SBCEJM -Chapter 235 The Assistant Minister of Revenue’s Bandit Wife! From Burlap Sack to True Love!

The expressions of the civil and military officials completely lost control.

Some had their jaws hanging open, mouths forming a giant “O.”

Others pinched their thighs so hard they grimaced in pain, wondering if they were still dreaming.

Several younger officials had turned red in the face, desperately holding back laughter.

【Hahahaha! A bandit groom!】

Feng Zexuan laughed so hard tears nearly came out.

【These days, becoming an official means first passing the “bandit trial”? That’s harder than the imperial exams!】

The system added: 【Oh right, that female chief of Black Wind Stronghold had quite the famous title—Black Lotus!】

【Within a hundred li, even mountain bandits would take a detour after hearing her name!】

In the officials’ ranks, Assistant Minister of Revenue Li Qian had already given up struggling altogether and simply closed his eyes.

A look of “Do whatever you want, I’m already dead inside” spread across his face.

That dark and windy night thirty years ago was still vivid in his memory.

He had been tied up by his stepmother’s servants and thrown into the barren wilderness.

Several pairs of glowing green wolf eyes crept closer from the darkness, their growls enough to make one’s scalp go numb.

Just when he thought death was inevitable, a tall figure descended from the sky.

With a few punches and kicks, the starving wolves fled howling in pain.

Li Qian originally thought some heroic wanderer had come to his rescue and was about to offer thanks.

Instead, the woman walked closer with a torch in hand and looked him over from head to toe.

Then she licked her lips.

“Tsk. Pretty handsome for a little scholar. I just happen to need a husband for my stronghold. You coming with me or not?”

Li Qian was terrified out of his mind, shaking his head so hard it looked like a rattle drum.

And then…

Well, there was no “then.”

A rough burlap sack dropped over his head, and the world went dark.

When he woke up again, red wedding candles flickered around him, festive bedding beneath him, and beside him lay a sleeping female bandit with a smug smile at the corner of her lips.

That expression clearly said:

“Tonight, this lady struck gold.”

【Holy crap! Lord Li was literally kidnapped into marriage!】

Feng Zexuan was laughing uncontrollably.

【What happened afterward? Did he just accept fate? Didn’t he try to run away?】

The system immediately switched into storyteller mode, voice rising and falling dramatically.

【Host, you underestimate the backbone of scholars!】

【For the first three days, Lord Li went on a hunger strike in protest!】

【But Madam Black Lotus didn’t indulge him at all. She directly had a physician pry open his mouth and force bowls of ginseng soup down his throat.】

【She even threatened him, saying if he wasted a single drop, she’d personally feed him mouth-to-mouth!】

【Lord Li was so angry he cried while calling her a bandit, a tyrant, shameless beyond reason!】

【Madam Black Lotus just stood there with her hands on her hips laughing loudly. “That’s right, this lady is a bandit! I specialize in robbing tender little scholars like you. Go on, keep cursing. The more you curse, the more strength you’ll have to eat later. If you curse well enough, I’ll even add a chicken drumstick to your meal!”】

The corners of the officials’ mouths twitched uncontrollably.

This lady truly was… bold!

Feng Huai’an secretly glanced at Li Qian, feeling both sympathy and admiration.

This colleague of his really hadn’t had it easy.

【On the seventh day, Lord Li seized an opportunity. While Madam Black Lotus took her men down the mountain for “work,” he secretly escaped.】

【He ran through the mountains for an entire day and night. The soles of his shoes wore through, and his feet were covered in bloody blisters.】

【Just as he was about to reach the official road at the foot of the mountain, he was so excited—freedom was right in front of him…】

The system deliberately paused.

【And then…】

The system chuckled mischievously.

【Madam Black Lotus came leisurely riding over from the other end of the road on a tall horse.】

【In her hand were two steaming meat buns. From far away she waved at him: “Husband, tired from running? Here, eat a bun first before you continue.”】

【Lord Li’s legs gave out on the spot, and he collapsed to the ground.】

【Looking at those steaming buns, a surge of grievance and absurdity shot straight to his head.】

【Tears instantly came pouring down.】

The scene was so vivid that many officials’ shoulders began shaking violently.

Too tragic!

This wasn’t escape—it was dimensionality reduction warfare!

