TIPS – Chapter 109

“It’s nothing, nothing. He’ll grow out of it,” Yang shi said, not the least bit disgusted. In her eyes, whether her eldest grandson drooled or not, he was still the most adorable child.

“Yeah, I remember Xi’er was the same when he was little…” Shen Dongming recalled, though he wasn’t completely sure. He looked at Yang shi for confirmation.

“Not at all. Xi’er didn’t drool when he was little,” Yang shi denied. How could she reveal her son’s flaws in front of her daughter-in-law?

“Oh, then I must have remembered wrong.” Shen Dongming chuckled awkwardly.

“So you used to drool as a child, huh? Benben must’ve inherited that habit from you,” Song Jingwei said with a look of mock disgust—this time not just at his son, but also at the young man pretending not to hear what they were talking about.

“Heh heh.” Shen Dongming laughed sheepishly, helpless under Yang shi’s glare. He honestly hadn’t thought much about it earlier—he just said it casually, without meaning to embarrass his son.

In the afternoon, Shen Junxi carried his son to Yang shi’s room. Yang shi was busy sewing a drool cloth for little Benben. When she saw father and son enter, she asked curiously, “Why are you here? Aren’t you taking him back to your room for his nap?” Usually, they handled Benben’s naps themselves. Unless both of them went out, they rarely had the child sleep elsewhere.

Shen Junxi laid the baby on the small bed and watched him wave his chubby little fists, his gaze turning tender. He signed to his mother, “Benben is too fussy. He doesn’t want to sleep.”

Lately, the baby had grown more energetic. Sometimes, even after a full meal, he still didn’t want to nap.

Yang shi understood right away, then teased, “You’re afraid Benben will disturb your wife’s nap, aren’t you?” In her opinion, her son truly treated his wife better than anyone. Even the baby came second.

“Mm.” Shen Junxi smiled bashfully. But since it was his own mother, he didn’t feel the need to hide it. He signed, “What do you think of my wife lately?”

Biting the end of her thread, Yang shi replied, “What about him? Isn’t he doing just fine?” Eating well, enjoying himself, and even heading out in the middle of the night yesterday to catch wild chickens—he seemed full of energy.

“Not that.” Clearly, the only one constantly paying attention to his wife’s changes was himself. After a moment of quiet, he signed again, “I’ll leave the baby here to nap. Please watch him.”

Yang shi happily agreed. “Sure. You don’t get much time to rest with him around. Go take a break while you can.”

“Mm.” After bidding farewell to his mother, Shen Junxi left Benben behind and returned alone to their courtyard.

Song Jingwei didn’t know where he had taken Benben. Seeing him come back empty-handed, he asked in confusion, “Where’s the baby?”

Shen Junxi signed, “At Mother’s.” Then he closed the door and walked over to Song Jingwei, who was still sleeping in his bed, and sat down on the edge.

Because he’d wanted to leave that bed for Benben, Song Jingwei had temporarily moved over to this side. Now that the baby wasn’t around, he sat up and said, “I’ll give the bed back to you. You sleep here.”

“….” Shen Junxi gently pressed him down to stop him from getting up, shook his head, and signed, “You keep sleeping. No need to get up.”

“….” Song Jingwei didn’t insist and just lay back down. He looked at the young man seriously and asked, “Are you still full?”

Shen Junxi blinked and then suddenly burst out laughing, his shoulders trembling as he bowed his head.

“What’s so funny?” Song Jingwei asked, confused. His face remained serious and a bit aloof, just like usual.

“Hmm…” Shen Junxi suddenly lifted his head and leaned in until his face was barely an inch from Song Jingwei’s. His eyes sparkled as he stared intently. If he could speak, he might be asking: Can I kiss you?

Though he couldn’t talk, his eyes could, and Song Jingwei understood what he meant. But he didn’t want to agree. How could he? He wasn’t someone who liked men.

So after holding his gaze for a moment, Song Jingwei said, “Get up, turn left, go sleep on that bed.”

“….” For a brief moment, Shen Junxi’s expression darkened, but it wasn’t easy to notice. His eyes still held their usual warmth, and he smiled as he got up. But instead of turning left to sleep, he remained sitting on the edge of the bed.

“If you… really want to live a normal married life…” Song Jingwei didn’t even know what he was saying. Seeing the young man’s quiet back, the words just spilled out: “I’ve told you before—you can marry a woman and live your life. Or if you like men… that’s fine too. Just make sure to treat Benben well.”

Shen Junxi turned back and covered his mouth, his expression a mix of hurt and frustration. His eyes burned with emotion as he glared at Song Jingwei.

“Hey…” Song Jingwei pushed away his hand and looked at him, slightly annoyed. This was the second time the young man had boldly covered his mouth.

“….” Shen Junxi just stared at him silently, not moving.

“What are you staring at me for? I didn’t say anything wrong,” Song Jingwei said, looking away. “Whatever you want, they can give it to you.”

