LFHYB -Chapter 76 The Imperial Procession Marches for Three Months

Pei Shiju’s advice for Li Shimin and Li Xuanba to bring golden eagle chicks as tribute was purely well-intentioned.

If he hadn’t fancied himself as their teacher, he wouldn’t have meddled in it.

So even though Li Shimin and Li Xuanba felt a little uncomfortable about it, they didn’t mind too much. They even found a golden eagle chick for Pei Shiju to raise for fun.

At first, Pei Shiju was very enthusiastic. But after being pecked while feeding it by hand, he gave up.

Golden eagles are fierce-tempered birds; it’s more interesting to watch someone else raise them than to do it yourself.

The chicks that Li Xuanba raised were particularly close to him and never pecked him.

Li Shimin’s chicks, however, would peck at him. But after he fought them a bit with a small wooden stick, the two chicks obediently recognized him as the “leader” who fed them and disciplined them. Every command was followed immediately, even more obedient than Li Xuanba’s.

When Li Xuanba gave commands, the chicks would roll onto their backs and play dead—no meat, no learning.

Li Xuanba scolded the chicks angrily.

The chicks turned their little backsides toward him.

Li Shimin was shocked. “Hangu and Wudi are really smart! And they even throw little tantrums at you!”

Li Xuanba said, “Da Jin and Xiao Jin really are clever.”

The two brothers exchanged a glance.

Li Shimin said, “The names you chose are way too lazy. Look at this slightly larger chick—the tip of its beak has a silver sheen, like a curved dagger glinting with cold light. The smaller chick’s tail feathers are black, like a jet-black arrow. They should be called Hangu and Wudi!”

Li Xuanba said, “Too much of a mouthful. Just call them Da Jin and Xiao Jin.”

Li Shimin said, “I raised these chicks; they absolutely cannot have such lazy names! Right, Hangu, Wudi?”

The chicks ignored him.

Li Xuanba reached out. “Da Jin, Xiao Jin.”

The chicks turned their heads, then turned back, continuing to stick their little rears toward Li Xuanba.

Li Xuanba raised an eyebrow at Li Shimin.

Li Shimin frowned. “They’re still little; it’s better that they don’t understand the names I gave them. You’ve given them such stupid names—how will they face people in the future? Change them immediately! There’s still time!”

Li Xuanba knew that his famous older brother, the “Mary Sue” of naming, had chosen better names. He just liked to bicker with his second brother out of habit.

After bickering, he taught the chicks their new names.

Golden eagles really are smart, but these chicks were way too smart—especially in front of Li Xuanba.

Golden eagles are classified as “falcons,” and in studies on bird brain size, they rank eighth, just behind corvids. They have complete logical thinking, excellent memory, can hold grudges, imitate simple human actions, and use tools to a limited degree.

But intelligence develops with the body; even humans are “helpless” at birth, relying only on instinct. These chicks were less than a month old but already so emotionally reactive—their intelligence was too high.

Li Xuanba speculated it might be due to his mental energy stimulating them.

He had continuously “broadcast” his mental energy. For humans, this energy was too weak to do anything, but for the fragile little chicks, it might have been overstimulating.

Even adult golden eagles can’t compare to humans in intelligence. If their intelligence and obedience reached that of a seven- or eight-year-old child, it would already be extraordinary.

Li Xuanba had originally considered raising other animals but abandoned the idea. Other animals have shorter lifespans; if he raised a smart one carefully, he would have to say goodbye in a decade or two.

Golden eagles live about forty years in captivity. Even if the chicks lived a full lifespan, he would already be fifty.

Given his own health, he didn’t know who would be left to bury whom. Raising just the chicks was enough.

Li Xuanba patted the chicks’ heads. “From now on, I’ll rename you: Da Jin is Hangu, Xiao Jin is Wudi.”

The chicks looked at him blankly, not understanding.

But as long as he consistently used the new names when feeding, they would remember eventually.

When they grew older, should he teach them arithmetic? If they learned, would they become even naughtier?

Li Xuanba absentmindedly stroked their feathers.

Hangu allowed him to pet it obediently. Wudi’s eyes darted, then it lifted its rear and shot bird droppings right onto Li Xuanba’s finger.

“Chirp chirp chirp!” Wudi hopped and jumped toward Li Shimin.

