EMHTC -Chapter 60 Wow! The Prince Consort Wears Height-Increasing Insoles!

The same voice that had shouted earlier outside the courthouse, claiming scrolls could be artificially aged, resurfaced.

The person yelled at the prince consort, “Who can prove what you’re saying is true? Just because you say you’d teach her—ouch!”

Suddenly, three or five Jin Yiwei (Imperial Guards) sprang out, apprehending the person and maliciously dislocating their joints…

“Ahhhhhh—”

The person screamed in pain but was promptly gagged with a wad of cloth, leaving only muffled “mmph mmph” sounds.

The Jin Yiwei commander cursed, “Scoundrel! Finally caught you! Take him away!”

Lifting the man like a chick, the commander carried him into the courthouse and loudly declared, “Your Majesty! This humble servant has fulfilled his duty! This man was deliberately stirring up trouble among the citizens, attempting to manipulate public opinion. My subordinates and I have apprehended him!”

Then, with a swift motion, he yanked the cloth out of the man’s mouth.

The man’s gaze wavered slightly, but he stiffened his neck as though defiant. “What?! Am I not allowed to question things? If that’s the case, why bother with a public trial? Just lock the doors and announce your conclusions in a couple of days!”

The Princess of Fangling remained calm.

She turned to the emperor and said, “Your Majesty, he’s merely a clown causing a commotion. Let’s deal with him later and first clear the prince consort’s and our daughter’s names.”

And so, the man was gagged again, tied up with rope, and shoved into a corner.

However, the incident left the onlookers uneasy and hesitant to speak.

The old emperor gave Xu Yanmiao a look, prompting him to strike the gavel and lower his voice, diverting the crowd’s attention. “Prince Consort, how do you respond to this person’s accusations?”

Yan Chun quickly summarized her points concisely: “Before my so-called ‘marriage’ to this person claiming to be my wife, I had corresponded with numerous women. Some were friends, others students, all encountered during my travels. After the so-called marriage and before the imperial examination, I maintained contact with them.”

Yan Chun spoke openly because these women were all considered unconventional by society and indifferent to public opinion.

One of them had entered a private academy at six, earned widespread fame by twelve for her poetry, and was apprenticed to a great scholar.

Another was hailed as a “female Bian Que” (a legendary physician). She had treated empress dowagers and emperors in the previous dynasty, wandered among the commoners in this one, and compiled a medical book of her life’s experience.

Others included a chivalrous swordswoman, a woman who disguised herself as a man to join the military and had since retired, and a private school teacher who was currently writing a simplified arithmetic manual to make the subject accessible to more people.

“Moreover, before the imperial examinations, I traveled and taught many women to read. Why would I neglect my own wife’s education if I took the trouble to teach others?”

The onlookers outside the courthouse nodded in agreement, finding the prince consort’s argument reasonable.

“So, was he falsely accused?”

“Seems like it…”

“Then why did he admit to it earlier?”

Xu Yanmiao also asked this question.

Yan Chun smiled faintly, calmly voicing her thoughts. “It’s true I have a birthmark on my back. I don’t know how she knew about it. Once my clothes were removed, I felt there would be no way to explain myself. In that moment of despair, I thought my reputation was ruined and everyone would brand me as a man who abandoned his wife and child. I lost the will to fight back and simply admitted to it.”

In simple terms, she had felt there was no way to clear her name, so she resigned herself to her fate, indifferent to whether the accusation was true or false.

If one didn’t know she was a female prince consort, this explanation might barely hold up.

The woman bit her lip and suddenly shouted, “Yan Lang! You personally told me that you only wanted a virtuous wife and good mother. It didn’t matter whether I was literate or not! Why are you changing your story now?”

Xu Yanmiao’s face lit up with a sly smile.

Just what he was waiting for!

“Since you claim to be a virtuous wife and good mother, and you’ve been married to the prince consort for years, tell us: what size shoes does the prince consort wear? And how long are his trousers?”

—specifically, the inseam length of his pants.

