlucky Bestie and I Transmigrated into a Novel, We Survive by Roasting Everything

OMG! My best friend and I transmigrated into a novel—and the very first scene is a **burial sacrifice**!

What do we do?

Don’t panic!

Grab powerful backers! One each! No one gets left out!

My bestie (the academic genius) clings to the **Director of the Eastern Depot**: “Supervisor! I know you’re not actually a eunuch!”

Director: ??? *(He heard that.)*

Me (a drama queen) hugging the **Commander of the Embroidered Uniform Guard**: “Sir! I know there’s a traitor among you!”

Commander: !!! *(He heard that too.)*

So the two of us get **packed up and taken away by two powerful enemies**, one each.

We thought we were about to face severe torture, but instead—

My bestie ends up in the Eastern Depot, becoming the Director’s **24-hour strategist**, thanks to the thoughts in her head.

And I end up in the Embroidered Uniform Guard, helping the Commander **solve countless cold cases** with my inner commentary (while occasionally admiring his abs).

Later, the two powerful big shots are **forced to turn from political enemies into allies**.

Watching the two handsome men work together to build their careers, my bestie and I exchange a glance, our thoughts perfectly in sync again:

**“We ship it! We ship it!”**

The two big shots suddenly stiffen, their expressions dark as they stare at us.

My bestie and I look at each other: “Uh… what happened?”

Later still…

In the imperial court, the Director and the Commander continue to clash fiercely.

But in private—

The Director asks: “So, what did your girl complain about me in her head today?”

The Commander snorts coldly: “Right back at you. Your girl just analyzed that the color of your court robe today makes you look like a peacock showing off its feathers.”