Li Xuanba took out a handkerchief to wipe off the droppings, sneering, “No meat for you today!”

Li Shimin held Wudi protectively. “It’s still little; it can’t go without meat. Don’t be angry—it’s just a newborn, it’s unintentional.”

Li Xuanba swore. “You call that unintentional when it pooped on me?!”

Li Shimin insisted, “Yes! It’s unintentional!”

Li Xuanba said, “If you pamper them like this, how will they ever hunt?”

Li Shimin said, “Then we’ll get the strictest falcon trainers! I know what it means to spoil them, but as long as I don’t see it, it’s fine!”

Li Xuanba laughed angrily. He finally understood why his second brother’s son had turned out that way. Spoil the child to fragility on one hand, then let others oppress him relentlessly—the odds of raising a psychologically normal person are basically zero!

Li Xuanba patiently lectured his second brother on the wrong way he was raising the eaglets.

How could Li Shimin possibly win an argument against Li Xuanba? He couldn’t even argue with Wei Zheng.

So Li Shimin awkwardly gave up the lead in teaching the young eagles, taking a supporting role instead, muttering from the side, “They’re really still very young, don’t be too strict.”

Li Xuanba felt that his second brother must be the kind of elder young people in the future would find most annoying when raising children. You’re teaching the child, and he just keeps babbling beside you, “Oh, never mind, never mind.”

Luckily, the eaglets couldn’t understand complicated human speech, or they would have ended up useless.

Li Xuanba locked Wudi away, letting it watch Hangu eat meat, and only released it after Hangu finished.

“You—no meat for you.” Li Xuanba pushed Wudi’s head back.

Wudi glanced at Hangu and then lowered its head to nuzzle Li Xuanba.

Li Xuanba withdrew his hand, returned both eaglets to the aviary, shut the door, and walked away.

Wudi: “…”

Wudi QAQ.

“Chirp chirp chirp chirp!”

Meat meat meat meat! Where’s my meat?! Waaaaah!!

Li Shimin peeked from the window. His eyesight was excellent, and he saw tears wetting the down on the little heads of the eaglets peeking from the aviary’s entrance.

He also cried.

Li Shimin was dragged away from the window by Li Xuanba, sobbing: “A-Xuan, you’re so cruel.”

Li Xuanba’s expression was blank: “Oh.”

The crybaby second brother was truly hopeless.

…

Golden eagle chicks grew slowly.

When Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were eleven, the two eaglets had just learned to tear and eat raw meat by themselves.

When the river in Zhangye fully thawed, the two eaglets began molting.

Compared to physical growth, their intelligence grew faster. When they saw their feathers falling out, the eaglets would huddle in their nest, wailing and crying.

Li Xuanba said, “You’re no different from your second brother when he just lost his teeth.”

Li Shimin, still in the teething stage, who would turn red-eyed at a lost tooth, even giving them names and burying them properly: “…Nonsense, I didn’t!”

Li Xuanba said, “We’re about to go through voice change. Throats swell, voices become hoarse, what people call ‘puberty duck voice,’ very unpleasant. When you change, will you also cry?”

Li Shimin ground his teeth: “No!”

He immediately ran to find Sun Simiao, asking whether he really had to go through voice change, wanting to mentally prepare in advance.

If you don’t take care of your teeth when they’re changing, your new teeth will look ugly. If you don’t protect your voice during voice change, your voice will become unpleasant too.

He didn’t want to have a duck-like voice forever!

After teasing his second brother, Li Xuanba collected the down feathers the eaglets had shed, intending to send them along with medicinal herbs and scenic paintings to Yuwen Zhu.

He had carefully read through the “thesis” Yuwen Zhu had sent him and had even corrected it with Sun Simiao.

Sun Simiao said that all the formulas in the letter had been repeatedly verified, with no errors, and were very suitable for Li Xuanba.

The formulas were accurate, likely the result of Yuwen Zhu’s prior learning.

But none of the formulas conflicted with the diseases Li Xuanba commonly suffered; Yuwen Zhu must have fully understood all his medical history.

Li Xuanba wondered where she had obtained his medical records.

He had suffered many illnesses since childhood, so many that he himself couldn’t remember all of them—only Sun Simiao and the imperial physicians did.

