As the yamen officers from Jingzhao Prefecture arrived at the gate of Courtyard No. 13 in Osmanthus Alley, they immediately heard pig-like screams coming from inside.
“Ahhh——it hurts!!”
“Someone just kill me already!”
Behind Official Li, Feng Zexuan covered her mouth, trying desperately not to laugh.
【System, your magical chili powder effect is way too explosive.】
【That screaming sounds exactly like a slaughterhouse pig.】
【Don’t worry, Host! This is just the beginning!】
The system looked extremely pleased with itself.
【There are still twelve hours of continuous damage left! He’ll remember this for the rest of his life!】
【Hahaha, I really am a genius!】
Official Li’s mouth twitched as he listened to the inner thoughts.
The Northern King’s methods of messing with people were truly… layered.
He pushed open the slightly ajar courtyard gate.
Liu Quan was sprawled on the ground, rolling around while clutching his backside.
He looked like a rabid wild dog.
“What’s wrong with this guy, why is he screaming nonstop?” a passing auntie peeked in curiously.
“No idea. Even after the doctor applied medicine, it didn’t help,” someone nearby replied.
“As soon as the ointment went on, he screamed even louder, said it was like pouring oil on fire!”
Liu Quan heard the commotion and struggled to lift his head.
When he saw the officers and Feng Zexuan, his entire body froze.
It was over.
He was going to be arrested!
“L-Lord…” he stammered, teeth chattering.
Official Li kept a stern face.
“Search the place!”
Several officers rushed inside and began rummaging through the room.
Soon, one of them found a hidden compartment under the bed and pulled out a thick stack of banknotes.
“Sir! Found it!”
Official Li took the notes and flipped through them, frowning deeply.
Each note was worth fifty or a hundred taels.
At least several tens of thousands of taels in total.
“You’re just an ordinary citizen. Where did you get so much money?”
Liu Quan endured the pain in his backside, but his survival instinct was even stronger.
“I’ve been wronged, my lord!”
He cried out.
“My younger brother sent it to me!”
“Your younger brother?”
Official Li stared at him coldly.
“What does he do?”
“He works in the palace! Serves the Emperor!”
“These are all his reward savings!”
The crowd outside erupted into murmurs.
“Working in the palace earns this much?”
“The Emperor gives out that much reward money?”
“I don’t buy it…”
【Quite the imagination.】
【Still refusing to admit it.】
Feng Zexuan stepped forward.
“Official Li, please bring a bowl of clean water.”
Though confused, Official Li ordered someone to bring it.
Feng Zexuan took a banknote and dipped the lower right corner into the water.
After a few seconds, a tiny word gradually appeared.
A faint “Feng” character.
“This is a secret mark of my household.”
Feng Zexuan raised the note.
“All banknotes issued from my estate have this ‘Feng’ mark in the lower right corner.”
“It only appears when soaked in water.”
Liu Quan’s face turned deathly pale.
“N-No way…”
She dipped several more notes, one by one.
Each of them revealed the same “Feng” character.
The crowd exploded.
“My god! He stole from the Northern King!”
“That’s bold beyond belief!”
“No wonder he lives so well—he stole it!”
Cold sweat dripped down Liu Quan’s forehead.
The pain in his backside flared up again, making his vision blur.
Feng Zexuan calmly collected the banknotes.
“Official Li, he also has a younger sister named Liu Ying, currently serving in the palace.”
Official Li frowned.
“In the palace?”
“Yes. Disguised as a man. Pretending to be a eunuch.”
The entire crowd froze.
What?
A woman disguised as a man?
Sneaking into the palace?
As a eunuch?!
“H-How is that possible?” someone stammered.
“A eunuch… isn’t that…”
Even Official Li was shocked, but he quickly regained composure.
“Does the Northern King have evidence?”
Feng Zexuan took out a letter and handed it over.
“This is a letter Liu Ying wrote to Liu Quan. Everything is clearly stated.”
Official Li opened it. His expression darkened as he read.
