LFHYB -Chapter 18 Things Children Shouldn’t Worry About

“It’s so noisy,” Li Shimin covered his ears.

“It’s unbearable!” Li Xuanba frantically scratched his brother’s arm.

The two wet nurses who had come with Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were stitching pads with concern. “Hold on a bit longer. It’ll be done soon.”

After scratching his brother, Li Xuanba weakly said, “No rush. Be careful not to prick your hand.”

The wet nurse smiled, “Don’t worry, you won’t hurt yourself.”

Li Xuanba nodded and resumed scratching his brother’s arm.

It was maddening.

Li Xuanba thought he had prepared thoroughly, but he never expected the people on the dragon boat to have such endless energy.

During Emperor Wen of Sui’s reign, seven regional song-and-dance troupes, the “Seven Troupes of Skill” (Guoji, Qingshangji, Gaoliji, Tianzhuji, Anguoji, Qiujiji, Wenkangji), were established according to local styles. When Yang Guang succeeded the throne, he added the Kangguoji and Shuleji troupes, making nine in total.

On the large leading boats, including the one Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were on, the “Nine Troupes of Skill” performed in rotation, singing and dancing endlessly through the night.

Li Shimin: “Stop singing, help!”

Li Xuanba: “Can we have some soothing, sleep-inducing music, please?”

Got tired of the singing and dancing? No problem. Between each performance of the “Nine Troupes,” performers led exotic animals in a variety show called the “Manyan Fish-Dragon.”

The most interesting part of the “Manyan Fish-Dragon” was the fire juggling. These performances started at night and went on until the early hours of the morning. Eunuchs and guards stayed on duty all night to prevent the flames from accidentally setting the boats on fire.

Li Shimin: “Can you not jump around on the deck in the middle of the night! Are you drumming with your feet?!”

Li Xuanba: “I’m sleepy… stop torturing my eardrums.”

At night, bonfires were lit on the deck.

The fires were contained in bronze vessels, burning the finest agarwood. When the flames rose, a fragrant aroma spread, creating a fairy-tale-like atmosphere.

Li Shimin: “Ah-choo.”

Li Xuanba: “Ah-choo.”

During the first few days, Li Shimin and Li Xuanba still held hands to watch the spectacle. Soon, however, not only was Li Xuanba losing his mind, Li Shimin also became exhausted.

Did all these adults never sleep?

The two children stopped leaving their room unless absolutely necessary.

They stayed in the room, resting with their eyes closed even if they couldn’t sleep, trying to conserve energy.

Li Xuanba, thinking quickly, had the wet nurse make thick noise-canceling earmuffs from multiple layers of silk inside finely woven linen.

They first blocked their ears with paper, then put on the thick earmuffs, finally getting a proper night’s sleep.

Only problem: after wearing the paper for so long, their ears hurt a bit.

The children stayed hidden in their room, which worried Empress Xiao. She had imperial physicians check Li Shimin and Li Xuanba daily, adjusting their prescriptions constantly.

Seeing the children so distressed, the doctors prescribed some sedatives and politely suggested to the Empress that the children, being young and delicate, could not endure such crowds and should be moved to a quieter boat to recover.

Empress Xiao sighed, “Lady Dou said the children are constitutionally weak and hard to raise. I once mocked her for worrying too much. Only after taking care of them myself did I realize her hardship.”

It was impossible to move the children to another boat; Empress Xiao didn’t trust anyone else to care for Li Shimin and Li Xuanba.

She moved them from the main hall on the first floor to a room in the middle section of the second floor. The room was smaller but farther from the deck, making it much quieter.

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba could finally remove the paper and sleep wearing just the earmuffs.

After a few days of uninterrupted sleep, Li Shimin regained his energy.

He was not yet seven but felt as if he had survived a disaster: “I declare that I will never watch the ‘Nine Troupes of Skill’ or the ‘Manyan Fish-Dragon’ again!”

Li Xuanba rolled his eyes at his elder brother: **[Impossible.]**

Li Shimin rolled on the bed hugging a soft pillow: “I won’t watch, I won’t watch.”

Li Xuanba disliked hard pillows. He had pillows and bolsters made from feathers, animal hair, husks, herbs, and other materials.

Li Sanlang’s (Li Xuanba’s) pillow was the same as Li Erlang’s (Li Shimin’s). Li Shimin picked up Li Xuanba’s bad habits and carried his pillow and bolster everywhere.

Li Xuanba ignored his now-energetic elder brother, lying quietly with eyes blank, relaxing his mind and continuing to rest.

