LFHYB -Chapter 125 Yuwen Zhu’s Gentle Persuasion

The warm and tender stargazing wedding night of the young couple came to an end because of drunken howling from the neighboring courtyard.

The tipsy Li Shimin and the tipsy Changsun Kangning returned to their own newlywed courtyard. No one knew what they talked about, but they lit a bonfire in the yard and began dancing wildly and shouting joyfully around it.

Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu quietly sat up, staring at the drunken dancer in the neighboring courtyard.

Li Shimin first started dancing a Turkic dance, then a Tuyuhun dance, then a Uyghur dance. In the end, everything got mixed together, with even some Great Tang—no, Great Sui—dance thrown in. The result was pure chaotic, demon-summoning madness.

Li Xuanba was genuinely shocked by his second brother’s dancing “talent.”

If Second Brother lived in modern times, not only would he probably dress like some fringe-culture street punk, he’d also be the kind who could suddenly burst into a yo-yo-yo dance routine in the middle of the street.

Li Xuanba pressed his hand to his forehead and took a deep breath.

Yuwen Zhu tugged on his sleeve and, laughing, pointed toward the neighboring courtyard. “Remember when I told you Guanyin was overly lively and you didn’t believe me? Look at her now—doesn’t this count as overly lively?”

Only then did Li Xuanba pull his gaze away from his second brother’s extremely cursed dancing and look toward his sister-in-law, who was a bit hard to notice because she was so small.

Changsun Kangning had rolled up her sleeves, exposing her wrists, and was throwing punches and kicks. What she was performing actually looked like a set of “health-preserving boxing” with real combat value.

While she was practicing, it seemed she was infected by Li Shimin next to her—who was creating a full demon-dance effect—and she began dancing as well.

What she danced was some kind of Hu-xuan dance she had no one knew where. She spun and spun in circles until Li Xuanba’s eyes were about to get dizzy.

Li Xuanba covered his forehead. “One second brother is already enough to give me a headache. Now there’s also a second sister-in-law… Luckily, now I have you to share half the burden.”

Yuwen Zhu couldn’t help laughing. “I refuse!”

Li Xuanba said seriously, “I can hold down my brother, but do you expect me to go discipline my sister-in-law? That responsibility can only fall on Lady Zhu.”

Yuwen Zhu laughed so hard she was shaking. “So should we go down and pin them now?”

Li Xuanba sighed. “Of course. I’m afraid these two drunks will fall into the bonfire.”

Yuwen Zhu said, “I’ll have someone brew some sobering-up medicine and we’ll make them drink it later.”

Li Xuanba worried, “Can you really hold down Second Sister-in-law? Should I call Mother…? Ah, but it’s their wedding night—would it be bad for her reputation if Mother had to handle this?”

Yuwen Zhu laughed. “I’m already very experienced at force-feeding Guanyin, that drunkard, sobering medicine.”

Li Xuanba looked at her with deep respect.

The young couple climbed down from the roof and went to subdue the two drunks next door.

Li Shimin and Changsun Kangning not only refused to calm down, they even tried to drag Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu into joining them.

While calling for people to prepare the sobering medicine, Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu earnestly tried to persuade them to stay away from the bonfire.

By the time the servants brought over the medicine, Li Xuanba was already holding a pipa and Yuwen Zhu a qin, providing accompaniment for the two drunkards.

Blocking was worse than guiding. It was impossible to forcibly restrain two drunks, so the only thing they could do was go along with them—soften the dances a bit, move them farther from the bonfire, let them burn off all their energy, and only then make them drink the sobering medicine and force them to go to sleep.

Clearly, Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu were both very practiced at this.

The servants set the medicine down on the stone table to cool.

Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu played together, while Li Shimin happily pulled Changsun Kangning into a lawless spinning dance.

Knowing that Li Shimin and Changsun Kangning had drunk too much, Lady Dou settled the guests who were celebrating through the night and hurried over to look after her son and daughter-in-law.

When she saw the two young couples by the bonfire, she stopped, waved her hand to silence the servants, and quietly left the courtyard.

