EMHTC -Chapter 84 Who’s Worse Off—Lord Yingcheng or the Heir Destined for Nanfeng Pavilion?

Who on earth had their brain kicked by a donkey to dare corrupt Little Bai Ze!

Lord Yingcheng betrayed no unusual expression but cast his gaze uneasily among the assembled court officials.

Could it be the Deputy Commander of the Central Military Office? No way, right? Just because his youngest son punched the man’s adopted son? And over what? A fight for the last jar of “Drunken Heavens” wine at a restaurant! Surely that wasn’t enough to make trouble over, was it?

Or maybe it was the Censor from the Ministry of Revenue? That seemed more plausible.

This particular official had been at odds with his subordinates, constantly engaging in bureaucratic power plays. Today, he might draft an imperial edict, only to have it rejected the next day. Or he might oppose a certain policy on one occasion, only to advocate for it later to see it implemented. The situation had turned into a battle of egos. On one side was the Censor from the Ministry of Revenue, also serving as a Hanlin scholar. On the other was the Censor from the Ministry of War. Their feud had escalated to public bickering over the past several days.

Or perhaps it was the Minister of Personnel…

As Lord Yingcheng mulled over the possibilities, he suddenly realized, with a jolt, that he had too many enemies to narrow it down!

Politics, after all, is full of rivals—some open, some hidden. But not being able to pinpoint the culprit made things much trickier.

Oh, why couldn’t it have been him who got chosen by the divine artifact?

Lord Yingcheng clenched his teeth, his gaze involuntarily drifting toward Xu Yanmiao again and again.

—”Who’s behind you? Can’t you at least give me a hint?!”

On the golden dais.

The old emperor nearly burst out laughing.

He had assumed Xu Yanmiao would accuse Lord Yingcheng of being overbearing or list some misdeeds. Who would’ve thought Xu Yanmiao would take such a wildly creative approach instead?

Even if Lord Yingcheng admitted guilt, he’d still suffer. Unless he dismissed his concubines—hahaha! Otherwise, he’d have to spend his days constantly satisfying the needs of twenty concubines!

Hahaha!

The old emperor laughed so hard he nearly fell off his dragon throne, though he tried his best to do so silently as a form of respect for Lord Yingcheng.

【Wow! Judging by everyone’s reactions, this impeachment went really well!】

【Good thing I had the emperor’s hint! This time, I’ll definitely complete the mission!】

Gasp—

Wait, so it was the emperor who had encouraged Little Bai Ze to come up with this ridiculous plan?!

The court officials were collectively dumbfounded.

“…”

The emperor’s laughter abruptly ceased.

His eyes widened as he desperately racked his brain—

When did I give any such hint?! I didn’t!

This kind of mischief is beneath me!

But down below, Lord Yingcheng had already bought into it, his accusatory gaze fixed on the golden dais.

It all made sense now. Why else would Xu Yanmiao suddenly target someone? Only the emperor could order him to act! No one else would dare risk Xu Yanmiao spilling their secrets.

“When the crafty hare is killed, the hunting dog is cooked; when the birds are gone, the fine bow is put away!”

Lord Yingcheng raised his face, forcing back the bitterness welling in his eyes.

“Your Majesty, the matter of Xu Yanmiao’s impeachment is true. This subject… has nothing to say in defense.”

The old emperor: “…”

Had this man forgotten about his allegiance to the Prince of Jibei?

—Indeed, Lord Yingcheng had genuinely forgotten.

Or rather, after Xu Yanmiao exposed the Prince of Jibei’s rebellion, Lord Yingcheng had spent months trembling with fear, worried that one day the imperial guards would burst into his home, accuse him of being a co-conspirator, and execute him on the spot. But as over a year passed without incident, his vigilance waned, and he began to relax, even as he reminded himself to stay cautious.

“Since you have nothing to say, then say no more.”

From the golden dais, the old emperor gazed forward, avoiding the eyes of his courtiers.

“Lord Yingcheng has violated propriety. You are hereby confined to your residence.”

Lord Yingcheng looked up in surprise and delight.

House arrest?!

Could it be… he had misunderstood His Majesty? Perhaps the emperor wasn’t planning to purge his loyal ministers after all?

The old emperor stroked his beard, a faint smile on his face.

Look! Look at this! I’m benevolent! Not like a certain someone surnamed Xu!

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao exclaimed inwardly, 【So generous! But judging by this, the old emperor probably doesn’t know about Lord Yingcheng secretly calling him a nouveau riche. Otherwise, why would he be so lenient…?】

The old emperor paused, his smile fading as he let out a cold laugh. Then, as if remembering something, he added, “When you have made up for the time owed to your concubines, your confinement will end. During this period, you must still observe the daily rituals of propriety.”