“Since we’ve been eating indoors these days, today we’ll eat outside!” Li Shimin pulled his lazy brother up. “I heard the shore offers local delicacies every day. You must want to eat, A-Xuan.”

Li Xuanba: **[No, I don’t want to.]**

Li Shimin dragged his half-limp brother to the deck to exercise.

The imperial physician had said that after sufficient rest, children needed exercise to strengthen their bodies.

Seeing the “recovered” Li Shimin and Li Xuanba, Empress Xiao breathed a sigh of relief.

She seated the children to her left and right, treating them like her own, personally choosing food for them.

Before Empress Xiao was a long table, two meters in length and one meter wide. Palace maids and eunuchs took turns serving food—fruits, pastries, roasted dishes, soups, and steamed dishes, all in abundance.

Just as the food was brought, Yang Guang arrived.

Even before he appeared, his voice could be heard: “Erlang, Sanlang, I heard you were ill. Are you feeling better now?”

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba quickly stood up and said, “We’re fully recovered.”

Yang Guang rubbed the heads of the two children and said, “No need to be so formal. I’m just here to see you. We’ll have lunch right here today.”

As soon as the emperor arrived, the dishes already on the table were taken away along with the table itself.

The eunuchs brought over a longer, elaborately carved table decorated with dragons and phoenixes, and the food was served again.

Yang Guang received rare ingredients as tribute along the river every day.

Not all of these foods were meant for him personally, but he would have them counted. If the tribute was abundant and valuable, the officials might get promoted; if it displeased him, they could lose their positions.

During meals, the imperial kitchen would prepare a hundred “creative dishes” from the daily tributes, presenting them one by one to Yang Guang.

He would taste each dish: if it pleased him, he might take a bite; if not, it was set aside. Even dishes he particularly liked rarely saw him eat more than two bites.

A hundred dishes flowed past him like a stream.

Yang Guang ate first, Empress Xiao followed, and Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were honored to come right after.

Li Xuanba was full after only half the food, while Li Shimin persisted to the end.

Seeing Li Shimin’s appetite, Yang Guang praised him: “With an appetite like yours, you’ll surely be able to serve as my Champion Marquis someday!”

Li Shimin rubbed his belly and said, “Thank you, uncle, for the compliment.”

Yang Guang turned to Li Xuanba: “Sanlang, you must eat more.”

Li Xuanba gave a wry smile. “I’ll do my best, uncle.”

Having eaten his fill, Yang Guang strolled with Li Shimin and Li Xuanba on the deck, enjoying the beautiful scenery along the riverbanks.

On the shore, laborers were still working hard, pulling ropes to move the boats.

Li Xuanba looked toward the river towmen.

He hadn’t grown up by the river. Although he had read about “towmen” in books and knew that on the Yellow River’s Sanmen Gorge and the Yangtze’s Three Gorges, where the currents were strongest, boats traveling upstream needed men on the banks to pull them, he had never actually pictured it.

It was only after riding the dragon boat with Emperor Yang once that he saw real towmen for the first time.

The artificial canal’s water was calm, the current slow. Boats could move with oars and sails whether going with or against the current. Only in strong headwinds would towmen be needed along the banks.

But the dragon boat was massive and heavy, and to move it, the towmen had to pull the ropes along the entire route.

“A-Xuan, this dragon boat doesn’t feel like a dragon boat. It’s more like a huge carriage. Only, it’s not oxen or horses pulling it—it’s people,” Li Shimin whispered to Li Xuanba.

Li Xuanba was thinking about his brother’s oddly accurate metaphor when Li Shimin’s exclamation interrupted him.

“Uncle! What are they doing? Why are they burying an entire roasted cow?” Li Shimin pointed to the shore in surprise. “Is this some kind of ritual offering to the gods?”

Yang Guang’s gaze followed Li Shimin’s finger, landing on the banks nearby.

He frowned at the eunuch beside him.

The eunuch bowed his head and explained: “Officials and commoners admire Your Majesty. With so much tribute food each day, it becomes spoiled if left overnight, so they bury it nearby.”

Yang Guang scolded, “Nonsense!”

Li Shimin nodded vigorously.

Yes, yes, it’s nonsense. How could perfectly good food be buried? Even the meals at the Duke of Tang’s residence could not always be finished, so the leftovers were given to servants. At feasts, if the food was too much, Mother would select intact portions to donate to temples for the poor, and the rest fed the livestock.

Lady Dou often taught Li Shimin and Li Xuanba that no matter how wealthy the Duke of Tang’s household was, extravagance and waste were forbidden, lest it harm one’s fortune.

