HLM – Chapter 52 Other Meanings of “Wang”

The girl was a clerk at the service counter. As soon as she spoke, Bowen immediately perked up and said enthusiastically, “Oh, that’s great! Then I’ll go back and search carefully for it. If I can sell it, I’ll definitely treat you to a big meal. I have to thank you for the information you’ve given me.”

Obviously, Bowen had entered show-off-and-flirt mode. Wang Bo wanted to say, Let’s just look at the SIM cards already, but as soon as he opened his mouth, Bowen smoothly pushed him behind: Wingman, step aside. It’s time for the fighter jet to take off.

Wang Bo smiled and stood silently in the back: If you’ve got the skills, go ahead. I’ll just quietly watch you hit on her.

New Zealand’s main telecommunications providers are Vodafone, 2Degrees, and Telecom. They all offer various types of SIM cards, and the default is Apple’s nano-SIM. Evidently, the “Cannon Company” had already swept across the New Zealand market.

While browsing, Wang Bo was surprised to find that China’s three major telecom providers—China Mobile, China Unicom, and China Telecom—also operated here. This piqued his interest, so he asked Julia, “Ma’am, I’m from China. Wouldn’t it be more suitable for me to use a Chinese telecom provider?”

Julia hadn’t chatted with Bowen for long, but his motor-mouth had already spilled all their background information, so she had a basic understanding of Wang Bo’s situation.

Hearing his question, she smiled and shook her head, “I wouldn’t recommend that, sir. Your country’s telecom services here are mainly for short-term travelers and are quite expensive. Also, I’m afraid their signal may not cover areas like Never-setting Ridge. I suggest you look into Vodafone. They have the best signal coverage on the South Island.”

Vodafone is New Zealand’s largest domestic telecom operator. Its 3G signal even covers offshore areas. Never-setting Ridge might not have 4G, but 3G would be fine.

Taking Julia’s advice, Wang Bo decided to get a Vodafone SIM card—Charlie had also suggested the same.

Julia left to prepare Vodafone’s brochure. Bowen leaned in close to Wang Bo and whispered sneakily, “Hey, bro, when you refer to me later, can you call me Big-pecker?”

“What?!” Wang Bo was stunned. He thought he’d misheard and asked again. Based on what he knew, “pecker” meant a bird’s beak, but in English slang, it also referred to male genitalia. “Big-pecker” was a rather vulgar term for… well, a big one.

“Keep your voice down! Yeah, that’s the one. Call me Big-pecker, okay? As long as you do, I swear I’ll be riding high tonight,” Bowen grinned wickedly.

“No way!” Old Wang shot him down immediately. “A man without compassion is not a man; a man without a sense of shame is not a man; a man without humility is not a man; a man without discernment is not a man. Got it?”

“Nope,” said the cowboy, completely baffled.

“It means that shameless people like you wouldn’t even be considered human by our ancestors!” Wang Bo looked heartbroken and outraged.

The cowboy couldn’t care less about being human—he just wanted to make humans. He pleaded, “Come on, Wang, help me out, help me fly!”

Wang Bo wanted nothing more than to kick this guy until he literally flew. He snapped, “Dream on! I’m not doing that kind of bitch move!”

Bowen gestured for him to lower his voice and said weakly, “Okay, okay, forget it if you won’t. Why are you so mad?”

Julia returned gracefully, smiling as she asked, “What’s going on? Who’s upset?”

Afraid of losing face, Bowen quickly said, “Nothing! My buddy and I were just joking around. Alright, let’s get on with the SIM card.”

Julia smiled. “No problem. Vodafone’s two most popular plans are the Gold 19 and the Platinum 40. The Gold 19 plan costs NZD $19 a month and includes 500MB of data and 100 minutes of talk time. The Platinum 40 plan costs $40 a month and comes with 1GB of data. The $40 is added as credit to your account, and call charges are deducted from that. Any leftover credit rolls over to the next month.”

These two plans were quite good, especially the Platinum 40—great for people who use more data and make fewer calls. For such users, the $40 could last a whole year.

But it wouldn’t work for Wang Bo. He mainly needed to make phone calls, especially international ones.

After hearing his requirements, Julia pulled out a promotional leaflet and said, “Then you’ll want the Executive 299 Plan. It costs NZD $299 per month and includes unlimited local calls, 299 minutes of international calls, and 10GB of data. Also, if you prepay for ten months, we’ll give you the latest iPhone model for just one extra dollar.”

Wang Bo thought it over. Though the 299 plan was pricey, it fit his needs perfectly, and it came with a new iPhone, which alone cost almost NZD $2,000 in New Zealand.

With that in mind, he confirmed the plan and started filling out the purchase form and warranty. Meanwhile, Bowen kept smiling at Julia and giving her flirtatious glances. But when he happened to glance at Wang Bo’s form, his smile vanished. He shouted, “Wang, what the hell?!”

Wang Bo jumped at the sudden outburst. “What’s with you? Why are you yelling?”

Bowen looked hurt and furious as he pointed at the name field on the form and growled, “What’s this supposed to mean? You capitalized the ‘W’? Are you emphasizing it or what?!”

Wang Bo looked. He had written the pinyin of his surname: “Wang.” Nothing wrong with that. So he replied, confused, “What about it? That’s my name.”

Bowen looked at him suspiciously. “Your surname… is slang for genitalia?”

“What the—?! Are you insulting me and my family?!” Wang Bo was furious.

Bowen glanced at Julia, then pulled Wang Bo aside and whispered an explanation.

In English, there are many slang words for genitalia, just like Chinese has “dingding,” “chicken,” “hammer,” and so on. Coincidentally, “wang” is one of them. It originates from the word “whang,” but due to silent letters in English, the “h” is no longer pronounced or written. Over time, “wang” became a standalone slang word in American English for male genitalia.

After hearing this, Wang Bo was stunned. He had never known that he was literally surnamed “Penis.” What’s worse, there were tens of millions of people in China with that same surname…

“And you even capitalized the W—that’s like highlighting it. It’s even more direct than my Big-pecker,” Bowen said, wearing an expression that screamed, How are you not famous already?

“Then how am I supposed to sign my name from now on?” Wang Bo was suddenly panicking.

He had a dreadful premonition. “Wang” had this awkward meaning, and “Bo” sounded just like “erection” (勃) in Chinese. Put the two together… it was unstoppable!

Bowen, realizing Wang Bo truly had no idea, gave him a sympathetic look—then burst into shameless laughter. As he laughed, he pulled out his phone, clearly intending to post about it on Twitter.

“If you dare post that joke, you’re dead!” Wang Bo snatched the phone and glared at him.

Bowen raised his hands and laughed. “Alright, alright, fine… but man, that’s hilarious. I never connected the dots before—so that’s how your surname is spelled…”