Because he couldn’t give it to Shen Junxi, there was no reason to keep him from seeking it elsewhere.

“…” While his wife was still speaking, Shen Junxi suddenly and unexpectedly blocked his mouth—not with his palm this time, but with his lips.

Smack! Song Jingwei slapped him angrily. Though the force wasn’t great, the sound was exceptionally loud.

“…” Shen Junxi covered his cheek but actually smiled and signed, “I’d rather you hit me than say those things.” Those words hurt more than a slap; a slap at least was straightforward.

“You really are…” Song Jingwei didn’t know what to say. Once he calmed down, he realized his reaction just now had been too extreme—like a woman’s. He opened his mouth and said, “I didn’t mean to hit you, but don’t do that again.”

Shen Junxi focused on him and signed, “What if I do it again? Will you still hit me?”

“No,” Song Jingwei replied.

“Mm.” With his wife’s affirmation, Shen Junxi quickly leaned over and kissed his cheek again.

“Shen Junxi…” Song Jingwei glared at the young man in frustration, only to see him looking at him expectantly, as if silently inviting another slap. “Get lost! Get out of this room!”

“Nope.” Shen Junxi signed seriously, “You’re angry. If I leave, who will you vent to?” He knew he had definitely angered Song Jingwei with what he just did, and if he left now, the next time they met, he’d surely face a cold shoulder. He tentatively signed, “How about… you hit me again?” After all, his wife’s strength was just so-so…

“Get out!” Song Jingwei’s response was to raise his leg and kick him right off the bed.

“…” Shen Junxi rubbed the spot where he’d been kicked, grinning as he stood up. He didn’t sit by the bed anymore to receive cold looks from his wife. Instead, he walked over to the table, sat down, sipped tea, and watched his wife—just keeping him company.

Hearing those words earlier had hurt, but thinking about it again—was there really not the slightest bit of hesitation in his wife’s heart? Could he really just watch him find someone else?

No way.

The young man rested his head on his hand, staring earnestly at his wife. If there truly wasn’t the slightest hesitation, why hadn’t he gone to sleep yet? Why did he still look so troubled?

Speaking of troubles, Song Jingwei actually wasn’t that troubled. He was just thinking—hesitating. What happened today couldn’t be entirely blamed on the young man. Shen Junxi had dared to do such a thing only because of his own behavior, which had encouraged the young man to get close.

So Song Jingwei wasn’t entirely blaming Shen Junxi. He was just seriously thinking about how to treat the young man from now on. What would be the best way?

If he followed his original plan, he would keep as much distance as possible. But the human heart is made of flesh. After living with someone for so long, could he still treat him coldly and harshly?

Song Jingwei didn’t believe he was that cold or unfeeling. At the very least, Shen Junxi had used time to soften his defenses. Not to mention, they had a child—little Benben. As the image of their adorable son flashed in his mind, Song Jingwei tightly shut his eyes. He really was a little troubled.

One lay on the bed, the other sat quietly, both silently passing the time. After waking up from their afternoon nap, it was still early. With Benben not around, Song Jingwei got up, put on his outer garment, and prepared to go out.

Shen Junxi signed, “Where are you going?”

Song Jingwei paused and replied, “The weather is good today. I’m going to check on the tea fields.” It had been raining recently, and he hadn’t gone out in a while.

“Mm.” Shen Junxi stood up and slowly followed behind, not saying whether he was going or not.

Song Jingwei didn’t concern himself with him and went straight out, walking toward the tea fields. The weather today wasn’t exactly sunny—layers of clouds filled the sky, as if it could rain at any moment.

It wasn’t the busy farming season, so the hired hands weren’t working in the fields. Song Jingwei thought to himself that he needed to find something for them to do—something useful and that would keep attendance high. After all, if the workers had nothing to do, they wouldn’t earn wages. Over time, it would cause discontent.

As he made his rounds, Shen Junxi followed from a distance.

Every now and then, Song Jingwei would glance back unintentionally and see the young man quietly lingering in his line of sight. Sometimes he really thought Shen Junxi was very smart—he knew exactly how to act in a way that wouldn’t be annoying. For example, the distance he kept now was just right—not too close, not too far. It didn’t make him uncomfortable, yet didn’t feel distant either.

Even in his current frustrated mood, seeing Shen Junxi like that, Song Jingwei couldn’t bring himself to stay angry.

He ignored the young man in the distance and continued walking through the fields for a long time. After inspecting the tea fields, he went to check on the lotus ponds. One pond after another lay neatly side by side, with many round lotus leaves already growing. Lotus roots could be harvested in a year—around August, continuing through to the end of the year.

As time passed, the young man slowly approached, eventually standing quietly beside Song Jingwei. The two of them gazed out at the vast lotus pond together.

“In the future, this place will become very beautiful.”

“Mm.” Catching sight of the young man’s signing from the corner of his eye, Song Jingwei grunted in response.

