HLM – Chapter 80 – The Master of Verbal Combat

The two sides shook hands. Robert said with a blank expression, “Mayor Wang, I think you understand why I’m here. Because of your town, our highway is being abandoned.”

Old Wang replied, “Abandoned? I wouldn’t say that. Your stretch of road just gained a sibling, that’s all.”

“Hah, are you joking with me?” one of the officers snapped angrily.

“Because your road was built, ours won’t get maintained anymore, and no one will pass through. If that’s not abandonment, then what is?”

“So, what exactly are you here for?” Wang Bo asked.

Robert interjected, “Easy, guys. I’m here today in the name of friendship. I want to propose relocating our town over here. Look at your town—there’s nothing here. Our town has two hundred households. If we merge, things will surely be better.”

Wang Bo’s eyes narrowed. This was the first time he’d heard someone try to steal territory in such a polite tone.

“Why do we need to merge? You want to move here, just move. I welcome anyone to my town. My town welcomes all good people.”

He deliberately emphasized “my town,” making it clear to Robert and his crew that a merger was absolutely not on the table.

New Zealand’s political system is different from China’s. In China, towns merge through appointments by higher authorities. In New Zealand, such a merger would require a new election.

And obviously, Sunset Town currently only had one household—Barbara’s—while Tahiti Town had two hundred. If they merged, Wang Bo would no longer be mayor of his town.

Robert seemed like a strong-willed guy. He skipped the political games and cut straight to the point: “Relocation is impossible. Chinese man, you need to take responsibility for what you’ve done. Our town is being destroyed because of you. You will be held accountable, got it?”

Wang Bo laughed out loud. What a shameless bastard. This land was his private property—he could do whatever he wanted. And the road construction was the government’s decision. What did it have to do with him?

It was clear Robert wasn’t going to be reasonable. Wang Bo realized things were about to turn confrontational.

But when it came to verbal sparring, Wang Bo wasn’t afraid. Arguing requires skill—rhetoric, wit, sarcasm, and punchlines. And conveniently, back in college, he’d been a leader in the comedy club. He knew what he was doing.

“Listen up, Robert. I think you’re here to pick a fight, not make friends. Was it my decision to build the road? No—it was the government’s. Is it my fault your town is in trouble? No—it’s your own damn fault!”

“Don’t think you can push me around just because I’m a new immigrant. Buddy, the era when Western colonizers could plant a few cannons on an Eastern shore and take over a whole country is long gone!”

“And don’t think I don’t know your situation. Your town used to sit on prime land. Instead of diversifying, you sat on your hands, and now that you’ve lost one road, your whole town’s collapsing. That’s honestly impressive.”

“And let’s get something straight: your highway isn’t being demolished. The government just won’t maintain it anymore. So what? If you care that much, pay for the maintenance yourself…”

“You make it sound so easy…” Robert was clearly annoyed by the verbal barrage.

“Don’t interrupt. I’m not done yet. Listen up—this is my turf. On my turf, only I get to interrupt you, not the other way around. Got it?” Old Wang immediately seized back control.

Seeing their boss going full beast mode, Bowen, Charlie, and the Juan were dumbfounded—and kind of wanted to applaud.

Old Wang shot them a glare and said, “Don’t mess around. This isn’t some talent show where the boys strike poses to win applause. This is a full-on battle between two mayors putting their hearts and souls on the line. The future of both towns hangs in the balance. This could shape the destiny of the top town on the South Island!”

“Thank you,” Robert said, his tone softening a little.

Wang Bo replied, “Don’t thank me. When I said ‘top town on the South Island,’ I meant Sunset Town. Your place has barely grown in decades. Even if I gave you the title, you wouldn’t dare hang the sign.”

“Fuck you!” Robert finally lost his temper and swore.

Wang Bo raised his phone: “Swear one more time, and don’t blame me for decking you. Let me give you a little heads-up, Mayor—every word you say to me now might just end up as court evidence later.”

One of the officers glared menacingly at him. But Zhuang Ding caught on immediately, jumped up and struck a threatening pose, barking furiously: “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

At just six months old, the mastiff was already massive—and with its soul core, it looked even more powerful and fearsome.

Faced with the enraged, roaring mastiff, the cop flinched and stumbled two steps back, shouting in fear, “Damn it! Get that thing away from me! Or I’ll charge you with assaulting a police officer!”

“Assaulted by a dog? How embarrassing,” Wang Bo scoffed.

He was done arguing with them. These guys had embarrassingly poor skills in verbal combat. As a veteran master of the art, continuing this spat felt beneath him.

So he waved them off. “Goodbye, gentlemen. If you want to relocate here, you’re welcome. But if you want to merge towns? That’ll happen when mountains crumble, rivers dry up, winter has thunder, summer has snow, and heaven and earth merge—never, in other words!”

“May I say something reasonable?” one of the other officers asked, face dark.

From Wang Bo’s shoulder, Commander squawked loudly, “Ah! No! Ah! Shut up!”

“What the hell is that thing?” the officer exclaimed, half-laughing in disbelief.

Commander stared him down without flinching: “Ah! Mom! Ah! Mom!”

“He’s saying you’re his mom,” Juan helpfully explained, earning himself a death glare from the officer.

“This little bastard’s clever as hell. I seriously suspect it has a human soul,” Bowen said admiringly.

Charlie burst out laughing and looked at Zhuang Ding. “Hey buddy, is this one of your relatives? What a disgraceful one.”

The two cops were about to lose it. One of them yelled, “Get that damn bird out of here—”

Wang Bo cut him off: “Watch your mouth. That bird’s standing on the shoulder of an Eastern giant. Insulting it is insulting the giant himself.”

Charlie added, “Trust me, pal, don’t provoke it. If it comes to a debate, that bird will go off in English, Chinese, Shandong dialect, Sichuan dialect, Northeastern slang, and Cantonese—back to back. You ready for that kind of smoke?”

Things were about to erupt into a full-blown fight, so Wang Bo decided to drop a final bomb:  “Hold up—before we go further, just a heads-up: On the way back, I saw a black Nissan on the roadside with its tires slashed. You guys wouldn’t happen to know whose car that is, would you?”

“Fuck!!” The three men turned pale and bolted for the door.

If their car really had tire trouble, they’d have to walk to Omarama City—over ten kilometers away—and it was 30+ degrees out!

Watching them leave in such a mess, Charlie applauded, “Well done, Wang! You were amazing just now!”

“For Sunset Town!” Wang Bo nodded modestly.

Bowen sighed, “Shame no one actually slashed their tires…”

Wang Bo simply smiled and said nothing. Who said no one did it? He was just about to head to the sandbox and take care of that himself.