USWHC -Chapter 123 Happy New Year (Part 3)

The twenty-third day: the Kitchen God ascends to the heavens; the twenty-fourth: write big characters; the twenty-fifth: sweep away dust; the twenty-sixth: buy large cuts of meat; the twenty-seventh: kill the rooster; the twenty-eighth: let the dough rise; the twenty-ninth: don’t stop working; the thirtieth night: play all night, and on New Year’s Day, walk the streets.

The New Year is nothing if not busy. Yet, everyone celebrates with extraordinary joy. Even so, on the morning of New Year’s Eve, the Ji family courtyard was already boiling with commotion.

Outside, Old Madam Ji stood with her hands on her hips, cursing loudly. New Year’s Eve and already raising her voice? Didn’t anyone know about this?

“Which despicable wretch! Right in the middle of the New Year, running around tearing down other people’s Spring Festival couplets? Couldn’t afford them, huh? Just stick a blank sheet of paper on the door! But no, this scoundrel had to be outrageously cruel and took down our couplets! That cost me five copper coins!”

Everyone in the courtyard strained to hear, finally catching what Old Madam Ji was shouting. Upon hearing this, the crowd surged out of the house immediately.

“Good heavens, this is sheer cruelty with smoke! Didn’t tear them before, but right before the New Year, they had to rip ours! Must have a grudge against our family!” Elder Ji scowled, staring at the two bare doorframes.

“Exactly! These couplets are so important! They carry a year’s worth of joy, and now that they’re torn, they’ll surely bring us a year of bad luck!” Zhu Jie chimed in dramatically from beside him.

But at this moment, Old Madam Ji had no attention left for anyone else. Her eyes were fixed only on the now-vanished couplets.

For a superstitious—or rather, traditionally respectful—rural grandmother, not having couplets during the New Year was a bad omen! She might feel unlucky for the whole year!

Old Madam Ji was furious! Yet, she couldn’t fathom who would do such a thing. Sure, the village was full of poor people, probably none with any money. But would a poor person really come and tear down her couplets? No way.

Besides, their couplets were just the generic kind bought at the market—the usual “Spring returns to the earth” type of blessings. Hardly worth anyone tearing! Honestly, if she had to choose, she’d rather rip down the original work of the old scholar in the east of the village than her run-of-the-mill couplets.

And yet, something strange had happened. Nobody else’s was touched—only hers. Good heavens! Last night, surely Heaven was napping!

“What do we do now? It’s already the thirtieth. The town probably isn’t selling anything anymore, right?” Zhu Jie wailed, fanning the flames. “How are we supposed to celebrate now?”

Old Madam Ji turned to glare at her, clearly annoyed at her comments. Yet even if she didn’t like hearing them, some truths had to be acknowledged.

“It seems there’s still a piece of red paper at home. Why don’t we just paste that on?” Old Master Ji suggested with a long, helpless sigh.

Having a bare door on New Year’s Eve would indeed be improper. Of course, as Old Madam Ji said, pasting a blank sheet would be even worse—it’s basically cursing your family!

“Paste a piece of red paper? Won’t that just make us look ridiculous?” Unexpectedly, Zhu Jie seemed eager—perhaps a little too eager—about this idea.

But no one had reacted yet when she continued: “Without couplets, anyone who doesn’t know might think we’re poor, that we can’t even afford a pair of couplets!”

“How could I not afford them? I bought them! But which damn rascal tore them down!” Old Madam Ji exploded like a firecracker. Her voice alone was terrifyingly fierce.

Zhu Jie, however, let out a low sigh. “People’s hearts are hard to read. What do you think Er Gou’s mother would say?”

Mentioning that woman immediately silenced Old Madam Ji. Of course! That foul-mouthed Er Gou Niang would surely put the worst possible spin on it.

“A stingy miser who won’t even put up couplets for the New Year!” Yes, Old Madam Ji could already hear that sharp, cruel voice in her head.

No, she had spent her money! She couldn’t let people say that! Old Madam Ji grew even more anxious—what should they do now?

Watching her panic, someone’s heart quietly leapt with glee. Heh heh, the prey is about to walk right into the trap!