On the way, she ran into Li Yuan and Yang Xian, who were chatting together.

Li Yuan asked worriedly, “Daxiong drank a lot. Has he taken the sobering medicine yet?”

Yang Xian suppressed a laugh. “Is he drunk?”

Lady Dou smiled helplessly. “Your Highness, my lord, you both knew today was Second Son’s wedding day, and you still kept making him drink?”

Li Yuan coughed. Yang Xian smiled and repeatedly apologized.

Lady Dou said with a smile, “Second Son and his wife are dancing, Third Son and Lady Zhu are playing music. They’re all having a great time.”

Yang Xian was surprised. “And they’re not drunk?”

Li Yuan stroked his beard proudly. “As expected of my sons.”

Lady Dou said, “I think Second Son and his wife are definitely drunk—they’re just drunk and still playing.”

Yang Xian laughed. “Just like him.”

Li Yuan sighed. “Just like my son.”

Lady Dou said, “Third Son and Lady Zhu have already prepared sobering medicine. They’ll take care of Second Son and Guanyin. There’s no need to worry.”

Li Yuan shook his head with a sigh. “Dade is the one with the weaker body. Why does it feel like Dade is the one taking care of Daxiong more now?”

Yang Xian said, “When they were young, Erlang took great care of Sanlang—he practically carried him on his back every day. Now it’s Sanlang’s turn to take care of Erlang. This must be what Buddhism calls reincarnation.”

Li Yuan said speechlessly, “That’s not what reincarnation means.”

Lady Dou said, “As long as Second Son and Third Son are happy, that’s enough.”

Yang Xian nodded in agreement.

Although he really wanted to go see Li Shimin’s drunken dancing, today was Li Shimin’s and Li Xuanba’s wedding night, so he decided not to disturb the two newlywed couples and returned to his own courtyard to rest.

After Yang Xian left, the smile faded from Li Yuan’s face, replaced by worry.

Lady Dou asked, “Did His Highness give you some troublesome task?”

Li Yuan shook his head. “No. He didn’t ask me to do anything—he just talked with me about some things from the past… about the time when Crown Prince Yuande was still alive.”

Lady Dou sighed. “Just reminiscing…”

Li Yuan said, “Yes. But seeing him like that made me feel a little sad.”

When Yang Xian reminisced with Li Yuan, Li Yuan also thought of that past Qi Prince—the one who acted without restraint, straightforward to the point of being a little foolish.

What kind of imperial prince loudly shouts about ‘fighting for the succession’ every day? The ones who truly want to fight for the throne always hide their intentions tightly. Qi Prince’s behavior really made people shake their heads.

No wonder His Majesty and the Crown Prince would always smile wryly and shake their heads when Qi Prince was mentioned, their faces full of indulgent affection.

At the time, Li Yuan had thought that whether Qi Prince was truly foolish or just blundering into things by accident, his way of acting had made both the Emperor and the Crown Prince feel very at ease.

No one had expected the Crown Prince to die suddenly, nor that the reckless and foolish Prince of Qi would grow into a Crown Prince praised by all.

A Sui Crown Prince utterly different from the former one—sharp-edged, dazzling, and formidable.

Li Yuan said, “I know that elderly emperors always fear a Crown Prince in his prime. But His Majesty has only this one adult son. He forced the blameless Crown Prince to abdicate—has he ever thought about the future of the Great Sui?”

Lady Dou said, “The internal rebels haven’t even been dealt with yet, and His Majesty is already planning another personal campaign against Goguryeo. At a time like this, he hasn’t thought about the future at all.”

Li Yuan let out a long sigh. “Yes…”

The husband and wife faced each other for a long time, then supported each other as they went back to the front hall to continue entertaining the guests.

These people could really drink—were they seriously going to drink all night?

The two of them had splitting headaches.

…

The next day, Li Shimin woke up with his head about to split open.

“Ahhh, my head… A-Xuan, hurry and rub it for me!” Li Shimin wailed.