Surely, as a virtuous wife and good mother, you must have made your husband’s clothes and shoes before, right?

As soon as Xu Yanmiao finished speaking, the woman turned her head to look at the prince consort. It seemed like she was merely making eye contact to be respectful, but in truth, she was quickly estimating his height. Without hesitation, she confidently reported a size.

The bystanders began to murmur amongst themselves again.

“It really does seem like she’s his wife.”

“Yeah, she answered the size so quickly. She must’ve sewn many pants and boots for him in the past.”

Xu Yanmiao coughed lightly, “Prince Consort, you may take them off.”

Take what off?!

The old emperor shot to his feet. “This! Is improper—”

His voice abruptly cut off.

Because the prince consort, after a moment of silence, hesitated for two or three beats and then silently removed his shoes. From inside one of them… out fell a thick insole.

Standing in just his socks, his height visibly dropped a significant notch.

—From 183 cm (6’0”) to 178 cm (5’10”).

The woman’s reported size no longer matched.

Bang!

Xu Yanmiao struck the gavel, holding back his laughter as he announced the verdict with a serious expression: “As his wife, you wouldn’t know his real height? Surely the prince consort isn’t wearing these insoles to bed, right? According to your claims, you even have children together.”

The woman knelt on the ground, her legs trembling slightly.

Meanwhile, Xu Yanmiao passed judgment while internally puzzled: 【But wait, is 178 cm even considered short? Why was he so dissatisfied that he needed insoles—oh! The princess required it!】

Huh? Why?

The curiosity of the court officials and the emperor of Da Xia was piqued.

Could it be that the princess found the prince consort too short?

【The prince consort probably never imagined that, after getting married, his wife would tell him: “How are you only 7 feet 7 inches tall? You’re shorter than my second sister’s husband.】

【And then, bit by bit, she added height to his shoes. Slowly but surely, until he was finally an inch taller than Ji Sui, she stopped thickening the insoles.】

【The princess was rather clever, knowing to add the height gradually so outsiders wouldn’t notice anything strange.】

The court officials and emperor of Da Xia were utterly dumbfounded.

Even height was a competition?!

They looked at the prince consort with eyes full of deep sympathy.

What else had this poor man been forced to compare himself to over the past thirty years?

The trial concluded, and the woman and her son were dragged away. Outside the courthouse, cheers erupted, with the crowd shouting praises for a just and upright judge.

Xu Yanmiao, however, was distracted, his eyes fixed on the prince consort’s subtly moving mustache as he expressed his gratitude.

【What a long mustache… I heard the prince consort was once known as the ‘Elegant-Bearded Gentleman.’】

【How did he manage that mustache?】

【Wait a second! It’s a fake mustache! Fixed to his chin with beeswax and styled with lard. Lard has a smell, so he must replace it often. Where does he—oh my! Hahaha, he must be shaving it off prisoners!】

One by one, several officials sneaked glances at the prince consort’s “elegant mustache.”

If a fake mustache could look this convincing, maybe they should…

The Minister of Personnel stroked his own genuine long beard, suddenly recalling something that made the corner of his mouth twitch. “I heard that during the prince consort’s time as an official, he was known for his benevolence. Except for heinous criminals, first-time offenders were only subjected to ‘disciplinary punishment’ as a warning. Repeat offenders, however, were punished severely.”

Disciplinary punishment involved leaving a convict’s head hair intact but forcibly shaving off their sideburns and beard. It was typically used for minor offenses.

The old emperor remembered this too and wiped his face with a heavy hand.

At the time, he had been pleased, thinking the prince consort was an exemplary official. He even wanted to promote her, only for his daughter to stop him, claiming the prince consort’s lifelong dream was to remain a local official and serve the people. The emperor had been even more delighted and had rewarded the prince consort generously.

Looking back now, it seemed the desire to serve the people was real, but the “lifelong dream”… not so much. They weren’t avoiding central government roles out of preference—they didn’t dare!

【Come to think of it, the Assistant Minister of the Court of Judicial Review might have some things in common with the prince consort.】

The assistant minister’s face turned pale, as if he had lost too much blood.

