SBCEJM -Chapter 275 Explosive Reveal! The Grand Empress Dowager Holds a Village-Level “If You Are the One” Dating Show… and Joins in Himself?

【Right, in the royal village they call this event the “Good Match Assembly”!】

【What the hell! Isn’t this just a historical version of If You Are the One?!】

Crown Princess Feng Zeyan felt a sudden buzz in her brain—then everything clicked in an instant.

“If You Are the One?”

This strange new term plunged the entire court into collective confusion once again.

On the dragon throne, Xiao Juechen didn’t understand the phrase either, but he was deeply shaken.

His father… had actually turned the matter of imperial marriage into something like a lively market where people pick goods?

At that moment, the system projected a PPT-style visual explanation:

【This “Good Match Assembly” is held once every year after the autumn harvest, without fail.】

【The venue is the largest threshing ground at the village entrance, decorated with colorful flags like a temple fair.】

【Eligible maidens sit on a temporary raised platform on the north side, each with a basket of freshly picked wildflowers in front of them—like judges.】

【On the south side stands a dense crowd of all the unmarried men in the village, including those once arrogant, nose-in-the-air imperial princes.】

【The process is simple and brutal: male contestants go on stage one by one to show talents and promote themselves.】

【If a girl takes a liking to someone, she throws a flower into his bamboo basket.】

【Whoever collects the most flowers gets the right to “reverse choose” and confess to the girl he fancies.】

【Whether it succeeds still depends on whether the girl agrees to marry him.】

The entire court was stunned into silence.

This… this was unheard of!

Since ancient times, marriage had always followed parental orders and matchmakers.

When had anyone ever seen men stand on stage like livestock for women to pick and choose?

And worse—those “livestock” were imperial princes of the royal bloodline!

The Grand Empress Dowager’s actions had already crossed the line of shockingly bold.

It was practically dragging ancestral rites through the mud.

【The scene? Tsk tsk, livelier than the street acrobats at the capital’s bridge entrance by a hundred times!】

The system sounded excited, as if reliving it.

【For a basket of wildflowers, those noble young masters completely abandoned dignity!】

【Some performed chest-busting rock-breaking stunts on the spot, hammers swinging with terrifying force!】

【Some split logs with bare hands—one strike and wood chips flew everywhere!】

【And those who really had no talent just carried giant pumpkins bigger than millstones to show off their waist strength!】

Feng Zeyan was laughing so hard in her mind she nearly rolled over.

【What about the princes? Did their Confucian classics, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting still matter?】

【Not much use—but great for comedy.】

The system delivered a merciless add-on.

【Once, the Ninth Prince—renowned for his literary talent—refused to give up.】

【He walked onto the stage in a pristine white robe and recited the entire “Rhapsody on the Goddess of the Luo River” with deep emotion.】

【It was profoundly moving, rhythmic, full of passion.】

【And the result?】

【A female blacksmith who could swing an eighty-jin hammer casually picked her ear and shouted:】

【‘Can your flowery words feed me? Can they help me forge two more jin of iron? If not, get off the stage and stop blocking the chest-breaking show!’】

【The Ninth Prince shattered on the spot, frozen like stone in the wind.】

【In the end, it was only his younger brother, the Fourteenth Prince, who secretly tossed a wild weed into his empty basket… just to save him a shred of dignity.】

Even the usually stern Prime Minister Lin’s mouth twitched into waves.

His carefully maintained beard trembled violently as he struggled not to laugh himself into injury.

Xiao Juechen clenched his palm tightly.

He imagined that elegant, proud Ninth Brother being completely crushed in front of a muscular female blacksmith…

An inexplicable, satisfying feeling rose in his chest.

【Of course, there are always exceptions.】

The system changed tone.

【The Thirteenth Prince, once the Empress Dowager’s favorite.】

【Weak constitution, no strength, no hunting ability—couldn’t even catch a rabbit.】

【For two consecutive years, at the “Good Match Assembly,” his bamboo basket was emptier than his face. Meanwhile, his peers already had children running around.】

【By the third year, he snapped.】

【When it was his turn, he didn’t break rocks or recite poetry.】

【Instead, he dropped to his knees in front of a newly “introduced” divine female physician.】

The court went silent.

【Tears streaming down his face, he cried:】

【‘Sister… I may be weak, but I’m kind! I can do accounts! I can manage a household!’】

【‘I can’t farm, but I can wash clothes, cook, and even massage your feet!’】

【Then, in a moment of desperation—】

【He lifted his plain shirt and revealed a pale, rarely-seen abdomen.】

【With a trembling voice, he shouted: ‘Sister! Is there still hope for me? Please take me in!’】

“Cough cough cough!!!”

Crown Prince Xiao Mingxuan nearly choked to death, his face red as he coughed tears out.

My Thirteenth Imperial Uncle!!

Where is your dignity?! Your royal pride?!

Did you trade it all for a wife?!

The entire court twisted their expressions, wanting to laugh but holding it in so hard their faces nearly deformed.

This wasn’t an imperial matchmaking event anymore.

It was a full-scale “pity-me-and-take-me-home” performance!

【And the female physician? She was straightforward. She’d seen life and death, and she had a soft spot for this kind of delicate, slightly scheming charm.】

【She burst out laughing, then threw the entire basket of flowers—basket included—onto him!】

【Declaring boldly: ‘This pretty boy looks pleasing. Take him home to wash my feet. He’s mine!’】

【And just like that, the Thirteenth Prince succeeded in marrying up through precise self-positioning and shameless “tea art.”】

【Brilliant! This is textbook differentiated competition strategy!】

Feng Zeyan gave an approving mental thumbs-up.

【This business sense is wasted if he doesn’t go into commerce!】

【Others compete in strength; he competes in service. Others show dominance; he shows vulnerability.】

【This move was basically precision-targeted customer acquisition!】

The Minister of Revenue was utterly bewildered.

Yet the more he thought about it, the more sense it strangely made.

The system continued:

【After more than a decade, the Grand Empress Dowager looked at the village with great satisfaction.】

【All the princes were married, established families, and even grandchildren were running around everywhere.】

【Even the hidden guards mostly found companions.】

Then its tone shifted slightly.

【Now, the only problem became increasingly obvious.】

Feng Zeyan immediately caught it.

【Everyone in the village is paired up…】

【So doesn’t that leave only the Grand Empress Dowager himself as the only single one?】

【Correct!】

The system snapped its fingers.

【Every night, while watching his sons enjoying family life…】

【Our great village head, the honorable Grand Empress Dowager, could only sit alone in an empty house, sighing at an oil lamp.】

【Loneliness… who understands it?】

【So he, too, developed mortal desires.】

【He wanted a companion of his own.】

【Wait—what?!】

Feng Zeyan sucked in a cold breath mentally.

【Still energetic in old age?!】

【He’s planning to personally join the “Good Match Assembly”?】

【Is he going to find himself a village bride?!】

A vivid image popped into her mind:

A well-preserved man who looked barely fifty, insisting on acting elderly, trembling onto the stage… then suddenly ripping open his robe to reveal eight-pack abs, winking at the village women below—

Xiao Juechen’s temple veins twitched violently.

This damned girl… she’s not even sparing his father’s dignity anymore.