Even now, just thinking of Yuwen Zhu’s age, it was impossible for him to feel romantic love toward her. But knowing from her “thesis” that she had studied all his records and compiled these formulas for him left him with a complex feeling he couldn’t describe.

There was definitely some sense of being moved.

So when preparing gifts for Yuwen Zhu this time, Li Xuanba put in a lot of thought.

Although she would certainly prefer medicinal herbs and Sun Simiao’s new medical insights, perhaps scenic paintings from beyond the frontier and the cute eaglets could better express his goodwill.

When the river thawed, the roads from Zhangye to Daxing and Luoyang became passable again.

Li Xuanba and Li Shimin sent letters and gifts to their family, fiancées, teachers, and friends, and didn’t forget to send a letter to the emperor, the crown prince, and Prince Qi.

Regarding the eaglets, Li Xuanba and Li Shimin mentioned in their letter to the emperor that they were living and eating with the eaglets, learning in advance how to raise children.

They both wrote it like that—just two golden eagles—but with Yang Guang’s pride, he wouldn’t compete with children.

When the time came, they could even teach the eaglets to act dimwitted in front of Yang Guang, keeping them safe.

When the Zhangye river thawed, Yang Guang sent off Emperor Qimin, who had come to Luoyang to freeload, and began his western campaign.

Emperor Qimin had stood up the Sui army, but Yang Guang didn’t blame him. He believed Qimin’s excuse: “I was late because of the cold, I didn’t expect General Xue to advance so fast,” and even received him more lavishly than the last time, giving richer rewards.

Gao Jiong, Yuwen Bi, and Xue Daoheng, sitting around the stove in the lonely pavilion amidst the snow, had dismissed all servants and quietly complained that if His Majesty showed even a tenth of this tolerance and generosity to court ministers as he did to Emperor Qimin, he would be considered a benevolent ruler.

The hotpot recipe was a gift from Li Xuanba. The three old men especially liked it and insisted on gathering to eat it every few days.

By mid-February, Yang Guang arrived at Daxing.

On the second day of March, he reached west of the Yellow River.

By April 27, well past the start of summer, almost at the grain-in-ear period, Yang Guang finally crossed Lijin Pass, crossed the Yellow River, and reached Xiping Commandery.

Pei Shiju had been sending people to check on Emperor Tuyuqun’s news, and fortunately, the emperor was able to demonstrate his abilities as soon as he arrived.

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were also able to learn the latest news about Emperor Tuyuqun.

At the end of February, Emperor Tuyuqun learned that the Sui emperor intended to lead a personal campaign.

He began arranging troops, building fortresses, and stockpiling food.

The entire month of March passed, and even though it was already summer, the strong Sui army capable of striking Yiwu had still not appeared.

Tuyuhun Khan led his army to raid the surrounding nomadic tribes, taking advantage of the cattle and sheep fattened on the spring and summer pastures, and even captured many strong, healthy wild horses from the grasslands.

For the entire month of April, the Sui army remained inactive.

Tuyuhun Khan sent people back to fortify the few strongest cities in the territories he had previously lost.

As the weather grew hotter and travel became easier, the intervals at which Pei Shiju received news from Tuyuhun Khan grew shorter and shorter.

Li Shimin became quieter with each passing day.

When Yang Guang finally reached Xiping Commandery—the same place where Duke Yuwen Shu of Xu State had arrived last August—Li Shimin asked Li Xuanba, as if asking himself at the same time: “Why is His Majesty so slow? Tuyuhun Khan is far from the Sui. It took him a month just to learn about the movements of the Sui army, yet he still managed to prepare for a full two months!”

Li Xuanba replied, “Because His Majesty traveled in his luxurious Wind-Watching Palace carriage, accompanied by concubines and palace maids, with musicians playing along the way, and local officials and the people lining the roads to present food and treats, eating, drinking, and enjoying themselves all the while. That’s why he’s slow.”

Li Shimin clenched his fists, his eyes bloodshot—but this time, no tears fell.

Li Xuanba lay on the grass, looking up at Hangu and Wudi circling low overhead.

Even the young hawks were capable of catching rabbits for him and his second brother, yet the imperial entourage for Emperor Yang’s personal campaign hadn’t even arrived.

Looking across history and around the world, how many emperors or kings personally led campaigns while riding in luxury carriages, accompanied by concubines, palace maids, and musicians?

