EMHTC -Chapter 69 A Commercial Success Story—How to Sell Diapers to a Second-Rank Official!

“House?!”

I have a house now?!

The old emperor is so generous! Just for providing two ways to use barbed wire, he gifted me a house in the capital?!

Xu Yanmiao took a deep breath, staring at the land deed in his hands, checking and rechecking it. Once he confirmed it was genuine—especially with the emperor’s note in the box explicitly stating it was a gift—his face visibly flushed with excitement.

The next day, Xu Yanmiao woke up at the usual time, 3 a.m., to attend court. But this time, he felt no inclination to complain. Full of energy, he headed to the court lounge, carrying his customary flatbread. Today, however, he had also splurged on a cup of hot soy milk.

No more rent to pay! Life is good!

“Xu Yanmiao.”

“Hm?” A voice called from behind, startling Xu Yanmiao. He instinctively took a step forward before turning around, his mouth still full of flatbread, cheeks puffed out.

Quickly swallowing the food, he cautiously asked, “Master Liang… is there something you need?”

He worked in the Ministry of Personnel, so there didn’t seem to be much reason for the Ministry of Justice official to seek him out.

The official, surnamed Liang with the given name Rui, hesitated briefly before saying, “Before court sessions, it’s best to avoid consuming liquids.” With that, he cupped his hands in farewell and walked off.

“Eh?” Xu Yanmiao looked down at his cup of soy milk, still confused, but reflexively raised his voice to call out, “Thank you!”

Then, while munching on his flatbread, he opened the system interface.

And then—

Hiss—

He nearly spat out the flatbread.

Engrossed in the system, Xu Yanmiao didn’t notice the subtle reactions of the surrounding officials. Startled by his gasp, several quietly edged closer, ears perked up.

The officials who were still eating breakfast promptly stopped.

Forget food! Gossip is far more important!

【Good thing, good thing. Good thing I didn’t drink too much.】

【Turns out, in the previous dynasty, someone couldn’t hold it in during court and urinated themselves. They were immediately demoted from a central position to a remote local post.】

【They had painstakingly climbed to the role of Senior Clerk for Criminal Affairs, a proper seventh-rank official! But they were demoted straight to a county registrar—not even a county magistrate!】

In the lounge, several officials who had recently consumed soup or water abruptly stood up. The jade tablets in their hands slipped to the ground with a loud clack.

Hurriedly picking up their tablets, they bolted toward the nearest latrine, determined to address the situation before court began.

The fear of demotion wasn’t the main concern anymore—it was about saving face!

If they couldn’t hold it in during court, the humiliation would last a lifetime!

In one corner, a historian responsible for chronicling the previous dynasty quickly pulled out his brush and bamboo slips—paper wasn’t convenient to use in this situation. He instinctively straightened his posture, his gaze fixed on Xu Yanmiao, eagerly waiting for him to reveal which official from the previous dynasty had suffered such embarrassment, ready to immortalize it in his records.

Beside him, Liang Rui sighed deeply: “…”

Not sure why, but suddenly I feel like I might have made things worse with my good intentions. Though the person encountering trouble isn’t Xu Yanmiao.

【Master Liang is truly a good person. If not for him, I might have ended up like that Criminal Affairs Clerk—what a tragic case. That Zhang Jing was even the top scorer in the Tianbo eighth-year provincial examination, but just one mishap ruined his entire career.】

Xu Yanmiao’s thoughts echoed with a mix of gratitude and regret.

Nearby, the historian’s eyes lit up like two bright orbs as he furiously scribbled notes.

Liang Rui: “…”

Fine. Historians are meant to do this sort of thing, after all. As long as they’re not making things up, it should—probably—be okay… right?

【Actually…】 Xu Yanmiao hesitated in his thoughts for a long time, clearly conflicted. 【What if I try introducing disposable diapers? But can the seamstresses at the clothing shop make something like that? If I describe it—something that wraps around the bottom and doesn’t leak—it should be doable, right?】

The officials: “?!”

This, this, this—

“Such disgraceful conduct!” a censor muttered under his breath.

Wearing something like that was simply… simply…

Another official swore, “I can fast before court sessions—I’d never wear something like that! What would it look like?!”

For a moment, whispers of agreement swept through the officials.

Xu Yanmiao, oblivious to what was happening, carried on with his day as usual.

He attended the morning court session, checked in at his office, completed his tasks, and waited until the office lock-up time before heading home.

“Oh, I can’t go straight home today—I have a new house now. I need to buy some things…” Xu Yanmiao muttered to himself as he walked into the East Market. “The New Year is coming; I should buy new clothes… Eh?”

From a distance, Xu Yanmiao spotted a colleague acting suspiciously. The person glanced left and right several times before sneaking into a clothing shop. A short while later, they emerged looking thoroughly relieved, as though a major life issue had just been resolved.

Xu Yanmiao: “?”

After a bit, another colleague repeated the same sneaky behavior.