Translation: For every night you missed with your concubines before, you’ll have to make up for it now. In addition, you still need to fulfill the usual quota of satisfying twenty concubines per day.

In truth, the rules for “propriety” weren’t usually so rigid. Most people managed their households however they wished, as long as no one made an issue of it. But thanks to Xu Yanmiao’s “helpful reminder,” the old emperor suddenly recalled how he himself had been mocked as a nouveau riche for daring to live in a fifty-square-meter bedroom.

This required investigation. Retribution was necessary!

Upon hearing the emperor’s decree, Lord Yingcheng’s face turned ashen, and he swayed on his feet.

“Your Majesty…”

Twenty concubines a day, plus making up for lost time?! This was a death sentence!

【Wow! I wonder who’s worse off—Lord Yingcheng or the Jibei heir about to be sent to the Nanfeng Pavilion!】

With a sharp slap, Lord Yingcheng clutched his backside. The initial plea of “Your Majesty” in his trembling voice shot up several octaves, reaching the heavens, full of frantic excitement: “Your Majesty! This subject believes Your Majesty’s punishment is entirely appropriate! Let the punishment fit the crime! This subject admits his guilt and willingly accepts the penalty! After court today, I will shed my official robes and return home to fulfill the neglected rites—oh, and I humbly request that Your Majesty appoint a nanny to supervise my progress at the bedside!”

—In certain excessively formal and wealthy households, having someone feed you, wipe you in the bathroom, or even stand watch while you engaged in bedroom activities was perfectly normal and not the least bit awkward. They had grown up with such customs.

The old emperor opened his mouth, speechless.

“I am simply adapting to the circumstances.”

The old emperor closed his eyes.

My innocence…

“Then grant the nanny!” the emperor declared decisively.

Since there was no way to prove his actions were purely situational and not motivated by a peculiar desire to insult his officials, he decided to abandon any pretense of virtue. This was the only way to maximize the benefits!

History would vindicate him!

Beside him, the court historian lowered his head, his brush moving swiftly:
“…Chongming privately mocked, calling the emperor a ‘nouveau riche.’ The emperor, upon learning this, was displeased and confined him to his home, decreeing that he should tend to his wives and concubines, with a penalty if he did not satisfy twenty in a day.”

—Chongming Wu was Lord Yingcheng’s given name.

This was recorded in the imperial annals by the historian documenting the daily life of the Tiantong Emperor. Meanwhile, the historian responsible for recording the personal conduct of officials wrote in much greater detail.

However, no matter how detailed, any mention of the Bai Ze’s influence was intentionally omitted.

Thus, the historical record simply stated: The Tiantong Emperor was offended by Lord Yingcheng referring to him as a “nouveau riche.” In response, the Ministry of Personnel’s Assistant Secretary, Xu Yanmiao, impeached him on grounds of failing to fulfill his “ritual obligations.” The emperor rebuked Lord Yingcheng for neglecting the happiness of his wives and concubines and subsequently ordered him confined to his home to satisfy them daily.

—As for later generations of curious scholars piecing together evidence of Lord Yingcheng’s collusion with the Prince of Jibei during the rebellion of that year, speculating that the Tiantong Emperor’s actions were meant to provoke the prince, that would come much later.

The matter of Lord Yingcheng’s impeachment was settled. Then, out of the blue, Huang Yong, the Langzhong of the Ministry of Personnel’s Civil Appointments Office, stepped forward and began impeaching others.

He targeted both officials in the capital, such as the Censor of the Ministry of War, and provincial officials, like the Assistant Surveillance Commissioner of Guizhou. Over the course of his charges, he impeached seven or eight individuals, and the emperor punished each one accordingly.

Lord Yingcheng’s face turned deathly pale.

He realized what was happening—but it was already too late. Furthermore, the large scale of the court’s actions made it clear that the emperor was unafraid of him trying to send out any warnings.

The emperor was intentionally stirring the pot!

Meanwhile, Huang Yong’s behavior left the censors glancing at each other in disbelief.

Xu Yanmiao’s actions were one thing, but why was someone from the Ministry of Personnel acting like this? Was the Ministry trying to steal the Censorate’s job?!

A tense silence fell as several censors exchanged looks and made calculations. Once Huang Yong stepped back into line, three or four censors rose together and unleashed a torrent of impeachment accusations against various officials, determined to remind everyone that this was their job.

One particularly bold censor directly criticized the emperor, saying: “A ruler’s words are not to be taken lightly! How can Your Majesty joke about an official’s wife? What if the Minister of Works were heartless and turned around to offer his wife to you? That would bring chaos to the court!”

