EMHTC -Chapter 79 Haha! There Are Still Good People in the World!

With the promotions announced and affairs settled, the officials were preparing to conclude the court session.

The emperor, recalling the matter of the “greedy finance clerk,” casually—he swore it was a casual remark—said, “Minister Jin, where is your wife? Have her come to the palace.”

The Minister of Works, who had been lost in thoughts of preserved meat, abruptly raised his head and looked at the emperor with shock and uncertainty. “Your Majesty… at this time of day?”

The old emperor was puzzled. “What? Does summoning your wife require me to pick an auspicious day?”

The Minister of Works spoke cautiously. “Your Majesty, I meant that it’s only just dawn…”

The emperor grew even more puzzled. “What? I not only need to pick a day but also a specific time to see your wife? Besides, it’ll be mid-morning by the time court adjourns.”

The Minister of Works mustered his courage. “Your Majesty… wouldn’t it be more appropriate to consult Her Majesty the Empress?”

The emperor waved dismissively. “Seeing your wife first won’t stop me from consulting the empress afterward. I’m not so old that I lack the energy for both.”

After speaking, the emperor noticed several officials lifting their heads, their expressions seemingly filled with shock.

“?” The emperor thought it over. Their reactions made sense—he didn’t appear to be someone who would actively seek out female officials. The previous instances had all been circumstantial.

Patiently, he explained, “Minister Jin, rest assured. I am not setting a trap, nor am I probing to see if your household is still engaged in commerce. I simply wish to ask your wife some questions about trade. If she is truly talented, I may even assign her a new position related to commerce.”

The Minister of Works straightened up in relief but instinctively blurted out, “Trade?”

Before the emperor could respond, Xu Yanmiao was already laughing uncontrollably in his mind:

【Hahahahaha! The Minister of Works actually thought the emperor wanted to claim his wife! Hahahahahaha!】

The commander of the imperial secret police grew tense, sneaking a glance at the emperor. As expected, the veins on the emperor’s hand bulged visibly.

The emperor spoke calmly, “No, it’s true. I am coveting a minister’s wife.”

The Minister of Works’ heart pounded wildly, and he hurriedly begged for forgiveness. “It was my petty mind, incapable of grasping Your Majesty’s great wisdom! Your Majesty is a virtuous and noble ruler, devoted to the welfare of the state. How could you concern yourself with domestic affairs? I deserve to die ten thousand times for forcing Your Majesty to utter such words!”

The furrow in the emperor’s brow deepened, his expression growing more displeased.

The Minister of Works’ heart raced faster as he began mentally drafting his farewell speech.

My wife, my children, my family, I may not return! The empty coffin at home will finally serve its purpose!

“HAHAHAHA!”

The emperor couldn’t hold back any longer and burst into hearty laughter. “You jest with me, Minister, so I jest with you. Was it amusing?”

“Ha… haha… so that’s how it was…” The Minister of Works’ pale face gradually regained its color.

In the court, he didn’t dare wipe his sweat publicly, so he exhaled in relief internally.

What a close call! For a moment, I was ready to resign, take my wife and kids, and flee. This ministerial position may have been earned through years of toil since the founding of the dynasty, but if staying in it meant sacrificing my wife, what kind of man would I be?!

Liang Rui glanced at the emperor seated on the throne but said nothing.

Having teased the Minister of Works, the emperor seemed to be in a good mood. “Is there any further business?”

If not, they could adjourn and head to their respective offices to work.

A few officials stepped forward to report matters, dragging things out with lengthy discussions until, finally, the heavenly sound everyone had been waiting for echoed through the hall—

“Court is dismissed!”

Xu Yanmiao was already half-asleep, but upon hearing the announcement, his mind became clearer than anyone else’s. As soon as the old emperor left, he quickly tried to slip away—only to be intercepted.

Those he knew, and those he didn’t, all clasped their hands in greeting when they caught his eye.

“Congratulations, Xu Lang!”

“Best wishes! Best wishes!”

“Xu Lang, you’ve been promoted—your future shines bright!”

Xu Yanmiao had no choice but to take a few steps, then stop to offer his thanks. By the time he finally had some peace and quiet, he let out a sigh. “So much for having a peaceful life now!”