Li Xuanba, who was sitting by the bed reading, shot his second brother a glance. “I have a way to cure headaches. They say if you smash your head against the wall, it can effectively treat all kinds of headaches.”

Li Shimin clutched his head. “So as long as I pass out, it won’t hurt anymore, right? Ahhh, it hurts so much!”

Li Xuanba snorted, put down his book, and brought the medicine over in annoyance. “Drink.”

Li Shimin limply finished the bitter medicine, still hugging his head and whining. “Ahhh, so bitter… it hurts, it hurts, my head… Where’s Guanyin? She drank a lot last night too—I need to go see her.”

Li Xuanba said, “Zhuniang is taking care of Second Sister-in-law. In your current state, you’d better not go.”

Li Shimin said, “I’ll bathe and change clothes first, then go.”

Li Xuanba sighed. “I told you not to go. Second Sister-in-law isn’t that familiar with you yet, and she cares a lot about appearances. She wouldn’t want you to see how disheveled she looks after getting drunk.”

Li Shimin insisted, “Then all the more I should go. We’re husband and wife—what side of us can’t the other see?”

Li Xuanba said, “You can let her slowly get used to it later. For now, give her some dignity. And you too—why did you have to go crazy after getting drunk and drag Second Sister-in-law into dancing with you?”

Li Shimin grinned. “Because I was happy.”

Even when drunk, Li Shimin never blacked out. Even if he was half-unconscious, he could remember clearly what had happened. So he remembered perfectly well how he and his new wife had danced around the bonfire the night before.

Li Xuanba said, “Then remember this happiness. Don’t fail her in the future.”

Li Shimin was puzzled. “What do you take your big brother for? How could I ever let Guanyin down?”

Li Xuanba switched to inner thoughts: [You will become emperor in the future, and Second Sister-in-law will become empress. You won’t just be husband and wife—you’ll also be ruler and subject. The way you get along will definitely change. I’m just reminding you now. The closer people are, the easier it is to neglect each other’s feelings, until only regret remains after it’s too late.]

Li Xuanba voiced what sounded like a useless but heartfelt truth.

Li Shimin fell silent for a long time. “I’ll remember it.”

Li Xuanba thought: [But in the original history, Emperor Taizong treated Empress Changsun very well. My second brother will definitely treat Second Sister-in-law even better than that Taizong. I really was being overly talkative.]

Li Shimin smiled. “No—A-Xuan’s advice, I’ll keep it in my heart. You should keep advising me in the future too. Even though you say I’ll have many remonstrating ministers later on, I know my own temper—not just anyone’s advice can get through to me.”

Li Xuanba nodded. [Exactly. As for specifics… I’ll wait until you’re older and mentally stronger before telling you about what happens in your later years of rule. You’re not emperor yet—let you be happy for now.]

Li Shimin collapsed back onto the bed clutching his head. “No, stop, don’t say anymore—my head hurts even more. Ugh, A-Xuan, get out, I don’t want to see you! I don’t want to hear about things that far in the future!”

Seeing that Li Shimin had given up on going to look for Second Sister-in-law, Li Xuanba smiled, closed the door, and left to check whether the vegetable-and-meat porridge in the kitchen was ready.

If he’d just behaved and rested his hangover properly from the start, this wouldn’t have been necessary. He had to be forced with the ultimate move.

…

In another bedroom, Changsun Kangning had wrapped herself in a thin quilt like a silkworm, wriggling and rolling about.

Yuwen Zhu pressed down on the “silkworm” and laughed. “Now you know how to be shy? Who told you to drink so much last night? I warned you, but you wouldn’t listen—you insisted your tolerance was amazing and that you wouldn’t get drunk.”

Changsun Kangning spoke in a sticky, nasal voice, “I didn’t want the female relatives of the Tang Duke’s clan to look down on me.”

Yuwen Zhu sighed helplessly. “How would refusing to overdrink make them look down on you? Why are you so competitive about the weirdest things? Well then, you feel good now?”

Changsun Kangning smiled ingratiatingly. “It was actually pretty fun. Thank you for taking care of me, Sister Yuwen.”