The eunuch immediately knelt: “Your Majesty, please calm your anger. The subordinates were lazy and have indeed offended Your Majesty’s eyes.”

Yang Guang angrily kicked the eunuch.

The eunuch, skilled in court survival, rolled backward with the kick, absorbing the force while pretending great pain, rolling on the ground several times before kowtowing and begging forgiveness.

Yang Guang summoned Pei Yun, Deputy Minister of Ceremonies, and, pointing to the buried food on the shore, looked darkly at him without a word.

Pei Yun immediately said, “I will order that all food be buried ten li from the shore to avoid spoiling the scenery. The lazy culprits will be severely punished.”

Yang Guang snorted coldly: “You don’t need my order for such a trivial matter.”

Pei Yun quickly apologized.

Yang Guang berated him a few more times before allowing Pei Yun to handle the shore.

Seeing such filthy behavior, Yang Guang’s previously good mood darkened.

Li Shimin stared blankly at the emperor’s anger, his little mind unable to comprehend what had happened.

He had been about to ask, but Li Xuanba whispered in his mind, **[Shut up, just play dumb]**, so he didn’t speak.

After venting his anger, Yang Guang, seeing the fearful looks of the two children, let reason take over and suppressed his fury: “Some negligent officials have spoiled the mood. Erlang, Sanlang, don’t worry; I have already handled it.”

Li Shimin was even more confused. His uncle the emperor was acting completely differently than he had imagined.

Li Xuanba remained silent, continuing to pretend he was frightened by the emperor, nodding timidly.

Annoyed, Yang Guang lost interest in showing the children the scenery.

He had the children taken to Empress Xiao and returned to the lead dragon boat, continuing to fume about the matter.

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba, using tiredness as an excuse, returned to their small room.

Li Shimin hugged a soft pillow and finally voiced the question that had been on his mind: “Uncle’s anger was so strange.”

Li Xuanba leaned on the window, still watching outside.

Li Shimin nudged him aside to see as well.

From their small window, they could see the food burial site.

Half the food had been buried, and after the arriving officials scolded the workers, the pits were hastily filled. The remaining food was loaded onto carts and transported farther away.

The laborers on the shore took turns resting from pulling the boats. Some of the resting workers quietly dug into the soil, hoping to retrieve the buried food.

Another official came down onto the boat, accompanied by a squad of guards.

The guards forced the laborers who had dug up the ground onto the ground and bound them, then took them away somewhere unknown.

The pit on the ground was filled in once again.

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba quietly watched the whole scene.

Li Xuanba: “In every county they passed through, within five hundred li they ordered food offerings; when the harem grew tired of it, much was abandoned and buried.”

Li Shimin: “What?”

Li Xuanba: “When Emperor Yang of Sui toured Jiangdu.”

Li Shimin pressed his lips together, this time not reminding his younger brother to keep quiet.

He continued staring out the window in a daze.

After a long while, Li Shimin said, “Why can’t leftover food be given to the people on the shore? If they are digging out food from the soil, they must be really hungry.”

This time, Li Xuanba didn’t speak in his head.

He opened his mouth to sneer: “Yeah, why?”

Li Shimin looked at Li Xuanba: “You don’t know either, A-Xuan?”

Li Xuanba: “I don’t know, I don’t know.”

Li Shimin puffed out his cheeks: “A-Xuan, you must know—why don’t you tell me?”

Li Xuanba: “What’s the point in saying it? You see for yourself, think for yourself.”

Li Shimin pounced on Li Xuanba, scratching him mercilessly until Li Xuanba begged for mercy. Only then did he roll over to lie beside him: “So annoying. Forget it, I’m still young. If I don’t understand, I don’t understand. When I grow up, I’ll naturally understand.”

Li Xuanba wiped the tears that had come from laughing at being tickled and said with mock annoyance: “That’s exactly what Mother and Sister always say to us. You’ve learned well.”

“Hehe.” Li Shimin grinned.

After smiling, he placed his hand over his chest.

Food in perfect condition would rather be buried than given to the laborers on the shore. The emperor’s anger wasn’t over wasting food—it was because he saw the buried food.

All of this confused the young Li Shimin.

At that moment, he remembered his brother slipping out the words “Emperor Yang of Sui” and also recalled the meaning of “Yang” he had secretly looked up in a book.

Li Shimin hugged his head and rolled on the bed: “Ah, I don’t want to think about it. I’m still young—why think so much!”

Li Xuanba nodded: “Right. You can think about it slowly when you grow up.”

Li Shimin rolled around for a long time before finally stopping.