The Ministry of Personnel is divided into four departments: the Personnel Office, the Office of Seals, the Office of Merits, and the Office of Evaluations. If someone is merely referred to as an Assistant Director of the Ministry, it invariably means they are part of the Personnel Office.

As an Assistant Director, Xu Yanmiao was now responsible for reviewing officials’ qualifications, resumes, and performance evaluations. He could already imagine how many people would be keeping an eye on him—offering gifts, trying to curry favor—just hoping he would show them leniency. And that wasn’t even counting his newly acquired position as a Chamberlain close to the emperor. With just a casual word to the emperor, someone could soar to great heights.

Lian Hang emerged from the crowd and approached Xu Yanmiao. Upon hearing his lament, he burst into laughter. “There are so many people out there desperate for a promotion and unable to get one, and here you are wishing for a quiet life.”

Xu Yanmiao glanced around. Seeing no one else nearby except his good friend, he lowered his voice. “You know me. I don’t understand politics or court games. The higher you climb, the more likely you are to get caught in some factional struggle and end up with nothing left—there’s even a term for it: virtue unworthy of position!”

Lian Hang chuckled before he even spoke, then said, “What are you so afraid of?”

You’re Bai Ze. If even you are unworthy of your position, then how many people in this world could hold theirs securely?

Clearing his throat, Lian Hang said, “Xu Lang, you have an innocent heart, and you’re incorruptible and compassionate. That’s exactly what His Majesty values most. Don’t underestimate yourself. With your outstanding character, you have a bright future ahead.”

Xu Yanmiao remained silent. He considered himself self-aware enough. What bright future? What could he possibly rely on—some theoretical modern knowledge? Barbed wire? He’d rather focus on doing his job diligently, not standing out, and just avoiding trouble.

Lian Hang didn’t need to hear Xu Lang’s thoughts; just looking at his expression, he knew what he was thinking. Smiling slightly, he chose not to press the matter.

From his perspective, Xu Lang didn’t need to do anything special—just being himself was enough. His Majesty valued precisely this sincerity.

“Now that you’ve been promoted and it’s the holiday season, Xu Lang, have you decided what you’ll do to celebrate?”

Lian Hang had already made up his mind. If Xu Yanmiao didn’t have other plans, he would drag him out for drinks. It’s not every day you get promoted—how could you not celebrate with some good food and wine?

Xu Yanmiao smiled at him. “I’ve decided. I’m going to a flower house to enjoy flower wine.”

“Drinking? Drinking sounds good… Wait, what?!” Lian Hang’s heart skipped a beat. “Where did you say you’re going? A flower house???”

Xu Yanmiao replied casually, “Yeah! I’ve already made plans with someone. I’m off now!”

Lian Hang stood frozen in place, watching Xu Yanmiao’s figure disappear into the distance, racking his brain to figure out…

Who?! Who corrupted little Bai Ze?!

The woman introduced herself as Xiangniang, a name given to her by the flower house. Although she had left that life behind and could have adopted a new name, she simply said, “I’m used to it. Too lazy to change it. It’s just a name—nothing inherently dirty about it.”

Dressed in men’s clothing for convenience when coming and going from the flower house, she had also purchased medicine. She understood that these efforts were a mere drop in the ocean for the sisters still trapped there. With her limited resources, she couldn’t afford to buy their freedom, so this was the best she could do.

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao had been deep in thought for a long time:

【I feel… this flower house could be shut down.】

The supply-and-demand theory came to mind. If no one—or very few—patrons visited the flower house, it would go bankrupt. And wouldn’t the “employees” inside have to find new paths?

The flower house wasn’t a charitable organization; it wouldn’t sustain the women for free. Even being sold as concubines or maids would be better than remaining in the house.

First, he needed to scout the place to see how this could be accomplished.

After accompanying Xiangniang during the day to meet her sisters and ensuring she left the flower house safely, Xu Yanmiao braced himself and ventured into the lively, licentious venue alone that evening.

【So noisy!】

【The smell of alcohol is so strong!】

【And so many scholars and literati…】

Several officials, visiting the flower house after work, were caught off guard when they suddenly heard Xu Yanmiao’s voice. Their expressions turned strange for a moment.

Xu Lang… has reached this stage of life too?

【Eh? Tea? No, I don’t need tea! I don’t like tea!】

【…Strange, why did the smiles of those singing and dancing girls fade the moment I refused?】

The confusion in his inner voice amused the officials, who exchanged knowing glances with their colleagues, smirking slyly.