Meanwhile, officials from Fuzhou leaned forward with excitement and glee.

“Good job, Little BaiZe!”

Finally, revenge for the time that rascal called Fuzhou people cunning! He deserves punishment!

The other officials perked up as well.

Having just resolved the prince consort’s case, their tense nerves could finally relax. It was the perfect time to enjoy some amusing gossip!

【Middle-aged and balding…】

Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh!

Dozens of pairs of eyes landed on the Assistant Minister of the Court of Judicial Review’s head. His smile froze.

The officials from Fuzhou—specifically, the secretary from the Ministry of Justice—muttered, “He’s not bald, though?”

【He’s wearing a wig!】

Ohhh~

Realization dawned upon the crowd of officials.

A wig!

The assistant minister could feel more and more gazes fixating on his wig. He grew indignant: We’re all colleagues here—could you at least try to be subtle? Glancing for three or five seconds is fine, but why are some of you staring for seven or eight seconds? Do you want me to take off my wig and hand it to you for closer inspection?

【He probably uses varnish as hair gel for styling. Maybe he and the prince consort could discuss which works better—lard or varnish.】

【But one’s for a fake mustache, and the other’s for a fake wig. Would the methods even be interchangeable?】

The assistant minister was on the verge of tears.

If you don’t know, then stop speculating! Can’t you just stay quiet and be like an unthinking, silent, wooden beauty—both in words and thoughts?!

A Prince Consort Case concluded, and the people watched with lingering interest.

Some opera masters were inspired and immediately created The New Prince Consort Case, which was sung on the stage—

“So tragic, terrifying!”

“You accuse me of abandoning my husband!”

“You suspect me because of the mark on my back!”

“Fortunately, I repeatedly spoke of Chang’e, and all the poetry and books were discussed!”

“Who am I? My surname is Yan, ancestral home Baoding. Unfortunate as I am, both parents deceased, became the prince consort, and only have the princess as my kin~”

“This crime is hard to clarify! This crime is hard to clarify!”

“Thanks to the court, I learned that women’s perspectives may not be shallow! I learned that men’s perspectives may not be profound! Who says women cannot outshine men, only regrettable they are constrained by boundaries! Ah—how I pity blind beauties! How I teach female students! Why does my wife remain confused!”

“Illiterate! Ha! She’s illiterate! Unlike my wife! Not my wife! The case is concluded—”

Actually, the focus was on height, but the opera, as an artistic creation, naturally included dramatic and popular moments for the audience—this certainly didn’t include the prince consort secretly wearing height-boosting insoles.

In the compartment below the stage.

“This opera is written very well.”

At the desk, the Princess of Fangling picked up the brush and wrote: “I learned that women’s perspectives may not be shallow! I learned that men’s perspectives may not be profound! Who says women cannot outshine men, only regrettable they are constrained by boundaries—”

“I like these two lines.”

“I like them too.” The prince consort sighed slightly, “It’s a pity that my identity cannot be revealed, otherwise this opera would be even more perfect.”

A female prince consort, a top scholar—how fitting for those lyrics.

The Princess of Fangling looked at her and smiled slightly: “Not in life, but maybe in death…”

The prince consort’s chest heaved twice, and then a smile suddenly bloomed on her face: “Yes, in death…”

Suddenly, she frowned: “How exactly was the three-petal plum blossom birthmark on my back exposed? I never undress outside, and at home, even when bathing, I never let servants approach.”

The tip of the brush moved slowly across the paper, listing suspect names one by one, then crossing them out. Suddenly, the Princess of Fangling remembered something, her expression freezing between laughter and tears: “I remember now.”

“What?”

The Princess casually tossed the brush aside and laughed: “In the thirtieth year of Tiantong, during that heavy rain in May—do you remember?”

“I remember. At that time, the relentless rain destroyed crops, with water three feet deep in low-lying areas. I went for disaster relief…” The prince consort’s expression shifted from dazed, confused, recalling, to realization: “At that time, my back was scratched by something sharp, tearing my clothes all the way to the undergarment. Could it have been seen by someone with ulterior motives?”