Xu Yanmiao: “??”

And then, to his surprise, he saw the Minister of Works.

The minister also noticed him. One foot was already stepping out of the clothing shop, evidently having finalized some agreement.

The two locked eyes, standing frozen for a moment.

Xu Yanmiao: “Minis—”

The air grew heavy.

The Minister of Works quickly darted out, grabbed Xu Yanmiao, and pulled him into a nearby alley. Standing straight, he immediately demanded, “What are you doing here?!”

“Buying new clothes for the New Year.”

“Oh, I thought…” Under Xu Yanmiao’s puzzled gaze, the minister clamped his mouth shut and then abruptly changed the subject. “What’s your take on today’s court matters?”

Xu Yanmiao: “…”

He tried hard to keep his expression neutral.

【You’re seriously asking a low-ranking clerk who copies documents about today’s state affairs? Really?】

Of course, it wasn’t entirely inappropriate—talent doesn’t depend on rank. But Xu Yanmiao thought about it and realized he hadn’t done anything remarkable to show talent—oh, except for the barbed wire, but that had nothing to do with court affairs.

The Minister of Works suddenly realized he’d asked a pointless question and quickly changed his tone. “Master Xu, would you accompany me for a walk?” He sighed heavily, clearly burdened with some concern.

Xu Yanmiao thought for a moment. Since there was still plenty of time before the East Market closed, he nodded and kindly asked, “Does the minister have a difficult matter to resolve?”

“Of course…”

【Could it be that he’s upset about his daughter catching feelings for a man a few days ago, leaving a father’s heart heavy with nowhere to vent?】

Minister of Works: “…”

He simply wanted to divert attention. If someone casually asked the seamstress about the Minister of Works secretly commissioning undergarments designed for catching urine, it wouldn’t take until tomorrow—by tonight, all the officials in the southern thirty-six districts would be gossiping about it.

But now…

The Minister of Works nearly ground his teeth to dust. “Of course! My daughter—she’s been stolen away by some scoundrel!”

【So that’s what it is!】 Xu Yanmiao realized. 【It seems those two are currently strolling along the Luo River, exchanging sweet nothings and flowers, happy as butterflies!】

I’ll beat that scoundrel into a butterfly!

The Minister of Works forced a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Before Xu Yanmiao could respond, he added, “I’ve already investigated. She’s walking with that man by the Luo River.”

In the Da Xia Dynasty, the boundaries between men and women weren’t as rigid. Events like spring outings and sacrificial festivals were essentially matchmaking gatherings. It wasn’t unusual for couples who had already caught each other’s eye to meet privately.

But for the Minister of Works, this was a massive issue.

“Xu Yanmiao, tell me—why wouldn’t she at least inform her father about something this significant?” His initial rage shifted into a hint of sadness as he continued, “If she truly loves him, could I bear to break them apart? Unless…!”

The Minister’s pupils trembled. “She’s chosen someone I cannot accept?!”

Someone in their sixties or seventies? A mere child of six or seven? Or… wait, no need to speculate. From Xu Yanmiao’s inner thoughts, it was clear the person she was secretly meeting was at least a proper human.

Xu Yanmiao carefully chose his words. “This… Lady Jin must have excellent taste. Perhaps she’s simply… a little shy.”

However, the Minister distinctly heard—

【Hmm… probably? After all, you rarely pay attention to her, just give her money…】

The Minister’s eyes widened further in shock.

Giving money isn’t enough to show care? Should I give her land too? Well, her current five hundred acres do seem a bit meager.

Could it be that when setting up her estate, I used purple sandalwood furniture she didn’t like? Perhaps she prefers a different wood? Come to think of it, I don’t even know what kind of wood she likes. I just chose the most expensive. What a failure of a father.

Busy with government affairs and unable to bond with his daughter as casually as he did with his son, he’d opted instead to provide her with more maids, servants, and jewelry… but still, he had neglected her.

【She rarely had companionship. The big house was often just her and the maids.】

The Minister of Works was deeply ashamed.

Indeed, he’d been preoccupied with court matters, his wife engrossed in business (albeit under the guise of a distant relative, as officials’ families were prohibited from trading), and his son sent off to govern elsewhere. Only his beloved daughter remained, often alone…

【So, when a young scholar cooked her a simple bowl of porridge himself, she was so touched that she gifted him a mansion with a hot spring and a rare fox-fur cloak.】

While the family wasn’t short on money, and such gifts didn’t hurt the Minister’s coffers, the underlying sentiment made his blood boil.

Where did this brat come from? A mere bowl of porridge, and he had my daughter worrying about whether he had a roof over his head or warm clothes to wear!

“Xu Yanmiao! Come with me to the Luo River!” The Minister grabbed a thick wooden stick lying by the wall. “Today, I’ll make sure he understands how hard it is to marry the daughter of a Minister of Works!”

