EMHTC -Chapter 67 Who would’ve thought! Being dirty and skipping baths had such benefits!!!

“Your Majesty! Spare me, Your Majesty!”

Several Jinyiwei were dragging the Marquis of Yangwu outside, while a little eunuch nearby carried four Shenji rockets, conveniently enough for one to be tied to each limb.

The Marquis of Yangwu flailed his legs and twisted his neck desperately backward, shouting at the top of his lungs:

“But Your Majesty! If you give me funds, I promise results within five—no, three years!”

It was the perfect image of someone drawing a big, bold vision to scam research funding, a sight all too familiar in modern times.

【What the Marquis of Yangwu mentioned is indeed flawed—it easily causes objects tied to the rockets to spin in place and might even veer off course…】

—Primarily because the industrial foundation just isn’t there yet.

The old emperor glanced directly at the Marquis of Yangwu with a rather smug expression.

The Marquis instantly deflated, wilting like a plant that hadn’t been watered in ages.

【Still, it might be worth experimenting with. Who knows, they might manage to create a rocket! By then, just a few quick whoosh-whoosh-whoosh! Gunpowder could fly over and blow people up!】

The old emperor said nothing.

The Marquis of Yangwu perked up again. “Your Majesty! Please reconsider, Your Majesty! I’ve even named it already! It’s called ‘Fire Dragon Emerges from Water’! With it, our Da Xia will surely be invincible! Even if we can’t make this exact thing, we could create similar weapons! We can take it step by step!”

【What a pity! The idea is great! But there’s no money!】

Xu Yanmiao’s inner voice even accompanied this realization with a “smack!”—a sound effect symbolizing a clean break.

The old emperor: 🙂

Thank you, but I can’t even muster a laugh.

Does he not understand that these fanciful ideas might have potential? But without funds, researching these things would take time and piles of money.

And who knows when results might show up?

Three to five years would be fine, but what if it takes a lifetime?

Besides, money isn’t the only concern—there are other considerations.

A musket paired with a short sword? Sounds like a great idea, but attaching a short sword isn’t as simple as gluing it on.

Does the musket need modifications? What length should the short sword be to ensure it doesn’t interfere with the musket’s firing before being detached? And the blade of the short sword has to be sharp enough—otherwise, what’s the point of attaching it at all?

Digging Out Stones to Fill with Gunpowder?

What a good idea, but the size and thickness of the stones must be carefully chosen and tested to ensure they don’t compromise the explosive’s power. And should the gunpowder formula be adjusted too?

All of this requires manpower for research, resources for support, and time for refinement.

【But if it’s about money, who knows? Maybe the Marquis of Yongchang, while fighting in Waguo, might discover gold and silver mines over there?】

The Marquis of Yangwu, who had been silenced by the mere mention of “no money,” perked up at the mention of gold and silver mines. His heart skipped a beat as he struggled free of the Jinyiwei, looking pitifully at the old emperor. “Your Majesty…”

Not to be outdone, General Wude and General Piaoqi, who had also proposed weapon modifications, chimed in: “Your Majesty—”

At that moment, the three shared the same thought:

If only one weapon can be chosen for development, let it be mine first!!!

The Minister of Revenue wasn’t pleased. He immediately stepped up to defend the budget. “Your Majesty! Pursuing reckless militarism is unwise!”

【Here we go, the classic rhetoric: to win the leader’s favor, start by putting a label on the opposition!】

Xu Yanmiao’s previously distracted and scattered thoughts suddenly zeroed in on the Minister of Revenue, his eyes sparkling. 【Are we about to witness another heated court debate?】

Ever since his transmigration, Xu Yanmiao had realized that the ministers’ disagreements on policies during court sessions could get extremely intense.

They would even undermine each other!

And draw fanciful visions to sway the emperor!

The Minister of Revenue’s expression was steady, but his eyes held a trace of smugness.

For such trivial matters, why resort to a quarrel over budget allocation? Xu Yanmiao is still too inexperienced.

“For over thirty years since the founding of the dynasty, we are in a crucial period for developing the people’s livelihood! That iron should be used for agricultural tools! That money should go toward water conservancy!”

The Minister of Revenue spoke carefully.

Xu Yanmiao tugged on the sleeve of the Ministry of War Official and whispered, “I bet the Minister of Revenue is about to team up with the Minister of Public Works. And the Minister of Public Works will definitely agree!”

The Ministry of War Official was puzzled. “How do you know?”

Xu Yanmiao feigned an air of mystery. “You wouldn’t understand…”

Up ahead, the Minister of Revenue, oblivious to their private exchange, had already turned to the Minister of Public Works. “Right?”