It was well-known that Xu Lang had no wife, no concubines, not even a maidservant. He had never set foot in a brothel. Judging by this encounter, the rumors were spot on.

Fresh out of the oven! Still green!

He didn’t even know about the “flower tea” trick—a cup of so-called flower tea, priced at several wen, was just the madam’s way of probing how much money you had in your pockets.

【So many colleagues here too…】

【Lu Yu, Assistant Minister of Justice, is here. Does the Ministry of Justice have so little work?】

【Oh, and the Marquis of Yangwu—what’s he doing here? Could he even use a stand-in at a place like this?】

【Huh??? Cui Yi dared to come? Isn’t he notoriously henpecked? Isn’t he afraid of his wife?】

Coughing sounds echoed throughout the flower house as several men choked on their tea, wine, or saliva.

The officials Xu Yanmiao called out struggled to maintain their smiles. Some, deciding it was better to own the moment, leaned boldly out of the windows and cupped their hands in greeting to others doing the same.

What’s the big deal about coming to a flower house?

A man visiting a flower house—is that even newsworthy? The emperor hasn’t outlawed it for officials, after all!

The officials who weren’t named practically wore their schadenfreude on their faces.

In one room, a famed courtesan leaned against an official’s chest, her slender arms wrapped around his neck. Her breath carried a delicate fragrance as she teased, “What happy thought has crossed your mind, my dear patron, to make you smile so brightly?”

—“My dear patron” was the standard term courtesans used for their clients.

The official leaned back against the cushioned couch and chuckled. “Seeing someone else drenched in water while I stayed dry naturally puts me in a good mood.”

The courtesan didn’t fully understand his words but knew better than to press. She laughed softly, flattering him with a few light-hearted remarks.

Breathing in the room’s perfumed air, the official sighed. “What a shame that Lian’er is unwell today and unable to attend to me. Her skills in fragrance blending far surpass yours.”

The courtesan’s expression didn’t falter for even a moment. She smiled sweetly and replied, “Lian’er often speaks of you, my dear patron. I heard she even struggled to get out of bed today just to instruct me on your preferences. Unfortunately, I lack her talents and finesse.”

The official traced his hand along her slender waist, his smile turning suggestive. “No need to belittle yourself. Your Lian’er doesn’t have a waist as slender as yours…”

Downstairs, Xu Yanmiao politely declined the advances of the thirty-second courtesan who approached him.

One of them covered her mouth as she giggled, teasing, “Little scholar, are you short on money? You’re so handsome—I wouldn’t charge a single coin to entertain you.”

Hearing this, Xu Yanmiao backed away even faster, his retreat amusing the courtesan, whose laughter rang even more brightly.

But to her surprise, the handsome young scholar returned moments later, pulling a small pouch of silver coins from his pocket and pressing it into her hands. “I know you’re Lian’er’s good sister. Take this and give it to Lian’er so she can see a doctor.”

With that, he hurried away again.

The courtesan stood there, frozen in place, holding the pouch of money in disbelief.

She couldn’t hear Xu Yanmiao’s inner thoughts:

【How tragic…】

【To have a patron’s child forcibly aborted with a stick.】

【Four months along, beaten until the fetus was gone. She nearly lost her life. Now she’s bedridden, her body broken.】

Upstairs, the official who had been enjoying himself heard a murmur about Lian’er’s condition. When he caught wind of the details—bloodied and mangled flesh—his expression shifted to one of disgust. He resolved not to request Lian’er’s company again, her situation too off-putting. Instead, he found himself appreciating how tactful and attentive Aiyue was…

Just as his thoughts began to wander, Xu Yanmiao’s voice echoed again:

【These patrons really aren’t afraid of dying, are they? The madam, to prevent her ‘money-makers’ from getting pregnant, laces their tea and food with mercury. And they still dare to come here, drink here, eat here… Mercury is poisonous, you know!】

Suddenly, the sound of shattering cups and plates filled several rooms in the flower house.

Dry retching followed as some patrons gagged, clawing at their throats.

Dancers and courtesans stood in shock, unsure why these esteemed officials had suddenly shoved them away, smashed their cups, or darted to the side to vomit.