The Princess nodded: “We were cautious at all other times.”

Recalling that moment, the prince consort still felt lingering fear: “At that time, my undergarment fell off, and I was extremely panicked. Fortunately, the Princess comforted me for a long time before I could overcome my fear. Thinking back now, the person who saw my birthmark must not have realized I was a woman. Otherwise, there was no need to fabricate something about a wife; they could have directly exposed me as a woman.”

At first, they had addressed each other coldly as “Princess” and “Prince Consort.” Later, they became respectful, then their simple titles, carrying a hint of propriety, became playful affection.

The Princess hesitated, then spoke what she had wanted to say three years ago: “Stop worrying unnecessarily.”

The prince consort was stunned: “What?”

The Princess glanced at her chest and teased, “This flat plain—without an undergarment, no one would notice.”

Prince Consort: “…”

The Princess joked: “During the fourth and fifth years of Tiantong, the first imperial examinations after the country’s founding had many loopholes, allowing you to slip through. By the second round of exams, body searches were required, and later they even had candidates bathe together. Back then, we were glad you joined the first round. But now, looking at it, perhaps there was no need to feel so relieved—the baths allowed for undergarments, after all.”

Yan Chun glanced at the Princess’s rising chest, then at her own flat one, which no one would suspect: “…”

How infuriating.

The Minister of Personnel cleared his throat. “Your Majesty, forcing someone who’s never ridden before onto a horse could lead to a fall.”

Anyone else might be fine, but the delicate Little Bai Ze? He couldn’t afford to fall!

The old emperor fell into deep thought.

Then his eyes lit up.

【Woohoo!】

A bizarre spectacle unfolded in the countryside.

Several swift horses galloped ahead, cutting through the shimmering heat of the afternoon. Their riders’ red embroidered robes fluttered, sleeves and hems dancing in the wind. The gleaming chest plates they wore were eye-catching, but none of that was as striking as the bamboo carriage trailing behind them.

Lightweight and nimble, the bamboo carriage wasn’t bulky in the least, especially with multiple fast horses pulling it. On flat ground, it glided effortlessly, bathed in a warm, indescribable glow that enveloped the young man seated within.

Xu Yanmiao sat in the bamboo carriage, outwardly composed but internally…

【Woohoo!!!】

【Faster!】

【We’re flying!】

【Charge ahead—!】

Of course, the emperor and the court officials wouldn’t stoop to pulling a carriage themselves, so the ever-reliable Imperial Guards were tasked with the job.

The emperor and the officials rode their horses, far outpacing Xu Yanmiao’s group.

A large eagle soared over their heads. The old emperor pressed his legs to his horse’s sides, loosening his grip on the reins. In an instant, a bow and arrow appeared in his hands. His horse abruptly halted, rearing onto its hind legs. Amidst the rising dust and the long cry of the horse, an arrow streaked through the air, piercing through the eagle’s wing feathers before driving deeply into its body.

The eagle let out a sorrowful cry as it fell. Ministers surrounded the old emperor, showering him with praise: “Your Majesty’s archery is divine!”

The old emperor squinted. “I’m getting old. I was aiming for its neck, but now…”

【Huh? What’s that?】

The old emperor instinctively turned his head, following Xu Yanmiao’s gaze. In the distance, nestled among the hills, stood an academy.

Xu Yanmiao was clearly oblivious to the majestic display of the emperor shooting down the eagle, his attention wholly captivated by the academy in the distance.

“…” The old emperor flicked his sleeves. “‘Majestic archer,’ you say? Look at yourselves, as if you’ve never seen anything before! It’s just an eagle!” Then he ordered the Imperial Guards, “Pick it up and bring it along.”

Grasping the reins, he turned his horse toward Xu Yanmiao. The ministers left behind exchanged bewildered glances.

The Central Military Commissioner clicked his tongue. “His Majesty’s temper is getting stranger and stranger.”

Was this what they meant by living with a tiger?