He lay sprawled on the bed, arms and legs draped over Li Xuanba.

Li Xuanba pushed his older brother aside in disgust.

Li Shimin: “A-Xuan, when I grow up, will I be able to understand?”

Li Xuanba: “Who knows? Forget it!”

Li Shimin: “A-Xuan, my chest feels tight—let me lean on you a bit.”

Li Xuanba: “No! Go away, go away! It’s too hot!”

Li Shimin pressed closer, and Li Xuanba used both hands and feet to push him away.

The two brothers ended up “fighting” on the bed.

After Emperor Yang got angry at the dragon boat, he remembered the expressions on Li Shimin and Li Xuanba’s faces and thought the two children seemed a little disrespectful at the time.

He immediately sent someone to check what they were doing.

The palace maid reported: “Second Young Master Li and Third Young Master Li are fighting on the bed.”

Yang Guang raised an eyebrow: “Oh? Fighting? Aren’t the two brothers close? How could they fight?”

The maid replied: “I asked the servant at the gate. She said it seems Second Young Master wanted to use Third Young Master as a pillow, but Third Young Master thought he was too heavy, so they started fighting.”

Yang Guang: “……”

He held his forehead, smiling wryly: “This reason… only children would have such a reason.”

He shook his head inwardly. Perhaps he was too angry today; he even doubted the expressions of two six-year-old children.

If Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were showing hidden disrespect, children have no scheming nature—it must have been taught by Li Yuan.

In short, Yang Guang’s suspicion of the two kids was really a reflection of his distrust of Li Yuan.

“They were frightened today. Give them some gold and beads to play with,” Yang Guang said. “Also, issue my order: brothers must be friendly and filial. Fighting over such a small matter is unacceptable. If they fight again, I will make them copy books as punishment.”

The palace maid left with the order, and the accompanying officials all chuckled.

…

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba “fought,” yet still received the emperor’s favor.

Empress Xiao laughed so hard that tears welled at the corners of her eyes when she heard.

To the visiting eldest daughter, Princess Nanyang, she said: “Stay here with Mother for a few days and spend some time with these two lively treasures of the Tang Duke’s household. Your belly hasn’t moved yet, and Mother is very worried. Hurry and give birth to a lively little one like Li’s Erlang and Sanlang for Mother to have.”

Princess Nanyang was Empress Xiao and the emperor’s eldest daughter. She married Yuwen Shiji, son of Duke of Xu, at fourteen, and is now twenty. Both husband and wife are loved by the emperor and empress, accompanying them on the southern inspection tour.

Yuwen Shiji was Li Yuan’s friend, and Princess Nanyang also got along well with Lady Dou.

She smiled: “Indeed lively treasures. Lady Dou always grits her teeth when mentioning them, saying they are very mischievous at home.”

Empress Xiao laughed: “Is that so? Lady Dou told me that the two were weak since childhood, which made her quite tenderhearted.”

Princess Nanyang thought for a moment and understood why Lady Dou said that.

It was likely that Mother, upon learning that Li’s twin sons had impressed the Zheng family of Xingyang, was happy and wanted her daughters’ families to be betrothed to Li’s twin sons.

The eldest son of the Tang Duke married into the Zheng family of Xingyang; the wives of the other sons would naturally be of slightly lower status. Princess Nanyang found this a bit unreasonable—Mother was placing too much importance on her natal family.

She laughed: “Yes, Li’s Erlang and Sanlang are mischievous and weak. Lady Dou worries about them if she scolds them, and worries they’ll go astray if she doesn’t. Truly a headache.”

Empress Xiao laughed even harder: “Exactly. Don’t change the subject—Mother even prayed to the Goddess of Fertility for you…”

Princess Nanyang, seeing she couldn’t avoid the topic, covered her flushed face: “Mother, Mom, Your Majesty! Give me a little more time. There will be grandchildren, there will be!”

Empress Xiao said, “You always say that. Fine, fine, you’re too modest—no gift from the Goddess of Mercy for now. Go rub Li Erlang and Li Sanlang’s heads—would that do?”

Princess Nanyang covered her face and said helplessly, “Alright, your daughter will hug Li Erlang and Li Sanlang and rub their heads as hard as she can!”

Empress Xiao laughed. “Someone, quickly bring Li Erlang and Li Sanlang here!”

Thus, Li Shimin and Li Xuanba were called over with puzzled expressions and were hugged by Princess Nanyang, who vigorously rubbed their heads.

Li Shimin felt dizzy.

What’s going on? Why are they rubbing my head?

Li Xuanba stiffened his face with all his might.