Agriculture fell under the Revenue Ministry, while water conservancy required the Public Works Ministry.

—Although firearms manufacturing was also the responsibility of Public Works, in a nation where agriculture was the foundation, advocating for water conservancy held greater influence.

The Minister of Public Works promptly took a side. “Your Majesty! I believe that now is the time for recuperation and rebuilding…”

【Ah, the frustration of holding onto juicy gossip but being unable to share it is unbearable.】

Xu Yanmiao’s internal voice was filled with regret.

【I really want to tell Lian Hang—of course the Minister of Public Works would agree. His daughter admires and adores the Minister of Revenue, sighing every day about, *’You were born before I came of age; now that I’ve grown, you’ve aged beyond my reach…’】

The Minister of Public Works suddenly stopped mid-sentence, sharply turning to glare at the Minister of Revenue. If looks could kill, the Minister of Revenue would have been slashed to pieces.

The Minister of Revenue was utterly bewildered and, fearing Xu Yanmiao might overhear, lowered his voice. “I… I’ve never even met his niece!”

The Minister of Public Works sneered. “Sometimes, you don’t need to meet her. Shameless old man.”

You just wait!

The Minister of Revenue: “…”

It’s Over. The Alliance Is Broken.

The Minister of War seized the opportunity to add fuel to the fire, slyly remarking, “If we don’t go to war, how will we create the conditions to recuperate and rebuild? Let’s not forget—the reason you’re all discussing this so-called ‘recuperation’ is because the Marquis of Yongchang is out there fighting Waguo.”

This remark was mainly directed at the emperor.

Your Majesty! The only reason we can talk about how to spend the gold and silver mines is because they were seized through warfare. You can’t just discard us when it’s convenient, only to grovel when you need us!

The old emperor was just about to ponder this when…

【Ah! My bad, I made a mistake!】

Even though no one could hear him, Xu Yanmiao instinctively apologized.

Suddenly, the emperor’s attention was completely diverted.

What mistake?

【Not the Minister of Revenue, it’s the Minister of War.】

The Minister of War: “What?!”

Why am I involved now?!

The moment he spoke, his right eyelid began twitching furiously.

Turning his head, he immediately saw the Minister of Public Works—a notorious doting father—glaring at him with murderous intent.

If the man had a weapon in hand, blood would surely have been spilled today.

“…”

The Minister of War started to feel uneasy and attempted to defuse the situation. “Uh… Yongnian, calm down. What if—what if it’s all a misunderstanding? Look at me… I’m not exactly young anymore. She might have mistaken me for someone else.”

—The Minister of Public Works, Jin Jingchang, courtesy name Yongnian.

Reluctantly, Jin Jingchang tried to convince himself. “You might be right, perhaps…”

【Let’s see how this connection started… Oh! The Minister of War has written many treatises on border defense. Jin Jingchang’s daughter, who has been passionate about martial arts since childhood, encountered his writings and was deeply inspired by their brilliance. She simply couldn’t help herself.】

Snap!

Jin Jingchang shattered the gold-inlaid jade belt at his waist with a single twist.

【Ah! But still…】

The Minister of War took two steps back. “Stay calm… stay calm…”

Meanwhile, the Minister of Revenue had never felt closer to narrowly escaping death than he did at this very moment.

The other ministers quickly stepped in, holding Jin Jingchang back by any means necessary— some grabbed his hands, others wrapped their arms around his waist.

“Brother Jin! Don’t act rashly; we can discuss this at length!”

“Brother Jin! It might not even be a case of youthful infatuation. It could simply be admiration for a talented individual! Isn’t niece fond of martial arts? Let’s find a group of seventeen or eighteen dashing, skilled young men to showcase their abilities in front of her. Surely niece will—”

Jin Jingchang, eyes red with anger, glared at the speaker. “My daughter is still young! She wouldn’t be interested in others!”

The minister holding him stumbled over his words and quickly corrected himself. “Yes, yes! Of course, she wouldn’t be! Niece merely enjoys challenging talented young men one by one. Once she’s busy with that, she won’t have time to care about a Minister of War she barely sees once in a lifetime!”

The Minister of Public Works began to consider the feasibility of this plan.

But before that—

“Get out of my way!!!”

He was determined to beat that shameless old man, who still exuded charm despite his age, into a pulp!

【Huh? What’s going on? What’s happening?】 Xu Yanmiao craned his neck curiously, excited beyond measure. 【A fight over uneven distribution of benefits?!】

When he saw it was the Minister of Public Works trying to single-handedly thrash the Minister of War, Xu Yanmiao blinked.