Historical records state that when Tang Taizong personally campaigned against Goguryeo, it was in all its “flashy glory,” personally leading ten thousand fully armored cavalry to rendezvous with Li Ji at the gates of Liaodong.

Even Song Taizong, the “Donkey Cart God,” and Ming Yingzong, the “Door-Knocking Emperor,” did not bring concubines and palace maids on their campaigns.

Is this really a war, Your Majesty?

It is! It truly is!

This campaign of Emperor Yang is only sparsely recorded in history and was even one of the few highlights of his reign. It wasn’t described as an example of Emperor Yang’s “tyranny” but was evaluated positively.

Li Xuanba viewed the world from a detached, observational perspective, his emotions abstracted, calm. Yet even he was amused by Yang Guang’s personal campaign this time.

They could win like this because the Sui were too strong and Tuyuhun too weak.

Oh, Tuyuhun had been destroyed within a month last year—already a hopelessly weak state. Now, after six months of recuperation, signs of its revival were appearing. That was the real oddity.

Li Shimin relaxed his fists and fell back onto the grass. “No wonder, seven years later, the Sui collapsed.”

Li Xuanba said, “So don’t be upset. Right now, at the Sui’s peak, you’re still furious. When it comes time to campaign against Goguryeo, won’t you be furious enough to get sick?”

Li Shimin turned his head, expressionless: “He still plans to campaign against Goguryeo—three campaigns? Just Goguryeo?”

Li Xuanba said, “Not only will he campaign three times against Goguryeo, he will also ‘gift’ them large amounts of weapons and armor so that when you personally lead the campaign, the war is a victory but strategically a failure.”

Li Shimin could hardly believe it. “Huh? A victory in war but a strategic failure… I get it. Even though I won all the battles against Goguryeo, the cost was too high—too much loss for too little gain. Continuing would damage the state and the people, so I withdrew without annihilating Goguryeo?”

Li Xuanba said, “Yes. You set out in February, fought for seven months, captured over ten cities, killed or captured hundreds of thousands of Goguryeo soldiers, seized countless horses, weapons, and armor. By September, the cold and supply issues forced a withdrawal. Then you tore your hair and beat your chest, lamenting a great failure. Later generations even believed the Tang was defeated and suffered huge losses.”

Even on his social posts, some Taizong fans lamented that he shouldn’t have personally campaigned against Goguryeo, claiming he lost, suffered greatly, just like Yang Guang’s campaign.

Even he, this critic of Taizong, found it amusing and liked each comment.

It wasn’t their fault. Tang Taizong himself wept over his “losses,” nostalgically reinstated Wei Zheng’s merit stele that he had previously taken down. How could anyone else not misunderstand?

Li Shimin scoffed: “Tsk. If it doesn’t succeed once, rest a few years, then fight again.”

Li Xuanba said, “Yes. After you returned, you quickly built up the Tang navy, opened sea transport lines, prepared for combined sea-and-land operations, and continuously harassed Goguryeo so they couldn’t recuperate. Then…”

Li Shimin covered his ears. “I don’t want to hear it.”

Li Xuanba thought: [Then you died, hahaha! Your last personal campaign became ‘I lost,’ hahahaha!]

Li Shimin sprang up with a thud, fists raised, aiming at his brother.

Li Xuanba rolled away in time, grabbed a handful of dirt, and threw it into his brother’s face.

Li Shimin spat with his eyes closed: “Pah pah pah… stop right there!”

Li Xuanba laughed and ran: “Hahaha!”

Li Shimin gave chase: “Li Xuanba! Stop!”

Li Xuanba ran with all his might: “Li Shimin, I won’t stop! You messed up yourself, why blame me?”

Li Shimin shouted: “Nonsense! What does it have to do with me?”

Li Xuanba mocked: “Nothing to do with you, so why are you so angry?”

Li Shimin paused. “Right.”

Li Xuanba stopped too. “Right? Huh? Brother, you cheated!”

Li Shimin grinned ferociously, pouncing and pinning his brother: “This is called ‘all’s fair in war.’ Watch my fists!”

Hangu and Wudi circled above, communicating.

Mom got beaten by the leader again.

Serves her right for scolding me today—chirp chirp chirp!