Yuwen Zhu said, “Now you should call me your sister-in-law.”

Changsun Kangning said, “Second Brother is Third Brother’s elder brother, and you are my older sister—let’s just keep each relationship separate.”

Yuwen Zhu flicked her on the nose. “Nonsense. Hurry up and get up to drink your medicine.”

Changsun Kangning kept wriggling like a silkworm. “No, no, I hate drinking medicine.”

Yuwen Zhu sneered. “Don’t make me force it down you.”

Changsun Kangning said coquettishly, “Sister wouldn’t be that cruel.”

Yuwen Zhu replied flatly, “I would.”

Pouting, Changsun Kangning released her quilt “armor,” obediently got up, and drank the medicine.

Although she hated it, she drank quickly. She’d been frail as a child and had long mastered the skill of drinking medicine with the least discomfort.

As soon as she finished, Yuwen Zhu handed her honeyed water.

Changsun Kangning gulped it all down and clung to Yuwen Zhu. “It tastes awful.”

Yuwen Zhu said, “Sleep a little more. In about the time it takes to burn one stick of incense, you can have some porridge, then take a bath.”

Changsun Kangning touched her hair. “If I wash my hair after a hangover, won’t I get a headache?”

Yuwen Zhu said, “Sanlang made a hand-cranked fan. You can put charcoal in front of it to blow hot air, so it dries hair quickly—just a bit hot. But sweating a little after a hangover is actually good. I’ve used it; it’s very comfortable.”

Changsun Kangning asked, “Is Erlang also suffering from a hangover?”

Yuwen Zhu covered her mouth and laughed. “He has it far worse than you. Sanlang made me give him some medicine for headaches.”

Changsun Kangning said, “Then I should hurry up and bathe, dry my hair, and dress up nicely so I can go take care of him.”

Yuwen Zhu tapped Changsun Kangning on the nose. “Why are you rushing to take care of him? Just lie down obediently and don’t be so overly attentive.”

“But I’m already his wife. How can I not—” Changsun Kangning began.

Yuwen Zhu pinched her lips shut.

“Mm-mmm!” Changsun Kangning protested.

Yuwen Zhu said, “I know you’re virtuous, but don’t go taking care of others when your own body isn’t feeling well. You are the most important. This isn’t just my worry—it’s also Sanlang’s advice to you.”

Changsun Kangning shook her head, breaking free of Yuwen Zhu’s hand, and asked in confusion, “Why would Sanlang say that?”

“Before you got married, General Changsun should have told you that Sanlang has… unusual abilities,” Yuwen Zhu said.

Changsun Kangning’s eyes flickered, and she lowered her head. “Prophecies…”

Yuwen Zhu nodded. “Last night, while we were coaxing you two drunkards to sleep, Sanlang sighed to me. He’s worried that you’re too virtuous and that you’ll wear out your own body because of it. Right now you have your father and brothers to back you up—even if you become empress in the future, you can still be a little willful. If you’re uncomfortable, rest. If you’re unhappy, throw a tantrum. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. You should believe that Erlang cares about you far more than you think.”

Changsun Kangning stammered, “Re-really? Sanlang said that? Why would Sanlang say something like that? That kind of…”

Yuwen Zhu looked helpless. “Yes, why is he meddling in his elder brother’s inner chambers and saying such outrageous things to his sister-in-law? Still, he’d never say this to you himself, so I’m the one relaying it for him. I’ll take good care of you, you troublesome little sister.”

With that, Yuwen Zhu fiercely pinched Changsun Kangning’s cheeks.

“Ow! Why did you pinch me?” Changsun Kangning cried, clutching her face.

Yuwen Zhu thought to herself, You made me cry all night yesterday—how could I not pinch you?

Before Yuwen Zhu and Changsun Kangning got married, Yuwen Bi and Changsun Sheng had both told them certain truths that had previously been kept from them—things they now needed to know.

As the pillow companions of Li Shimin and Li Xuanba, managing the inner household was only a minor duty. Their more important role was to be the people Li Shimin and Li Xuanba trusted most—their true “companions.”