【…Huh?】

【If he’s this angry without knowing his daughter cried over the Minister of War, what will he do if he finds out?】

“I—”

The Minister of Justice, who was holding onto the Minister of Public Works’ waist, nearly cursed aloud. He stumbled back, clutching his own waist and grimacing in pain. “Jin Yongnian, this guy…”

He had just been shoved aside! Three ministers together couldn’t restrain him!

The Minister of War swallowed nervously, watching as the Minister of Public Works raised his arm. The sleeve of his official robe slid down, revealing well-toned forearm muscles. A single thought echoed in the Minister of War’s mind—

This is the end for me!

At this critical moment, Xu Yanmiao’s internal monologue arrived fashionably late—

【Then again, maybe the Minister of Public Works already knows his daughter no longer likes the Minister of War. He might not be as angry anymore?】

Seizing this opportunity, the Minister of War darted behind Xu Yanmiao, who was neither tall nor strong. The shock left Xu Yanmiao speechless as he turned to stare at the Minister of War in disbelief.

The Minister of War coughed awkwardly and stammered, “Little… Xu, let me hide behind you for a bit. I owe you one.”

And I’ll even forget all the times you called me a grim-faced man! Consider it settled!

Xu Yanmiao whispered, “Minister, it’s not that I don’t want to help, but… you’d be better off hiding behind the Marquis of Yangwu. There’s no way I can block Minister Jin.”

“You can! You can!” The Minister of War blurted out. Seeing Xu Yanmiao’s doubt, he quickly added, “He’s a man who values his reputation. He would never lose his composure in front of a low-ranking official like you. And don’t worry, he won’t come after you later either. He’d find it beneath him to hold a grudge against you.”

【Huh? Is that so?】

The Minister of War nodded vigorously as if trying to convince himself. “He values his reputation!”

Regardless of whether Jin Yongnian truly cared about his image, the Minister of War decided to bet on it. Surely Jin wouldn’t dare lash out at Little Bai Ze, would he?

Xu Yanmiao hesitantly nodded, casting a glance at the Minister of War’s grim face. His thoughts began to wander.

【I wonder how the Minister of War would feel if he knew he broke a young girl’s heart because he doesn’t bathe and is too dirty.】

【Jin’s daughter worked so hard to learn her father’s route home after work. She hid by the roadside to catch a glimpse of him, only to see a walking lump of coal step out of the carriage. Her heart shattered. She immediately threw herself into her maid’s arms, crying: ‘I thought his talent made up for his age, but he’s so filthy! I’d rather just admire his essays!’】

The Minister of War: “!!!”

He was overjoyed.

Who would’ve thought! Being dirty and skipping baths had such benefits!!!

He had planned to take a bath today, but maybe… he should wait another two days?

The Minister of Public Works was equally elated. He adjusted his sleeves and tried to re-tie his broken belt around his waist.

In his heart, he resolved: never again would he impeach the Minister of War for his lack of cleanliness! Not bathing was fantastic! Simply fantastic!

【Speaking of which, I wonder if the Minister of Public Works knows his daughter recently heard about a prodigy—a seven-year-old who could compose poetry with divine inspiration. She’s been captivated by this talent and keeps repeating, ‘I was born when you were not; now that you are here, I am already old’… Wait, why does that sound so familiar?】

Xu Yanmiao pondered this for a moment, opening up the daughter’s gossip archives. What he found was a string of similar phrases, all directed at different people.

【Oh, and not just people. When she was sixteen, she helped her cousin’s family hunt down a bandit gang with their large, ferocious dogs. She couldn’t stop talking about the dogs on the way home, sighing, ‘Oh, dogs, why must you be just dogs?’】

【So… maybe she’s just prone to saying these things?】

The Minister of Public Works was so overwhelmed with joy he nearly cried.

In that moment, he felt as though as long as his daughter didn’t like older men, she could do whatever she wanted.

Didn’t she want to join the military? Why not! If there could be a female top scorer in the imperial examinations, why couldn’t his daughter disguise herself as a man and join the army?

He’d even pay for her to become an officer! That way, there’d be no risk of her sharing a tent with soldiers and exposing her identity.

—After all, most second-generation officials did the same thing! Of course, anything higher up would have to be earned through real military merit.

As for His Majesty…

The Minister of Public Works glanced at the old emperor and made a firm decision.

Next time he entered the palace, he’d throw all his dignity away if needed, to secure the emperor’s blessing! That way, there’d be no worries about deceiving the sovereign!