I am a toy, I am a toy, I am not embarrassed, I have no feelings.

Seeing the two children so cute, Princess Nanyang’s heart warmed. She really wanted to have a child as adorable as Li Erlang and Li Sanlang.

She smiled and said, “I pinched your faces, so as compensation, is there anything you’d like?”

Empress Xiao laughed. “You are really generous. Erlang, Sanlang, ask for whatever you want—she has many fine things.”

Mother and daughter were both eagerly curious to see what these two “child prodigies” would ask for as “compensation.”

Li Xuanba rubbed his reddened face: **[Shall we casually ask for two pieces of jewelry to give to Grandmother and Mother?]**

Li Shimin hesitated a moment and whispered to Princess Nanyang, “May I tell you quietly?”

Princess Nanyang lowered her head and leaned her ear closer. “Go ahead.”

Li Shimin cupped his hands over his mouth and whispered into her ear, “I’ve heard that Princess Nanyang is most beloved by His Majesty. Could you perhaps persuade him not to bury the leftover food, and instead give it to the men rowing the boats? They seem very hungry. If they are too hungry, they won’t be able to row, and His Majesty wouldn’t be pleased.”

Princess Nanyang’s almond-shaped eyes widened slightly.

She lifted her head, carefully examining the child in her arms.

Li Shimin looked up at her with a pleading expression.

Li Xuanba glanced at his older brother, then at Princess Nanyang, furrowing his tiny brows.

What exactly is Second Brother pleading for?

Li Xuanba: **[Second Brother, what did you say?]**

Li Shimin looked toward the riverbank, then withdrew his gaze.

Li Xuanba thought for a moment: **[You don’t mean you want Princess Nanyang to advise the Sui… the Sui Emperor to be frugal, do you?]**

Li Shimin blinked.

Li Xuanba thought again: **[Someone at court must have already advised the emperor on frugality—it wouldn’t work.]**

Empress Xiao curiously asked, “What did Li Erlang tell you?”

Princess Nanyang came back to her senses and smiled, “He wants to ask jewelry for Lady Dou. Sigh, what’s the point of whispering that?”

Li Shimin froze.

Li Xuanba grabbed Li Shimin’s hand: **[Since the Princess said that, it proves the emperor would be unhappy if he knew what you said. She’s protecting you.]**

Li Shimin pressed his lips together and tightened his brother’s hand.

Princess Nanyang rubbed Li Shimin’s head and said, “Mother, I want to take Li Erlang and Li Sanlang to show them to my husband, so he can also bask in the intelligence of these two children.”

Empress Xiao laughed. “Go ahead, but remember to bring them back tonight.”

Princess Nanyang nodded, “Alright.”

She had her maid carry Li Xuanba while she held Li Shimin and returned to her residence on the boat to see her husband, Yuwen Shiji.

On the way, Princess Nanyang whispered, “Father dislikes being advised. Shimin, it’s good that you are kindhearted, but don’t let Father hear this.”

She addressed Li Shimin by name with great seriousness.

Li Shimin lowered his head, feeling a little dejected.

Princess Nanyang sighed inwardly.

Hearing Li Shimin’s words, she also felt some sympathy for the men on the riverbank.

But as the most favored princess, she was well aware of her father’s likes and dislikes.

This matter could not be mentioned. By the emperor’s nature, any tribute would be burned rather than given to the lowly commoners.

How could the emperor eat the same food as the common people?

In fact, ministers had already advised on this matter.

Whether it was demanding tributes from riverside counties or burying leftover food, Yuwen Bi of Pingchang had advised multiple times. The emperor privately often scolded Yuwen Bi.

Seeing this, Princess Nanyang naturally dared not provoke her father.

Li Xuanba had been watching his older brother closely.

After they disembarked and then boarded another boat, Li Xuanba finally spoke in his heart.

Li Xuanba: **[Brother, stop thinking. We are still children—you’re overthinking. Can you think about things children our age should think about? Like what to eat and play with.]**

Li Shimin looked up and turned to Li Xuanba, forcing a silly grin: “Alright!”

The two brothers first visited their brother-in-law Yuwen Shiji with Princess Nanyang, then followed him to visit some of the court ministers aboard the boat. By evening, Princess Nanyang personally brought them back to Empress Xiao’s boat.

Exhausted, they fell asleep as soon as their heads touched the pillows.

The next day, the fleet continued sailing.

Li Shimin never again mentioned matters that children shouldn’t consider to Li Xuanba.

By mid-December, Li Shimin and Li Xuanba finally arrived at Jiangdu.