The force of their arguments was so intense that even the emperor retreated, hastily adjourning the court session.

Later that day, after the government offices locked their doors and the day’s work was done, Huang Yong left his post distractedly. He had been on edge, worried that Xu Yanmiao might connect the dots between the two incidents. Only now, a day later, did he feign discovering his wife’s deception and angrily confront her.

His wife was momentarily stunned. “You… already know?”

Huang Yong maintained a stern expression.

“Yes! I know everything! It was you—Ai Ai was you. Lian Lian was also you.”

His wife asked calmly, “So, do you want a divorce?”

Inwardly, she began calculating how to maintain a dignified life afterward.

Huang Yong’s stern facade crumbled instantly. He surrendered in a heartbeat. Though he didn’t cry, his voice was filled with emotion.

“No! We can’t divorce! My lady, let’s just stay the way we are!”

His wife blinked. “…What?”

At this point, Huang Yong broke down in tears, sobbing uncontrollably.

“I can’t bear to part with Zhen Zhen, Ai Ai, and Lian Lian! Let’s just keep things as they are. I’ll continue preparing four gifts for every holiday! Pretend I never found out about any of this!”

His wife raised an eyebrow. “…If that’s the case, why did you have to expose it?”

She couldn’t understand. If he hadn’t confronted her, couldn’t everything have stayed the same?

Huang Yong replied with conviction: “I absolutely refuse to let you laugh at me behind my back for being a fool!”

For the third time, his wife fell into a brief silence.

So… it’s fine as long as she laughs to his face?

The old emperor swore he had only taken a curious glance at Huang Yong’s residence. What he discovered, however, shocked him: Huang Yong acted as if nothing had happened. In fact, on the very evening after impeaching officials connected to the Prince of Jibei, Huang Yong had strolled through the streets with his wife, leisurely selecting gifts for his dear companions—Zhen Zhen, Ai Ai, and Lian Lian.

The emperor’s eyes widened in disbelief. “!!” His pupils trembled.

“Father!” The crown prince entered, holding up two slabs of cured meat. “Quick, help me decide—between these two pieces, which one’s better quality? Also, what about this Jinhua ham? If I send these together, it shouldn’t be too much, right? Should I throw in two dried fish as well? That way, it won’t seem like I’m trying to ingratiate myself.”

The emperor’s expression grew increasingly peculiar. “What is this for? Which household are you sending this assortment to?”

“Xu Yanmiao’s home,” the crown prince replied cheerfully. “To congratulate him on his promotion. He doesn’t have a gatekeeper, so I deliberately waited two extra days to avoid overwhelming him with gifts.”

Meanwhile…

Across the capital, many officials’ wives were staring at their husbands’ gift lists, questioning their own eyesight.

“What is this?”

Cured meat? Smoked fish? Ham? Rice? Bean paste?

What are we doing here—visiting relatives in the countryside?

When questioned, the officials quickly explained to their wives:

• “Yes, that’s exactly it. Just prepare these items.”
• “No money—don’t put even a single copper coin in there!”
• “Live chickens or ducks? No need; he doesn’t have the space to raise them. The key to gift-giving is knowing the recipient’s preferences. These are perfect.”
• “I specifically picked today to deliver, two days later than everyone else, so Xu Lang will surely remember me!”
• “Everyone else swarmed his house during his day off. We’re going at a different time! Make sure to greet him warmly when we arrive.”

One carriage after another, loaded with meticulously prepared gifts, set off from their homes and rolled onto the bustling streets, heading toward the southern 36th district. Each carriage carried a steward, representing their master with a serious expression and an upright posture. Surrounding them were gift boxes packed with cured meats, hams, and other similar items.

And then…

“Hmm? Why are we moving so slowly?”

A servant went to investigate and returned to report: “There are so many people out today. The carriages are all stuck in traffic on the district streets.”

One house’s steward frowned slightly and instructed his subordinate: “Go tell them to make way for us. Say that we are from the State Duke’s residence…”

However, the person in the next carriage retorted arrogantly: “Our family is also from a State Duke’s residence. Why should we let you pass?”

The servant moved on to the next carriage. This time, the person inside spoke politely, with a scholarly demeanor: “I am from the Dou family. Apologies, but I am under my master’s orders and cannot make way.”

The Dou family? Prime Minister Dou?!

The servant gasped sharply and hurried to the next carriage. There, the person didn’t say a word but simply flashed a token.

“Th-th-th-the…” The servant stammered.

The Crown Prince?!

What kind of person is this newly promoted official? Even the Crown Prince is patiently stuck in traffic, waiting in line!