The letter detailed their entire operation of stealing banknotes from inside and outside cooperation.
When to steal, how much, how to hide it, how to smuggle it out…
Even how profits were split—everything was recorded clearly.
“W-Where did you get this?”
Liu Quan’s eyes widened in disbelief.
He had clearly hidden that letter carefully. How could it be in her hands?
【Of course I had the system forge it!】
【But the contents are all real, so he can’t refute it anyway!】
Official Li and the surrounding crowd, who could hear her thoughts, suddenly understood.
So it was the Northern King’s divine ability!
Feng Zexuan remained expressionless.
“Written by your sister herself. Where do you think it came from?”
Liu Quan: “……”
Official Li waved his hand.
“Take him away! Give him twenty heavy lashes first!”
“Then send him to prison!”
“W-Wait!” Liu Quan panicked.
“Spare me!”
Before he could finish, another wave of burning pain hit him and he collapsed again.
“My butt!!”
“It hurts so much!!”
“I don’t know what’s going on!”
“It’s like it’s on fire!”
Official Li frowned.
“What exactly is wrong with your backside?”
“I don’t know!” Liu Quan sobbed.
“It suddenly started burning like crazy!”
“I’ve soaked it in water three times already—it’s still worse!”
“It feels like it’s going to split open!”
The coroner was called over.
He crouched down and examined carefully under torchlight.
He sucked in a sharp breath.
“Sir… his backside is red and swollen, covered in dense blisters.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this.”
The crowd murmured in shock again.
Feng Zexuan sighed dramatically.
“This condition… is clearly chili poison.”
“Chili poison?”
“Yes,” she said seriously.
“It’s an extremely rare toxin. Once it touches the skin, it causes intense itching and burning pain.”
“If no antidote is taken, the pain lasts for a full month.”
“And it gets worse over time, until the victim faints from pain.”
She paused.
“Luckily, I just happen to have an antidote.”
Liu Quan’s eyes lit up as if he had found salvation.
“Milord! My lord!”
“I’ll confess! I’ll tell everything!”
“Please give me the antidote!”
Official Li snorted.
“Confess first, then we’ll talk.”
Liu Quan quickly and shakily confessed everything.
After hearing it all, Official Li slammed the table.
“Brazen criminals!”
“Take him away and imprison him!”
“Once Liu Ying and that procurement eunuch are caught, interrogate them together!”
At that moment, Feng Zexuan took out a chocolate from her sleeve and tossed it to Liu Quan.
“Eat it.”
Without thinking, Liu Quan stuffed it into his mouth.
Sweet.
Strangely delicious.
His eyes lit up.
So the antidote tastes this good!
But after a while, his pain didn’t ease—in fact, it got worse.
“Your Highness!”
He panicked.
“Did you give me the wrong medicine?”
Feng Zexuan smiled faintly.
“Why are you in such a hurry?”
“Wait another ten hours, and it’ll stop hurting.”
Liu Quan froze.
Ten hours?!
That meant he’d be in pain until tomorrow noon!
“N-No, Your Highness…”
Before he could finish, two officers dragged him away.
“Ow! Gentle! Gentle!”
“Your Honor, give me a new pair of pants!”
“This one’s ruined! It’s contaminated with poison!”
His cries faded into the distance.
The surrounding neighbors continued gossiping.
“Serves him right! Stealing from the Northern King—that’s suicide!”
“I’ve heard the Northern King is ruthless. Today I finally saw it!”
“I’m staying far away from this courtyard from now on… who knows if there’s lingering poison!”
Feng Zexuan stretched lazily.
【Arresting thieves in the middle of the night… do I have it easy?】
【Can’t even sleep properly.】
【Alright, case closed. Time to go home and sleep!】
She turned to leave.
Suddenly, the system exploded in her mind.
【Host! Big news! Huge news!】
【What news?】
Feng Zexuan yawned.
【I’m exhausted. Can it wait until tomorrow?】
【No! This one is time-sensitive!】
The system panicked.
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