Li Shimin and Li Xuanba had already discussed with their two mentors whether they should tell Yuwen Zhu and Changsun Kangning these secrets themselves, or whether their teachers should do so first.

Yuwen Bi and Changsun Sheng, of course, chose to tell them in advance, so they could guide and prepare the two women.

Last night, after finally dumping the two drunkards into bed, Li Xuanba told Yuwen Zhu about Changsun Kangning’s original “future.”

Her father would die young; she, her mother, and her brothers would be driven out of the family. Her mother would die in depression. To avoid disaster, she would marry early… Those turbulent early years would become the soil that nurtured the resolute character of Empress Changsun, but they would also make her far too cautious and self-effacing.

Whether it was persuading her brother to refuse the chancellorship, or telling Emperor Taizong that she would follow him in death rather than become another Lü Empress—both showed how excessively careful she was.

So did her refusal to turn down excessively frequent pregnancies.

Childbirth for women was already a walk through the gates of hell, and after the age of thirty-five the mortality rate skyrocketed. Aristocratic women often refused marital relations in later years to preserve their lives. Even an empress had the right to do so—but Empress Changsun never did.

Men often did not understand such things. They only saw frequent childbirth as proof of their love for their wives.

“Second Brother is slow in some areas. If you don’t tell him directly, he won’t know,” Li Xuanba had said. “So you must trust him and communicate with him. I don’t want Second Brother to become someone who cries at his wife’s tomb for the rest of his life after losing her.”

Those words had shocked Yuwen Zhu.

She had always known Li Xuanba was unconventional—but for a man to say such things was not merely unconventional; it was downright rebellious against the norms.

And she loved it.

So she not only didn’t try to stop Li Xuanba, she was more than willing to join him in these “rebellious” acts and help change her little sister’s fate.

Was there anything happier than changing the destiny of those you loved?

Still, after hearing the tragic yet beautiful love story of Li Shimin and Changsun Kangning’s future, Yuwen Zhu had cried her heart out, crying so badly she lost all dignity, frightening Li Xuanba into panicked circles.

Feeling embarrassed, Yuwen Zhu decided to bully Changsun Kangning mercilessly instead.

“Stop pinching… stop tickling me! I don’t even know what I did to offend you, Sister, but I was wrong! Please spare me!”

Changsun Kangning rolled all over the bed and finally hid under the quilt, leaving only her little head exposed.

Yuwen Zhu said fiercely, “Remember this: even though you’re married, you are still you. You must put yourself first. Think of your parents and brothers—don’t make them worry. We were raised at home as precious treasures; we didn’t marry just to be worn down and mistreated.”

Changsun Kangning asked cautiously, “But the Duke of Tang’s household has such a good family tradition. How would they mistreat us?”

“I know,” Yuwen Zhu replied. “If the Duke of Tang’s family weren’t good, our parents wouldn’t have let us marry in. Everyone hopes we’ll live well—but we have to stand up for ourselves too.”

Changsun Kangning nodded. “Got it, got it. Honestly, I don’t really want to go take care of him anyway. I’m so sleepy… and so hungry. Damn Erlang—why did he have to drag me into dancing? It’s all his fault!”

Yuwen Zhu twitched at the corner of her mouth. All his fault? I told you to take care of yourself, not to start throwing the blame around.

“Yes, yes, it’s all his fault. So you absolutely must rest properly,” Yuwen Zhu said as she patted the bulging quilt. “Lie down—I’ll massage your head. That way you won’t get a headache later.”

“Okay!” Changsun Kangning obediently lay down, squinting her eyes. “Sister is the best. Oww—gentler!”

Under the care of Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu, Li Shimin and Changsun Kangning rested for a full day, and by the third day they were back to full strength.

Li Shimin bowed deeply to Li Xuanba and Yuwen Zhu. “Thank you, little brother and sister-in-law, for saving my life.”

Changsun Kangning also put on a show of bowing. “Thank you, brother-in-law and Sister, for saving my life.”