Xu Yanmiao followed along, mentally remarking: 【Didn’t you just say you wouldn’t break them apart? That’s quite the quick change of heart. Is this what they mean by the inscrutable mind of a man?】

By the Luo River, a young woman and a scholar walked side by side.

The scholar’s eyes were faintly shadowed, and his frame was thin, but his gaze was filled with deep affection as he looked at the woman. “Lady Jin, I will never let you down. Once I pass the imperial exams, I will come to your family to propose.”

The woman gazed at him just as affectionately, her lips parting lightly, “If you live, I live…”

“Live my foot!” A furious shout rang out.

The two turned in surprise to see a strong, imposing man marching toward them, a thick wooden staff in hand.

The woman hurried to him, taking a few steps before reaching his side. “Father, what are you doing here?”

The Minister of Works stood tall and fierce. “Separate! You must separate! I absolutely forbid you from being together, or I will—”

Before he could finish, Lady Jin interrupted, “Fine.”

“I’ll cut off your allowance—what?” The Minister froze in disbelief.

Lady Jin calmly repeated, “Fine. Father, you want me to separate from him, don’t you?”

The Minister of Works looked suspicious. “Are you serious? This isn’t some trick to protect that boy, is it?”

Lady Jin nodded. “Of course, I’m serious.”

The scholar stood stunned. “Lady Jin! Why…”

She turned to him, looking confused. “My family doesn’t allow it, so of course, I must listen to them.”

The scholar was speechless. “But… but we love each other! Once I pass the imperial exams, I’ll come to marry you! Can’t you wait for just a few more years?”

Xu Yanmiao couldn’t help but mutter inwardly: 【Who knows when you’ll pass the exams? At thirty, you’re an old scholar; at fifty, you’re a barely-passed candidate. Though there’s no more ‘mingjing’ exams now.】

The Minister of Works nodded vigorously in agreement.

“If you can’t pass by fifty or sixty, should my daughter wait for you until then?”

The scholar raised his head slightly, a trace of pride in his expression. “That’s not the case! With my talent, how could I waste so many years?”

Xu Yanmiao thought: 【So confident? Oh… He must be planning to charm little Jin and have old Jin pull some strings for him.】

The Minister of Works frowned, his face darkening. “You’re a fool. There are countless scholars in the world, and how dare you claim you’re superior to all of them?”

The scholar spoke mildly, “I, though untalented, have been praised by every teacher who has taught me for my cleverness and potential.”

The Minister of Works raised an eyebrow. “Oh? Could it be that you’re actually capable?”

Xu Yanmiao thought: 【Huh? He didn’t actually say he was clever… After carefully flipping through the pages, Wait, haha, his teachers said, “You’re talented, but unfortunately lazy and like to take shortcuts. If you worked hard, you would certainly make something of yourself,” hahaha…】

【Isn’t this the classic teacher’s line—“You’re smart, you just don’t study”? Nine and a half out of ten poor students have heard this, and now he’s using it to boast about himself? Oh, dear, old Jin must be too experienced to fall for this!】

The Minister of Works, not sure if he had seen enough to not be fooled, froze and said nothing. “…Thanks, Xu Yanmiao.”

His expression neutral, the Minister of Works replied, “Our son-in-law doesn’t need to be too clever.”

Meanwhile, Lady Jin said earnestly, “It’s not that I can’t wait for a few years, it’s that my family doesn’t allow us to be together, so I must listen to them.”

The scholar glanced at the Minister of Works, then quickly turned his gaze back to Lady Jin. “Lady Jin, you told me that your family dotes on you.”

Xu Yanmiao couldn’t help but mutter: 【Is this it? You can’t even handle your own family, and you expect to change her mind and have her go against her family for you? That’s pretty irresponsible.】

The Minister of Works almost clapped in agreement.

Exactly! Thankfully, his daughter wasn’t foolish.

After hearing his daughter’s defense, his doubt turned into relief. He wanted to tell her not to talk to this man anymore and to go straight home. If he dared to persist, he’d break his legs!

Lady Jin, still facing the scholar, continued with clarity, “Yes, my family did dote on me before, but as you heard, if I stay with you, my father will cut off my allowance. This is the first time! It shows how angry my father is. This is serious.”

The scholar’s face was filled with disappointment. “Just money…”

Lady Jin looked confused. “The house you received is from my family, the fox fur you wear is from my family, and all of that is nothing compared to the wealth in my family. If you can’t even resist the house and clothes, why should I suffer with you?”

The scholar was stunned, speechless, his face flushed.

He tried again, “But… why…?”

Lady Jin thought for a moment. “That day it rained heavily, you invited me into your house and cooked me congee. That really moved me. I just thought to be with you for a while…”

Before she could finish, Lady Jin saw Xu Yanmiao’s face and paused for a moment.

The scholar, still waiting for her response, watched as the woman who had been so affectionate with him suddenly turned and quickly walked over to a young man, gazing at him deeply. “If you live…”

“Smack—”

The Minister of Works swiftly covered his daughter’s mouth.