The tiger ambled over to the Little Bai Ze’s side and lightly tapped on the bamboo carriage with a curled finger. “What’s over there?”

Xu Yanmiao consulted his system.

【Oh, my! An acquaintance!】

【That’s Ji Sui’s post! The gentleman advocating for ‘women’s virtue’ happens to be under his jurisdiction. For months, he’s been targeted and pressured, so he ran far away to Fu Prefecture, where he’s been building a reputation.】

【Quite successfully, too. The people here think he’s a reclusive sage and esteemed scholar. He’s received numerous invitations to literary banquets and garden parties. He’s turned down most of them, only showing up once or twice a month, maintaining the air of a lofty recluse.】

【This time, he was invited by the academy to lecture students. Oh, wow, even renowned scholars like Tong Da Ru are here! And look, Quan Lao is also at the academy now!】

Despite knowing all this, Xu Yanmiao kept his lips sealed. He replied to the emperor, “I wouldn’t know, Your Majesty. It looks like an academy to me.”

The old emperor cast a sideways glance at him and snapped his whip. “Let’s go check it out!”

Horses galloped swiftly until they reached the academy gates.

The academy bore a poetic name: Youyu Academy.

“Youyu?” The Minister of War mulled over the name and chuckled. “Quite elegant.”

The group strolled in leisurely. No one stopped them. Inside, the academy was crowded. Judging by their attire, most were academy students, with a smaller portion being outsiders. Altogether, there were several hundred people present.

In a courtyard, everyone found their seats, gathering around a large locust tree at the center.

The old emperor also chose a spot and sat down, followed by the other officials.

“Let’s see what this Gu Xian has to say,” the old emperor remarked.

—Gu Xian was the gentleman advocating for “women’s virtue.”

A student nearby interjected, “Who are you? How dare you address Master Gu by name so casually?”

The emperor’s entourage turned to look at the student, each exuding a commanding presence. Although they weren’t deliberately intimidating, the student still trembled nervously, stuttering as he asked, “W-what do you want?”

The Minister of Personnel, catching the emperor’s silent cue, smiled kindly at the student. “Young scholar, do not fear. We are travelers from afar, curious about this academy after seeing so many people enter. It was our mistake to offend Master Gu earlier.”

The minister, with his benevolent expression, round face, and plump earlobes, resembled the Maitreya Buddha from a temple. The student visibly relaxed, smiling as he replied, “Elder, you overstate the matter. Ignorance is no crime.”

The minister then asked about the so-called “Master Gu.”

At this, the student became enthusiastic.

“Master Gu is a reclusive great scholar. His knowledge, I believe, rivals that of Ji, Quan, and Tong.”

Ji referred to Ji Sui, Quan to Quan Yizhang, and Tong to Tong Xin. One was the leader of the Modernist School, another the head of the Ancient Classics School, and the last a maverick scholar, often called a heretical Confucian.

“Oh?” The minister sounded genuinely intrigued. “What theories does this Master Gu propose?”

“He does!” The student’s face flushed with excitement. “Confucius said: Only the wisest and the most foolish cannot be changed. Master Gu taught us that the mandate of heaven is fixed. The wisest are the highest class, while the foolish are the lowest. Change is impossible. In the vast cosmos, high-born people remain noble, while the lowly are destined to be base. No matter how hard the lowly strive, without the divine mandate, they can never become part of the upper class.”

The old emperor’s thoughts stirred. Before he could delve further into them, Xu Yanmiao’s confused inner voice echoed—

【Let’s set aside for a moment whether Only the wisest and the most foolish cannot be changed means what Gu Xian claims it does. So, according to him… the old emperor is destined to be a beggar? Even if he seizes the throne, his dynasty will perish within one or two generations?】

Several ministers: “???”

Wait, is that the interpretation? Shouldn’t it mean His Majesty carries the mandate of heaven and is destined for greatness?

The old emperor, momentarily led astray by Xu Yanmiao’s interpretation, flew into a rage.

“Good! Gu Xian! So that’s what you mean? Just you wait!!!”