【Ah… Truly, they value lust over life. Or maybe they don’t understand the risks of visiting brothels? Virtually every flower house has cases of poisoning…】

【Hmm, should I warn Shang Yuan? He’s an Imperial Censor and comes here often. If he catches soft chancre, he probably wouldn’t even know… That disease eventually rots away a good inch or two of the root, doesn’t it?】

【Forget it. No need to warn him. Anyone who frequents flower houses—it’s only a matter of time before they catch something.】

【Wow, Shang Yuan is still praising that courtesan for her slender waist.】

“Bang!”

Xu Yanmiao heard a loud sound, like someone overturning a table. He looked up in confusion.

【Is that a fight breaking out? Or just some kind of show in the brothel?】

【Forget it, it’s none of my business. I need to think more about this… Geez, so many of my colleagues are frequenting brothels. Wait, Ji’an Marquis??? Why is it you again?!】

Upstairs, Ji’an Marquis also wondered why he was always singled out.

What had he done to offend Xu Yanmiao?

【Sleeping with three women a day… Whether or not his kidneys are failing, someone here definitely has syphilis.】

【Though maybe he doesn’t care? Perhaps he thinks it’s a mark of sophistication rather than shame?】

【That must be it. If he cared, he wouldn’t be in a brothel. I remember a scholar who had advanced syphilis—his nose had rotted away—and people still called it a romantic tale.】

In his private room, Ji’an Marquis frantically pushed the courtesan beside him away, covering his nose and trembling in fear.

How could he not care?! His nose was at stake!

Damn it! Why is this brothel so problematic when others are perfectly clean?!

In his fury, Ji’an Marquis began smashing objects around the room.

Internally, he screamed: Close it down! This brothel must be shut down!

No, that wasn’t enough! The prostitutes here must also be barred from continuing their trade. If they went to another brothel, he might not have syphilis now, but what about later?!

【Wow, so many people are here!】

【Even the Deputy Minister of the Ministry of War and his son! Aren’t they worried about ending their bloodline?】

【Oh, and a Treasury Department official? Tsk tsk, such selflessness. Someone under him has been eyeing his position—what a great opportunity for them.】

【A protocol officer from the Ministry of Rites?! Phew, let me check… Have I had any dealings with him? Thankfully, no. Even though this shouldn’t spread through conversation or shared meals, it still feels gross.】

【…Shouldn’t?】

【Oh, and there’s more…】

After wandering around the brothel muttering to himself, Xu Yanmiao left, feeling troubled.

“How am I supposed to deal with this? There are so many high-ranking officials involved—it seems difficult to bring it down.”

Two days later, Xu Yanmiao heard that the brothel he’d visited had been forcibly shut down. The prostitutes there were ordered to leave the trade by some kind-hearted, anonymous individuals. To avoid causing a stir so close to the Emperor’s residence, arrangements were made for them to settle down properly.

And apparently, there was more than one such kind-hearted individual.

Xu Yanmiao was elated.

The next morning at court, he was all smiles.

【This world is still full of good people! …Wait, why does it feel like there are fewer officials here today? Let me see… Why are they all going to the clinic? And sneaking around at that.】

【Ah!!!】

【I missed out on such juicy gossip!】

【Damn it! After I left the brothel that day, Ji’an Marquis managed to get information from that courtesan, Aiyue, about someone in the brothel having syphilis! He immediately ordered his household staff to smash the place up!】

【Hiss, it seems quite a few officials got involved too!】

【No wonder that brothel was shut down. No wonder he went to see a doctor the next day under the pretense of taking leave.】

【Let me see how he found out… “Doctor, I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable in that area these past two days. Can you check if there’s something wrong?” Ah, so he noticed physical discomfort and suspected it might be that disease. He probed for answers, and only after confirming his suspicions did he seek a doctor the next day.】

【He even knew to cover his face while visiting the doctor… Understandable. If it were me, I wouldn’t want my colleagues to know either. Fortunately, he went at night with his face covered, so no one noticed.】

【The other officials who took leave are likely doing so for the same reason. Though their excuses are all over the place… Wow, this one’s really ruthless to himself. To avoid suspicion, he even broke his own leg. Officially, he’s seeking treatment for his leg, but in reality… Tsk tsk, such dedication.】

Other officials: “…”

A subtle wave of sympathy arose for the colleague with the broken leg.

Well, now that Bai Ze has exposed everything, you broke your leg for nothing.