【The most outrageous time was when Lord Li actually made it to the county town and was just about to rush into the yamen to beat the grievance drum.】

【The moment he turned around, Madam Black Lotus appeared behind him like a ghost, holding a candied hawthorn stick.】

【“Husband, reporting to the authorities? Sure, I’ll go with you. You tell the magistrate I kidnapped you, and I’ll say you’re my runaway husband. Let’s confront each other in court and see who the honorable magistrate believes.”】

【Lord Li was so furious he nearly coughed blood.】

【Because Madam Black Lotus had already bribed the necessary people and even forged a marriage certificate!】

【It clearly stated that Li Qian had willingly married into Black Wind Stronghold. The handwriting imitation was so flawless that even he stared at it in confusion—Did I really write this myself?】

“Pfft—”

This time even more people failed to hold back their laughter.

Even Prime Minister Lin Zhengyan coughed violently, covering his face with his sleeve.

This Madam Black Lotus had both courage and brains—a true genius among bandits!

【Lord Li completely despaired.】

【He stayed in the stronghold for half a year. From intense resistance, to numb resignation, and finally… he actually got used to it.】

【Because although Madam Black Lotus was domineering, she genuinely treated him well.】

【Whenever the stronghold obtained something good, the very first share was always brought to him.】

【When he wanted books, Madam Black Lotus went down the mountain and “wholesaled” an entire cartload from the bookstore.】

【When he said he missed the osmanthus cakes from his hometown, she immediately rode three hundred li to buy them for him, returning with hands frozen stiff.】

【When he fell ill, Madam Black Lotus stayed by his side for three days and nights without removing her clothes, her eyes bloodshot from exhaustion.】

Hearing this, Feng Zexuan felt her heart soften.

【This… although the beginning was a bit rough, her feelings were real.】

【And did you notice? From beginning to end, Madam Black Lotus never truly forced herself on him. She just wanted to marry him openly and properly.】

【That’s far more honorable than certain refined-looking scum who secretly drug people behind closed doors!】

As soon as those words came out, the officials unconsciously nodded.

Indeed, though this lady came from the jianghu, her conduct was open and sincere, her feelings genuine and passionate.

【A year later, Lord Li finally understood his own heart.】

【That day, Madam Black Lotus led people down the mountain and encountered a government suppression force. She was struck by an arrow.】

【When Lord Li heard the news, he rushed out of the stronghold like a madman, forgetting all his scholarly manners as he sprinted down the mountain.】

【When he saw the arrow embedded in Madam Black Lotus’s shoulder and blood pouring down, tears instantly streamed from his eyes.】

【Only then did he realize this overbearing female bandit had already entered his heart.】

【The two held another wedding ceremony, and this time Lord Li sincerely spoke the words “I am willing.”】

Silence filled the Golden Hall.

The way everyone looked at Li Qian gradually shifted from schadenfreude to admiration.

【Two years later, the imperial court granted amnesty to the bandits, and Black Wind Stronghold dissolved.】

【Madam Black Lotus then brought Lord Li and all their savings down the mountain, encouraging him to continue pursuing official honors.】

【Lord Li also lived up to expectations. He passed the provincial exams at twenty-five, became a jinshi at thirty, and steadily climbed to his current position as Assistant Minister of Revenue.】

【As for Madam Black Lotus, she restrained her sharp edges and became a virtuous wife at home.】

【It’s just that…】

The system chuckled.

【That domineering “my word is law” temperament is carved into her bones. She can’t change it.】

【So no matter how imposing Lord Li acts outside, at home he still has to obey his wife.】

【If Madam tells him to kneel on a washboard, he absolutely dares not kneel on an abacus instead.】

【If Madam orders him to stand facing the wall reflecting for an hour, he wouldn’t dare shorten it by even a quarter-hour.】

Feng Zexuan sighed inwardly.

【That’s actually a pretty good ending. The beginning was melodramatic, but the rest is genuinely sweet.】

【Lord Li is also a true man who knows gratitude and repays kindness. Worthy of respect.】

Feeling the change in everyone’s gazes, Li Qian’s tense body finally relaxed.

He lifted his head and calmly met the crowd’s eyes.

Yes. He had never regretted it.

Though he had been forcibly taken back then, years of mutual support and companionship had long since made him cherish it willingly.

【But Host, this still isn’t the best part!】

The system suddenly changed tone, sounding excited again.

【Lord Li’s story at most counts as “passive henpecked husband”—still fairly normal.】

【There’s an even more outrageous one in this hall right now—someone who actively seeks death and gets brutally tormented by his wife every single day!】

【Now that’s entertaining!】

Feng Zexuan’s eyes lit up.

【Oh? There’s actually someone that masochistic? Hurry up and tell me! Who is it?】

The system scanned the hall before locking onto its target.

【It’s that Assistant Director Wang from the Ministry of Personnel!】

At the back of the officials’ ranks, a robust middle-aged man trembled violently.

His face instantly turned deathly pale.

It was over.

Now it was his turn.