Seeing that he was willing to acknowledge him, Shen Junxi’s lips curled slightly as he signed: “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore?”

“I don’t want to,” Song Jingwei replied, hands behind his back.

“What’s wrong? Are you upset because I was too forward?” Shen Junxi tilted his head to glance at him, still smiling as he signed, “It’s because I like you. That’s why I couldn’t help myself and wanted to get close to you.” But being together every day, the other party always treated him like a simple companion, never showing the slightest interest in getting closer.

“But I’ve told you before, I won’t like you, at least not in that way.” He had never considered having anything romantic with someone of the same sex.

“Mm.” Shen Junxi had heard this before. It still hurt, but he wasn’t discouraged. He signed: “We have a long time ahead. I’ll wait for you.” If one year wasn’t enough, then two. If two weren’t enough, then five. If not five, then ten. By then, their son would be grown, and even if there was no romantic love, there would at least be familial affection.

“But if I never accept you, will your life just stay like this?” They couldn’t live like an ordinary couple. Song Jingwei didn’t want the young man to be deprived of love and emotional support. He said: “You’re just fixated on the present. It’s only because I’m the one currently living with you, and we have Benben. That’s all. Think carefully—Is this really the life you want?”

“I’ve thought about it seriously. It’s not obsession. Why won’t you believe me?” Shen Junxi looked at him intently and signed: “I really like you. I admire you.” He longed for him, dreamed of being close, and often thought how wonderful it would be if Song Jingwei liked him too.

Song Jingwei fell silent. He personally despised people who thought the world revolved around their own views, who believed that what they thought must be correct. And yet, he had just made the same mistake—He shouldn’t have been so quick to deny the truth of Shen Junxi’s feelings. And from what he could sense, he knew the young man wasn’t lying. That care and cherishing—it was real.

“I won’t try to convince you. I’ll just keep waiting.” He knew that his partner had many internal barriers he couldn’t get past. He didn’t want to persuade him. He just wanted to wait quietly. The day would come.

“If you’re really going to wait, then don’t act like this,” Song Jingwei said, exasperated, glancing at him. “If you want to wait, then do it honestly. Otherwise, I’ll still kick you.”

Shen Junxi chuckled softly, raised a hand to cover his mouth, but the sparkle in his eyes betrayed his delight.

Song Jingwei turned his head and opened his mouth slightly. He suddenly realized— Today’s Shen Junxi was different. He could clearly feel now that this person had been pretending all along.

“Shen Junxi,” As soon as he realized this, his face darkened, and he asked seriously: “Tell me honestly—were you pretending before?”

“Hm?” Shen Junxi didn’t understand and looked at him with puzzled eyes.

“I’m asking if you were pretending,” Song Jingwei repeated.

Shen Junxi signed: “What do you mean by ‘pretending’?”

Song Jingwei gave him a cold glance and said: “You’ve always had plenty of ideas in your head. I don’t mind that, but don’t scheme against me.”

Shen Junxi still seemed confused, but he more or less understood what Song Jingwei meant. After thinking for a moment, he signed: “Why would you think that? I haven’t hidden anything from you, and I’ve never schemed against you.”

“You’d better not have,” Song Jingwei said, not entirely convinced. Still, he felt slightly unsettled, like things were slipping out of his control.

“You’re overthinking,” Shen Junxi smiled at him. After signing, he didn’t say anything else and just quietly stayed there.

Coincidentally, Song Jingwei didn’t want to talk to him either. So the two remained silent all the way home.

Even though neither spoke, the young man was very attentive— Constantly observing his expression and taking care of things here and there.

Was it guilt? But when he looked into Shen Junxi’s eyes with doubt, the young man met his gaze openly, without the slightest hint of guilt.

When Song Jingwei wanted to bathe, he carried the water. When he wanted to read, he lit the lamp and made tea. When he wanted to write, he ground the ink for him.

Throughout it all, he made no sound, quiet as can be, and his demeanor was calm—like still water.

“I want to be alone,” Song Jingwei said. He had purposely come to the study to read instead of staying in the bedroom, just so he could be by himself.

Shen Junxi’s hand paused mid-motion as he ground the ink, then he resumed fluidly. He quietly finished, adjusted the oil lamp on the desk, and lingered for a bit.

Seeing Song Jingwei watching him, seemingly waiting for an answer, he signed: “Then come rest early. I’ll head out now.”

“Mm,” Song Jingwei replied. After a pause, he added, “Go bring Benben over. You sleep with him tonight.” He felt it was too much trouble to leave the child with Shen Dongming and Yang Shi, since looking after a baby overnight was tiring.

“Okay,” Shen Junxi agreed. He looked at him once more, then left.

In Yang Shi’s room, Shen Dongming was already lying down. Yang Shi was still holding the baby, happily playing with the spirited child. Seeing her son come in, she whispered: “Why are you here? Coming to take Benben back?”